OCW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Stacy Clark sits on a tall chair in an interview area adorned with the drip of Wrestlution 18. She speaks clearly and fiercely.

Stacy: The energy is palpable, you can feel it, grab it, hold it like a weapon. A weapon wielded to conquer the known wrestling world. WRESTLUTION, the pinnacle of wrestling, of entertainment, of Ambition!

Stacy: No man has encompassed that more than OCW Hall of Famer and Riot General Manager, Tiberius Octativan Dupree. Though long removed from the accolades of the squared circle, his ambitions are far more subtle.

Stacy: That is why tonight live at Wrestlution 18, from the vibrant city of Atlanta, Georgia. I sit with the man himself to discuss his thoughts on Wrestlution and OCW as a whole.

The camera zooms out to show Dupree in all his splendor. Dressed for the occasion in a finely tailored black tuxedo, despite the heat.

Stacy: Welcome, Tiberius.

Dupree: Salutations Stacy, always the pleasure.

Stacy: Always, let’s get right into it shall we. Let’s start with something on brand. What does Wrestlution mean to you?

Dupree: Wow, that should be easy to answer right? It means everything, since I don’t have a summer.

Stacy stares at him, he stares back, Stacy stares again, he stares back.

Stacy: But it’s summer right now, it’s July.

Dupree: Next question please.

Stacy sighs and fiddles with her hall of fame ring before continuing.

Stacy: Very well, how do you feel about the current state of OCW?

Dupree: Despite it being the grandest stage of them all. Despite it being the biggest show of the calendar year. Despite having a vermin free office with no Ryu or Kumiko. Despite having all the maple money can buy. IT STINKS! IT PHREAKING STINKS!

Stacy: Stinks?!

Dupree: Yesh! Let’s start with that harlot bamboozled Our Hero into marriage, committing emotional terrorism on a global scale. While simultaneously hijacking the main event.

Dupree: We got current and future legends massacring officials like Chris Ryder wrote their manifesto. We got rookys in everything but name with so many in-ring violations and offenses, I need a phreaking dossier.

Without pause or breath he continues, loosening his bow tie.

Dupree: Let’s not even talk about the Dark Net Society. I have to change my damn passwords every 8 hours. They are everywhere, they need a phreaking character limit Stacy, not me!

Dupree: We got filthy backstabbers with blades so sharp they only show in pale moonlight. And goddamn road 2 glory hole sucking dinosaurs stuck in a phreaking time loop.

At this point, TIbby is out of his mind, tux and seat. Stacy is apathetic, keeps her professionalism by ceremoniously trying to end the interview.

Stacy: Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for…

Tibby grabs the camera with both hands just before it fades.

Dupree: NO! NO! You don’t get to cut me off! WE GOT GODDAMN NAKED CHAMPIONS! GODDAMN NAKED CHAMPIONS!!