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The camera pans to the announce team.
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Good day people, and welcome to episode 394 of Riot!! |
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Let's get this over with..i have to find the Black Garden!! |
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We cut to a shaky camera in a heavily wooded area as a cameraman stumbles about soaking wet leaves in an effort to keep his lens in focus to little avail. The end result seems like something out of the Blair Witch Project--the unsteady hand focuses on a rotted out wooden sign that reads "Father Jacob's Family Compound" in messy red script.
As the camera enters the compound, the holder finds himself lost in a crowd of the poor and downtrodden--followers of a new religion who's message grows stronger every day. We hear a familiar voice from a nearby abandoned building, repurposed as some sort of dark sanctuary.
Upon closer inspection, it becomes obvious that the man on the pulpit was none other than the cult leader himself, Jacob Trance, fully indulging in his month long vacation which he secured last week. His OCW title positioned at the alter.
Trance: …And the sheep ask me, is Jacob Trance crazy? Why live in this compound away from society and normalcy? The answer is simple.
Trance: Am I the crazy one? Of course they say Jacob Trance is mad as a hatter, but what difference does it make? A long time ago being crazy meant something. But aren't we all crazy? Isn't this world crazy? And so I say to you my children we are the lone bastions of light living on the premise of reality! It is our job as the enlightened to lead people out of the darkness and into my light.
Congregation: Amen.
Trance: People like K.Dangelo--with all the potential in the world to become whatever he wants but he is held back by a corrupt system determined to deny him.
Congregation: Amen.
Trance: People like Luke Fuentes, who will serve as a parable that the prodigal son ALWAYS returns to his father… whether he wants to or not…
Congregation: Amen.
Trance: And people like Hideto Matsuda, who although blinded by an unquenchable thirst for these earthly golden belts shows us that our enemies can grant us the greatest gifts of all. Reassurance and opportunity.
Congregation: Amen.
Trance: So to you I say, brothers and sisters, our time draws near. I will lead you to the mountaintop so long as you believe with all your heart. Believe in this cause. Believe in this title. Believe in me. For there are other worlds than these.
Congregation: There are other worlds than these. Amen.
The scene fades to black and we return to Riot.
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Believe in the Shi... |
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Family. |
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*previously recorded*
*The camera fading into the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, people walking every which way as the camera stats to follow one of the passengers as he makes his way towards the baggage claim. The passenger keeping his head down and hood covering his face as he picks his bags up and continues on his way.*
*The passenger shaking his head as he makes his way from baggage claim, looking up at the signs and heading towards the rent a car section of the airport.*
????: *Sighing as he looks over at the line for cars* Every time, this is just getting ridiculous *looking around * Now this is just too easy….
*The passenger turns around and starts for the door. Making his way over towards a limo driving standing outside holding a sign reading OCW - D’Wonder*
????: Really you have to have a sign?
Driver: Sorry I am new to the company didn’t want to …..
????: *Handing his bags over to the driver as he slides into the limo* Well now you know, and back in the Golden Era they wouldn't need no damn signs
*The driver taking the bags as he quickly puts them in the back. The camera panning back around as the man slides his hood off the top of his head revealing it to be Marvelous Austin Lee. Reaching into his pocket pulling his vaporizer out taking a hit.*
Marvelous Austin Lee: #Good Guy Austin D’Wonder.
*The camera fades to black as the Limo pulls off*
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Ugggh..he said 'Golden Era'. |
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I can feel the Ambition class talking about the summer of '98. |
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Bombshell Action!!
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The scene opens up in a large parking lot somewhere in Fort Lauderdale. At that moment, a rusty brown Buick car pulls off the main road and enters the parking lot. Inside is none other than the Blacklist, Jonny D behind the wheel, while Wheeler can be overheard cursing at his cellphone before hanging up.
Wheeler: FUUUUUUHHHHHH-
The screeching sound of the Buick’s breaks covers the sound of Wheeler’s frustration as Jonny D strategically parks his car sideways in the last vacant handicap space.
Wheeler: Well, it’s official. The higher ups at OCW decided that they “don’t officially recognize the Blacklist as Tag Team Champions.”
Jonny D: Did you even get past the receptionist?
Wheeler: No…
Jonny D: And that’s why Wheeler we’re here in this great place called America. The land of opportunity n stufz. We’re going to America the shit outta OCW by doing what Americans do best.
Wheeler: We’re gonna blow them up?!
Jonny D: Sorta…
Wheeler: YES! And we should start with those stupid Asian guys! Did you hear the things they said about us last week?
Jonny D: They said they’d take our titles.
Wheeler: Well, according to the suits we don’t even HAVE titles for them to take.
After Wheeler makes a very depressed sigh Jonny D pats him on the back pointing offscreen. With the agility of a dolphin Wheeler takes a look.
Jonny D: And that’s why we’re here.
Wheeler: Dude we’re just in front of a K-Mart.
The camera angle shifts revealing that the parking lot the Blacklist is inside is actually that of a K-Mart.
Jonny D: Everyone thinks that since those golden boys hold official OCW titles that makes them better than us. Tonight its a clash of champions and champions and champions. Wheeler we’re the tag team champions no matter what anyone else says. Tonight we declare ourselves the Unofficial OCW Blacklist Tag Team Champions of K-Mart.
Wheeler: I think I get it now! You’re a genius! After this, sooner or later they are going to have no choice but to recognize us as the World Tag Team Champions FOREVER!
Both: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA HA!!!
The two men then exit the vehicle and make their entrance into K-Mart as Wheeler begins to blast the Blacklist theme song from his phone for the world to hear.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! |
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Sissies!! |
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Commercial
Coming soon to DVD
OCW From the vault featuring Sideshow
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