Episode 2!

Xander: Now hold on a second Bubba. Yes, I just called you Bubba. Yes, I realize you're the one who says Bubba, Bubba. Yes, okay okay okay, whatever Bubba, just know you're not being very romantic right now.

Xander Rane paces around in front of an air vent as Argos watches his master, tail wagging eagerly.

Xander: I know, I knooowww. I see your point, and I agree completely Drago, you're the expert here. I understand you know all there is to know about vampire bats. I'm just saying that you should see things my way.

Clearly not happy with the response coming from the other end, Rane hplds the phone away from his ear for a minute as he allows OCW's resident hunter to say what he wants to say, despite nobody paying him any attention. With a quick wink to his puppy, the Rain Man brings the phone back to his face and continues speaking.

Xander: Now look here Bubba, I know you believe the Abominable Vampire Bat to be the one of the few non-indigenous to air vents across the tri-state area, but I'm gonna have to remind you that careers have ended, and that means I know what I'm doing. Thank you for your time, but you've been useless I'm gonna do it my way.

Kicking aside the open vent, Xander raises an eyebrow at Argos and gestures towards the opening, making the question of whether or not he was coming clear. To his credit, Argos put his head down and seemed to think for a good minute before walking in a circle and laying down attentively, showing his desire to stand watch instead.

With a nod, Xander breathes a calming breath and crawls inside, immediately applauding his own decision as he hears the distinct nasally tone of Kassidy Hayes's voice far off into the maze that is the arena's ventilation system. With a newly reaffirmed determination, he sets off on his journey.

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The camera pans to the announce team.

	I have no idea what that loon is up to, and I'm not sure I want to know!! Hello geeks and freaks, and welcome to Episode 2 of a 3 show Asylum special.
	Last week we had a screamer of a Main Event. Hopefully we can continue that trend this week.

	Hopefully Al, but lightening doesn't strike the same place twice.
	I hops you get struck by lightening Scaggs.

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The camera pans backstage to Jim Black. Jim is getting ready to do an interview with OCW Turmoil's Matt Sheldon.

Jim Black: "Welcome Matt, to the Asylum!"

Matt Sheldon has his phone out, Matt is doing up his hair but is using his phone's camera as a mirror.

Jim Black: "We didn't expect you to be here tonight as you were schedules to fight Tank on Turmoil but the two of you no showed."

Matt stops what he's doing and turns to look at Jim.

Matt Sheldon: "I was sick Jim, SICK!"

Matt Sheldon: "You know who's fault that was? You know who is to blame?"

Jim Black: "Who was to blame Matt?"

Matt Sheldon: "That DISGUSTING, VILE, UGLY, HIPPY WALKING and a ABOMINATION of a man called BILL DING."

Jim Black: "How did he make you sick?"

Matt Sheldon: "Is that seriously a question Jim? Have you seen that man? He only has to stand two meters away from me to make me sick. He's just a discussing slob. Do you know how many people starve to death because of guys like him? People like Bill Ding should be put down."

Matt Sheldon: "I don't get what these people love about Bill Ding. I mean do these people really want that to be on the cover of magazines or even worse, a champion?"

Jim Black: "Bill Ding defiantly has a fan base regardless of whether you like the man or not."

Matt Sheldon: "Those people are what I call STUPID Jim."

Matt Sheldon storms out as we fade to commercial.

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The scene opens with Anthony Baker walking backstage still in his street attire as Stacy Clark walked her way up to Anthony with a microphone in her hand.

Stacy: Mr. Baker. Tonight you face Lucas Crowe many are saying that you don't have a chance to win this. What're your thoughts on that?

She pointed the microphone to face him as he let out a slight laugh.

Anthony: You see Stacy you never know what'll happen until you go out there and put your heart on the line. Tonight I will show to everyone watching whether I win or lose I, Anthony Baker will still become a face that the fans will love to see every week on their screens.

The fans let out a mix of cheers and boos as Stacy pointed the microphone back at herself.

Stacy: In the past few weeks there have been a lot of events happening that have you in them, or words about you. What're your thoughts on them?

Anthony: (Laughs softly again) Well. You see Stacy. The whole Leon thing. Or shall I say Leon Valentine was a time deal. He's still a lousy legend who isn't even a good role model, and Tyler Rose. Please. I'm leaving that chump behind me.

Anthony: But, now there is someone in my sights. The one they call Flynn. This man is out here thinking he's a rock star. All he is gonna do is bury rock even more than it already is. 

Anthony: Anyway I have a match I need to get ready for. 

Anthony nodded before he walked off the screen. Stacy still looking at the camera with the microphone facing her again.

Stacy: Those were some words from...

Anthony is scene walking backwards back on the screen as he grabbed the microphone.

Anthony: IT'S BAKING TIME.

He walked back off the screen as the scene faded to black.

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Skull Face #2 vs Carlos Cruz

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Oh my.
	Flawless victory!!!.....Fatality?

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We now go backstage to the Gentleman's Club dressing room. Inside we see Gentleman Jack, the mountain known as Big Ed, and making his triumphant return to OCW television, America's favorite unlicensed attorney himself, Barry last name unknown! As with 75% of the OCW roster, alcohol and drugs are being consumed in the open. As Jack takes a small bump, he begins to speak.

Jack: Seriously, how the hell are we insured? How is the building not raided? This roster is like Studio 54 at it's peak! We easily keep at least three Mexican cartels well fed. How has management not called in experts?!?! In a decade most of us will be dead! For shame OCW, for shame!

Barry: What do you mean boss?

Jack: Do you know what long term drug abuse does? It's not good for the heart! C'mon Barry, let's be honest, you got five years left, max. You are screwed my man. But not as screwed as half the Riot roster! Have you seen these guys?

Barry: Like who?

Jack: Well let's take KD for example. Nature didn't make that. Algerian horse testosterone is the only thing that'll make that.

We see Ed hitting a joint before going into a coughing fit at Jack's comment. As he regains his composure, he speaks.

Big Ed: Algerian horse testosterone?

Jack: Wait, that's not what you're on? I just assumed...

Big Ed: I mean, not Algerian...

Jack: Eh fair enough. Algerian horse testosterone is so potent it could turn Sophia into Malu in about three months. But enough about that. He's not even the worst, have you seen Kwan Watts???

Barry: Ugh, not this Kwan Watts stuff again! You got to drop it kid.

Jack: Shutup Barry! You bulbous seal! Kwan is a fraud and a slap in the face to everything I stand for! I also have it on good authority that he consumes enough ecstasy on a daily basis to kill an east Chechen whore.

Big Ed: What does any of this have to do with me?

Jack: Sorry Champ, you're right, it's time to focus. Who are you fighting tonight?

Big Ed: Who am I fighting? You're my manager, you tell me!

Jack: Barry! Who's Mr. Main Event fighting tonight?

Barry flips through a random stack of papers. Feel free to believe they have pertinent information to our situation. I like to believe they were just torn out pages from Ikea instructions.

Barry: It says Matt Sheldon.

Jack and Ed in unison: Who?

Barry: Matt Sheldon! The pretty boy! He did a thing with Bill Ding and a chicken salad sandwich once.

Jack: Wait, he had sex with Bill Ding and a chicken salad sandwich? I cant say ****, or ****, ****, or even ****, but Matt Sheldon and Bill Ding can have sex with a sandwich on tv?! That's racist!

Big Ed: You're all white. You know the great thing about white people is that...

Jack: No! No talking about race in any way, shape, or form for six months! You have so many wrong ideas. Just so many...

Big Ed: Like that Puerto Ricans enjoy... 

Jack: No! Stop it!

Big Ed: Or how black people always be like...

Jack: Seriously, we can't do this. Do you know the heat I'm getting for our AA stunt? I can't get us out of you going John Rocker on national tv.

Big Ed: But we can all agree that those filthy Liechtensteiner's are sub human filth right?

Jack: You know what, sure, I think you can get away with that one.

Barry shakes his head in disgust.

Barry: Filthy Lichies... We shoulda finished them off in WWII when we had the chance!

Jack: I don't... I don't even know what to say to that... Are you ready for this?

Big Ed: For Matt Sheldon? Yeah, I think I got this.

Jack: Let's make it interesting.

Big Ed: What do you mean?

Jack: If you lose, instead of getting wasted and beating the piss out of people next week, we have to grant the wish of a dying child.

Big Ed: What? How high are you?

Jack: Sooooooo high! But hear me out. You want to be Turmoil Champion someday right? Rub it that skank and her autistic midget sidekick's faces? 

Big Ed: What does being nice to a dying kid have to do with being champion?

Jack: Politics my man! You think you're going to climb the ladder being a dick to everyone? Well you can, but you have to win! So as long as you beat pretty boy tonight you can do whatever you want! But if you lose, you have to grease wheels and make people like you. Easiest way to make people like you? Play with a dying kid!

Big Ed: I won't catch anything will I?

Jack: Not if you win champ! Not if you win!

Jack slaps Big Ed on the back and smiles as our scene ends. What's in store for the club? Will Ed win his match or catch AIDS from a child? Stay tuned to find out!

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The camera pans to the announce team.

	I hope Ed CRUSHES Matt Sheldon.
	I'm supposed to say that Scaggs, you're the neutral one remember!

Lucas Crowe vs Anthony Baker

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The camera pans to the announce team.

	I'm not going to lie, those 3 scare the bejeesus out of me.
	You ever get tired of watching the dropkick Scaggs? I feel like I'm watching re-runs of the same show, pretty soon I'm going to change the channel.

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The familiar picture of a backstage locker room opens the scene, as The One Man Revolution, Bobby Minio, walks into frame, dropping a dufflebag of his gear down at a stall which has a sign reading his name. He turns, looking around the room. His eyes have returned to their normal state, he looks sober, if not a little tired or stressed out. As he begins to unzip his bag, something inside the stall behind his bag catches his eye. He reaches down, picking up a large coconut with the word, or rather, name, “Cereal” written on the side in sharpie. Minio’s brow furrows, and he begins to examine the coconut.

Bobby Minio: The hell?

He discovers a seam running around the perimeter of the coconut, which he traces with a finger-tip. As he turns to face the camera with in the base of the frame below his face, he lifts the top half of the coconut up, revealing it has been cut in half. As he opens the coconut, a gold glow shines across his eyes. His eyes become wide, glassy and quivering. He sits back on the locker stall, placing the lower section of the coconut on his lap as his face is still bathed in gold light. With his now free hand, he reaches inside of the coconut, the contents still obscured, pulling out a small card of paper, which he reads outloud.

Bobby Minio: Huh… “Cereal… in case of emergency, keep on truckin’. - V” Hm.

Minio sets the paper down beside him, then reaches into the coconut once again. This time, he produces a tightly wrapped blunt, easily the size of the sharpie that had been used to write his name on the coconut. He stares at it in… well, not confusion, maybe awe. He stares for what may be fifteen seconds, before his eyes shut tightly. He places the blunt back inside of the coconut, before replacing the top or lid of the coconut, blocking out the gold light. He places the coconut back in his locker stall, then begins to look forward, staring through the camera lens.

Bobby Minio: That… was a mistake. I’m above that… above the influence. Even alone, without The Purge at my back, I am the stone cold sober reality that dropkicks my way through this roster night in and night out. Versus… he might mean well… god only knows if that is true… but if I resort to using a CRUTCH, like THIS? It’s going to be because my leg is broken in two.

At this point, Minio’s eyes refocus on the camera, he’s looking directly at it, addressing it.

Bobby Minio: KD, he’s dealt me my share of punishment over the years. Like so many others, I’ve run into this walking brick wall over and over again, but this is different. I’m different. I’m different than any other man, woman or otherkin on this entire roster. I’m different than every putz in the crowd. I’m different than the man I was a few weeks ago. 

Bobby Minio: Most importantly, I’m different than the man who would let KD take one more liberty with me or my body. No more punishment. No more beatings. No more Black Racks. No more nothing. Tonight, KD will hear The Deadly Rhythm, right before he spends three long seconds counting the building’s overhead lights.

Minio glances down at the coconut again, before shaking his head.

Bobby Minio: No crutches needed here. No way.

He stands up, turning his back on the camera and his attention back onto his dufflebag. He finishes unzipping the bag and begins unpacking his ring gear as the camera pans down to the coconut before fading into the next segment.

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The camera pans to the announce team.

	He's a changed man bah gawd!!
	I hope KD makes his plot in the garden extra deep.

Big Ed vs Matt Sheldon

Non-Title

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The camera pans to the announce team.

	So much violence!!
	I wish this run was more than 3 shows :(

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Calm.

Relaxation.

Serenity.

Those are all things Argos lost when his master snapped the Mastiff out of a truly peaceful slumber with outrageous pants and exhausted breaths.

Crawling around in air ventilation shafts for an hour will cause the greatest of men to sweat tears of blood, and Xander Rane was no exception. He wasn't quite sure if he'd missed his scheduled match for the night with Tyler Rose, but quite frankly he couldn't give a damn. The booker could eat a Truth Siren from Parker Stevens for all Xander cared, he'd just made the discovery of a lifetime.

But first,

Xander: Argos. Sweat. Lick. Off. Now. Please.

Sweating completely through his prized fedora and jacket was not something Rane could allow himself to do, especially not when these were some of the only clothes he owned. And so, laying down half naked with his clothing to the side, Xander sighed in relief as his puppy saved him from a disaster.

Once he was finally clean as he could get, Xander tok his phone back out of his pocket and sent a message to the huntsman he'd been speaking to earlier.

Xander: Lol told you

Proud of the bat guano he'd discovered in the air vents, Xander awaited a response eagerly as he knew Drago would surely be red faced upon seeing the message, knowing he'd been bested in his knowledge of bat habitats.

Feeling the buzz of his phone notification, he eagerly picked it up to see a reply already. With a grin he read it aloud.

Drago: WHY SEND CAT FECES! HHHHMMMMPPPPP

Realizing what the message meant, realizing that he hadn't discovered the location of the abominable vampire bat, realizing that he'd licked cat feces to test it and still been wrong, and worst of all, realizing how unromantic the day had been to him so far today, Xander Rane huddled up half naked with his puppy and went to sleep.

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Skull Face #1 vs Seb Abbot

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A limo pulls up to the Arena, from which Madison and Dennis Black emerge. As they have just returned early from vacation, they arrived with luggage still in tow. Madison waves over one of the assistants to help with their things as the pair make their way into the building. 

Madison takes a deep breath as they enter.

Madison: Ahhh… It's nice to be back after such an amazing vacation. I feel so relaxed and refreshed, don't you? 

Dennis mutters to himself: Yea. Real relaxing for some of us. 

Madison: It certainly was! While some of these people were here still busting their humps in hopes to ever reach your level, we were busy enjoying paradise and spoiling ourselves rotten. 

Dennis hardly pays attention to what Madison is saying as his stomach has been rumbling like crazy. That's when he spots the extravagant catering spread. He quickly runs over to the table, grabs a plate, and starts shoveling food onto the plate. Madison looked on at the gluttonous display as Ms. Clark approached commenting on the early return.

Clark: Thought we wouldn't see you until Riot.

Madison: ...No interviews.

Clark: Wasn't planning on it. I came to...erm…

Madison and Clark both looked on in disgust as Dennis started drinking gravy from the ornate saucer.

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