On a crisp evening, OCWFED looks to heat things up!
We have an amazing show for you tonight!
So lets rock and roll!
The Camera Pans To The Ramp!
D.Dillinger, talent agent, parades around the ring to unsuspecting fans. He eventually peers over to the ringside announcer for a microphone.
D.Dillinger gathers his mic, slicks back his hair and prepares to speak to the OCW Universe.
D.Dillinger: ...Welcome! To Madison Square Garden!!!
The crowd lets off a light pop as D. continues to saunter around the ring and nod to himself.
D.Dillinger: I'm so glad that you all could be here tonight. You're in for a real treat, I tell ya'.
D.Dillinger: For those of you that don't know... Actually, in fact, let me introduce you to me personally.
D.Dillinger exits the ring right of the announce table, walking slowly down the ring steps, laughing to himself.
He strolls down ring side, handing business cards to OCW fans and shaking the hand of whomever will accept.
D.Dillinger points to the titantron and smirks. A blown up version of that same business card is front and center on the tron. "D.Dillinger, talent agent"
D.Dillinger: I am Dennis Dillinger. I am here to improve all of your lives! Ha - Ah hahahaha.
D.Dillinger: This 'OCW' function seems like a great opportunity. I can feel the energy in this place!
D.Dillinger takes an over-emphasized whiff of the arena and smiles wide as he walks slowly back up the ring steps to the ring.
D.Dillinger: Well... I want to welcome to you all... the most prized performer in the history of entertainment!
The OCW crowd maintains their reluctant cheer.
D.Dillinger: The man who can single handedly pack seats for top venues world-wide!
D.Dillinger: The man who's very essence draws the ire of crowds from east to west!
D.Dillinger: The worlds top talent. The worlds most underestimated attraction...
D.Dillinger pulls the mic down and begins to nod up and down. He climbs the nearest turnbuckle slowly. Raising his hands, attempting to pump up the crowd.
D.Dillinger: Your wife's favorite! Your secret hero! My client!....
D.Dillinger: TAYY!!!..... BREIZEEEEEEEEE!!!
Tayy bounces around from corner to corner, hyping up the crowd. He seems very excited to be inside an OCW ring. D.Dillinger motions to the ringside crew to get his newest client a microphone.
D.Dillinger: That's right! THE Tayy Fabulous is here! Recogniiiize, dawg'!
Tayy looks over at his agent and cuts his hand across his neck, motioning D.Dillinger to stop his awkward attempt at a racial connection.
D.Dillinger: Let me make something perfectly clear. This perfectly sculpted man in this ring with me... Is the reason you pay for these seats!
Tayy nods his head and raises his mic to speak... He his bumped and cut off by his agent...
D.Dillinger: That's right, Tayy! I am so excited to introduce you to these people... and I can tell just from looking out there into the seats that they're just as excited. Mannnn oh' man.
Tayy raises his mic to say something... before lowering it once more to take in the adulation of the crowd.
D.Dillinger: That's right, Tayy. Take it all in. Get used to it...
Tayy lowers his mic and stares at his agent before gesturing towards the ramp.
D.Dillinger: ...Oh! Right! We have important business matters to attend to! Thank you all so much. Please, call me if you have any incredible, once in a lifetime talents... Like Tayy Breizee, here!
Confused fans peer on as D.Dillinger Dillinger and Tayy Breizee exit the ring to Tayy's music and head back up the ramp.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Well that was odd!
Trust the Process!
Previously Recorded
The scene opens on a Saturday night where Valkyrie is riding her motorcycle. Jackman is sitting right behind her.
Jackman: Do you not have another bike that is not one seater and actually has a second seat behind you?
Valkyrie: Well you could have walked…
Valkyrie shows a sign of relief as the wind is pushing all of Jackman's stink behind them.
Valkyrie: I know you don’t want to, but we have to look at that place over there.
Valkyrie points over at the Blue Oyster Club Bar known for being a gay bar.
Jackman: there is no way I'm going in there! I would get eaten alive.
Valkyrie: Chill out, Boxman. That’s not simply a gay bar, it’s an 80s themed gay bar. Now, I don’t know if B17 is gay, bisexual, asexual or pansexual, but it’s worth a try. He’s probably B17-sexual, anyway, but maybe he’s in there. My detective instinct says so.
Jackman and Valkyrie walk into the bar early before everyone gets there to find a seat to scope out the place to see if B17 would show up. The time is currently 7:00 p.m.
5 hours have passed. Jackman has ordered 10 rounds of drinks for himself and ordered Valkyrie a glass of water.
Valkyrie: We have been here for five hours and you haven't once looked for Bingo. How many times do I have to tell you: I am the detective, you are my wingman. Now go and look for him, I’ll be waiting for you here. Also, how much did you drink? Are you drunk?
Jackman: Why are you yelling? live a wittle. Look there he is!
Jackman points at a guy standing on top of the bar taking his clothes off and throwing it at the other men in the bar.
Valkyrie: God, you are really drunk! That’s not him at all.
Jackman throws down a shot.
Jackman: Welp I tried.
Valkyrie: Let’s go, we’ll try again tomorrow.
The scene ends as they walk out of the bar.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Well then!
Jackman ain't got no kind of class!
Taiga Masuka vs Doc Young
The camera pans to the announce team.
Right in the Bread Basket!
DON'T EVEN!
*PREVIOUSLY RECORDED*
We are at a hotel in NYC on a beautiful sunday afternoon. The hall is surprisingly quiet, corridors are deserts and birds are singing.
All of a sudden, a far away scream can be heard. Not so much of a pain scream but more of a psychotic one.
Cameras turn the corner to reveal a door wide open, 2 of OCW’s residents sitting in front of a TV. One of them boasts a French flag on his shoulder proudly, as well as a french football jersey. The other one has nothing special except his PRISTINE SUNGLASSES and a pair of slacks.
Rust: COME ON NOW ! You can do it guys, come on!
Quartz: Heh, Rusty. I’ve never seen you this wound up about something before. Wish you had this energy in our matches.
Quartz laughs at his own joke, Rust Cohle, who is completely enamored and locked into the football match, completely ignores him.
Quartz:...Hold on a second, aren’t you British, anyways?
This line get Cohle’s attention, as he takes offense to the blatant disrespect.
Rust: Shut up ! I was born in France ! ...Why do you even care ? Enjoy the match or leave, you overgrown frat boy ! I need concentration. I am stressed out !
Quartz: French… British… What’s the difference? You know what I think Rusty… I think you’re a real bandwagon fan. Nobody watches this crap unless they’re winning!
Quartz: I don’t know why so many people love soccer so much. It bores me to death. Plus, that other British team is way better, anyways.
Rust: That’s CROATIA, you moron. Look at the score ! 2-1 FRANCE ! Hater. Maybe, if you just remove your fake glasses off your nose, you’d actually see the match. We’re indoor, stupid.
Quartz leans back in his chair and puts his hands behind his head in a relaxed state.
Quartz: Woah, woah, woah. Don’t take your hate out on me because your fute-bawl team is on the ropes. All the French people I know are chokers. You better be careful.
Quartz grins as he mocks and prods his tag team partner, who watches on anxiously.
Rust is sweating, as the camera swings around the room, we can see beer bottles everywhere. It seems like Rust Cohle has had a little bit too much drink, as well.
All of a sudden, we can hear people walking down the hallway. The walking and muffled conversation from the hallway suddenly halt at the door to the room.
H2O: Hey Baker. Rumor has it that the team B2O is facing tonight Is on this lower level of this hotel we’re staying.
Baker: The lower level huh? That’s booooooring.
H2O: H2O would like to see what their room looks like compared to our suite upstairs.
Baker quickly silences Harvey by putting his own finger to his lips. He points at a door that’s opened ajar just in front of them. Harvey acknowledges.
They walk over to it quietly and listen to the sounds of The World Cup being played from inside the room.
B2O stands on opposite ends of the door looking at each other in bewilderment as they hear Rust Cohle screaming at the television screen in excitement.
Baker nods his head towards the door signaling Harvey to go inside. H2O shrugs and walks inside and Baker follows.
H2O: Well oh well...This room’s level is so low you boys might as well be sleeping in the lobby.
Baker walks over to CQC’s window and opens the curtains.
Baker: Wow look at the skyline from this view!
H2O rushes over to the window to see. H2O balls a fist up and holds it over his mouth in amazement. He turns to look at CQC.
H2O: You can literally watch the painter paint the New York City Skyline for the tourists over there on the sidewalk.
Baker: Yeah, you boys are lucky. Looking at the real skyline from our view is boooooooring.
Quartz inhales and exhales deeply from his comforting position in his chair. Rust snubs B2O and takes another chug of his beer.
Quartz: Now, I know that voice. That sounds a lot like the pride of Flint himself. What do you two want? Here to pitch us your newest matching onesies?
Quartz leans forward in his chair, kicking the footstool out of the way. Using his hands to prop him up, he turns directly into The Good Light himself, the two tilt their heads in unison.
Quartz: Even with the light coming in from the window, there’s still nothing good about this light, here.
Quartz flicks the back of his hand off of the Light Heavyweight Championship belt, before matching H2O’s smug grin with a self-serving one of his own.
The roar of the television is heard as Cohle leaps into the air to celebrate France’s 3rd goal of the match. Rust throws his beer down before spinning around the couch and sliding on his knees in celebration.
Rust: GOAAAAAAAAL ! 3 !! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ! WE AAAARE THE CHAAAAAAAAMPIONS… OF THE WOOOORLD.
Everybody turns around and looks awkwardly at Rusty.
H2O walks over to Rust but the smell of intoxication holds The World Lightheavyweight Champion back. He turns away while holding his nose shut from the smell.
Harvey steps to the side of Quartz. They both adjust their glasses the same way at the same time.
H2O: Your partner acts as if he won the tag titles. Something you know you guys can’t really do as long as B2O is lurking around.
Quartz: Is is dark with your head that far up your caddy’s ass?
H2O just smiles at Quartz as he and Baker makes their way out the door. H2O stops before completely exiting and turns around towards CQC.
H2O: The Good Light’s only goal is to kick those “PRISTINE SUNGLASSES” right off your face to get the 1-2-3!
Quartz once again flicks his hand at B2O as they’re leaving. Cohle continues to leap around like a madman behind his partner, ripping his shirt off and waving the French flag around in a lasso-like circle.
H2O holds up a finger indicating the number one as he repeatedly whispers “One Chromosome” to Quartz.
Quartz scoffs and whispers under his breath.
Quartz: Psh, yeah. Let’s just hope for your sake you’re as resilient as you had to be last time, bub’.
The camera fades as B2O walks out of camera shot and Rust can still be heard singing.
