| |
|
The sun is bright and the sky is beautiful as a camera fades on to show a Boeing 747 landing at an airport. As the plane disappears behind the building, the camera turns over to show a sign with "Tijuana Airport" plastered on it. The camera then switches view to show Trisha Waldrop getting off the airplane that had recently landed, the wind blowing her hair around wildly. She is wearing a black top tucked into a dark red skirt and high heels. As she reaches the bottom of the landing stairs, the camera once more switches scenes. This time, Trisha is meeting up with a driver who is holding a sign with her name on it. He and the few technicians that Trisha brought with her load her bags into the trunk of the car as she hops into the backseat of the 2014 Nissan Armada. As they finishing loading the bags, the technicians and driver enter the car themselves before the camera once more fade out.
As the camera cuts on once more, we are looking out of the window into the beautiful neighborhoods around Tijuana. The beautiful white and faux-gold, three story mini-mansions continue to pass by as the vehicle continues moving forward when suddenly the scene goes from really beautiful to really terrifying as the SUV takes a sharp right. The buildings take a drastic turn as they turn into old and run-down wooden buildings, almost each one surrounded in a wall of even worse wood and barbwire fences. After several moments, we heard the driver say something and then the camera fades out.
Trisha Waldrop (unmic'd) : Are we good? Subtitles ready? Good, good. This neighborhood terrifies me a bit so let's hurry.
The camera cuts on once more to show Trisha standing with a microphone in hand beside the SUV, a smile on her face. She waits a few moments to make sure everything is functioning before speaking.
Trisha Waldrop: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Trisha Waldrop here with the latest edition of "In Your Crib", this week with none other than OCW's new, almost impressive, "King of the Jungle", King Tyga.
As the group goes to move from behind the vehicle and towards one of the houses, they suddenly duck as several gun shots can be heard going on. The cameraman is bold and peers over the vehicle to show two young kids, no more than at least 5, in King Tyga styled masks, one in nothing more than a diaper while the other is in a small white t-shirt and shorts. Behind them follows a much older man, maybe in his 60s. He has on faded jeans and a grey t-shirt with sweat stains in various places and a revolver in his hand. He takes a few more shots towards the kids before yelling something as he turns back towards the house from whence he came.
? ? ? : Y maldito niños a mantenerse fuera de mi jardín!
(And you damn kids stay off my garden!)
The camera man ducks back down as Trisha looks into with a very nervous look.
Trisha Waldrop (unmic'd) : Can . . . can we come back to this?
Trisha places her hand over the camera and pushes it downward as the cameraman cuts it off.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Live from Kansas City!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
 |
Good evening ladies and germs, its time for another edition of RIOT! |
 |
Time to hoist the colours yet? |
|
Maybe soon. |
As the show kicks off, we have 75% of Overness Meets Greatness standing mid ring. Unfortunately you missed their spectacular entrance while you were getting words from our sponsors. Your loss!
Patolomai, Tiberius Dupree and Matsuda interact with the fans a bit before the hard camera zooms in. Neither Madeline nor Minami are present, Dimsmore is still recovering from his minor injuries. Tibby holds what looks like a golden mic, Matsuda of course has more gold than Mr. T visiting Fort Knox.
Pato last week brought OMG back to the real world with a well placed summit. Things between Matsuda and Dupree haven't completely kosher, but have been reduced to minor bickering and pranks. Don't expect Pato to say anything, as he feels the odds are already in OMG's favor, no words needed. Betterness doesn't feel the same way and breaks the cheers...
Dupree: Self absorbed metrosexual over-rewarded underachievers!
The crowd gives a mixture of boos and laughs.
Dupree: That's what Boobie Minio said about us....
Matsuda interrupts.
Matsuda: It's Bobby, not Boobie.
Dupree: That's what I said, Boobie.... he's got mammary glands where his manhood should be, so it's Boobie, right?
His arch rival and close ally cracks a classic half smile of his own as the crowd laugh in unison.
Dupree: More comedy eh? OCW isn't serious anymore because OMG likes to have a good time, because we like to wear ridiculous outfits and dance like Kevin Bacon in Footloose? Seriously don't you think this place is boring enough with singlet suplex slams, angry black men and recycled factions with empty promises of saving OCW from themselves?
He pauses for a second curling his curl he continues.
Dupree: No need to answer those questions because it's obvious, without Overness Meets Greatness, C4 wouldn't exist. Which means if OMG didn't have a gigantic self absorbed metrosexual over-rewarded underachieving scrotum to hang from, the members of C4 would fall into the depths of obscurity in a heart beat.
Dupree: So how does it feel Boobie? To join a group of individuals who's entire existence hinges on the scrotum of a sissy? A sissy with four fingers straight up Mother Nature's blue Sundress, a sissy sly enough to slide an ace up Lady Luck's sleeve.
He looks straight into the hard camera with fiery eyes.
Dupree: A sissy talented enough to walk out of Wrestlution 7 with both the OCW World and International Championships. A sissy who beat the great Franchize Nate Ortiz himself in the center of this very ring. A sissy who's put this company on his back EVERY DAMN DAY for 3 years straight and counting!
He switches the golden mic to his off hand, really getting into it.
Dupree: So if a sissy made of undeniable betterness like myself can accomplish all that, plus so much more, what on God's green earth does that make you Boob? What does that make Mugen, or your beloved assistant manager Paul Pugh?
Matsuda looks at his imaginary watch as Tibby rambles on.
Dupree: I tell you exactly what that makes C4, it makes you all a bunch of bitch made mongoloid vassals of mediocrity! Our esteemed champion isn't the only one following Leon's blueprint to recycled ideals and logic. Wasn't there a group a few years back claiming to be Agents of Chaos, hell bent on changing OCW by any means necessary, what were they called again...
As Tibby pretends to search for the name, the crowd instantly chant "LOTUS".
Dupree: Help me out here Hideto?
Suda rolls his eyes and snarls a reply.
Matsuda: LOTUS you pleb.
Dupree: Oh yeah, LOTUS. And didn't they go to war with some rookie who never gave up the good fight no matter the odds? A rookie no matter how many times he got beat down and jumped, no matter how many times he lost matches and opportunities? What was his name again...
The crowd begin "Tibby" chants, he cracks his classic half smile.
Dupree: Oh yeah, it was me. THE FIRE, THE BETTERNESS. One fourth of the comedy act known as OMG. That's right, one fourth, I'm just one side of the omnipotent Obelisk, a portion of our gargantuan Greatness. See this is why I have the time to beat Matsuda silly with foam swords, because I know Dims, or any of us can handle our own business without holding each others hands...
Dupree: For Christ sake it took all three of you to take out one solitary member of OMG. Three weak minded carbon based life forms BARELY injuring one Father of Ambition, now that's what I call comedy.
That same fiery look returns as spittle hits gold.
Dupree: But what won't be so funny is when I strap Mugen in a modified Kimora lock till I hear a satisfying pop. And It won't be a laughing matter when Dimsmore finds out where Minio's loving family lives.
Dupree: Or Patolomai decides to show up for breakfast one lovely morning. And let's not even comprehend what Matsuda finds funny in that devilish mind of his...
Matsuda: Well, you know how much I like games, Dupree. Let's play a game.
Dupree: You want pray game?
Matsuda: Humor me. Hold on. Hold on. Who am I?
Our Villain dishevels his immaculate ebony locks, and twists his face into a hideous, tired expression.
Matsuda: [in a faux féminine cockney accent] Oi m8s me and me villainous m8s is gonna take ova the OCW with last weeks puro angles!
Dupree rubs his chin in thought before perking up with an answer.
Dupree: Prince Devitt?
Matsuda: He wishes! Lets try again.
The dear leader squints his eyes to near racist levels.
Matsuda: I am the Lord of the Lariat! Contrary to my repulsive jaundiced, yellow skin, I am not a blank traffic sign. In fact, I am the premier Chines--Japanese wrestler in this company! Also I wear dresses from time to time…
Dupree shrugs.
Matsuda: Oh come on! You walked all over him for like, two months!
Dupree: Must have been sleep walking.
Matsuda: Okay okay, one more.
Matsuda lets his hair fall in front of his face, doing his best impression of a 40 year old teenager.
Matsuda: The revolution will be televised! Oh, hold on…
Matsuda lays on the ground, Tibby goes for the cover and ref Pato does a three count. Dusting himself off, Matsuda stands to his feet once more.
Matsuda: Like I said! The revolution is now! Wait, one second…
Matsuda lays back on the ground, allowing himself to be pinned once more.
Dupree: That ones easy! Jobby Minio!
The crowd burst into laughter at the One Man Revolution's expense, a "Jobby" chant breaks out and takes some time to settle.
The Eternal Super Junior Triple Crown remains on the floor, but sits up, indian style facing the hard camera.
Matsuda: But all jokes aside. Because thats how you like it right?
Matsuda: The reason we in OMG tend to butt heads is because we've already butted heads with the rest of this malnourished roster. We can take it. We are stronger than them.
Matsuda: Stronger because we were forged in the fires of a show that nobody watched. We fought our way on to Wrestlutions and clawed our way onto the main roster. Never faltering. Never taking a break. Vowing to spit, snarl, kick and bite to make it to this point, by any means necessary.
Matsuda: Soon what started as a little sand castle on Ambition became something more. The sand became concrete and was transformed into this obelisk. So that even a newcomer could look down on a legend.
Matsuda: Nothing given, everything earned. And when I EARNED my title shot Jobby, I took this belt and made it mine. Now these people couldn't imagine this belt on anyone else!
The crowd pops.
Matsuda: Iron sharpens iron, and C4, you are tin foil.
Matsuda stands to his feet, a devilish glint in his eye.
Matsuda: So bring your revolutions. Bring your armies. Greater men have come before you and greater men have fallen to the wayside. Just know that when all this is said and done, and you're licking your wounds at the wayside on the boulevard of broken dreams, I hope you have learned this:
Matsuda: You don't tug on superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. And you DAMN sure don't get on the tracks unless you can stop the train.
Dupree: So be glad we dance, parade our egos around and generally make life more fun for everyone in OCW. Because believe me you won't enjoy the alternative.
As he did weeks ago he pretends to drop the mic, put quickly picks it back up.
Matsuda: Come on man, this promo is taking longer than Mugen's climb to the midcard.
Dupree: Oh and Boobie, until OUR Hero gives you one of these...
He points to his fully functional Gold Microphone he was awarded at the 9 Year Anniversary Show.
Dupree: Your nobody on the mic.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The camera pans to the announce team.
|
Strong words there from OMG. Strong... confusing, racist words. |
|
They be trippin', C4 aint takin this sheez |
|
...and we're moving on. |
We're at a local hole in the wall bar called the "Rusty Tap" here in KC. Which means we can only be in the elegant presence of Betty Ford, Eerie Sunshine and OCW Bombshell Champion Anna Mosity. This time the bar and the faces of the patrons are actually intact. The duo sit at the bar, so drunk their completely sober.
Anna Mosity: How you gonna book us for a match then ban us from the arena. What kinda ass backwards sh*t is that?
Eerie Sunshine: Heard through the 'vine we facing them at Road 2 Glory, bigger payday.
She calls for another drink.
Anna Mosity: Dat means that Lindsay ho has something sneaky sh*t planned. We gotta watch our backs, 'specially after last week.
Eerie Sunshine: I think all that power is going to that bitch's head.
Anna Mosity: Yeah well-then we need to break that bitch's head then don't we...
Eerie just nods vigorously and the two tap their glasses as the camera fades.
AC Cobra vs Sherwood Jameson
Somewhere in an empty locker room we join Jacob Trance, sitting alone. Scattered across the floor are pieces of tinfoil and leather strap, the remnants of his attempt to create another tinfoil title. Adorning the ceiling are numerous coat hangers, his eyes have a far off look as he stares at a potted plant with intense suspicion. He rises and throws a discarded hot dog at it, the porcelain defeats the "beef" and he is satisfied.
There's a knock at the door, and Trance pays it no heed, chewing the inside of his mouth. The knock comes again, this time sharper, the door opens and from stage right enters Jim Black.
Jim Black: Jacob could we get a...
Jacob rises, placing a finger across Jim's lips, silencing him.
Jacob Trance: Sssh...They're listening...
Jim blinks as Trance moves his finger and shuffles back towards the chair, sitting down.
Jacob Trance: You're probably wondering what the coat hangers are for... It's because he's a General, he can see me, he has drones in the sky, hell, you're probably wearing a wire...
Jim settles down across from Jacob, before asking his question. In the corner, just in camera frame is a back ski-mask.
Jim Black: Jacob... Tonight you face...
Jacob Trance: Tonight I face my most dangerous opponent to date. A man who... Who would murder his own family just to be able to use a urinal like a normal human being.
Jacob claps his hands together, pleased with his joke.
Jacob Trance: You probably think I'm crazy... But that's not how it is, I've just never been normal, that wouldn't be being me... You see, I'm special, anointed... Here to open the eyes of the ignorant, but I can also be a nobody, a bum, a tramp... I'm also a straight razor if you get too close to me.
Jacob rubs at his eye.
Jacob Trance: Tonight isn't a match, tonight isn't about making a point... The real strong have no need to prove it to phonies and the wolf loses not sleep over the opinion of the sheep. Now get out, and no... I won't have remorse for what I do tonight, you people have done EVERYTHING to me, does that not give me equal right?
Jim goes to carry on but Jacob bulrushes him, knocking him spread eagled onto the floor, a crazy, livid look in his eyes.
Jacob Trance: I SAID GET OUT!
Jacob screams his words and Jim scrabbles to his feet and bolts out of the door, leaving Trance alone, muttering and laughing to himself. |
|
 
 
|
|
|
