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Today Tiberius Octavius Dupree, the Mustard King of Undeniable Betterness and the beautiful Madeline Osiris entered a completely new world. A world of myths and legends, a magical world of war and turmoil. They have entered the world of LARPing...
For those of you cooler than the other side of the pillow, LARPing is Live Action Roleplaying. People of all different sizes, races and ages pretend to be wizards, warriors, archers or anything else you can fathom and they battle it out for supremacy.
A small community here in Denver put on two events a week, no matter the weather. So despite it being just below 20 degrees there's a huge turnout. The Battle for Astoria is already under way.
Almost everyone is paying attention or competing in the huge battle taking place on the snowy grounds on the outskirts of the city. Only a few parents watching their 30 year old children act like fools notice Tibby and Maddy approaching.
They just roll their eyes because the duo look ridiculous. Not because their in full costume for LARPing, but because their in their normal clothes. Well if normal means hipster meets Liberace.
Tibby is wearing a gold triple fat goose, a red winter hat shaped like a dragon's mouth, extra tight white skinny jeans and calf high black fur boots. Maddy is wearing a pearl white body length chinchilla with accents of pink glitter, red combat boots and aviator shades.
The duo walk towards the weapons rack located on the west side of the pavilion. Tibby grabs a latex longsword wrapped in nerf, Maddy picks up two small styrofoam axes. They stand on the edge of the battlefield, watching the chaos around them, nod to each other, then rush full speed into the fray.
Somehow Tibby and Maddy make it through the battle without an admin yelling "Hold", or a performer yelling "Mundy". Possibly their outragous outfits allowed them to camoflauge. Before they can reach their destination, their attacked by a pair of warriors weilding swords and shields.
Warrior #1: I will gut you dry peasant and hang your entrails from that tree other there.
Tibby looks at the tree, then the warrior. He cracks his classic half smile and lunges.
Tibby: DEATH BLOW!!!
The other warrior rushes Maddy, just as Tibby slays the first warrior. Maddy side steps the shield thrust and delivers a strike to the warrior's shoulder. Both the warriors play dead on the cold tundra as Tibby and Maddy stand victorious.
Off in the distance we see two figures slaying everything in sight. Like twin ninjas in medieval gear, the pair move in unison, taking down opponent after opponent as Tibby and Maddy look on.
Maddy: I think that's them...
Tibby: Let's Go!
They slowly walk across the field towards the duo, just as the duo begins to march towards their direction. It seems as if this is destiny unfolding when the evening sun rests just above the horizon as they meet face to face.
Standing across from Tibby and Maddy in full winter LARP gear, is the Super Junior Triple Crown Hardcore Champion of the World Hideto Matusda and his pop singer girlfriend Minami.
The pair are wearing nearly matching black armor with gray fur lining, except Matsuda's chest plate has a Japanese devil imprinted on it, while Minami's is imbroidered with thorns. Matsuda wields two styrofoam short swords, Spartacus style, Minami holds a latex spear with a nerf tip.
Matsuda: What are you doing here?!
Instead of replying Tibby attacks Suda, deliver a soft blow to his forehead.
Matsuda: Your not supposed to do that!
Tibby hits him again, Maddy follows up by hitting Minami.
Matsuda: Your breaking FPR, stop it.
Dupree: Never, DEATH BLOW!
Tibby grabs the front of Suda's breastplate and rips it off his chest. Minami and Maddy are wacking each other repeatedly with their soft weapons. Matsuda has had enough and goes at Tibby with his swords.
Every rule of LARP is being broken, mundanes in street clothes, illegal touching, head and groin shots. As the members of OMG whale on each other with fake weapons one of the Admins wanders onto the scene and begins shouting.
Admin: HOLD! HOLD!
Matsuda: DIE DIE DIE!
Dupree: No you DIE DIE DIE!!!
Admin: I SAID HOLD!!
OMG ignore the admin and continue to fight, no selling death blow after death blow.
Admin: THAT'S IT! BATTLE OVER, EVERYONE STOP!
The other LARPers come towards the admin, nearly a hundred of them crowd around to watch OMG act a fool. Finally exhausted Tibby, Maddy, Suda and Minami sit in the snow catching their breath.
Admin: Hideto, this is unacceptable, have ruined the entire event, you and your friends are to leave immediately.
Matsuda: But...But I didn't.... he started it.
He points directly at Tibby who cracks his classic half smile.
Admin: I don't care if your some famous wrestler, in this realm your just like everyone else. And I'll make sure you'll never LARP in the Midwest again, I can promise you that.
Tibby helps Madeline to her feet as Minami scurries to Matsuda's side. OMG stand together in the snow as people retreat to the pavilion.
Matsuda: You always ruin everything.
The camera fades as Tibby cracks his classic half smile again.
The cameras cut to show King Tyga walking to do his locker room with what we can assume is one of his personal trainers beside him. The assistant is holding an ice pack on Tyga's pack as Tyga holds his head from the missed Diving Headbutt. Their path is soon cut short as Stacy Clark appears.
Stacy Clark : King Tyga, can you explain how you feel about that loss to Mr. D'Angelo?
Tyga's trainer hands him the ice pack and says something in Spanish before nodding his head, causing Tyga continues to his locker room.
Trainer : Sorry, King Tyga isn't filling too well at the moment, what with the potential concussion and the bruised feelings. Instead, I shall be filling in for him.
Stacy Clark : Right. Well, what do you think caused King Tyga to lose his first single's match here in OCW?
Trainer : Me and Mr. Tyga had actually been discussing that post-match and it was pointed out that attempting a Diving Headbutt while Mr. D'angelo still had a little left in tank was the cause of defeat. However, Mr. Tyga is one to learn from experience and knows not to attempt it next time.
Stacy Clark : You mentioned something about a concussion earlier, do you think he'll be okay?
Trainer : Certainly, certainly. Mr. Tyga is a very strong warrior and has suffered much worse at the hands of better opponents. He'll be more than one hundred percent in time for his next match.
Before we can hear the next line of Stacy's questions, the cameras cut over to show a man peering from around the corner.
???: I have found him again. He won't slip me this time!
Drago Cesar appears into the view of the camera looking slightly irritated.
Drago Cesar: I know his locker room number now! Poor cat must be freed from being slave of the trainer! Drago must save this tiger from certain doom!
Drago peers down the hallway to see King Tyga enter a room. Once the door closes, Drago crouches toward the room, the cameraman following him. Drago stops at one of the rooms.
Drago Cesar: It's this one, correct?
Cameraman: I think so.
Drago Cesar: You think so?
Cameraman: I don't know, I couldn't really tell if this one was it or if it was the other one down there.
Drago Cesar: Doesn't matter, the trainer can't hide this cat for long.
He puts his finger against his mouth to signal the cameraman to be quiet, and uses his other hand to slowly, but surely creep open the door. After opening it a little, he silently counts down from three and bursts into the room!
Drago Cesar: YOU CANNOT RUN AWAY FROM M-
Drago stops dead in his tracks as he walks in on Queen Tyga....in the nude (the camera unable to catch it though). His jaw is gaping open as Queen Tyga yells at him and covers herself up. Drago quickly shuts the door, looking at the camera with his eyes wide open and his jaw dropped.
Cameraman: Drago.......You all right, man?
Drago Cesar: Yes......I think I need glass of water, yeah? Let's go back to my locker room.....
Drago walks off the view of the camera as the segment fades to black.
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What just happened? |
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Umm... Wow. |
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Matsuda lit the fire... he always lights the fire. |
The camera pans to the titantron where we see our acting CEO, Leonheart. The crowd boo.
Leonheart: “Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with sad news that I your hero can’t be here in Denver Colorado tonight.”
The fans cheers.
Leonheart: “I have some important matters to take care off with the board that has prevented me from being here tonight. These important matters are to do with the future of this company.”
Leonheart: “That being said, security is still in full force as Riot still continues to be on lockdown. I have made sure of that and you all have nothing to worry about.”
The fans boo at Leon.
Leonheart: “So now I am going to leave Riot in the hands of the new OCW champion… ENJOY!!!”
Johnny Phoenix vs Luke Fuentes vs Justin Raze
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BRAWL |
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4 ALLL |
The scene opens up to the backstage area of the arena where the camera is following Dr. Lindsey Rothschild Esquire down the hallway. Loud, siren-esque, music can be heard coming from one of the dressing rooms in the direction that Dr. Rothschild is traveling. The door is open and both the camera and Dr. Rothschild turn into the doorway where they are greeted by The Storms in an impromptu duet; definitely one of those things you only do when no one’s around. Your Champion has his belt by the top of the strap and is singing into it like it’s a microphone.
Cherese Lee-Storm: “You’re unbelievable. So unbelievable. You ruin everything, so you better go home!”
Cody Storm: “I’m unbelievable!”
Cherese: “Yeah!”
Cody: “I’m undefeatable!”
Cherese: “Yeah!”
Cody: “Let’s ruin everything! Blast into the back row!”
At this point Dr. Rothschild has heard enough and loudly clears her throat. You can see that the back of Cody’s ears are turning red as he slowly wraps his championship back around his waist and very slowly turns around as Cherese goes to turn off the music.
Cody Storm: “Well….. That’s embarrassing.”
Rothschild: “Quite. You’re only reinforcing that I’ve made the right decision.”
Cody Storm: “Exsqueezeme?”
Rothschild: “I’ve decided, since Leonheart is out of the building tonight, that I’m calling the shots.
Cody Storm: "Shouldn't there be a few more links in this chain of command?"
Cody's attempt to throw Lindsey off didn't even make her flinch.
Rothschild: "Most importantly, I’m in charge of looking out for OCW, and as anyone in the back here tonight will tell you, this….”
Rothschild points up and down at Your Champion.
Rothschild: “Is not what OCW needs. Not now, not ever. You said you were a ‘supremely confident World Champion’ well tonight you get to prove it. I’ve decided to push up your title defense. Tonight you’re main event match against Tobin Frost is actually going to be for the OCW World Heavyweight Championship. I hope you’ve had your fun because tonight OCW’s getting back on track.”
Rothschild turns on her heel and walks back down the hallway the way that she came. The scene fades out with Your Champion yelling down the hallway at her.
Cody Storm: “Two champions, only one belt on the line. THAT’S RACIST!”
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