After the surprise Liberation Frequency to Christian Shepard, Minio plays to the crowd for a second before going to help Cort, who’s rolled out of the ring near the still-out Maxwale. Shepard takes the opportunity to escape as well, mouthing obscenities at Minio before groggily exiting via the aisle.
The One Man Revolution helps Cort to his feet and the two walk up the ramp together, crowd cheering for the heroic save. As they reach the top of the ramp, Minio wags his finger and pulls a microphone out of his tights!
Bobby Minio: No need to be alarmed but I always carry a spare! You just never know when you’ll need to address something over the PA system of a sports arena.
Minio turns to face Cort, his expression relaxing and catching Cort off guard as he has typically only seen a resentful sneer across Minio’s face when the two men have interacted.
Bobby Minio: Cort, our differences, consider them squared. I guess, at least on my side, you’re welcome to carry whatever chip on your shoulder that you feel obligated to but, my issues with you, the disrespect I’ve thrown your way for being brave enough to represent the spirit of this country, consider that crap stowed.
Cheers and clapping begins to break out sporadically as Cort looks towards the crowd to see if he should trust this sudden change in Minio’s approach.
Bobby Minio: Look, you have every right to be skeptical, I can’t fault you there, and before someone tries to float the idea that this is my way of ducking giving you a chance to settle the score and take that Pride Championship back, let it be known right now that I am telling you, if you succeed in your mission of earning that Number One contendership for the strap, well I’ll be here waiting for round three.
The two men both raise their chins up, and Minio extends a hand across the gap between the two men. There is a pregnant pause before Cort swings his hand out wide, catching Minio in a hand shake with a slap as the two palms meet ringing up into the rafters.
The crowd roars in approval at these two showing a sign of respect across the lines that have been drawn for the last few months.
They release the handshake as Minio nods to Cort, and turns to head backstage, leaving Cort to bask in the glow of the fans chanting his name, anticipating his run back towards a title shot. Cort raises a hand in silent thanks to the crowd as he too turns to walk to the backstage area.
As Cort disappears behind the curtain, the referee finally staggers to his feet… and who else but Maxwale to have been playing possum outside the ring!
He unsubtly glances back and forth before making a show of getting up and just barely sliding into the ring. He mouths something to the ref, who nods and begins counting.
From one to ten, there’s no sign of Cort as he’s long gone backstage. The ref calls for the bell, and Maxwale is declared the winner by countout!
The crowd boo at this opportunism, but Maxwale celebrates characteristically, suddenly jumping back to life and running multiple victory laps around the ring as his theme plays.
The Camera Pans To The X-Tron
The scene opens in the backstage infirmary.
Valkyrie is seen laying in the infirmary bed, with her eyes closed. Her midsection heavily taped as a consequence for the brutal handicap match she was put through just moments ago.
In that moment you can see the Inception leader, H2O, entering the room. He then picks up a chair and sits next to her.
Valkyrie: …
H2O eyes remain deep into Valkyrie’s eyes.
H2O: It feels so bad having to confront you while you are in this state but there are so many rumors on the internet. Rumors about you and… you know who.
Valkyrie takes a deep breath and closes her eyes once again, as if she was trying to find refuge in her mind. H2O raises an eyebrow and his stare becomes more intense.
H2O: Some say you are going to turn your back on me and return to Kasstianity. I have to see things clear. What is going on with you?
Valkyrie suddenly opens her eyes again.
Valkyrie: You know the boot that concussed Belle on Ambition? I took it and kicked out.
Valkyrie: The rebound lariat that killed so many other competitors? I took it and kicked out, again.
Valkyrie: I endured that torture for 20 minutes. And I was so close to do the unthinkable. But then, my body simply gave up. I collapsed to the mat and Moore took me out.
Valkyrie: The doctors said I might be injured again. A concussion and a fractured rib, they say.
Valkyrie bites her lips and stops for a moment.
Valkyrie: They are torturing me to mess with your head. This Handicap match happened purely because they want to punish me for being a part of Inception. Can't you see?
H2O: ...
Valkyrie: TALK TO ME!
Valkyrie’s expression is a mixture of pain, hatred and frustration. She can barely breathe.
H2O: Like you, I had two opponents to ward off; An Old Scrum and a Disgusting Worm. If you read between the lines of that match you would’ve seen it was a bit in the handicap match side of things. Did you notice their celebration after I was eliminated…
Valkyrie: Y-
H2O: No! You didn’t. After that match that’s when the rumors started flying in the locker room that I choked!
H2O stands up out of his chair with his hand over his eyes and the other in his jacket pocket. He takes his thumb and middle finger to message his temples and relax himself. A sense of calmness continues to emit from H2O’s voice.
H2O: The Good Light that protects me from the dark religious travesty, Kasstianity, is telling me to keep my eyes on you.
H2O: You may not know this but your eyes are confessing everything that your heart truly desires. What I’m doing is not called staring, but searching for the goodness may or may not reside there.
H2O: Heather got real deep over head and allowed something to haunt her possibly for the rest of her life.
He takes and deep breath and exhales extensively. H2O takes a step in and places his hand over Valkyrie’s.
H2O: I want you to be there when the war begins. So get well soon, Valk.
Valkyrie: I've just been tortured and humiliated for twenty minutes because of my relationship with you. Now I have a fractured rib, I can't even freaking breathe and the…
Valkyrie stops for a moment to catch her breath. The pain is too much for her.
Valkyrie: And… and the best thing you can do is to come here and lecture me? How dare you compare me to Heather?! How dare YOU raise your voice against ME?
H2O: See… this anger. This is not the Valkyrie I know. Maybe Ashley is right. Maybe… Maybe you are still a Kasstian.
Valkyrie’s eyes are now wide open. She is flabbergasted by his words.
Valkyrie: I… I can't believe… I can't believe what you just said…
H2O: I'm not saying you are, I'm just…
Valkyrie: GET THE HELL OUT! I don't want to talk to you anymore!
A tear is now running down Valkyrie’s left cheek. She is still favoring her midsection and her expression is showing all the physical pain she is feeling.
H2O puts his hands back in his pockets and turns around. He takes a deep breath and then he leaves the room.
The camera pans to the announce team.
No!
HAH!
The P3 Soundstage System 5000 is blasting loud German techno as the camera shows all the lovely audience members dancing like its 1992. Drago and Mugen are seen wearing baggy leather tracksuits and huge Gucci sunglasses as they start dancing and walking in with a group of beautiful women.
Mugen: GUTEN TAG. MY NAME IST MUNILLI
Drago: AND I AM DRILLI
Mugen: AND…….TOGETHER
Drago: WE ARE…..
Both: DRILLI MUNILLI
Instead of doing an air guitar duet like the usual, the pair instead do an air…...keyboard session. Drilli and Munilli shoo away the women as they make their way to their seats. The camera pans over to “Fred Durst” who looks confused as he’s sitting in front of a Korg keyboard.
“Fred Durst”: The f*** am I gonna do with this?
“Fred” starts banging his head into the keyboard before he knocks himself backwards into his own seat.
Mugen: Ja, we are das hottest new duo not only in ze wrestling ring but also in ze music business. Wunderkinds if you must.
Drago: Ja ja, uber fantastich.
Mugen: Our hit song, MatsudaAaAaA has hit ze Billboard #1 Chart in record time.
Drago: Wunderbar!
Bubba growls in German.
Mugen: We also just received word from das Music Academy dat we are nominated for das Grammy.
The live studio audience cheer in German.
Drago: Tonight we give das greatest performance of our hit song.
Mugen: But before we do zis, we will have to welcome our newest guest to ze show. International music superstar and part of DAS RHYME TYME.
Drago: BUDDY BUUUURRRRNNNNSSSS
The studio audience claps in German as German techno starts blasting. Buddy raising his hands in the air to the beat of the music and dances his way on over to Bubba and Drago on the couch.
Buddy: WHATS UP? Thanks for having me on the show b. Always a good time when Rhyme Tyme is in the houuuuuuuuuuuuuuse.
Mugen: Ja ja, wilkommen wilkommen!
Buddy takes a seat on the couch while Drago stands up.
Buddy: Why you gotta leave the couch b?
Drago: Is being polite, ja ja.
Bubba grunts in German.
Buddy: So what got y’all into the music business?
Mugen pulls up a PowerPoint presentation of the events at The Clash, starting with Matsuda’s return.
Mugen: Zat is one of my good friends, ve used to be part of ze C4.
The next picture in the slideshow is of Drago getting kicked in the groin by Matsuda.
Mugen: But zen he vent und kicked my friend in ze Bälle!
The slideshow transitions to Matsuda and Spider standing tall over P3.
Mugen: So as ve envisioned for zis show, ve vanted to turn zis experience und channel positive energy. So ve make song for zat trashy täuschen Matsuda. Ven ve see him in das ring along vith das Spider, it vill be a hell of a WICTORY. I PROMISE!!!!!!!
Drago raises his arms in anger.
Drago: MATSUDAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Buddy looks around, turning himself into a thinking emoji.
Buddy: Damn b…….That’s deep.
He points to his noggin while Mugen and Drago point at their noggins.
Buddy: REAL DEEP.
But then Buddy points to his crotch!
Buddy: …..DEEP IN DEEZ NUTZ!!!!
Mugen and Drago: OOOOOOHHHHHHH
Mugen falls out of his chair while Drago flops onto the floor. They get up as a few staff members set up some Korg keyboards and a drum machine.
Buddy: Aaaaawwwww s***!!!!!!
Mugen: Und now! Drilli Munilli perform ze best song in ze world! MATSUDAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
The studio audience goes nuts as Mugen and Drago start playing their number one hit.
Drago: Matsuda. Matsuda. Matsuda. Matsuda.
The pair start playing their keyboard mix. Buddy bobs his head to the beat.
Buddy: Yee. Yee. YEE!!!!!
Mugen: Here ve go! One, two, three!!!
Everyone: MATSUDAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Everyone: MATSUDAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The entire soundstage is getting lit. However, this doesn’t last long. Suddenly, the keyboards and the drum machine stand fall to the floor with a thud that reverberates throughout the soundstage. The music is still playing, and the vocals are still heard although Mugen and Drago aren’t singing. Bubba has one of the keyboards between his jaws. Buddy stands in shock and points to them.
Buddy: Hey! Y’all weren’t really playing that song! You ain’t even singing! Y’ALL ARE PHONIES!
