CCW CHAMPIONSHIP
AISU vs. B17*
For a brief moment we find Our Hero the CEO of OCWFED, Mr. Jaysin Clinton (George not Bill) Sensation backstage between extended commercial breaks just before he is going to head back out as one half of the most dynamic duo in OCWFED Commentary history, J & JUICE (The Juice is for Jake Allen because he drinks a lot and shouts even more aka JUICED).
He hears a combination of shouting, shrieking and crying a “ShouRieCry” if you will. As the sound gets louder he sees the door to his office destroyed…to be honest one of the OCWFED golf carts used to transport goods, stage hands & V.I.P’s about the arena is sort of wedged in the doorway.
Our Hero sighs as he climbs through the cart in order to get into his office only to find his “WIFE” EMP flipping papers, appliances and anything not nailed down on Our Hero’s desk as if she is looking for something.
Our Hero is beyond annoyed!
JCS: (Furious) WHAT IN THE ORANGE **** Are you doing, man!
A wild eyed EMP stops her path of destruction ever so briefly and begins to speak manically to Our Hero!
EMP: MY PRIDE!!
EMP: MY PRIDE JASON!! SHE TOOK IT! SHE BEAT ME, JASON! SHE DOESN’T GET TO BEAT ME, NO ONE DOES!
EMP’s face crumples up like she’s having a heart attack, she clutches her chest in pain as she continues to look for something.
EMP: ME, JASON, ME! THE BEST WOMAN IN THE HISTORY OF THIS GOD DAMN SEXIST COMPANY
EMP: (Shouting) OH SHE'S GOING TO PAY, JASON! THEY ARE ALL GOING TO PAY!
EMP wild eyed continues shouting!
EMP: THE PENIULTIMATE PRICES!!!!!
Our Hero tries to take stock of the situation as his “Wife” has clearly not taken her loss well. And is potentially plotting her very own OCWFED version of “How To Get Away With Murder” or something! EMP continues to rummage around the office. Her head quickly springs up from the wreckage as if something has caught her attention! She notices a frame on Our Hero’s wall.
A framed copy of Michael Jackson’s Thriller Album signed by the late King of Pop himself! EMP shrieks like a banshee as she takes off her wrestling boot and throws it at the display, smashing the frame and sending the All Time Classic Album crashing down!
JCS: DUDE!!! I JUST GOT THAT ON EBAY!
EMP continues to spiral complete with heavy breathing as she sends the coldest stare on planet earth to Our Hero. Mr.Sensation looks away trying to avoid eye contact as you do with predators in the wild while his enraged wife continues her search. The noise finally stops as it seems EMP has found what she was looking for. At Our Hero’s Desk!
EMP: YES! I FOUND IT!
JCS: Uhhh what's all that stuff you’re grabbing, snookums?
A wide and wild eyed EMP looks at her “HUSBAND”
EMP: TOY’S…. MY TOYS!!
EMP starts frantically stammering with a wild look in her eyes.
Our Hero tries to take stock of his “Wife’s” “Toy” collection which include:.
EMP: ZIP TIES, CHECK!
EMP: GLOVES, CHECK
EMP: D..DUCK TAPE, CHECK!
EMP: GO PRO, CHECK!
EMP: BATTERIES FOR GO PRO, CHECK!
EMP: DARK MATCHA KIT KATS!, CHECK!
EMP: MINI O’WHALE PLUSHIE. CHECK!
EMP: WIRE! (barbed variety), CHECK!
EMP: GINGERBREAD COOKIE CANDLE!, CHECK!
EMP: (Almost spitting as she speaks) I HAVE MY TOYS!!!, JASON!
EMP continues to have an adult sized temper tantrum, with her Child sized True Crime Starter Kit while Our Hero looks on with caution after “Couples Therapy.” Our Hero is less than eager to potentially be diced up into little pieces.
JCS: Why do you have a bunch of weird “Toys” in a hidden compartment in my desk?
EMP: IT”S MY DESK NOW JASON, 50% OF THE LAW!
EMP starts pacing back and forth holding all of her “TOYS” trying not to drop anything.
Our Hero has finally put 2 and 2 and possibly 2 together! EMP realizes in her Manic state that her “Husband” may have figured out what she “plans” to do and opts to quickly come up with a cover story!
(How can we know this? It’s our RP we do what we want!)
EMP: Uh…..Role Play Things!
Our Hero Blinks…as if his eyes say “excuse me?”
EMP realizes the hole she has dug herself into with her “TOYS”
EMP: I uhhh I like to tie things and clean….….I LIKE TO BE TIED UP! And eat Kit Kat’s!
JCS: NANI THE FLUFFENUTTER!!!? THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!
EMP’s stammering spiral continues!
EMP: …….THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!
EMP: THIS IS NOT A PODCAST!, NO QUESTIONS!
EMP: I AM A FIVE STAR WOMAN! JASON!
EMP: THE FIVE STAR WOMAN IS NOT TAKING QUESTIONS! JUST ACTION! I NEED TO GO, JASON! I NEED TO MAKE THIS RIGHT!
EMP begins to march towards the golf cart wedged in the doorway trying not to drop some of the various things she is carrying. Our Hero stands in front of his wife and puts his arms out! In a feeble attempt to stop whatever war crime/atrocity EMP is plotting for the Final Freemium Live Event of Season 18.
JCS: Now hold on, hold on just wait a second! Deep breath!
EMP: MOVE JASON! I'LL KILL HER!
JCS: Be calm, say your mantra!
EMP: I’LL KILL ALL OF THEM, JASON!
EMP’s bloodlust looks to be wavering.
JCS: No killing that’s illegal, just be calm!
EMP: I’M A FIVE STAR WOMAN, JASON!
JCS: You’re a 5 Star, Woman, Kumiko!
EMP’s rage gives way to tears as she drops all of her “TOYS” She embraces Our Hero with an anaconda-like hug.
JCS: (Struggling to breath) christ……..
EMP’s face is buried in Our Hero’s shoulder.
EMP: (sobbing) I’m a 5 Star Woman! I need a things to fill this empty pride shaped void in my hearrrrtttt. I need things Jason!!!
EMP: I need a night on the town. I need ice cream. I need things.
JCS: After the show we will go on a night on the town, we will paint Toronto Red!
Our Hero pats his wife’s head trying to calm her down as she continues to sob on Our Hero’s shoulder. Our Hero feels good that he potentially averted, a crisis I guess from his “Wife”
Camera Man: Man I really do love crazy chicks!
EMP: (muffled) Shutup, Hoot!
OCW WOMEN'S TITLE
DEBORAH* vs.
SHIANNE LOVE LACE
vs. JOANNA SILVER