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We find ourselves backstage, where the Griping Girly, Brandi Hostile is preparing herself for her match against the Round Brown Backside of the Law, Onyanna Boo'Tay, going through a laundry list of various stretches and breathing exercises.
The relatively peaceful scene is soon interrupted by a certain perspicuous passerby, the spearhead of the Bombshell Initiative, Dr. Lindsay Rothschild Esq. M.D., who peers into the Bombshell locker room with a look of distain for the mistress of melodrama.
Lindsay: I pray your preparations for your match tonight are going swimmingly, Ms. Hostile?
Brandi removes the earbuds now blaring obnoxious scream core techno funk into the open air.
Brandi: You don't even know how suck this week has been, Ms. Dr. Lindsay. First, my boyfriend dumped me. Then, my cat died. Then, I had to get, like, ten vaccinations to get ready for my match against this absolutely DISGUSTING stripper monster tonight. It totally sucks!
Lindsay: About that… Onyanna, unfortunately, has her kids this week so she will be absent. Luckily, I had the time to set you up with two replacement opponents!
Brandi: Oh… Em… Gee… What the actual hell? What about the daddy?!
Lindsay: I think Mr. Murdok is busy tonight…
Brandi: That sucks! You suck! Everything sucks! Onyanna should have sucked… or at least did ana--
Lindsay: Now now, that's more than enough of your smut now get out!!
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Harsh words! |
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The truth hurts! |
This is a pre-recorded segment, because technology has actually advanced beyond VHS since the Ortiz Express ran it's course. We are inside The Grand Del Mar Luxury Hotel with the Son of God, Cody Storm and his gorgeous wife Cherese-Lee Storm.
The last two days have been great for the power slam couple, no Eerie Sunshine, the Sponsored Bombshell from hell has been MIA. Besides her exploits on last week's Riot she managed to crack the windshield on the rental car, used the last of the toilet paper and worst of all, not bathed in days.
The two make their way down the hallway flirting like a pair of newly weds. When the reach the door they see a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign hanging from the handle. They both give each other a look, but before they can open the door a half naked man barges out.
Cody Storm: What the f...
Cody and Cherese immediately enter the room. It hasn't been 20-30 minutes since they left for a evening walk yet the room is completely trashed. Peices of Cherese's expensive and very revealing lingerie is scattered in various places.
On the bed there's a folded towel with a red spot and a empty malt liquor bottle. Cody looks furious, but Cherese is beyond that. Cody shuts off the smut showing on the TV, Cherese marches toward the bathroom where she hears running water.
Cherese: I'm gonna kill this bitch...Imma kill her!
Cherese kicks the door open ready to lay the smackdown but all she sees is biker boots trying to squeeze through a nearby window. She grabs the boots, Eerie tries to kick her away, Cherese pulls harder.
Somehow Eerie wiggles out her boots, the leverage forces Cherese to fall backward into the incoming Son of God. The camera fades with Cody holding a livid Cherese and two dirty biker boots.
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That will show em! |
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How unhygenic! |
Luke Fuentes vs Eternal Matsuda
The camera pans to the announce team.
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Oh cmon! |
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I think you mean, CMON!!!!! |
*Camera fades back to Trisha as she is standing inside Marvelous Austin Lee Studio apartment Raising the microphone to her mouth as she goes to talk only to be interupted again by the sounds of Charisma by WASP as Austin Lee is carried into frame as he is sitting on his marvelous king chair. The men lowering the chair down as marvelous Austin lee rises off his throne and the men pick the chair back up moving it on as Austin turns his theme music off and slides his arm around Trisha.*
Marvelous Austin Lee: You are going to have to excuse the mess as i am still in the process of moving in but i will show you what i have got going so far. But first i am going to need all cell phones handed over to the marvelous understudy *pointing over to a man who comes walking by taking phones from the crew and trisha*. this i a no camera phone/recording device apartment, no questions asked.
*Marvelous Austin Lee starts making his way through the apartment as the camera just stays on Trisha as she stands still not sure what to make of what she just heard as she turns her cellphone over to the marvelous understudy and follows Austin Lee.*
*Trisha and the camera crew catching up to Austin as he is standing in the middle of his hallway.*
Marvelous Austin Lee: So figured we can start here in the #Marvelous Wall of fame
*the camera panning to the wall showing pictures of Marvelous Austin Lee in complete focus and different members of the OCW hall of fame completely out of focus to the point they cant not be recognized*
Marvelous Austin Lee: #Marvelous Mayhem #Marvelous Franchise #Marvelous Greatness #Marveous why me.
Marvelous Austin Lee: *Cutting Trisha off before she can even talk* See and people think Marvelous doesn't give respect when respect is to. Yet i just proved it by gracing those old people with my marvelous present when i was just a young marvelous entertaining kid.
*Turning his theme music back on as he continues to make his way through his apartment as he sings along to his theme music. Stopping just in front of a double door as he stops and looks back at the camera.*
Marvelous Austin Lee: Now i know many of my fans out in tv land often wonder how the modern day sports entertainer stays in shape and keeps such a perfect tan and this right here is how its done.
*opening the double doors as he walks inside, the camera following him inside revealing a two level gym with a king size tanning bed and a mini supplement bar.*
Marvelous Austin Lee: This right here is a room that Reckless kid has never seen before, I mean c'mon man gotta step your game up. Hit those weights, hit that tanning bed hit something because this isn't pro wrastiling son. This is sports entertaining and c'mon you know no one is a better entertainer then me. Right Trisha?
*The camera panning around showing Trisha to be sitting down on the weight bench as she has given up on trying to talk over Austin lee as the camera starts to fade to black.*
The camera pans to the announce team.
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What a wonderful use of light. To make a Studio Apartment in NYC look so majestic. |
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I hear the cynicism in your voice Charles, I don't like it! |
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