We cut to Justin Jehst’s locker room backstage. A hand knocks on the door, and it opens; Justin surveys his guest as the camera pulls back to reveal Cort Marshall.

 Who - oh hey, Cort, I'm sorry but I'm kinda busy right now… 

Cort: I need some advice, man.

Jehst cocks an eyebrow. 

 I'm surprised. Most people these days are slinging sludge at the Jehst Man because of my supposed lack of decision making skills. 

Cort rubs his bald spot… that spot being his whole head, of course.

 That’s EXACTLY why I need your help. This Capo guy, this strange little malevolent anthropomorphic deli ham… he’s obsessed with you. He hates your ass! And you have no idea why?

Jehst: I mean, you've seen the photo right? But I never touched Gene. I was on my way out of there - - - ah, I don't need to explain myself. Point is, he's impervious to reason. He's relentless. He wants to end me and my career! 

Cort: Well I’m in the same damn situation. You saw the clip, you saw what Shepard did. What in the hell is WRONG with people???

Jehst shakes his head.

 Some people are just wired differently to you and I. They don't have boundaries, they cross lines, they break rules. These types of people are why I ask for my own trailer on set. 

Cort: I know what you mean... seeing this stuff happen on the weekly gets me down. So I’m here to ask, what the hell do I do? What are YOU gonna do about Capo? Cause the way this is going… I dunno. I feel like this won’t end well.

Jehst: I have a date with Capo set for Lution; if he keeps coming after me once I'm done beating him down on the biggest stage of them all then I'll be going outside of OCW for a solution. But I've seen it in his eyes, he's not afraid to push those boundaries. 

Cort: So… will you go that far?

Jehst: As far as I'm concerned, if I beat him at Lution, this is over. The mudslinging, slanderous accusations stop. I get back to my life of film reels and smashed avocado-on-toast brunch dates. 

Jehst walks back into the dressing room, and Cort follows.

 Does that mean they win? Or do they win if they don’t get what they deserve.

Jehst: I think the difference is that I'm still on the cusp of forgiveness. Cap and I had a good thing going. But the more he continues to hurt me and my career, the less I care about hurting him. But really, I just want my friend back. 

Jehst turns back to Cort.

 I guess the simple question is, what do you want? 

Cort stops.

 I… huh.

Cort: Well, I want the pride title. I want crazy people to stop coming after me. I want to wring Shepard's little chicken neck for what he did! And I want… I want people to watch OCW on TV and see the good guys win.

Jehst chuckles.

 How perfectly American daytime TV of you.

Cort: But that’s the problem, Justin. This ain’t GI Joe. The good guys don’t seem to be winning.

Jehst pats him on the back.

 Keep your chin up, we're not in the final scene yet. And look on the bright side… you beat his ass, you get a shot at any title you want. All you gotta do is win, right?

Cort: All I gotta do is win… easier said than done.

Cort shrugs, scratching his chin.

 Yeah. Maybe you’re right. Thanks, Justin.

Jehst: Anytime… except right now, I gotta whiten my teeth and moisturize myself.

Cort gives him the side-eye.

 TMI on the lotion. I’ll see myself out.

The scene ends with Cort leaving as Jehst returns to his movie-star grooming routine.


The Main Event

It's a Match!