Tonight we have a great show for you so lets kick it off!
The show begins and we can see Blackbeard stood in the ring, his hat and jacket looking crisp, an his beard finely trimmed, adorned with trinkets, he has his hands rested on his belt, his right hand tapping away impatiently, and his many rings glistening in the light everytime the arena house lights catch them just right.
Blackbeard: Time's up Sanctuary, 7 days I gave ye, and for 7 days I heard not but a peep, so it looks like I better dust off the old harpoon gun, because huntin' season just opened!!
Just as he's about to leave the ring, Pyra's music hits, and her and Connie appear on stage and begin to head to the ring, Connie still has a bruise on her face, the remnants of the slap that Blackbeard handed out to her at The Clash, she has both hands on her stomach, cradling her pregnant bump and can be heard shouting 'how could you' as she is walking, meanwhile Pyra has a determined and furious look on her face.
Blackbeard: Well then, this is unexpected..it seems the women be havin' more balls than the men.
Pyra: We don't need the men to protect us!
Blackbeard rubs his right arm, slightly wincing as it's still burnt from Pyra setting him on fire.
Blackbeard: Aye, so it seems.
Connie: How could you hit the mother of your child? What kind of monster are you?
Blackbeard: Me a monster? What kind of creature doesn't die when it's thrown off a ship and left to the sharks?
Blackbeard: And now ye claim to be carrying the seed of Blackbeard, a little convenient don't ye think...and right on my wedding day too.
Pyra: We were NEVER getting married.
Blackbeard: My love..still playing hard to get.....how ye stoke the fires of me heart.
Blackbeard: I'm a reasonable man.....Come back with me my love, join the family, and I'll forgive all your past transgressions.
Pyra: Are you insane? Are you not listening? Your pregnant ex is standing right next to me!
Blackbeard: She be the whore of Crossbones my love, She has nothing to do with Blackbeard, my tastes are a little more....'unique' than this wench.
Connie slaps him hard across the face.
Connie: Cheeky bastard.
Pyra: With regards to your offer, I have something to tell you 'captain'....
Blackbeard: Yes my love?
Pyra: She's not really pregnant!!
As he turns to look at Connie, he is met with a swift, hard kick in the groin off her, dropping him to his knees, Pyra flips his hat off and grabs a handful of his hair and yanks his head backwards, she spits in his face and then slams him down to the mat, splitting his lip open.
Connie reaches under her top to her baby bump and pulls out a folded up sack, they both force it over Blackbeard's head and begin beating on him, stomping and punching him over and over again, screaming wildly.
Pyra: Neither of us will be leaving with you, EVER! And if you ever lay a finger on her again, I'll cut off your tackle and feed it to the fishes.
Blackbeard coughs and splutters and begins laughing hysterically, Connie and Pyra both stand there looking a little confused.
Pyra kicks him in the ribs, and rips the sack off his head, the jerking reaction makes him spit out blood.
Pyra: What are you laughing at you demented fool?
Blackbeard: You girls have the worst timing.....
Connie: What are you babbling about now?
He again begins to laugh manically as he slowly drags himself to the side of the ring.
Blackbeard points towards the ramp.
Blackbeard: My girlfriend gets kinda jealous when other people touch me....
The Camera Pans To The Ramp
The camera pans to the announce team.
Mama Jahamba!
Good heavens!
Recorded a few hours before Riot…
The scene opens up in the B2O apartment but in a room where the light is dim, and there’s a board on the wall that reads “Operation: Take Out The Trash.”
Standing in front of the board as if he was the leader of the meeting is Baker, with Becky standing by his side. Baker had on a full suit as everyone else was dressed like a normal person. Dims and H2O sitting in front of him at a round dinner table.
Baker: So, as you all know today I called a meeting you take out the trash.
He was pacing back and forth as if he was thinking hard.
Baker: Lately I’ve had something in mind. Since Big Head Dims is on our team now.
Dims shook his head at Baker’s comment.
Dimsmore: Would you like your jaw rearranged?
Baker: Don’t take it too hard big fella, this meeting is for you. We need to care of some business. Some, how do you say it?
Becky: Essential Business.
Baker nodded at Becky.
Baker: Thank you, sweets. Yes. That.
H2O: This must be essential. Diggin’ the suit Best Friend!
Baker: Because we gotta make Biggie Smalls feel welcomed to the family and thank you.
Dimsmore: If I’m Biggie then you’re Bushwick Bill.
Baker’s smile that was on his lips faded a he shook his head.
Baker: I have both of my eyeballs working fine, and my mind isn’t playing tricks on me.
Baker: But! I know someone who could have both eyes not working, and his mind playing tricks on him.
Baker: JACKSON MONTGOMERY! The plan isn’t called Operation Take Out Trash for nothing. I mean come on. The man smells.
Dimsmore: Jackson has been a thorn in my side since coming to OCW last year. The comparisons between the two of us were uncanny.
Dimsmore: I gave that man everything I had last year and he still managed to be victorious over me at the grandest stage in all of OCW, Wrestlution.
Dimsmore: That ate at me for 5… LONG…. MONTHS!!
Dimsmore was pounding the table as he spoke. Dims looks around the room and can sense a bit of fear coming from all angles.
Dimsmore: So I refocused myself. I left the wife back at home in Vegas. And at Riot 483, I sent that buffoon back to Turmoil sipping apple sauce thru a straw.
Dimsmore: Now, I’m not naive. I know how tough that SOB is. But if, as a collective, we take him out once and for all, then you can you can count on me for this cavalcade of stars.
H2O sits rather quiet and uncomfortably as the gentleman converse with one another. The beating he took from Jackson a few days ago has him rubbing the very same Tiger Balm he suggested that The Light Heavyweight champ should rub on his old knees; He himself is rubbing it against his arm and ribs.
The three of them turn their heads for a moment to look at the battered and bruised, H2O.
Dimsmore: You ok over there? I got something that can make all that pain go away.
H2O: This H2O is Grade A purified. I don’t take over the counter meds. It’ll contaminate yours truly.
Dimsmore casually slides his bottle of Buff towards Harvey.
H2O tries to take a deep breath but it hurts him. So he just cuts Dimsmore the ugly eye and slides down the bottle back.
H2O: If only I had some type of security or bodyguard I wouldn’t be feeling this way and would need this in the first place.
Dimsmore hops out of his chair as Baker holds him off from getting to Harvey. Harvey just sits there and looks at Dimsmore unbothered by the situation.
Dimsmore: Would you like your jaw rearranged too? I’d love to finish what Jackson started.
H2O: Dimz, calm down buddy. I’m just kiddin’ with you. Do me a favor, lay off the Buff Blaster. It’s giving you rage.
Dimsmore just shrugs it off and takes another sip like a Kermet The Frog meme.
Baker: Hey man, are you going to be any shape to face Shepherd tonight?
H2O: Shepherd? I thought it was Ed Reed?
Baker: I dunno if it was Ed. He definitely puts the “B” in B2O if you know what I mean? He’s looks like an urban version of you.
H2O: Eeeeeeyyyyy don’t know. He looks more like a Christian Black. Minus a sleazy broad.
H2O looks over at Becky. Becky gives Harvey a mean eskimo face.
Dimsmore shakes his head.
Dimsmore: Everyone, KNOCK IT OFF! Let’s get back to the reason of why Baker brought us here. You two knuckleheads figure out a way to break Montgomery and make it quick!
Baker: Operation: Take Out The Trash will now begin then! C’mon Becky let’s head out.
B2O gathers their things and heads out the door.
Baker and Becky leaves first with their arms locked together madly in love. H2O follows behind them but Dimsmore grabs Harvey by the jacket and turn him around.
Dimsmore: Seriously, you good?
H2O: I’m fine, Dimz. I promise you we’ll get Jackson if it’s the last thing I do. He’s not getting away with what he’s done to me and I’ve been fiending to get to him because of what he’s done to my Best Friend.
Dimsmore pauses for a moment and reaches his hand out. Harvey looks down at it and pauses for a moment himself. Then they both grab each other’s forearms.
Harvey smiles and then attempts to leave but Dimsmore holds onto his arm and yanks him back towards him. H2O holds onto his rib as he felt a slight pain.
Dimsmore: You teach that rookie the same lessons that’s been given to you. Close this tournament out. Baker and I will be close by tonight.
H2O: He’s part of The Crown for a reason so I’m not going to pull any kicks. I’m not expecting him to either.
H2O: Then next up is you know who. Last time we met he seized an opportunity that I let him have. One thing our old friend does know about me is that I’m a fast learner. That won’t happen ever again.
H2O: I hope thru his time travels he went back to the year ‘99-‘00.
Dimsmore smirks and folds his arms.
Dimsmore: Even when you’re all beaten up you always have something to say. God you’re still annoying as I remembered.
H2O: Not nearly as bad as I’m going to be with Tibby.
The car horns and it’s Becky and Baker waiting for his bros to come along. Baker rolls down the window.
Baker: Jackson is slow and he smells but he’s not stupid enough to beat himself up you guys. Let’s go!
Dimsmore: Get in the back. I got shotgun.
Baker looks over at Becky and in unison they both did a shoulder shrug. He gets out and lets him get up front.
Becky does what Becky does and peel off heading to the arena.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Oh lord!
Haha!
The camera pans to the announce team.
I can't wait!
Me either!
Riot returns from commercial break with a view of The Crown strategizing in their dressing room. Seb Abbot is surrounded by beautiful women and Large Edward is spit shining his recently acquired Tag Team Championship...with real spit.
Shepherd: I know, I know got this. Ya’ll worry too much. H20 gets more shots than a porn star on a casting couch. Not worried about him in the slightest. You all chose me for a reason. I don’t need opportunity after opportunity to capture gold.
Seb: This Company desperately wants H20 to become something. It’s like throwing wet dookieshoes at a wall, hoping something sticks.
Shepherd: Montgomery did us a favor last week. I’ve already looked passed Harvey. My focus is Dupree.
Seb: Confidence is good. Just don’t be too confident.
Shepherd: What do you all suggest then??
Cort immediately interjects.
Cort: Don't get kicked in the face.
Shep: Is that all?
Cort: Well, if the ref isn't looking you can squeeze his balls.
Ed: My favourite!
Shep: Can I get something actually useful that doesn't involve H2O's testicles?
Cort: Look, the only real advice I can give is to do what you do best. Don't get caught up in trying to play by somebody else's rules. Take initiative, and don't hesitate, or else you're gonna eat one on the chin.
Seb: Haha, I give that same advice to working girls.
Shepherd: ...Alright?
The camera pans to the entrance, where the door is being banged on frantically. Everyone in the room looks to Seb accusingly.
Shepherd: Late on child support payments?
Seb: I don’t have any that I know of, smart ass.
Ed walks over to the door and pulls too hard on the knob, ripping it off completely. Shepherd Just shakes his head. Ed stares down at the knob as the door is slowly pushed open. Standing in doorway was Troy Smith with a folder in his hand and a dejected look on his face.
Shepherd: Who is this guy?
Seb: Madison’s Jewish lawyer.
Troy: I’m not -
Seb: Jew by default, due to profession!
The Crowd Laughs
Troy: I need to speak with Madison or Dennis. Both of them, preferably.
Shepherd: They had to sit this one out. What you need em for? Cort is in charge.
Shepherd is handed the folder as Troy continues.
Troy: We need all hands on Deck. I’d like to call a meeting of The Crown.
Cort: Who are YOU to call a meeting? You aren’t even a member.
Troy: I keep you all from getting sued by the fans you harass. I keep you all from getting fired over your stunts. Prostitution? On live television?
Cort, Seb, and Shepherd: Allegedly!
Shepherd hands Seb the folder.
Troy: Regardless! I have your best intentions in mind. That’s why Madison has me on retainer, to get you out of bad situations. This? This is a bad situation.
Shepherd: The hell is an ‘Urban Circle’ supposed to mean?
Cort: Isn’t that one of them shows on BET?
Seb slams the folder against the chest of Troy.
Seb: It means that Troy here needs to speak to Madison on his own. It means that Troy here is going to fix this. Let’s go, Shepherd has a match to win.
Shepherd exits the dressing room accompanied by Champions and several prostitutes. Once Left alone, Troy Smith sighs and sits down on the couch.
The camera pans to the announce team.
A bunch of lunatics? this this Diet T.o.P?
Looks Like That Lawyer has his work cut out for him! And you shut your damn mouth! And now in case you missed it! The Top 10 Awesome Moments of The Clash 2018!
The camera pans to the announce team.
Awesome
I dug it!
As Riot rumbles on we cut backstage to Former OCW World Heavyweight Champion of the goddamn World Paul Pugh as he struggles with the remote on his backstage television.
As is traditional, Pugh is standing side on so that the camera can catch both the TV screen and Pugh’s reaction. He’s flicking through channels and looking disgusted at all of the content on the screen.
He flicks, flicks again, and suddenly arrives on a promo for current day saint, and all around s**tbox Kassidy Hayes. As the Vampire (hunter?) World Champion’s promo montage plays, Pugh makes several disgusted faces.
He points at the TV and summons over a member of the production team.
Pugh: Him. Where is he?
The staff member shrugs
Staff Member: I mean. He’ll be in the arena somewhe…
Pugh puts his finger to the man’s mouth.
Pugh: Shut up. I’ll find him.
Pugh throws the remote on the floor and storms out of shot.
