OCWFED.com Presents Riot

   

DING!
DING!
DING!
DING!
No not Bill Ding you dingbat, it’s the time keeper smashing that tiny hammer on the bell over and over again. Obviously this timekeeper lacks relative common sense, ringing that damn bell isn’t going to stop Heather Angelo and Eerie Sunshine from bashing each other’s brains in.

Heather is throwing rights and lefts, Eerie is throwing lefts and rights, both women are slightly bleeding from their lips and noses.

Eventually they fall over the barricade and into the live audience, does that stop them? HELL NO it doesn’t, if these marks aren’t careful they may catch a left or right from either bombshell.

Heather picks up a chair and just flings it at Eerie like a Frisbee who ducks then delivers a blow to Heather’s sternum forcing her to step back.

That only lasts a moment before she hits Eerie with a stiff forearm to the throat. Eerie quickly recovers herself before Heather can deliver another shot, shoving her backwards into a group of innocent fans.

Heather retaliates by charging Eerie with a body takedown, she’s successful, now both women are on the floor exchanging mounts and fists.

Finally security and OCW officials make it to the tandem, yet that still doesn’t stop the carnage. The moment their both to their feet, Heather shoves a referee towards Eerie who blasts him with a jab to the jaw.

A guard grabs Heather from behind, another idiot lacking common sense. Heather decks him with a back elbow to the chin, he falls backward into 2 other guards. Eerie and Heather collide again with punches, knees and spittle.

More security and officials rush to the scene eventually breaking the two up as we fade to ringside.

The camera pans to the announce team.

We are going to need more security holy jeez!

These two are still going at it!

Scene opens to Ed whipping together a clear cocktail, although he puts in colored flavorings, red wine, the concoction still remains clear.

He finishes up, walks out from around the bar, and walks the cocktail over to Versus, in a meditation pose, eerily still on a hammock. He reaches for his cocktail, without swaying the hammock an inch, takes a sip and places it next to him.


Versus: This is amazing Edward, just amazing. I don't know why it's clear, I don't know how it's so flavorful, but you my friend, you are a master of your craft.

Ed: That's not my craft, I'm actually a carpenter.

Versus: Well, you may have missed your calling. Ladies, let's let the people know where they're at!

Choir:
DOWNLOAD THE CHOIR SO HOLY!

Versus: Ladies, I can't tell you enough how much you inspire me. My choir ladies and gents, HIGH AF, featuring Mama Burks. Let's start off with a prayer shall we?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life
Electric word life, it means forever, and that's a mighty long...


Ed: V, you're quoting Prince again.

Versus: tim...crap, I am?

Ed: That's the opening to Let's go Crazy.

Versus: (reciting it in his head) Yes...yes it is. Ok, sorry about that. Ed, why don't you tell the beautiful people who donated the volcano today, while I prep another opening prayer.

Ed: This weeks volcano, is provided to us by Hehpi Jae industries. Because just like this Volcano, Hehpi Jae will go off and spew lava all over you, without any warning. Hehpi Jae, if you're not Hehpi, go pound sand buttercup.

Versus: Thanks Ed, Hehpi Jae industries is certainly a startup, I can get behind. What a glorious volcano. Short...and angry looking, but very glorious.

Ed: Very short.

Versus: Very.

Ed: Yes.

Versus: Let's pray.

I gather us here today in the name of sportsmanship
to welcome our opponents, victorious or not-so,
in a offering of peace and friendship.
For a victor stands before me, and though it may be marked as a loss,
I have no losses, only lessons learned, because I am forever learning.
And for those, who look at this lesson, as a symbol of lessening ability...
bless your soul.
Mighty are the works of my hands, and you will not want to see,
these works or these hands.
OOOOOHHHHHHHKAAAYYYYYYYYYY


Versus: Lovely, was it not?

Ed: Not your best.

Versus: I had a great one planned, but Prince man...Prince.

Ed: It happens.

Versus: So, today, I'd like to bring out my opponent from Savage Lands. A friend, and a champion of all, Drago Cesar!

Drago walks out and shakes Versus hand. The two men embrace in a man hug (with a couple pats on the back) and then Drago takes a seat on the interview stump.

Drago: Stump is comfortable.

Versus: Ed added a softener to the polyeurtethane to make it a little cushiony.

Drago: Can tell.

Versus: So...did I not tell you that match was going to be fun?!

Drago: You thought match was fun?

Versus: Yeah, why? You didn't?

Drago: You don't stay down...I thought we were going to have iron man match.

Versus: Not staying down is kinda what I do.

Drago: Touche. It was good battle, of course, glad I came out of it with my title.

Versus: A well earned victory my friend. And a well earned victory, deserves a well earned drink. Ed, mix up my friend here the same clear concoction you just gave me. I really think you're gonna like it.

Drago: I'm not heavy drinker, but when in Rome.

Versus: Can we get Bubba anything? Water, sand, a deer?

Drago: No, Bubba just ate. He good.

Versus: So, now that we had probably the greatest match ever seen by mankind ever.

Drago: Welllllll, I...

Versus: Greatest. Match.

Drago: It was good match, great match even, but gr...

Suddenly, the two men are startled by a collection of grunts, and sounds of equipment being knocked about... From behind the set out comes a half drunk, semi pissy Gentleman Jack.

Jack: So I was just sitting in the back masturbating to the fact that I'm now 1-0 over Tiberius Dupree when a thought hit me.

Versus: What?

Jack: Sure, beating Tiberius Dupree and Nate Ortiz in the middle of MY ring did give me a glorious erection, but what if there's more? What if there's more to strong, powerful, raging erections than just beating Nate Ortiz and Tiberius Dupree?

Drago: When you get here?

Jack: Did I mention I beat Nate Ortiz and Tiberius Dupree? Because if I didn't, I want to be very clear on something. If you take only one thing away from this entire experience, it's that I, Gentleman Jack, beat Nate Ortiz and Tiberius Dupree in the middle of an OCW ring. Thank you!

Versus: Congratulations?

Jack: Now back to my unremitting erections. While yes, beating Nate Ortiz and Tiberius Dupree did give me the longest, most colossus erection I've had in weeks, it's not enough. No, no, there are better erections out there. Prouder, rigid, more glorious erections are just around the corner!

Jack looks at his former mentor Versus, the foundation of OCW's Hall of Fame with a smile. He turns to the communist sheep f*cker, the paper champion, the fraud that is Drago and smiles even harder.

Jack: In fact, I think I see two big pulsing erections right in front of me.

The two men bristle at this unholy thought as Drago prepares to end Jack.

Drago: I am not erection. Why you call me this?!

Jack: Easy! Easy there you communist sack of donkey sh*t! Don't forget I'm the GM of Turmoil! I'm an OCW OFFICIAL!!! If you lay one hand on me outside of a sanctioned match I will strip that title off of you and give it to the real champion of OCW, Mr. Dennis Black!

Drago takes a step back, in an effort not to slap the walking advertisement for abstinence, and thus lose his title to bs once again. Versus beckons Ed to grab his cell phone, Ed tosses it over.

Jack: Yeah that's what I thought! You can't touch me! Nobody can touch me! I can drop a deuce in your beloved volcano and theres not a damn thing you can do about it! In fact, somebody get me a copy of Plump Knockers, I could drop a few kids off at the pool right now!

A production assistant hands Jack a copy of the November 1987 Plump Knockers magazine.

Drago: How did...who carry that around?!

Jack takes his antique porno mag, drops his pants, and begins to use the volcano as his personal toilet.

Versus, now half on the phone, and Drago meanwhile can only watch in disgust as Jack abuses his power and the volcano. Even with a very small, super small really very tiny blur Icon around Jacks middle area, Children are openly weeping in the stands, why is this on Rush TV?!?! Won't somebody think of the children?!?!?!


Jack: Look at me ma! I'm king of the world! I'm sh*tting in a volcano! I am the greatest! I am the greatest! Tiberius Dupree fears me! I am the greatest!

Drago and Versus begin to leave to let Jack do whatever he pleases, but Jack, drunk on hubris, power, and cheap tequila orders them to stop.

Jack: No, no, no! You're going to sit here and WATCH! Or I'll fire both of you! I'll fire half the company if I have to! I'M GENTLEMAN GODD@MN JACK AND I WILL HAVE AN ERECTION!

Jack hops off the volcano, without wiping his ass I might add, and pulls up his pants.

Jack: Drago, I'm going to bang your lion while you watch! Bubba, come here Bubba.....

Jack tries to go for Bubba, but seeing as its a lion and has no comprehension of the boss/employee relationship, Bubba growls, ready to bite the Gentleman's dick off is he tries anything.

Jack, crazy but not that damned crazy backs away, his face turning white as a ghost, the hubris that fueled his body rapidly leaves


Jack: Or maybe not... Banging lions is stupid anyway...

Drago: NO, THIS GONE TOO FAR!! You shet in volcano, that's fine...

Versus is hanging up his phone and hears this.

Versus: Hey, it is NOT fine!!

Drago: But nobody violate animals, especially Bubba!

Drago takes a step forward towards Jack, who takes a quick leap backwards. Versus reaches out and grabs Drago by the shoulder, telling him to hold on.

Versus: Jack, you'll be happy to know that you can go ahead and sheet in all the volcano's you want this week. I just got off the phone with authorities higher than yourself.

Jack: There are none higher!

Versus: I talked with Jay.

Jack: THAT'S ONE!.

Versus: Drago and I won't lay a finger on you this week, but next week, Drago will be able to. You have a match against him.

Jack: That's what you think?

Versus: A match that will be on Riot...not Turmoil.

Jack: Son of a bitch...there goes my bonified erection asshole.

Versus: Thanks for joining us at the Church...see you next time, after we thoroughly sanitize this place!!

The camera pans to the announce team.

Drago and Gentleman Jack!!!

OH I LOVE IT, you don't dookie in another mans volcano and not expect justice!

 

It's a Match!
Tobin Frost vs Cort Marshall

Loading the player...

Download here!

The camera pans to the announce team.

HE DID IT!

WOW!

NEXT PAGE

 

 

12

34

final

 

join