Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

Previously Recorded

While most people have been searching for the perfect holiday gift for a family member or friend. Not Your Beloved Betterness Kneesus Christ, Tiberius Octavian Dupree, he’s been searching for the perfect wig worthy of a Galactic Galavanter like himself.

Yesterday in the multiverse he found it, it was gorgeous! Not as magnificently gorgeous as the hair stolen by that pasty scoundrel Kassidy Hayes but still worth more than the vamps’ pathetic life.

Now that his Betterness can be presented in the proper fashion, he can seek his vengeance, then…then....he will take back his glory at Devil’s Night.

Sporting his substitute golden locks and a fresh pair of ‘Champion’ sneakers he creeps into the lightly guarded Purge locker room during a house show in the Michigan area. Since everyone on his staff has been trying to vanquish paranormal entities it was a breeze to make in.

Tibby finds what he’s looking for, Kassidy Hayes’ Purge branded Make-Up Kit for Dermies. He wasn’t going to demote his standing in the multiverse by wearing his get-up like the cheeky vampire did.

Nor was he going to suspend it above the ring in a briefcase...it wasn’t worth that much. It wasn’t worth a human life, it was worth less than trash and he was going to treat it as such. In fact what he does with the Make-Up Kit for Dermies is this;

First he waterboards it as if he’s interrogating it for the location of his magnificent mane.

Next he submerges it in a nearby sink like he’s actually drowning the bloodsucker himself.

He follows up by taping it to a punching bag and delivering repeated knees of Betterness.

Next he puts it in a Pink Spider: TRASHLOCK trash bag, shoves it in the trunk of his car.

Drives out to Lake St. Clair, gets in a motor boat until he’s in the middle of the lake.

Finally just like a scene from Dexter, he weighs the bag down and tosses it overboard.

Kassidy Hayes’ Make-Up Kit for Dermies is now at the bottom of Lake St. Clair and Tiberius Dupree cracks his classic half smile as his simple vengeance is complete. He will now seek his glory at Devil’s Night!

The Camera pans to the announce team!

You know you can get those at any CVS next to the Feminine Products.

Shhhhh, don't ruin the magic!





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The Camera pans to the announce team!

Good god all mighty!


The scene opens up backstage near the parking area where Mugen, Molly and LIGERMASK DARK are entering the arena. Some fans who have found the parking entrance have started to crowd around behind some guardrails. Molly looks at them and almost literally hisses at them to get away. Ligermask and Mugen look at each other and their eyes light up as see this as an opportunity to shill instead.

Mugen points at Ligermask to open one of his two suitcases and Ligermask acknowledges. Ligermask bends down to open the suitcase and reveals all of The Purge merchandise that they have been selling. We see Mugenta t-shirts (which you can get at www.hausofhoot.com), "Where can I find Molly" t-shirts, "Tranquilo" Ligermask shirts, pre-pacakaged Anthony Baker cupcakes, and 8" x 12" photos of all Purge members.

Hello loyal Purge fans! Can we interest any of you in lovely Purge merchandise? We are completely negotiable!

Mugen pulls out a Mugenta t-shirt.

Mugen: Who wants one?! I'll cut you a one time deal, regular price $25. TODAY?! It's yours for only $22.75!


A screaming fan raises his hand and Mugen easily obliges. How could you turn down $22.75?

Ligermask pulls out a handful of replica masks.

: Comparlo!

Mugen: These masks are $30 bucks. Made in Mexico! And for an extra tenner, Ligermask here will sign your mask! Who's in?

Ligermask signs a mask and puts it on a child's head. He then slyly sticks his hand out in front of the child's parents and they reluctantly fork over $40 bucks.

I'll sign anything for you guys too! Regular price, $20 bucks but TODAY! TODAY! It is $16.50 and I will inscribe it for you.

A portly fan resembling Bill Ding raises his hand and is jumping up and down behind the guardrails. Mugen walks over with his 8" x 12" and a marker and signs it.

The fan exchanges $16.50 for the autograph but is taken aback at what he sees on the photo. "Lose some weight kid. -Mugen"

As Molly and Mugen are busy exchanging autographs and money with the hoard one fan manages to sneak over the guardrail and approaches the cases of merch.

Before he can reach the case Ligermask grabs the fan roughly and turns him around. Two large men approach behind them and reach ominously into their jackets.

Ligermask: Senõr! Tú quisieras comprar todo la mercancia, si?

Fan: Ummm....

Security: You WILL buy many pieces of the merchandise, and you will tell your friends to buy merch, or you will come with us.

The fan, now in fear for his life hands over all of his cash to Ligermask.

Fan: That's all I have, please...

Molly slithers over and snatches the mans wallet out of his hand, she pulls out several cards and informs him.

Molly: We take credit too!

Mugen: Alright, alright guys. Thank-you for all the money! I mean... love... and... support.

Ligermask can be heard laughing in Spanish in the background.

We ALL know that that OLD FART Nate Ortiz couldn't get close to the sales we JUST NOW made! Thank you, PURGE OUT!

The Camera pans to the announce team!

God dam shills!

How are you going to knock the hustle? It's really hard to make a dollar out of 15 cents!