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We catch a glimpse of a beautiful suburban Georgia homestead, somewhere rural – a real hard working man’s house. Flowers adorn the exquisitely laid yard and sprinklers work their way over a lusciously crisp lawn. The camera finds its way to a pie, cooling lovingly beside a window as several critters enjoy the aroma of the peachy peach cobbler. Georgia looks great this time of year, we’re led to believe, until BANG.
A door slams on the lot next door and the camera quickly spins to locate the action. Suddenly, a dilapidated hovel appears in focus on our screens as the cameraman heads for a closer look. Outside the house, several wandering crack enthusiasts are being shooed by a Puerto Rican gentleman who is waving a leaf blower in their direction. The deadbeats desperately try to avoid the stiff wind of Rican justice as we cut inside where a business meeting seems to be concluding.
Hannibal: Gentlemen it’s been a pleasure… Don’t forget to sign the back page
One Herschel Dunny- Hannibal D to his foes is sitting in an attractive armchair across a glass coffee table – opposite two figures who we only catch from behind for now. As one of them leans in to sign, we notice the glimmer of the OCW World Championship.
Pugh: You drive a hard bargain… Now. I must use the big ego’s room… if I might.
Kid Ego leaps to his feet as Hannibal nods sagely
Hannibal: Down the hall, to the left…
Pugh offers a nod of his own and quickly leaves the area of splendour into an altogether more disgusting corridor. The camera pans out and we’re offered a view of the rest of the room. Large paintings of the A-Team adorn the walls, a clean cut white suede couch sits directly opposite Hannibal’s armchair and upon the couch sits the Sultan of Suplex – Mugen. Hannibal is, as ever, heavily protected by a small entourage who stand strategically around the room.
Mugen looks at Hannibal and smiles
Mugen: Why don’t I just stretch out?
He spreads his arms across the back of the sofa before leaning back into an almost laying down state. As he does this, he brings his purple cowboy boots up onto the white of the suede. Hannibal scowls for a moment as Mugen looks him in the eye.
Mugen: You seem tense Hannibal…
Hannibal: Kindly remove your dirty cowboy boots from my furniture… if you will…
Mugen chuckles and begins grinding his dirty cowboy boots into Hannibal’s suede. As he does he locks eyes with Hannibal who raises an eyebrow. We get a close up of Mugen’s feet as the dirt of his travels finds itself clinging to the finery of the seat.
Mugen: F*ck your couch Hannibal. Fu*ck YO COUCH BUSTA!
Mugen starts shouting the same thing over and over as he continues to disrespect Hannibal right in his face.
Hannibal: Nanothumbs… Neck Beard…
Two of Hannibal’s henchmen wander over to Mugen who is still smashing mud into the suede. Nanothumbs holds Mugen down as Neck Beard begins wailing on Mugen’s legs.
Mugen: GET YOUR DAMN THUMBS OFF ME DARKNESS!
Mugen is struggling to escape as Hannibal laughs. The two men continue damaging the KO Kid’s legs as we zoom out, catching some sort of meth manufacture in a room off the scene.
???: Stop! STOP STOP STOP!
Pugh arrives back in the room with a confused look on his face and toilet paper dangling from his foot.
Mugen: F*ck these Bustas Paul!
Hannibal clicks his fingers and the two men release Mugen’s wailed upon limbs
Mugen: You as cold as ice…
He falls onto the floor as Pugh walks over towards Hannibal
Hannibal: You’re going to want to leave now
Nanothumbs and Neck Beard are behind their boss, cracking their knuckles, and several other big black dudes are bearing down on C4.
Pugh: Mugen…
Mugen is still laying on the floor, struggling to move his legs
Mugen: I been kicked out of nicer homes than this! BUY ANOTHER COUCH BUSTA!
Nanothumbs heads over to Mugen and prepares to Garvin stomp the poor Japanese
Mugen: They shoulda never gave you BUSTAS money. Don’t know how to appreciate Sh*t
Nanothumbs lifts his foot high, ready to stomp.
Pugh: Ay yo!
Pugh throws a chair into the air as all of the guards spin to see what Pugh has done. Before the chair can even hit the ground, fists are flying. Crack manufacturers have entered the scene and are brawling with the security men. Hannibal quickly hurries out of the room as Pugh lifts Mugen up on his shoulder.
Pugh scurries over to a massive window and jumps through it, showering he and Mugen in the finest glass. Pugh jumps to his feet and quickly brushes himself down, while Mugen remains laid out on the lawn. In the background, the chair finally hits the ground, which every single person on god’s green earth knows means only one thing… It’s time to Riot.
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Live from Fresno, California!
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Good evening ladies and germs, its time for another exciting edition of Thirsty Night... Riot! |
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THE THIRST... HAS SET ME FREE. Whats up! WHATS UP! |
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Umm... |
We find our OCW Bombshell Champion Anna Mosity backstage walking around with a beer in one hand and her OCW Bombshells title in the other. We hear a familiar voice off camera yelling...
???: ANNA MOSITY!
The camera turns to reveal that it was Molly yelling at Anna.
Anna: What the hell do you.....
Before she can finish her sentence she is suddenly attacked by the behemoth bombshell Amazing Pine. Molly and Amazing Pine start punching and kicking at Anna Mosity while she is down. The skirmish lasts for a while before OCW officials run over to break it up.
Amazing Pine: I SEE YOU TONIGHT CHAMP!
Molly and Amazing Pine storm off as the champion is still left recovering from the attack.
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The camera pans to the announce team.
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All kinds of fury there... |
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LOCK UP THOSE ETHNICS! |
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Please don't say that Al, we don't need the network cancelling us. |
Amazing Pine vs Anna Mosity
Austin Lee: Marvelous is here and Marvleous loves you!
RK: Man, this guy is everywhere. What's up with him?
Seeming a little annoyed Luke throws his fork down, picks up his tray and throws it in the trashcan as he exits the cafeteria and walks back down to his locker room. Looking back at the camera.
RK: After being here for a few months. I've come to learn a few things about people here. One ,don't call someone mediocre.. haha that one is for myself. Second, I hate the fact that they tell me to do one thing and then turn around and get mad at me for doing it? What's up with that c'mon? Make up your mind people! I can only pla...
Opening the door to his lockeroom.
Austin Lee: Reckless! So glad to see you have come to join us. Welcome to Wrestling 101!
smacking his cue stick across the portable whiteboard that has the words " Wrestling 101 " with Marvelous Austin Leewriting on it.
RK: Austin!? How the.. How the hell did you get in here!?
Marvelous puts his hand up in a calm manner to quite down Luke.
Austin Lee: If you may please have a seat, class is about to start.
Pointing down to the one and only desk in the room. That seems to be brought by Austin Lee as well with the whiteboard.
RK: You've got some serious balls breaking into my room c'mon. What makes you th...
Austin Lee: Luke, thats not important right now. Now, if you may please have a seat and take out your pencil and paper. For I'm willing to put my busy schedule on pause to teach you what you must know if you want to make it here in OCW.
RK: You know man. You've got some balls breaking in here though. So I'll play along. Kinda entertaining actually.
Believe it or not, but Luke actually takes a seat and plays along with Austin.
Austin Lee: Now students if you may please open your books to page one.
Looking around confused with Austin saying students as if other people are there. Luke looks under the desk as if there might be a book there.
RK: I don't have a book foo!
Austin Lee: Exactly Luke, Exactly. There is no spoon.
RK: Uh What?
Looking up from his notes.
Austin Lee: Did you miss something?
RK: You ju...
Looking back down at his notes.
Austin Lee: Moving on...Yes?,Good, Ok now Luke remember whe...
Deciding he's had enough of this fun. Luke decides to get up from his desk. And heads for the door before he turns around to Austin Lee getting his last word in.
RK: You think you got something on me. You think you're better than me? Well you got another thing coming c'mon. You've got some nerve breaking in here and thinking it's ok to do this. I've got my match now with Power Nation. By the time I get back. You better be gone!
Slamming the door behind him. Austin Lee stands back appalled with his hand on his chest.
Austin Lee: Uhh Rude...
Scene Fades
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