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The scene opens around 30 minutes before the doors of the U.S. Bank Arena open, for tonight's scheduled OCW Riot show, fans can be seen queuing at all sides of the arena, or just generally wandering around passing the time until the doors open, a lone figure can be seen seated on one of the side edges of central bridge, overlooking the Ohio river, he seems to be throwing bottles into the river from upon the bridge.
A pedestrian out sight seeing notices this and walks over towards the man, the closer he gets, he realizes that the seated man is actually writing on small parchments of paper, sealing them into individual glass bottles, and then tossing them into the river.
Man : Excuse me sir, may I ask what you are doing? Apart from polluting the river?
The man turns to face the pedestrian, and it is none other than The Legend of Cut-Throat himself!
Cut-Throat : Has ye ever heard of The Legend of Cut-Throat??
Man : I'm sorry, I can't say that I have.
Cut-Throat : Really? The man who once ate part of his own foot to get out of a bar debt.
Man : No.
Cut-Throat : The man who once fought off 2 great white sharks armed with only a chicken bone and a turtle shell?
Man : No.
Cut-Throat seems to be growing increasingly agitated at the lack of recognition.
Cut-Throat : The very same man who held onto a bucking bronco for over 4 minutes using only his teeth?
Man : Again no.
Cut-Throat : Surely ye must have heard of the fully grown man who sat down to pee of his own accord??
Man : What? No...this is ridiculous.
Cut-Throat pulls on his beard and points the tail end towards the man.
Cut-Throat : A man who bound his own beard with his very own foreskin that he removed with the tooth of a monkey???? Ye MUST have heard of him!!!
Man : I'm sorry, but is this some kind of hidden camera show? I'm on tv right?
Cut-Throat : Have ye no respect for the man who lost a nipple to an ill tempered lobster??? What kind of soulless sea dog be ye?
Man : I fail to see how this has anything to do with you throwing glass bottles into the river.
Cut-Throat : Much like ye can't stop the signal, the Legend must continue...
Man : What signal? What legend?
Cut-Throat : I be spreading the legend..the tales of Cut-Throat, they be washing away in them there bottles, and they be found on all edges of the world.
Man : Isn't it just easier to tweet?
Cut-Throat : Excuse me?
Man : You're trying to spread some kind of message to lots of people, correct?
Cut-Throat : Aye.
Man : Then just use Twitter.
Cut-Throat : Ye be speaking in forked tongue.
Man : Just go on your phone, download the Twitter app, and tweet your'legend', it's much faster than messages in a bottle..this isn't the 1600's, you do have a cell phone right?
Cut-Throat : A cell phone?
Man : Yes, a phone, you know, to talk to people at a distance.. [the man pulls his iphone out of his pocket and holds it up next to his ear and pretends to talk on it]
Cut-Throat : Ah yes..I have a 'phone' as ye call it.
He reaches into his inside jacket pocket, and proceeds to pull out two half coconut shells wrapped in a long piece of string which joins the shells in the middle.
Man : What on god's earth is that?
Cut-Throat : This be my 'phone'.
Man : I'm definitely on tv.
Cut-Throat : How does this get me on a Twitter?
Man : That won't, this will [ he shows him his iphone screen as he flicks through his Twitter app, all the time Cut-Throat looks amazed at what he is seeing]
Man : Let me show you.
The man spends about 5 minutes setting up a Twitter account for Cut-Throat, and trying , in vain, to explain how it works.
Man : There you go..now then, give me a part of this 'legend' you want people to know.
Cut-Throat : Cut-Throat once broke a coconut in half with only a single clench of his buttocks!
Cut-Throat : The Legend continues.....
Man : That's complete nonsense, but ok.... [he begins to type it into his phone]
Cut-Throat : Nonsense ye say? How do ye think I got my phone? [He holds the halved coconut up to the man]
Man : I doubt that even works.
Cut-Throat : May I have a look at this 'tweet'?
The man turns his phone round to face Cut-Throat, who grabs it from the man's hand.
Cut-Throat : This be a new kind of sorcery that I don't understand, and I must be getting to the arena, for tonight I face the King of the Jungle... but I be taking this device of devilry with me, the Legend must continue!
He turns to start walking away.
Man : Wait..you're stealing my phone? I don't think so, give it back!
Cut-Throat [points to himself] : Pirate...mate.
Man [shouting] : HELP! HELP! STOP! THIEF!!
Cut-Throat : Easy there, stop that infernal racket!! I shall compensate ye...hand me that sack [he points to his familiar green sack that is just behind the man's feet]
Man : I doubt you have anything I want..just give me my damn phone back!!
The man turns and bends down to get the sack, he grabs the top with his hands and is just about to lift it when Cut-Throat pushes him hard in the butt with his boot.
Cut-Throat : NO ONE TOUCHES ME SACK!!
The man stumbles forward and straight off the side of the bridge and splashes into the river below as Cut-Throat looks on, the man begins frantically flapping his arms about and shouting for help.
Man : HELP!! cough! splutter! I'm not a good swimmer!! HELP!!
Cut-Throat : MAN OVERBOARD!! Hang on matey!!
He unravels the coconuts and string to its full extent, and tosses one half down towards the man in the river.
Cut-Throat : GRAB THAT!
The man splashes and flaps his way over to the floating shell and grabs onto it with both hands, clinging to it for dear life as Cut-Throat takes the weight at his end.
Man [shouting up] : NOW WHAT??
Cut-Throat begins to motion with his half of the coconut for the man to hold his half up against his ear, which he manages to do with some effort as he is still kicking away just to stay afloat.
Cut-Throat places his half against his mouth and speaks into it.
Cut-Throat : HOIST THE COLORS!!
He ties the string around one of the railings, grabs his sack, and begins to run towards the arena as the man is left shouting abuse at him whilst holding onto the string for dear life.
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Live from Cincinati, Oh-Hi-Oh.
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Good evening ladies and germs, what an obscure start to another edition of OCW Riot! |
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Hoist the colors! |
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Not right now. |
OCW's flagship show, Riot, begins with Your World Heavyweight Champion, Cody Storm for those of you who may not have purchased OCW's Road to Glory show last weekend, already standing in the ring. He has a microphone already and seems unhappy, rather unsettled.
Cody Storm: "You know when I won the World Heavyweight Championship I knew things weren't going to be pretty for me in this company. I knew that not only was I going to have a target painted on my back just because of the nature of the beast..."
Cody rubs the faceplate of the World title strapped around his waist.
Cody Storm: "....but before I could even face Paul in that match everyone was already up in arms. Most of OCW made it clear they weren't going to support me as their World Heavyweight Champion, and that's fine. I expected that, but to have what happened at Road to Glory happen...."
Cody Storm: "To have a man that received his first one on one title shot in his near ten year career thanks to me talk about me as he did prior to our match, calling me a false idol, telling me that God, MY FATHER, was on his side..... UNACCEPTABLE OCW!"
Cody Storm: "Where was your God last weekend Dangelo? Why is it that I'm standing here with this title now and you're not? Was it because you were held back? No, I took the chains off you and gave you what you've claimed to deserve for so long. Was it because you didn't get a fair shot? No, everything about that match was legit, you lost your title shot fair and square. It's because I AM the Son of God! Don't believe me, just ask my mother, she'll tell you!"
Cody has to stop talking for a moment here because the fans are boo'ing too loudly for anyone to hear what he has to say, even with the microphone.
Cody Storm: "You want to play games with me OCW? You want to persecute me? Make me into OCW's pariah? Just because I want to make things better for this industry? You want to screw me OCW?"
Cody Storm: "Well how about SCREW YOU! You don't have my back so I went out there and found those that do! Allow me to introduce first, Tampa's golden child. A man that puts entertaining you all and giving you your money's worth above all else, and a man I've been in this business with since 2007: Jonny D."
Jonny D: "Some of my 'fans' might be surprised to see me in an OCW ring. A ring I despise. A ring that symbolizes the wrongs of wrestling. A ring that represents those that live in the past.
This mentality that if you're not part of this 'ruling class' you're not going fu#$@*# over. Outside looking in I see this castle, but its just a dark age castle living in modern times. I see you all standing there in the dark ages. Living in your own shit.
You guys stand there happy with yourselves, as you try to stop men like cody from rising to the top. Being hypocrites you guys stand there snickering at guys like me who actually try to entertain fans with their ring work.
But today I get to snicker. Every day Cody is champion, every day Cody stomps all over OCW I get to smirk and smile as this castle comes crashing down. Why would I do that, well the only thing you have to know about me is that....."
Jonny points towards himself for emphasis.
Jonny D: "I'm Jonny D!"
D hands the microphone back to Your World Heavyweight Champion who begins to introduce his next guest.
Cody Storm: "And our final guest of the evening. The same man that dropped Dangelo to the mat last Sunday night. The same man that has been my best friend in this industry since I entered it. The Disasterpiece, Wheeler"
Wheeler takes the microphone from his friend and begins to lay into OCW as a whole.
Wheeler: "So this is where the big boys play huh? Well look at th-no wait that line's been used before. Let's try this again."
Wheeler: "Ahem, for those of you who have been living in what my good friend Jonny D described as a 'dark age castle', allow me to introduce myself. My name is Wheeler, and I'm gonna keep this nice and simple for you OCW morons."
Wheeler: "See, while our buddy Cody here has been carving his path of utter domination all the way to the top of your little company, Jonny and I have also running the show 'over there' . Jonny and I have also been running the show 'over there' . He and I have been called many names over the years, but you people can just call us...'the Blacklist'. Fitting isn't it?And one day we got a call from our friend, asking us for a little favor. Simply put, he asked us to come to Riot and help watch his back, because he knew you all didn't have it."
Wheeler: "Needless to say, we accepted his offer and now you all have the pleasure of viewing the greatest alliance ever formed. So consider this a heads-up OCW; no one is safe. We will take down your heroes, we'll pick apart your 'inner circle', and at the end of the day you will have only yourselves to blame."
He hands the microphone back to Storm who steps out in front so the camera can see him clearly.
Cody Storm: "This wasn't my first choice OCW...
Cody Storm: "I called them in as a last resort. They showed up on Riot a month ago just to make sure everything went down fairly. Rothschild tried to break the rules, and so they had to step in. But until now, they've been tame; held back. Last weekend when K.D. showed for the entire organization that there's not a single person here who appreciates what I'm trying to do, when he tried to call me a fraud, when he tried to tell me that I wasn't truly The Son of God, after I gave him everything he's wanted here in OCW. There was nothing to be said for that. I AM THE SON OF GOD!. I AM YOUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! If you try to get one over on me you will have HELL to pay!"
Cody throws the microphone down on the ground while silently mouthing the word "Slam..." before the three men exit the ring and head to the backstage area.
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The camera pans to the announce team.
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Umm.. |
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Trevor is looking good for his age. |
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...and we're moving on. |
We cut backstage to Dr. Lindsay Rothschild Esq. M.D., who is at a podium in front of a small group of local press eager to hear what the Bombshell Director and Part Owner of OCW Inc had to say.
Lindsay: Ladies and gentlemen, these are exciting times in the OCW! And though the power structures are shifting beneath us, I stand alone, a pillar of excellence in this desolate wasteland.
Lindsay: However I am not here to discuss my private meetings with Mr. Sensation about his place in the company moving forward--I am here to talk about my brain child. This, is the state of the Bombshell division.
Lindsay: Now last week I had gotten a lot of, what do you carny folks call it? Heat? For my treatment of those insolent transhumanoids that call themselves Betty Ford. But my Bombshield made a statement last week at Road to Glory.
Lindsay: You are either for MY Bombshell Initiative, or you have to answer to me and the board of directors. That is all.
Jackie Blackfoot vs Brittania
The commentary team look up from their notes on the upcoming segment.
Scaggs: Earlier today we had the chance to see what Jacob Trance has been doing since his loss to Justin Raze.
Polling: Is it comfort eating? I bet it's comfort eating...
Scaggs: Well Al, let's roll the footage and find out.
The screen fades as the camera focuses on the video wall in the arena as the pre-recorded segment runs.
We find ourselves outside if a church, a banner is on prominent display above the entrance, it reads 'A Reading by the Very Good Jacob Trance.' The camera pans upwards showing the church tower, the bell rings out for a minute or so before an every silence overtakes the kirk yard. Then. Jacobs voice booms out of numerous speakers artistically hidden within the buildings structure.
Jacob: My children, they want to see blood. They want to see hate but together we can say no, together we can deny these animals their sick necessity of perversion.
The camera crew climb the stairs, and open the doors to find Jacob standing not on the stage by the pulpit but instead amongst the congregation. He notices the intrusion and points towards them, a lucid smile on his face.
Jacob: And there are those too afraid to lead, those that must follow... Those people let FEAR rule their lives, these people would tell you to fear ME!
Jacob throws his head back and begins laughing before a sudden twitch changes his expression to one of disdain.
Jacob: Such people do not understand, they brand me a charlatan, a mad man... They tell you this is a cult... THEY ARE WRONG!
Jacob punches the nearest row of chairs drawing blood from his hand. He waits until it has a good flow before holding it up for all to see, his voice now a controlled shout.
Jacob: I bleed for my flock! Witness that we are a collective, when one of the family bleed we all feel the pain, we are one, we are brethren!
Jacob turns his back on the camera and drops to his knees.
Jacob: I am a leader, a beacon of enlightenment and if you disagree I challenge you to strike me down. I challenge you to feed that beast inside of your heart, your precious ego. Be the best, hone your craft... It's all a lie I feed the machine.
Jacob chuckles darkly.
Jacob: People... Left me alone in the dark all these years as a sort of punishment... But silence and isolation enabled me to think... To help, nay SAVE these people!
Jacob rises, picking up a bible. He climbs back onto the pulpit, in red letters the gilt edged title of the Good Book has been scrawled over with the word "Ego."
Jacob: Too many people are listening to this mans lies, too many people are vying into all of these lies...
Jacob holds the book up in both hands and to rapturous applause rips the book in half.
Jacob: Now my brethren you will listen, you will be free... Now can I get an Amen?!
Jacob drops to his knees clutching at his head as the crowd chant "Amen" in unison. He gets back to his feet and heads towards the side room laughing madly ice out of view and earshot of his audience.
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