Another Summercide means yet another adventure from the Sensational Timesplitters.
In a not so distant dimension, we find ourselves looking at the three heroes that we not only want, but need. The camera pans across to show the “Galactic Gallivanter” Tiberius Dupree, “Intergalactic Interloper” Ryu Matsumoto and “Messiah of the Multiverse” Mugen AKA The Sensational Splitters AKA The Destroyers of the Miscreants in the Multiverse AKA The Warriors of the Wormholes AKA The Portal Patrol.
They find themselves seated around their Transdimensional Transport Viewer 6000. A device so advanced that it can not only transport our heroes to any dimension, time, location but also allow them to watch things happen in real time on this large circular 6 foot wide glass table looking thing. For the first time in a long while, there are no disturbances in the universe for them to take care of.
RYU: You know, in another universe, I bet I am the President of the United States and I would go down as the best President ever.
Dupree starts laughing so hard he almost falls out of his seat.
Mugen: Old sport, you know that’s impossible. Just because you are a governor, you hardly qualify as one to run the country. Me on the other hand…..perfect candidate.
Dupree: A perfect candidate for phreaking failure. You both would be absurdly mediogre. You clearly need a man that is BETTER than the best….. Me!
RYU: Don’t even start. I would be the best President, even better than Al Gore, Dan Quayle, Michael Dukakis, Mitt Romney and William Jennings Bryan!
Mugen and Dupree look at each other for a second with confused faces but shrug it off because well, it’s Trash Ryu.
Mugen: Look we could argue all day and night but WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY.
Mugen points at the Transdimensional Transport Viewer 6000.
Mugen: I’m sure there are plenty of universes where we are President. Hell I’m even sure there’s one with the 3 of us running against each other.
Dupree approaches the device and starts punching in commands on a side panel. He keeps looking back and forth between the viewer and the panel clearly looking for something.
RYU: Stop! I see it! Dimension 2020-DN! This is where I run for president!
Dupree pushes a button and expands the view of the dimension known as 2020-DN for all 3 of them to watch.
The display shows a breaking news segment
Anchor: We are coming to you live from outside of Mercy Memorial Hospital where Senator "Bernie Sanders" is still in critical condition.
Anchor: Earlier today at the National Debate "Bernie Sanders" argued that Governor Ryu Matsumoto was ineligible to run for the Presidency based on the fact that he isn’t a National, having been born in Japan.
Anchor: At this, Governor Ryu Matsumoto became belligerent screaming that "Bernie Sanders" was a racist communist trying to put him in a gulag.
Anchor: He then threw his shoe at Senator Sanders then assaulted him, he had to be pulled off by security and was promptly arrested and placed in jail.
The feed cuts to grainy video of Spider being restrained repeatedly screaming “I HATE HIM”
Ryu points at the Dimension 2020-DN screen smiling
RYU: See I’m an American hero in this Universe.
Mugen: Wait a second, I forgot about the eligibility rules……
We fade to black, tune in for more!
The Camera Pans To The X-Tron
TRIPLE THREAT
S.CAINE vs TLBS vs ARCHER(c)
We cut backstage, but where is unclear. All we see is blurry wall, before the cameraman leans out past a corner and the picture refocuses on two men talking in hushed tones: B17 and TY Sparks.
B17: Listen. This is your first real test as a member of the B Community. Do not fail me. If you do… you might find your membership in jeopardy.
B17 squeezes the shoulder of Sparks, who gulps.
TY: I don’t know about this… he has it with him pretty much all of the time!
B17: And same with me and my jacket. But you got your hands on that, didn’t you?
TY: This isn’t a jacket, this is the--
B17: SHH! Enemies of the community are everywhere! Just watch… and wait. There will be an opportunity.
Sparks nods, before turning back towards the camera and walking down the hall. The camera shrinks back behind the corner, but not fast enough--it ends up face to face with TY Sparks, who looks shocked for a moment, before grabbing the cameraman and dragging him back to B17.
B17 looks at the cameraman and his lips curl into an unsettling smile.
B17: Now you see what I mean.
He waves TY off.
B17: Go. This man and I need to have a talk about… privacy.
The feed cuts with B17 still grinning evilly.