Welcome to episode 467 of The Longest Weekly Episodic E-Wrestling Show on the Planet Earth!
AND MARS!
We have a jam packed show for you tonight!
Just one week before Wrestlution 11 Bidness is bout to pick up for sure!
Camera Pans To The Ramp!
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Leon Valentine: Did you miss us?
The crowd boo as the two dookieshoest, lowlife, scumbags east of the Mississippi stand in the center of their ring.
Gentleman Jack: They sure did Leon, god this place has sucked without us.
Leon and Jack fist bump one another.
Gentleman Jack: Oh come on, you're not still mad at us for what we did to Versus are you? Oooohhhh boohoo!
Gentleman Jack:
We killed a Hall of Famer! Whhhaaaa we killed God! Don't shed any tears for him of people. Versus is the original scumbag! He KNEW it'd end this way someday.
Leon Valentine: That's right Jackie boy! If anybody should be mad, it's us. We have been locked away in some shit show in central asia for months! Prison changes a man damnit! Now Jack, it's time to unleash Armagaddon."
Gentleman Jack: Armageddon? You sure you don't mean Armageddon buddy?
Leon Valentine: Shut it Jack. I been locked up for that long I forgot how to say a few words, alright?
Gentlemen Jack: That could be a serious health issue Leon. We should make sure you at least remember the important stuff! Leon, how do you spell... God killer?
Leon: Thats easy Jack. L E O N! Yes sir!
Jack: I think you mean G E N T L E M A N J A C K.
Leon: What? You just dinged him up! I pulled the plug!
Jack: What?! I ran him over with a truck! All you did was pull a little plug! I turned my back on all of my friends, my beliefs, and a nice view of Sophia's ass! All you did flick your wrist! You miserable twat! They all warned me about you!
The two men who've spent months locked in a cage together now lock their eyes in a fit of rage. Both men shove each other as they yell off mic. Jack rears back to take a swing as Leon dares him to try. Just before the punch lands Gentleman Jack and Leon begin to laugh at the crowd. Rubes.
Dueling “You Suck” and “Versus” chants start to break out.
Gentleman Jack: He's dead you kumquats! You hear me?! DEAD!
Leon Valentine: "So get over it already you idiots!"
The boos are only getting louder.
Leon Valentine: So there we were! Locked away in purgatory. But you know what? Not even the baddest prison in the world could keep us contained! Not only did we escape, no, no! We took jail as an opportunity! We decided to bring ourselves back a little trophy.
Gentleman Jack: That's right, that stupid monk priest that abducted the two of us in the first place! You know how I feel about asians! Good at math! Hardworkers! Loyal! Intelligent! It's enough to make me puke!
Leon Valentine: Its ok Jacky boy. He's in good hands. He's back in that locker room as we speak while our new best friend, Mr. Luther Briggs reads him his rights."
Gentleman Jack: We better go and check there is still something left of him Leon. He hasn't had his meds in days. And I think I forgot to feed him. I also don't know if we ever found his pants...
Leon: Sod it. So to cut it short, we're back and we're going to F**K S**T up!!! Later losers!
Jack: Yeah! What he said! Douchenozzles!
Jack gives flicks his hand under his chin in a sign of disrespect as Leon and Jack drop the microphones and head backstage.
The camera pans to the announce team.
A bunch of god dam degenerates those two!
Why are you so dang rude?
It's the night of Riot 467, Cole Kappa finds himself in a now familiar position backstage before his match with Charles Young, next to OCW Interviewer Jim Black. As per usual Cole Kappa has his arrogant aura about him, and the two are clearly not very fond of each other. But despite that, Jim Black asks his first question.
Jim Black: Mr.Kappa, since joining the OCW you have gotten yourself on quite the roll as of late, capturing an impressive victory over former champion Anthony Baker on last weeks Riot. How're you feeling coming into tonight's match against OCW veteran Charles Young?
Cole Kappa responds with a rather confused look on his face
Cole Kappa: Who?
Jim Black responds just as confused
Jim Black:....Charles Young? he's been here quite a while, and he's incredibly skill-
Cole cuts him off abruptly
Cole Kappa: Shut up.
Cole Kappa quickly walks off to go prepare for his match against an opponent he didn't even know existed, leaving Jim Black standing there alone with a frustrated look on his face. The camera soon cuts back to the action taking place in the arena.
The camera pans to the announce team.
A quite full of himself Cole Kappa takes on the returning Canadian Maple King, not named Dupree.
