OCWFED.com Presents Riot

   

LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

 

The camera pans to the announce team.

Welcome to Riot Episode 503!

JUST LIKE OUR WEBSITE!

.......................

We have a great show for you tonight! So lets get right to it!

We pan back to the locker room area and see H2O sitting off to himself. H2O begins to unpack his ring gear.

With no Baker or Dimsmore around, it seems that he will be heading into this main event match with TTT solo. Even with that in mind, he seems as calm and stoic as ever. 

H2O’s phone rings and he deliberately checks the caller ID before answering it. By the look on H2O’s face, the person on the phone seems to be talking a mile a minute.


H2O: Listen, listen listen. You need to slow down. 

H2O: You did very well out there last week….

H2O: No, no, no. It’s ok. You made H2O proud. That’s how you have to send a message to OCW….

H2O: Good things is going to come out of this, Harvey promises. You will not be harmed as long as he is around.

H2O: Just sit back, relax and enjoy tonight’s Main Event. Harvey’s foot been itching to take the heads off of Ryu Matsumoto and that so called “De-railer” Kassidy Hayes for sometime.

H20: Even if he has to do it by his lonesome.

H2O: Wait...H2O smells New Country.

H2O puts his phone away and turns his attention towards a new name to OCW. It’s Maxwale Jaykub Freeman.

H2O looks him up and down. 

H2O:
 May H2O help you with something?

MJF: Well if it isn’t the OCW Light Heavyweight champion, Harvey Ocean.

MJF: Please allow me to introduce myself.

MJF: My name is Maxwale Jaykub Freeman. 

H2O: Lemme repeat myself.

H20: May H2O help you with something?

MJF: Funny you should ask that my friend.

MJF: Because it seems like I should be the one asking you that question. 

MJF: You see….

MJF pulls up a chair next to H2O and casually sits down.

MJF: The thing is with that word “help"…. It’s one of those things.

MJF: It’s something that people from time to time will really need it. Cause if they don’t have it that’s why they need it.

H2O gives MJF a bit of a screw face after that ridiculous comment.

H2O: What the hell you just say?

MJF: You are tough cookie to crack. Look, in the simplest of terms, all of your B2O compadres have abandoned you.

MJF: And you are on the hook for a handicap match tonight against TTT. 

MJF: Now you can continue to be your stubborn self and head out there solo against Ryu and the OCW champ Kassidy Hayes. Or…….

MJF stands up from his chair. He slaps himself on his shoulders like he’s readying himself for a lockup.

MJF: You can have the privilege of teaming with the most technically gifted light heavyweight to ever set foot in OCW, Maxwale Jaykub Freeman.

MJF: What do you say Harvey?

MJF extends his hand for a confirmation handshake to H2O. Harvey takes a couple steps forward and is just staring at MJF. Then he looks down at his hand and back to his eyes.

H2O: H2O likes the smell of this New Country that is standing before him.

H20: He has to make one thing clear though that you never speak of his friends like that ever again.

H2O: They haven’t abandoned Harvey.

H20: Secondly, it takes guts to offer your help for someone on the bottom rung in this division.

H20: You’re about to step into the ring with the best this division has to offer…..

H2O: Are you ready?

MJF: A person the caliber of Maxwale Jaykub Freeman does not need to “get ready”.

MJF: Bottom rung to top of the heap, one thing is always and abundantly clear.

MJF: That my name is Maxwale Jaykub Freeman.

MJF: And I’m better than “insert lightheavyweight’s name here” and they know it. 

MJF: From Kass, to Ryu….. to even you Harvey. (Laughs)

H2O: (Smiles) You talk with familiarity. The Good Light is attracted to folks with such confidence. Until then show us something.

H2O taps his title that rest on his shoulder and gives MJF a nod. The camera fades back to the ring.

The camera pans to the announce team.

Wait did MJF just offer to help H20?

Have you not been listening?

 

[Pre-recorded]

The camera cuts to the facade of a church, the sign out front reading “Peter’s Ministry.” Cort Marshall walks frame, and points at the door. 

Cort:
 Welcome to Cort Marshall’s Diners, Drive-ins and Places of Worship.

Cort: Today we’ll be taking a look at our very own OCW member Pastor Peter’s little home-baked establishment, and I’m rubbing my psalms in anticipation!

Cort: Now let’s not waste any time, let’s get in there!

Cort hurries up to the door and pushes it open a little too hard.

The door swings back and slams against the inside wall… and the congregation inside look back in surprise.

The cameraman follows and captures Cort, the congregation, and Peter up at the pulpit, all staring at each other in silence.

...

Cort:
 I need a blessing!

The Pastor coughs.

Peter:
 Nice of you to join us this fine day, Mr… ?

Cort: You don’t know me?

Cort: Come on, rookie, get with the program!

Cort: I’m your sergeant, Cort Marshall!

Cort: And I’ve got a big biiiiiig day coming.

Cort: Bigger than Elvis!

Cort: Bigger than the rapture!

Cort: Bigger than the arms of Korean Jesus, hoo-ah!

Peter: That’s several types of blasphemy, but now I recognize you. What, exactly, did you interrupt my sermon for?

Cort: Like I said. Why did the Blues Brothers beat the Illinois Nazis? Because they were on a mission from god!

Cort: So if I want 100% guaranteed all american victory at Lution… I need to be on a mission from god, too!

Cort: But he doesn’t reply to my letters. So that’s why I need YOU! 

Cort strides up the aisle as the congregation humm and haw disapprovingly.

Cort:
 So how much is a blessing? $500? I got cash, cheque, 7 million zimbabwe dollars, bottle caps…

Peter judges Cort silently.

Peter:
 A blessing is not earned with money, wayward son. You must prove to me you wish to do a good deed!

Peter: The lord does not lend his power to just anyone who would use it… are you worthy?

Cort: Am I worthy? Listen, buddy, do you know how many followers of other religions I’ve pointed a gun at during my tours?

Cort: Surely that’s gotta get me some brownie points. 

Peter wrinkles his nose.

Peter:
 That’s not exactly what I’m looking for. The way to heaven is through peace… not war.

Cort: Then why are you in OCW?

Cort: Surely you realize the company is chock full of crazy wackos who treat chairshots like a friday night treat!

Cort: OCW is a war.

Peter: And a man should not try to change what he sees as wrong? A fair competition is not a sin.

Peter: I seek to show OCW the way, and sometimes, even a man of the cloth must become a man of action.

Cort:
 Yeah, keep telling yourself that when a guy in a glowing mask hits you in the balls multiple times.

Cort: Anyway, I’m short on time. I don’t have all year to run around doing good samaritan things. Sure we can’t get this over with quicklike?

Peter shakes his head. 

Peter:
 No can do. You help others before I help you.

Cort: Not even for a good Yelp review?

Peter’s eyebrows raise.

Peter:
 That might reduce the number of deeds necessary.

Cort: Good! I will return to you within a week!

Cort strides out of the church as the congregation stares once again, and Peter resumes his sermon.

The camera pans to the announce team.

For the love of.....PETE!

Oh You!

 

 

It's a Match!
Hijo De Mistico vs Pastor Pete

The camera pans to the announce team.

I got that hook line and!

Sinker, BISH!

The scene opens up on the backstage area, the camera panning through the production staff going about their evening, making the magic happen.

As the camera continues to pan, it rests on an open door, with signage that reads “Referee Dressing Area”.

Inside of the room, a number of zebras stand inside chatting each other up as they tie up their non-slip sneakers and adjust their old man knee braces beneath their slacks.


One of the men, one who must be some level of senior referee above the rest, stands up drawing the attention of the others.

Senior Referee: Alright guys, let's get out there, call them right down the middle and make this show happen!

The referees, invigorated by that rousing speech to reach their peak mediocrity, begin to cheer, high five each other and walk out into the halls, pumped to take inadvertent bumps, push wrestlers back anytime they get close to the refs when an opponent is outside of the ring, and generally just get in the way of the action.

As they continue to file outside, H2O’s pet project, the referee with the weak bladder who had helped to recover The Good Light, brings up the rear, glancing down at his cellphone.

Once he reaches the door, a hand reaches out, snatching the cellphone away.


Bobby Minio: We won’t be needing that.

The referee’s jaw drops, he turns to face The One Man Revolution who had been waiting just outside of the camera frame against the wall, putting together a futile attempt to talk this situation away.

Referee: I, you… He, I… You…

Bobby Minio: Shhh.

Referee: But I,

Bobby Minio: Shhhhhhhh. Just stop.

Minio’s right hand reaches up, gripping the back of the referee’s neck. He begins to lead the referee in the opposite direction of his herd of zebras.

As they walk, Minio drops the referee’s phone down hard on the floor, stomping onto it with force without breaking the stride in his step.

The referee cringes, his sad eyes looking to his side, trying to see Minio, though Minio is still walking with the referee by the neck, ahead of him.


Referee: Where… where are we going?

Bobby Minio: To have a much needed conversation.

The referee’s face washes over with dread. Minio’s face remains the same, his brows lowered, eyes narrow, focused on whatever mission he is on.

Referee: Wh, wha… What would Mugen think about this?

Without a wasted second passing, Minio snaps his response toward the referee.

Bobby Minio: Like I give a SHIT.

He turns the referee into an open door, shoving the man into the room. Minio follows into the room, kicking a doorstop out from a position wedged beneath the door, forcing the door to slam directly in front of the camera’s frame.

The sign on the door reads: MEN’S BATHROOM. The screen fades into the next segment.

The camera pans to the announce team.

He really is a disciple of Paul Pugh!

That man gon, DIE!

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