OCWFED.com Presents TURMOIL

   

The scene opens to reveal a door with a taped-on sign with the words 'Harri Etiquette' on. Judging from the fairly sloppy taping, it can be assumed that this is a recent development and her sign is probably taped over another, previous sign.

The door opens, and the camera goes inside the room to reveal a small locker room, with Harri Etiquette laying on a pile of cushions on a bench arranged to make it look like a sofa. She's on the phone, and mid-conversation with someone.


Harri: Okay, okay, you can't accomodate that demand? That's fine.But I'm not playing softball here!

Harri: You can tell your boss that I want an official Harri Etiquette locker room- oh! And that nameplate better have all the extra Etiquette, Etiquette, Etiquette's from my theme song!

Harri quickly counts on her fingers.

Harri: Every. Last. Etiquette. I'll be counting! Oh, and also, we need to be prepared for the Harri Etiquette fan convention, we'll need a big space for that, so clear out this backstage area, and I wanna test that BBQ you've put in catering, I don't want my precious fanbase eating some bullsh-

Phone: Ma'am.

As the person on the phone stops Harri, her eyes narrow and she taps her foot impatiently.

Harri: What?! I'm in a flow here.

Phone: This is Papa John's.

There is a moment of pause before Harri launches into her flow once again.

Harri: And whenever I'm not on screen, I want everyone asking 'Where's Harri?', because you know damn well- hello?

The phone lets out a loud bleep, causing Harri to look at her phone to see that the other person had disconnected. She deflates slightly, before kicking one of the cushions off the bench and crossing her arms, irritated.

Harri: Don't even like pizza.

She quickly notices the camera in the room and pivots on her seat to face the camera.

Harri: Oh yeah, they said you'd be coming here, said I've gotta do a segment or something. C'mon, I didn't sit around in my ring gear for nothing, we gotta try and find the others for tonight's match!

Harri bounds out of her seat, sending the cushions flying off the bench, and dashes out of the room, the camera trying to follow her as the segment draws to a close.

It's a Match!

TAG ACTION PLAYA
A.C. COBRA & TELOS
vs.
 
THE WRESTLIN CLUB

The segment opens to reveal International Champion Colin Locke walking down the backstage area, the title draped over his shoulder.

As he walks, his eyes are glancing over the walls inquisitively as if he’s trying to find something on them, but it isn’t long before he’s distracted by something.

The camera pans over to show that he’s spotted Maxx Edwards arriving at the arena, luggage at hand.


Colin: Hey, Maxx, looks like you had a decent show last week.

Colin walks over to Maxx, a knowing smile on his face.

Colin: Hopefully you get another decent showing tonight against Rust, how’re you feeling?

Maxx takes off his Star Shades and stares directly into the eyes of Colin’s International Championship.

Maxx: Feeling pretty good.

Maxx smiles as he puts his Star Shades back on and starts walking dramatically into the distance.

After taking a moment to watch Maxx’s movie-star walk, Colin starts to copy it as he catches up to him and starts talking while they’re both walking.

Colin: You know there’s not a camera in front of you. We’re not on TV right now. Well we are, but not from that angle. Also, there’s no explosion behind us, so we can probably do without the Hollywood walking for a bit.

Colin: After all, you’ve got an important fight, means you’ve gotta bring your best while I watch the TV side-on while craning my neck to the side. Big night.

Maxx sighs as his shoulders drop. He stops in his tracks and Colin follows suit.

Maxx: Alright, so what are ya getting at?

Colin shrugs.

Colin: We’ve both got main events, both gotta find new things to do in our entertaining competition before I defend this title against you. Could think of this as another round, see how you do against Rust, see how I do against H2O. Think of it like a battle of the main events.

Maxx: That would mean that, hypothetically, if I were to win this round, I would be 2-0 up and you would automatically have to forfeit the championship to me right?

Colin: Oh, nah, that’d be too easy. We’d probably have to do more rounds until it ends up as a draw before our match to get that cinematic suspense, I’d have thought you’d know all about that. So what do you say?

Maxx digs into his hair with his hand to think about the proposition.

Maxx: Sounds like a deal to me.

The two shake hands, but by the disgusted look on his face and the distinct squelch sound, it is clear that Colin immediately regrets it. Colin takes his hand away and notices a viscous substance all across it.

Colin: What the hell is this stuff? Oh, jesus, Maxx, don’t tell me-

Maxx: -Hair grease baby! Who the hell shakes hands anymore? The world uses Adobe Sign now.

Maxx walks away, leaving Colin searching for the nearest restroom or bottle of water as the segment draws to a close.

We are greeted by the blinking lights, whirring tape decks and obnoxious beeping noises of the OCW truck. The crew naturally all have headsets on, but on the main console is a volume control that says “JCS.”

For whatever reason it has been removed so the volume level, whatever it may be, cannot be messed with.

The crew seem in good spirits, working on old footage and prepping for the upcoming PPV. Suddenly, the door is ripped open.

Colby McCallum:
 Oh yer arse Jordan, these people ain't going to be mad, hell, I bet that sign saying it’s a closet set is a load o’shite.

From outside, in bursts Colby McCallum, son of OCW legend Aries, and, presumably, outside is Jordan Trance, son of OCW legend Jacob Trance. He dusts his coat down.

Colby McCallum:
 Evening' lads, I’m afraid me baby cousin and I have a little job for ye, but I’ll let ‘im explain.

Seconds later, in comes Jordan, looking a little worried that they’re intruding. He looks around, before asking the question.

Jordan Trance:
 Um, is there any way I can have a look at the footage from back when Judge was attacked after I lost my tag team match? Please?

As the crew direct Jordan to a console Colby pulls out an obscenely large bag of crisps, directly from Ireland, popular brand “Tayto’s” (It’s real.).

He starts opening the bag, making as much noise as humanly possible. The crew and Jordan turn back to Colby, who begins to go to town on his snack.

Colby McCallum:
 ..wot? Fook are ye starin’ at me for? Have ye never seen a man be hungry before?

Jordan mumbles away to himself as he works, ignoring his cousin's deplorable mannerisms. In the background it looks like Colby has seized a Ruben Cigar and a Cuban sandwich from the hapless team. Somehow, he’s also obtained what looks like a bottle of scotch.

He takes a hit, neat, as he’s a man, and begins to hum a well known Irish ditty, The Rising of The Moon. Jordan squints, and leans towards the monitor, from the footage it looks like he’s reached his entrance.

Jordan Trance:
 Good song… Okay, let’s skip a little…

Fast forwarding noises ensue, but Colby is none-the-wiser, now singing.

Jordan Trance:
 Okay so… The dude in the mask… Right, that doesn’t help but I wonder…

Jordan turns to the crew.

Jordan:
 Is there a camera in the backstage area that shows someone taking off a mask?

The crew member nods and removes the tape Jordan had, turning away to the main rack. Colby looks over.

Colby McCallum:
 Wot the fook is that? Is that a mole? When the fook did I get that? Jordan, look at this. Does this look like something? I knew I shouldn’t have went to that Turkish tanning salon in Bursa.

Jordan, ignoring his cousin’s ramblings, receives the tape from the crew member as his cousin takes another hit.

Jordan:
 I actually think so… Okay let’s see…

He inserts the tape and it’s from just after the attack on Judge, showing a large man in a mask ducking into a closet.

Jordan Trance:
 That’s him! He must be getting out of his disguise… Now we just need to wait for the door to open.

Colby, picking at his newly discovered mole, attempts to divert his cousin once more.

Colby McCallum:
 Jordan! Goddamnit, I think I’m dyin’ over here! Actually, this kinda looks like Mark Reese…

Jordan squints

Jordan Trance:
 No he’s definitely way taller than Mark…

Colby, realizing that his diversions aren’t working anymore, crushes the bottle of scotch in his hand, causing the palm of his hand to be covered in blood.

Colby McCallum:
 Goddamnit!

Whilst Colby flails his bleeding hand around frantically Jordan panics, turning his back completely on the terminal. The door to the truck opens in the commotion and a small remote controlled vehicle slinks in.

It’s a miniature monster truck similar to the one that was used in the JackMo vs. Cort Marshall monster truck fight that everyone probably completely forgot about until right now, that’s right, Jordan Trance is monologuing in your brain.

Anyway, the device stops in front of the terminal, and from the back of it comes a grabbing arm. Swiftly, as Colby leers over Jordan’s shoulder, watching it all unfold, the arm reaches up and rips the tape out of the terminal before fleeing again. Just before it disappears we see the license plate that reads “UAE4LYFE.”

Colby McCallum:
 I think I should go get this looked at by a doctor, little cousin. Should be fine, but you know...just in case.

Jordan Trance: No, that’s fine, I understand. I mean I wouldn’t want you to get tetanus or anything, because, oh jeeze, imagine if your jaw locked up and they had to like, break it, or kill you, or whatever it is you do to treat tetanus, what DO you do to treat tetanus?

Jordan turns before Colby can answer and stares at the screen, that now has a “no signal” error message.

Jordan Trance:
 No! What happened?! It was working just a… What? The tape is gone!

Colby McCallum: Oh no! Wot do ye mean the tape is gone? But it was just there!

Jordan thumps the terminal.

Jordan Trance:
 It’s gone! We were so close!

The crew member goes to open his mouth to explain that literally everything is backed up to the OCW Sensational Super Server but a well placed heel to the foot puts an end to that and he opts to just shut up, out of fear for his safety.

Colby McCallum:
 Look, let’s get my hand to a hospital. We can search for the tape later. I don’t really feel like bleedin’ out right now.

Colby stands up and walks out of the production truck as his hand bleeds all over the floor. Jordan, a bit hesitant to leave the scene of the crime of the century, follows his cousin out to help him to the nearest medical facility.

It's a Match!

WELCOME TO 2007
CHRIS BAXTER vs. K'DANGELO

Heather’s “Pure Evil” by Like A Storm hits the PA system. Heather walks out towards the ring laughing to herself. A fan reaches over the barricade with his thumb down booing her. Heather quickly snaps at the fan like a hungry pit bull as the fan leaps back into their seat.

She leans and steps through the ropes at a leisurely pace as a mic is already at hand. Heather walks the perimeter of the ring and raises the mic slowly to begin to speak.

Heather:
All of you please pardon my pure evil intentions towards Mina V at Ladies Night. I could’ve crippled her! But that annoying Blaine came out to save her from me.

Heather: Blaine ghosted since then because she knows she has done me wrong. She saw the look into my eyes and realized the demon is dangerous.

Heather: I assure you she will never cross me again. I hope this isn’t what The Women’s Division has come down to - GHOSTING real competition when it slaps you in the face.

Heather laughs diabolically.

Heather:
Mina V, now I see why you’ve brought my lovely demon back. She has cleared my mind and makes me feel free to do whatever I want, whenever I want to disgusting creatures.

Heather: Unfortunately for you, Furiosa has instructed me to relieve you of your duties because you are no longer needed for your services. Consider this your warning if you decide to try to slow me down.

Heather: Upon my return already I nearly ended your career before it started. The Queen of OCW left her crown with me. Who will be next?

The sound of boos rushes through Heather from every angle. She opens her arms out wide waiting for someone to answer her call.

Holly:
Heather you know, I don’t have many of these but you are a friend. I’ve been on a whirlwind of a run this year, while I’ve been going after my own personal goals I haven’t forgotten about you.

Hurricane Holly Hunter walks onto the stage.

Holly:
Just like you’ve been there for me, I’ve been there for you. Regardless of what’s going on up there.

Holly points to her head.

Holly:
You’ve been there for me. I’m here to let you know that hasn’t changed for me. Whatever you need, I got your back lady.

Furiosa: Perfect Heather. Holly has a weakness of empathy towards you.

Heather: Holly, your spiritual medicine you gave me before that 6 Women Elimination Chamber opened up the door that locks the demon inside me. You’re the reason it was so easy for Mina V to bring Furiosa back.

Suddenly Mina’s voice can be heard over the speaker system and out she walks onto the opposite side of the stage from Holly. Zahir by her side.

Mina V:
Wait just a minute Heather! Or Furiosa, whoever is here right now. The nerve of you to make Holly feel guilty of what she’s done for you. She only tried to help.

Heather looks to her side and smiles as if someone is standing there once again. She looks back to hect Holly in this way.

Mina V:
But I would expect nothing else from the likes of you. That woman in the ring has done so much for this division that you claim is yours now. But newsflash Heather; this is not nor ever will be your division!

Mina V: This division doesn’t belong to anyone. This division was built on a group effort. I may have awakened your beast but that was only to slay it! It must be slain and I will stop at nothing to stop your reign of terror. And I believe Holly shares my sentiment. You may have won the battle at Ladies Night, but you will never ever win the war. It’s not your destiny!

Mina looks to Holly.

Mina V:
Holly, I have your back whether you want me to or not.

With that said Mina drops her mic while grilling Heather. She and Zahir make their exit and head to the back.

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