OCWFED.com Presents Riot

   

Previously Recorded

We pan into a High School Auditorium, long tables are set up in 4 rows.

At the head of the formation of tables is a single table with a raffle drum and a large whiteboard set up behind it.

The Whiteboard reads in large letters on the top BINGO

The tables are packed with retired elderly folks, all of them vying to be victorious in a harrowing game of bingo


The camera pans to the entrance, a man hunched over a walker hobbles in.

He’s wearing a bald cap over a mullet wig, a large fake beard, and the trademark Nate Ortiz entrance jacket.

On closer inspection we see its Ryu Matsumoto dressed as Nate Ortiz!


TRASH ORTIZ: The Knights of the Bingo Hall have been summoned!

As Trash Ortiz makes his sudden proclamation, another man walks in behind him. Long crumbled gray hair hang down the back of this man, his eyebrows also grown out and running down the side of his face.

He’s wearing a bathrobe which has been spray painted gold. A small streak of blue hides underneath the large crummy white wig, showing this to be Ijitu Quartz dressed as Tiberius Dupree.


Quartz Dupree: I have arrived! It’s finally time for me to get a meaningful victory! These whippersnappers have been too much to handle for me recently!

Quartz Dupree points at Trash Ortiz

Quartz Dupree: Give me back my Summ...

Before he finishes his statement, he grabs his back. A large chunk of hair falls out and lands on the floor as he screams in pain.

Quartz Dupree: Aghhhh! My back! Now I’m really feeling The Fire… I need some ambition advil!

Another voice is heard shouting from the back of the bingo hall. The camera swings over to see an obvious Rust Cohle with a very tight bald cap and even tighter jeans. A children's medium shirt that reads “Sensayshun” squeezes his torso.

He crab walks into frame waving at Trash Ortiz and Quartz Dupree.


Rust Sensation: You guys! You made it! Dupree you can sit over there… And Ortiz… Oh my!

He saunters over quickly, pushing the elderly out of the way and grabs onto Trash Ortiz’ arm.

Rust Sensation: How is everything? Are you cold? Too hot? Want me to tell them to turn the music down? How are your fluids doing? You need a beverage? Anything you need, you just let me know.

He turns and shouts into the crowd, attempting to clear a path to a very large table.

Rust Sensation: EVERYBODY GET OUT OF MY WAY! DON’T YOU SEE WHO JUST SHOWED UP!? HAVE SOME RESPECT DAMMIT!

Rust Sensation: Trash Ortiz, I’m so sorry anything I can do please just tell me, I’ll do anything I gotta do, just let me know I’m all ears buddy.

Quartz Dupree: Can we get this started already? It’s already 6:30pm... Way past my bedtime!... Wait. Aren’t we missing someone again?

TRASH ORTIZ: Of course not. LuKass Cro.. er, ParKer… er. I forget what his name is. He’s right over there.

Trash Ortiz points directly at an empty chair right next to Quartz Dupree.

Quartz Dupree: Ah! There you are, old timer. You HAVE been there the whole time. For some reason I thought you weren’t going to show up again.

Rust Sensation: Absolutely!

Rust Sensation gestures towards the empty chair and speaks to it.

Rust Sensation: We’re so glad you’re here. Come! Come over here, sit with me and the top dogs at the head of the table right away before the game starts! You’ve certainly earned it!

Quartz Dupree brushes his grey hair out of his face, causing more to fall out as he swallows several multi-colored pills. Trash Ortiz points at Rust Sensation and makes a demand.

TRASH ORTIZ: Sensayshun, hand me my walker, I need to get over there and sit down. And for god sakes, tell them to put on some mid-2000’s emo metal. I’m feeling lucky tonight!

The 3… or 4(?) men sit at the large center table and take a look at the bingo cards they were handed. As the camera backs out of the auditorium, Sensation can be heard screaming at the front.

Rust Sensation: No no no! This will never work… CAN SOMEBODY GET MR. ORTIZ AND MY TABLE SOME MORE CARDS!? I’m so sorry sir…

The bingo announcer walks out from behind the curtain as the auditorium doors close on the camera....

The camera pans to the announce team.

These guys are jackasses!

You are just a hater!

 

The Camera Pans To The Ramp!

The crowd continues to buzz as the One Man Revolution Bobby Minio holds the mic to his face. He teases lowering the mic for a moment, and the crowd responds by beginning to turn, buzzing once again once he raises the mic.

Bobby Minio: Wow, it’s like fake-throwing a tennis ball and watching a dog react!

The crowd begins to turn again, booing his insult, he thinks better of the direction and backs down.

Bobby Minio: Sorry, I couldn’t help myself…

Bobby Minio: So, I guess it goes without saying that… I’ve got some **** to talk about!

The fans pop at the vulgarity, Minio basks in the cheap heat for a moment before continuing.

Bobby Minio: When I went on uh… hiatus… after ‘Lution, I left a healthy, thriving OCW. An OCW populated by rising stars.

Bobby Minio: Hell, credit where credit’s due, Ocean proved to me first hand that a new breed had taken over. I figured, hey, am I really needed here? Or could I maybe duck out for a bit of R&R?

Bobby Minio: I return… to this. Women… dabbing all over the place. My old friends long gone, abandoning me to navigate the backstage area, to celebrate my hard earned victories all by my lonesome.

Bobby Minio: Worst of all, trash, overflowing into the streets. It’s like the garbage strike of 2011, except this somehow smells even worse.

The crowd is familiar with this reference, being that it is local, and they pop accordingly.

Bobby Minio: I’m not here to provide you with YET ANOTHER “I’m gonna save the OCW” speech because, to put it bluntly, who ever does?

Bobby Minio: Faction after faction makes the promise, they’ve wrestled the yoke of the company from Sensation a handful of times, but what has really changed?

He begins to pace around the ring, gesturing with each point he makes with his free hand.

Bobby Minio: The OCW still values all of the wrong people. It provides opportunities long before new talent are ready, much less able.

Bobby Minio: They still stock Nate Ortiz and Tiberius Dupree shirts at each merch booth, despite both men being long gone, only to arrive again when the two of them are ready to dutch rudder each other for the tenth time.

Minio stops facing the hard camera, looking dead center into frame.

Bobby Minio: ENOUGH ALREADY.

He turns and begins to pace again.

Bobby Minio: … and honestly, even as I say that, I’m man enough to admin that it would be better, it would be better than what we have now. A one eyed man, beating Ocean dead center in the ring, clean. Harvey… what happened to you?

Bobby Minio: Seeing that I knew, I knew that I don’t have to come out here and make any lofty promises to save the company, because I have to save the TALENT.

Minio begins nodding, repeating the last statement to himself under his breath.

Bobby Minio: What’s the running joke about me? I don’t get it done? I’m inconsistent in the ring? I’m ALL TALK?

Bobby Minio: The smarks out there on the internet already figured it out on their forums and their fancasts. The issue isn’t about what I FAIL to do in the ring it’s about what I ACCOMPLISH.

He stops, staring back into the camera, over annunciating each word of his next sentence.

Bobby Minio: I. BRING. OUT. THE. BEST. IN. EVERY. OPPONENT. I. FACE.

Bobby Minio: Nobody does it better than me. Nobody has forced rookies and veterans alike to step up their game, overcome the odds, and reach that extra gear in order to beat me, and hell, a handful of them still don’t manage it.

Bobby Minio: Frost. Bones. McGee. Dimsmore. Pu-... hm. They all sit at home, or on their boats or whatever the hell… haunted by the fake that they couldn’t rise to the occasion that is ME.

Bobby Minio: Cobra gave it the ol’ college try. He tried his best, it wasn’t enough. Later on tonight, some soldier is gonna try too, and I’m going to show you all.

Bobby Minio: He’s gonna look like a million dollars against me tonight, or, I dunno, insert whatever dollar amount you think the US Military would have made after seizing countless poppy fields from third world countr-

Minio is interrupted midsentence by a song familiar to baby boomers and OCW fans alike: Cort Marshall strides onstage, mic in hand, to the beat of jefferson Starship. A moment passes as the music fades out and Cort brings the mic to his mouth.

Cort: Hold on a second there, Private. I can stand here and listen to you talk for hours about what and whoever last annoyed you--you can cut all the promos you want about Becky from HR who spilled her coffee on your shirt!

Cort: Or how Insert Legend Here is just sitting around at home grumbling about the state of OCW before they shotgun a bottle of kidney medication--Hell, I might even agree with you. BUT! I won’t have you insulting our armed forces.

Cort takes his American Flag sunglasses off and smiles for the camera, proud of his cheap heat.

Bobby Minio: You can joke Cort but that coffee burned my right breast and Becky needs to watch where the hell she’s walking.

Bobby Minio: … and you… you had better be equipped with a little more than my literal dirty laundry if you’re going to waltz out here dressed head to toe like you’re a Fourth of July themed butt plug, and don’t you DARE take that as a compliment, SARGE.

Cort looks around as the crowd “oooooh” at the third-degree burns he just received.

Cort: Nice try, kid. But I’ve heard so much worse. I’ve SAID so much worse. That’s your problem, Minio, you’re self-centered. The universe, the city of New York, OCW… it all revolves around YOU.

Cort: Everybody’s here to see YOU, everybody’s here to listen to you rant, everybody’s here for the benefit of one Bobby Man Ee Oh. But I’m not so sure.

Cort: See, what’s happened to your old comrades? Your brothers-in-arms? Who’s there for ya, Bobby? Where’s C4?

He makes his way down the ramp and gets up on the apron, leaning on the ropes.

Cort: Oh, that’s right. They changed letters, dropped a number. Dropped you. So you’re out here to prove something. You desperately wish to believe you are all that you say you are. You think OCW needs you. Bobby. I think you need OCW. You need them.

He points out at the crowd.

Cort: Or else you’re just another crazy man in a sweaty shirt with a superiority complex and a hangover.

The crowd fires ooooh’s back in Minio’s direction, who begins to pace around the ring, wincing briefly before nodding, his palm gesturing towards Cort.

Bobby Minio: Okay… alright, that’s certainly better. That stung. I’m man e-nough to admit that. If I’m gonna be real though, with you, the fans and myself, you’re not entirely on the money. See, I left. I do that, I’m a rolling stone and sometimes, I take off.

Bobby Minio: Those people didn’t leave me, they just didn’t leave the door unlocked when I came home. That’s something I imagine many hungover men have experienced, right fellas?

The camera pans to a familiar looking overweight construction worker in the front row, nodding along in a stained wife beater as he knows that situation all too well.

Bobby Minio: Maybe… maybe I do need this.

Minio points down to the ring, before pointing out to the crowd.

Bobby Minio: Maybe I need them too. I know I need them to run out to the merch booths AFTER this little conversation ends, to buy up all of these beautifully crafted, badass One Man Revolution t-shirts!

He pulls at his shirt by the collar, aiming the graphic across his chest towards the camera.

Bobby Minio: … but I find myself wondering, what about you, SARGE? What do you need, what gets you up in the morning? The threat of weapons of mass destruction? Did you hear about my boots before you came out here, and thought you may need to come examine them for yourself?

Bobby Minio: Or, is it the thought that someone within earshot of you is capable of having an identity that’s not drilled into them over and over again before being duped into marching off and, maybe dying all to the benefit of some complete stranger?

The crowd is cooling on Minio at this point, his comments ranging into a territory that is decidedly unfriendly to your average wrestling fan demographic.

Cort gets in the ring, and the crowd gets ready for a confrontation!

Cort: I only need three things, Minio. The title around my waist, my tag partner to go take on P3 on Turmoil… and for you to be on your A-game tonight, so when I put you down for the three, nobody has any excuses.

He grabs Minio’s shirt and they stare each other down.

Cort: Put that on a t-shirt.

He lets him go and spins around, leaving the ring while the crowd cheers. Minio, standing speechless in the ring, watches as Cort walks away, before snapping out of it.

His brow furrows down over his eyes, and in an act of sheer spite, Minio punctuates the moment himself, desperate for the last word. He reaches his hand out, silently dropping the mic to the ring mat.


The crowd begins to buzz again for the main event, as the camera pans toward ring side.

The camera pans to the announce team.

I cant wait!

Soon!

 

The Xtron Flickers On

 

It's a Match!
MUGEN w/DRAGO CESAR
vs
QUARTZ w/RUST COHLE

The camera pans to the announce team.

What a match!

Indeed!

Previously Recorded

We are in a Kasstian Church.

A vast number of Kasstianity worshippers are attending the celebration. Heather Angelo is reading a passage from the Kasstianity bible from her pulpit.


Heather: From the Kasstianity Bible, Chapter 3, verse 104...

Heather: One day, Kass was playing PUBG with his friend Jake

Heather: Jake got shot by some Korean hacker and was about to bleed out

Heather: Kass had level 3 loot and armor… but he risked it all and ran across the map just to save him.

Heather: This passage from the Kasstianity Bible show us that not only Kassidy is a true leader, but also a great friend. Amen.

The Kasstians starts clapping their hands and cheer. Heather then closes the Kasstianity Bible and steps back from the pulpit.

Heather:
If one of you brothers and sisters wants to take the floor, feel free to.

A young girl stands up from her seat and makes her way to the altar.

You can't really tell who she is, since she's wearing a SnapBack and a pair of aviator sunglasses.

But you can easily recognize her voice

Valkyrie:
Hi Heather.

Valkyrie playfully bows and then puts her sunglasses back in her pockets.

The Ghouls instinctively move towards her, but Heather raises her hand and they stop.

Heather: Let her speak.

Valkyrie is now at the pulpit, speaking at the crowd of Kasstians in attendance

Valkyrie: I don't know much about the Kasstianity Bible… but I do know a lot of Fairy Tales. And tonight, I'm going to tell you my favorite one.

Valkyrie: Once upon a time, there was a Princess. She moved in a town called Turmoi… uhm…

Valkyrie: Actually, the town’s name is irrelevant.

Valkyrie: The town folks instantly fell in love with her. She was a ray of Hope in a city filled with criminals, vampires and sociopathic cheerleaders.

Valkyrie: The forces of Evil tried everything they could to take her out… but they all failed.

Valkyrie: The Princess literally buried some of them. Others redeemed themselves to become her allies.

Valkyrie: After a while, she got the attention of the King and the Queen…

Valkyrie turns to Heather.

Valkyrie: They didn't like her either.

Valkyrie: I don't know how this Fairy Tale is going to end. But I know one thing:

Valkyrie: In the end, Heroes always win. And Villains always lose.

She winks at Heather and then leaves the pulpit. The Kasstians are muttering and whispering, as the sound of her footsteps echoes throughout the Church

Heather: Stop right there!

Valkyrie stops just a few steps away from the Church’s entrance. She turns around, to set her eyes on Heather once again

Heather: I haven’t had someone tickle my soul in a long time. Not the way you have….child.

Heather: You think you can lounge around, drop a fairy tale and walk out of the most prominent church in the history of ALL SPIRITUAL DENOMINATIONS?!?!

Heather closes her eyes and then rolls her neck around in a circular motion. The Ghouls turn slowly towards Heather and bow their heads.

The deep and eerie sounds of humming from The Ghouls echoes throughout the church. The flame from all the candles that smother the pulpit burns out.

A cold front blankets the church as Valkyrie rubs both her arms to try to keep warm. She eyes open wide in shock because she can now see her breath.

Heather:
I know your soul feels a divine presence.

Heather: I know….deep down below...through all your perseverance, all your heroism and all your ambition…there is a sneaky little devil that seasons your heart with a dash of fear.

Heather: That little devil is me...Furiosa.

Valkyrie has a look of confusion to her face by hearing the name. She also looks on in astonishment because she never heard two different voices exchange each other in one breath from a human.

Distorted if you will. Robotic perhaps. Who the hell knows...IT’S INHUMANE!!!

Heather/Furiosa:
You and I never met but we will meet very soon. As Kasstianity grows stronger so will we.

Heather/Furiosa: You see...your heart controls the mind. Pretty soon that strong will inside your head will become fragile as long as I keep your heart unsettled.

Furiosa: This will be the last time we ever allow you to walk out of here unscathed.

Heather: Yes, this is the second time we let her go.

Furiosa: Don’t you worry, Angelo. Now that you and I are accepting of each other Valkyrie will be no match for US.

Heather laughs hysterically as The Ghouls starts to clap their hands together in unison. They continue to hum as they lift their heads and turn around.

They start to walk towards Valkyrie as she takes a few steps back. She then runs out of the Church and with that the camera fades to black

The camera pans to the announce team.

These ppl are scary!

You just haven't opened your mind up to Religion!

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