The Road to Certified Greatness 2018 is almost here!
We have a great show for you tonight!
Everyone is here, LETS GO!
Earlier Today
Everyone has their sanctuary, for some it’s the gym, for others it may be a church or holy place of some kind. But for me, Your Beloved Betterness and OCW Lightheavyweight Champion Tiberius Ocatavian Dupree, it’s Rafael’s Beauty Salon in Chelsea, Manhattan.
Sure Rafael himself was as mediocre as they come but his salon staff is the best in the business and their service top notch.
As I sit here relaxing they rinse my glorious mane I can’t help but think about last week.
How that piss puddle who calls himself H2O had the nerve to infiltrate my Fortress of Bettertude. How he forced me to moonwalk in my own damn home. The boy has no “chill” as the kids say these days.
Glory be to Kneesus that I can find peace of mind in my home away from home…
Beautician: Excuse me sir but you’re not….
What’s all that damn noise, they better not have ran out of Maple conditioner again.
Beautician: Sir...sir... we are with another client can you please….
WHAT!!!! Why is he here! This freaking can’t be! Let me rub my eyes pinch myself, is this a freaking nightmare! No it’s not, H2O is in my sanctuary! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!
H2O: Ah ha! So this is where you come to spot a giraffe in a concrete jungle!
Dupree: Are you mentally disabled? Why are you freaking here!?
H2O: Harvey is glad you asked. He’s been playing Pokémon Go! It says that H2O can find Girafarig here in this salon. You fit the description very well.
H2O: Long eyelashes, uhhh big nose, and unnaturally long golden mane.
H2O: If H2O have to fight in this...Pokémon arena you call a salon he will.
Dupree: No! No! No! Rafael isn’t a ref, this salon ain’t Certified Greatness and I don’t have to accept your constant hovering! Now get LOST pleb!
H2O: Umm, Pleb? I’m sorry is that giraffe talk? I thought horses sound like that? Plllleeeebblblblblblbl.
Dupree: Fine, want me to fight! Get your little boyfriend and lets make this a party, I’ll knee you, him and Dims into the freaking sun, but as for a one on one you gotta wait for Sunday pleb.
H2O: Always trotting away from me like a horse and giraffe would. The only difference is H2O is going to lead this horse to the water AND make him drink it….Pleb!
Sigh, he’s finally gone. Now I just need to find a partner, there is no way I’m taking on that green as goose dookie shoes team alone, I won’t make it to CG. Hmmmm….who should I call.
The camera pans to the announce team.
WHO CAN HE CALL?
No one is non mediocre enough. Is the time line still active? Can Dupree Summon Future Dupree from the Past to help currentr Dupree fight the Puddle that is H20? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF OH CEE DOUBLE U!!!!
Stacey Clarke is Backstage.
SC: Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome at this time, Rust Cohle.
SC: Rust, What was going through your..
Rust stops her in her track and snatch the mic off.
Rust: Yeah yeah yeah.. I know what you wanna know.. Why did I do this to Jookie blablablablabla..
Rust:First thing, you need to thank me. Yeah don't you look at me like that. Where was Jookie last week ? Huh ? Probably still at a nearby hospital, watching the show or something.
Rust: But since I took him out, he is nowhere to be seen.. And I think a lot of people want to thank me for that. They are just too scared to do it.
SC: Hum you do know that later tonight, I'll conduct an in-ring interview with Marley and..
Rust: Yeah I heard the rumors.. Well, if he can make it to the segment.. If I was him, I'd be more clever than that. He knows what I am capable of by now. But I'll be watching.
Rust:
Now if you'll excuse me, I got a match and a performance to give to the world. You better be watching.. That also goes for you, Jookie.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Man is that kid full of himself!
I hope he packed a light lunch because he is taking on Bunny M! and its NEXT!
Rust Cohle vs Bunny M.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Wham, Bam, thank you, Sam!
Right in the bread basket!
The Leg Kick Connoisseur, The Frontman of the FlipCutter, Son of Trash Time, and The OCW Champion, Kassidy Hayes is walking through the backstage hallways making his way to the TTT Locker room as he does every week.
Kassidy pushes the door open and makes his way to his pop up locker, as he does he unclasps the OCW Championship from his waist and sticks to the side of the locker that has a mounting hanger for championships.
Kassidy takes a seat in TTT branded Clutch chair and wheels himself over to his locker. He begins getting ready for tonight's main event, removing his suit and hanging it in the locker,
Kassidy now sits in his boxer briefs continuing to get ready by taping his left hand heavily, much heavier than the usual.
The Camera pans to the left awkwardly showing that Ryu Matsumoto, in his muscle suit, has been standing with his arms folded this whole time.
One of the Agents for the evening opens the door and walks into the room. Before he can say or do anything, Ryu gets right in front of the agent.
RYU: HEY BRO! CAN I HELP YOU BRO?!
The agent looks confused, he looks around the room trying to figure out what’s going on.
Agent: Umm, I’m here to talk to Kass about his match tonight.
RYU: LET ME SEE SOME CREDENTIALS BRO!
The agent hands Ryu his plastic ID card and Pass. Ryu holds it up to his good eye for a moment, and then to his closed eye.
RYU: Hmmmmmmmm CLEARLY FAKE BRO!
Ryu snaps the ID card in half and ushers the Agent out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
He then resumes his post as Kass finishes getting geared up.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Oh for the love of god. THOSE AREN'T REAL MUSCLES!
You trying to say Ryu doesn't lift bro? What's wrong with you? Bro?
