The scene transitions to that of a dimly lit warehouse. Several cargo crates are stacked on top of each other, along with boxes that have “Fragile” and “Confidential” stamped on them.
Mugen and Drago step into the camera’s view, decked out in dark blue sport jackets. They give the camera a very serious glare, with their hands folded in front of them.
Mugen: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight is not going to be an ordinary P3 Bonanza.
Drago: Is investigation time. We do analysis on one of most mysterious and dangerous thing in OCW history.
Both: THE CUBE!!!!!
Mugen: What is The Cube? How is The Cube? WHO is The Cube? WHERE did The Cube come from?
Drago turns to Mugen with a confused expression on his face.
Drago: I’m thought you make it this Cube.
Mugen wags his index finger like Dikembe Mutombo.
Mugen: I am a creative genius, but unfortunately I did not invent The Cube old sport.
Drago: Then who did?
Mugen points to the camera with a smirk on his face.
Mugen: Watch the totally not dramatized footage and find out…..
The scene then pans over to the snowy mountains of the Himalayas, with one man making the slow hike. The top left of the screen shows the text “DRAMATIZATION”.
The camera zooms in to reveal a very vaguely looking Asian man looking very vaguely like Mugen; the only way you can really tell is through his Purge (angry panda) face paint. The real Mugen narrates while the scene is proceeding.
Mugen: Reports from my fellow Purge dummies showed some kind of strange activity up in the Himalayas. I didn’t really care at first and I told them that I had better things to do, but the more I thought about it…..The more I realized that I could be ignoring something that could help me usurp Our Hero!
“Mugen” hikes up the mountain and finds something quite interesting; a gigantic glass cube encased with some sort of ancient hieroglyphics.
Mugen: From what I could decipher, the hieroglyphics date back to the ancient Mayans. It was used to trap prey or for interrogating their enemies.
“Mugen” puts his hands on his hips and laughs diabolically as he thinks about all the evil things he could do with The Cube.
“Mugen”: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! OH NO!!!!
Since The Cube was perched at the very top of the mountain, the force of “Mugen” ‘s evil laugh causes The Cube to tip over and start sliding in his direction. “Mugen” bumps face first into one side of The Cube and sticks to it as it slides down the mountain.
The scene transitions to sometime later, with “Mugen” standing outside The Cube while some buff blond guy is trapped inside The Cube.
Mugen: Remember that one time you were in The Cube?!?!?!?! Wasn’t it fun?!?!?!
Drago: That supposed to be me?
“Drago” stands up from his seated position and bangs his fists against the side of The Cube opposite “Mugen”.
“Drago”: Die Mugen! You don’t belong in this world!
“Mugen”: It was not by my hand that I am once again given CUBE. I was called here by DUMMIES who wish to pay ME TRIBUTE!!!!
“Drago”: Tribute?!?!? You take people’s souls in this cube and make them your slaves!
“Mugen”: Perhaps the same could be said of all federations….
The footage stops.
Drago: I’m don’t remember saying this. I’m also don’t remember have perfect English.
Mugen: Come to think of it…..
The flashback moves back to “Drago” now look like a cowboy with chaps, cowboy hat and a strong mustache to complete the look.
“Drago”: Now I reckon you are the one who steals souls. Tarnations I’m going to get ya Moogen when I get out of this dangnabit cube of yours.
The footage stops again to come back to current day Mugen and Drago.
Drago: Wat? Why I John Wayne?
Mugen: I don’t know, I kind of just pictured you in that time you know……..before you became…….you
Drago: I don’t recall any of this.
Mugen: It’s okay, let’s continue the story.
The footage continues again this time with a out of shape man in a muscle suit looking very similar to Mr. Sensation.
Mugen: Remember that one summer when we injected Our Zero with THE SERUM and we kept him locked up in THE CUBE!
Drago gasps.
Drago: I do remember.
“Mr. Sensation”: I’ll get outta here you stoopid mothafudger. OOOOO ILL GET OUT YOU BELEE DAT.
“Mugen”: Yea yea, sure sure. Gonna fight me bla bla bla but guess WHAT. I OWN OCW.
“Mugen” pats the OCW World Heavyweight Championship that is around his waist.
“Mugen”: I OWN THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE WORLD AND I DEFEATED YOUR PRECIOUS
The flashback cuts to present day Drago.
Drago: Hey wait second. You beat me that summer.
Mugen looks around pretending not to hear what Drago just said as the flashback continues.
“Mugen”: I RULE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
“Mugen” starts cackling as The Cube starts to strobe to the frequency of Mugen’s laugh.
The footage cuts and we come back to present-day.
Drago: So where cube now? Was it destroy?
Mugen chuckles.
Mugen: Oh old sport, I would never destroy the finest imprisonment device known to man. Even after all the good in my heart, there is always an individual or group deserving to be placed in THE CUBE.
Mugen pulls out a map out of his pocket that resembles the map from Minecraft.
Mugen: See, we placed The Cube here right between Luxuria and Stone City.
Mugen snaps his fingers as a flashforward footage starts to roll. We see Mugen and Drago restraining what look like to be Spider and Matsuda. Except Spider looks to have two eye patches on both of his eyes and Matsuda looks like a dopey Skrillex impersonator.
Mugen: After a vicious battle that transcended time, space, culture, universes, galaxies, worlds, pixels and MORE. The Platinum Platonic Partners were VICTORIOUS in defeating the Trashlings and place them into THE CUBE for eternal imprisonment.
Both present-day Mugen and Mugen in the dramatization start cackling in unison.
Drago: Wait, does that mean………..
Mugen: Yes…….it means that…….
Drago and Mugen both stare at the camera.
Mugen: RYU!
Drago: MATSUDAAAaaaaaAAAAAaaaAAAAAA!
Together: TTT! We challenge you!
Drago: Battle For Time! And Space!
Drago puts up two fingers at the camera.
Drago: 2!
Mugen: Electric Boogaloo!
P3 spontaneously combust into dust but they leave behind a banner with The Wrestlution Logo and two emoji hands pointing at it.
The Camera Pans To The Announce Team!
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This is madness and I love it! |
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This is INSANITY! |
2 OUT OF 3 FALLS
PAUL PUGH vs DOC GREEN*
The Camera Pans To The Announce Team!
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He got it, he got it! |
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Oh my god! |
