We pan over to the P3 Soundstage 9000. Several spotlights light up the stage and a strange announcer can be heard from over the speaker.
???: LLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE BRING YOU THE GREATEST TALK SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE……
???: THE P3 BONANZAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
The screeches of a strange creature are heard followed by the screams of the announcer. The announcer’s voice cuts out and the lights are dimmed.
A creepy growl is heard around the soundstage, with a pair of strangely shaped shadowy figures roaming around.
Their heads are shaped similarly to a football, and their spiky tails stretch halfway across the stage. The lights come on, and the studio audience scream at what’s in front of them.
The one-eyed xenomorphs crawl around the stage, hissing at the crowd. “Fred Durst” faints behind the drumset.
The camera pans over behind the curtain to a shirtless Mugen and Drago wearing bandanas, carrying plasma-powered rifles that look bigger than they are. They come out to the stage and face the aliens head on.
Drago: Let’s attack aggressively!
Mugen: SKKRRRRAAAAAAA
They blast the aliens with the rifles, causing purple alien goo to be launched all over the place. Drago and Mugen try to wipe away the goo from themselves, then put on a jersey and a suit, respectively.
Bubba crawls over to “Fred” and nudges him. “Fred” stirs and is horrified at the alien blood around the stage. He sits up while Drago and Mugen take their seats.
Mugen: Another day, another universe saved from those damn aliens.
Drago: They not gonna take our planet!
Mugen: Anyways, back to the action! Old sport, would you kindly introduce our guest for the show tonight.
Suddenly, Drago’s expression changes to that of nervousness.
Drago: Uh….Sure. She won for her t-team at Road 2 Glory. She is, uh, royalty in her homeland or something. Please welcome Empress!
Empress walks out from around the curtains she has a huge smile on her face and her eyes are wide like a child walking into Disneyland for the first time.
She’s wearing an oversized P3 Bonanza shirt and carrying plush Bubba and P3 merchandise in her arms.
Empress: Eeeeeeeeeek! Oh..my...God. It’s Real! It’s exactly how I pictured it right down to the Alien blood covered audience!
She drops her items on the soundstage floor and runs over to give Drago a big bear hug. She starts slapping and pinching Drago’s cheeks with over excitement.
Empress: Ah! OH MY GOD! You’re the Real Drago! You’re like really real! Is that the real Bubba? It’s not like a hologram bubba is it?! It’s Fred’s Durst!
Empress’ eye shift over to Mugen as she lets out a high pitched scream of excitement. She pounces over the desk to hug Him. She lets out a heavy sigh.
Empress: Mmm..You smell just like your P3 Cologne. Can you sign my shirt?
Mugen: Sure! Always happy to please a loyal fan.
Mugen grabs a black permanent marker from his desk and signs the shirt. A giddy Empress sits next to Drago on the couch.
Mugen: Drago, why don’t you ask some questions for our esteemed guest.
He hands Drago a few cue cards to read from. He sees the cards then looks at Empress. Her smile causes Drago to stammer and start sweating.
Drago: U-uh…...Ok……
Drago runs his fingers through his hair and tries to read from the cue card.
Drago: Y-y-you won at Road 2 Glory, b-but in process y-y-you force Little Bubba out of company. How you f-feel?
Mugen notices that his co-host is sweating bullets, fanning himself with the cue cards to no effect.
Mugen: You all right old sport?
Drago slowly leans toward Mugen and replies in a hushed tone.
Drago: I’m be right back.
Empress: IT WAS GREAT I.......... um... Is he okay?
He scurries away from the soundstage, leaving Mugen and Empress to simply stare at each other. An awkward moment passes and Drago finally returns, carrying several stacks of towels and water bottles.
Bubba is behind him, carrying a fan between his jaws. Drago throws himself onto the couch, and places several towels over his head. Bubba places the fan right next to him and turns it on.
Drago: Oh! I’m more thirsty than Justin Raze on Sunday night!
“Fred Durst” is conveniently seated behind the drums and delivers a rimshot.
Drago opens five water bottles, then drenches himself with water. Empress jumps as water splashes on her from Drago. She peeks under his towels.
Empress: Are you okay? I can come back if this isn’t a good time?
Drago: Yes! No! Uh….
Drago removes the towels surrounding him.
Drago: I-I fine. Stay. Please stay.
Mugen stands up from his seat and grabs Drago by the jersey.
Mugen: KEEP IT TOGETHER MAN!
Drago: I JUST CAN’T DO IT CAPTAIN! I DON’T HAVE THE POWERRRRR!!
Mugen then backhand slaps Drago. In a professionally edited…..edit, Drago turns into a dummy with a wig and a jersey, and the force of the slap sends him flying over the couch, onto the floor.
Another cut sees Drago back on the couch, his body still drenched with water, but this time he seems to have calmed down. He reads the next set of cue cards.
Drago: So uh….People confuse you for my friend Mugen. Why you think this is?
Drago looks at Empress, then back at Mugen. He then looks back at Empress. And then back at Mugen. Bubba is behind him looking at Empress and Mugen along with Drago.
Drago: What going on here?
The camera shifts back and front between Mugen and Empress. The camera finally stops on Empress who is dressed like Mugen sitting behind the desk.
Empress: What are you talking about Old sport? You seem to be seeing things. I think you might be getting sick.
Empress: SPEAKING OF GETTING SICK! Segway! Here is a word from our sponsor! CORT LITE brewing company. Taste the same going down as it does coming up.
Drago points at Empress.
Drago: But wait. How you there? And if you there...it must mean…..
“Fred”: Take a look around!
Drago and Bubba turn to see Mugen dressed like Empress right beside them. Drago’s mouth is agape in complete shock.
Mugen: OOOOOHHHH MMMMYYYY GAAAAAWWWWWDDDD!!!! DRAGO! YOU TAILOR OF TIGERS!
Mugen hugs Drago. Drago looks to the hard camera and slaps his own face like he’s the kid from Home Alone.
Drago: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK
The camera pans to the announce team.
HAHAHAHAHA!
What the hell did I just watch.
The Camera Pans To The X-Tron
The camera pans to the back as the crowd, and announcers can see Jim Black. Black, standing microphone in hand is beside El Parca after his match with The Man Called Joopiter.
Jim Black: El Parca, seems as if your OCW debut didn't exactly go your way. How do you feel about the outcome of the match?
El Parca holding his waist sighs into the mic as he begins to talk too Jim.
El Parca: Honestly Jim, that was a very good fight from Joopiter. I wasn't expecting to find a replacement like him but, it was worth it.
Jim Black: How did the match go to you? Do you think you could have done anything different?
El Parca: Amigo, we cannot dwell on the past can we? The match albeit didn't go my way did go one way I intended. I gave those people a fight! El Parca smiles with glee after making that statement.
El Parca:
I know that at least tonight, right then and there. Those people understood who El Parca was.
El Parca:
That means more to me than winning right now. My dream is coming true and like me it will grow and get better the longer I am here!
Jim Black: Thank you El Parca I can't wait to see more of your matches.
El Parca: Gracias amigo! It means a lot Jim thank you thank you. Oh, and for anyone else watching. Don't forget I always want a fight! Thank you Jim see ya.
El Parca pats Jim on the back as he walks away. Jim looks back to the camera and nods as the camera pans back to the announcers table.
The camera pans to the announce team.
How very honorable!
Kid got a lot to learn!
TELOS vs ELLIOTT PARKER
The camera pans to the announce team.
GOD DAMN!
YIKES!
A gentle, yet familiar looking pond is shown in the foreground. Daylight shines off of the pond, glaring off of a window on a quiet building on a side street. The repurposed diner that Terra Daturas has created as a refuge for those just like her.
A camera fade moves closer to the diner, eventually flashing many times to the inside. As usual, the room has no lights and many colorful areas, where people sit peacefully, having conversations and eating an assortment of nature conscious snacks.
The camera pans once more through the back curtain to see 3 women standing near a large window. This window takes up nearly an entire wall. The three women stare out of the window, to a beautiful view of the greenery outside.
Terra smiles at her two friends, Dragana and Elsa Holmberg and slides in 3 small paddings for seating.
Terra: Please, my friends. Have a seat.
Elsa: These place looking like my goat yoga studio I went to these one times. Is goat yoga?
Terra: No, my sweet Elsa. Now, come. This is very important in the process.
Terra grabs both Dragana and Elsa by the hands and sits them down with her. All three sit side by side.
Terra: Do you know how our grace releases?
Dragana: Hm?
Terra: When the soft, cool waters on our Earth experience tense heats and difficult situations, the cool water moves up… up into the clouds.
Elsa and Dragana look inquisitively at Terra.
Terra: These clouds hold these memories…these difficult moments. They move from the heart to the brain.
Terra: After a while of experiencing these tense, difficult moments…the clouds can bare no more pressure…and Mater Natura’s clouds must release the rain unto her creations, so that the clouds may rest.
A brooding Dragana looks past the window, up into the clouds.
Terra: If there is no release… The clouds will hold too much. They will succumb to the pressure and unleash an incredible storm of violence onto the land.
Terra looks over at Dragana…who has been holding in much rain herself. Dragana nervously holds her arm with her hand.
Terra: So today, my friends… As nature intended… We must release our rain. We must speak our pain and put our hearts in one another’s so that we may help each other.
Elsa looks hesitant. Dragana is silent as always, although she has her head down.
Elsa smiles a bit and isn’t sure what to say.
Terra: ...This is a very important part of life, Elsa. Think of Justin and that woman.
Elsa’s smile fades instantly and she grows temporarily angry before understanding.
Terra: Yesterday, a woman stomped on our garden. She was not kind when I notified her.
Terra looks out the window. Elsa looks up as well. Dragana tilts her head toward the window and winces upon hearing about the garden.
Elsa: People on sidewalk yell things about Justin.
Terra: I understand that must make your heart ache, Elsa.
Elsa: ...Yes.
Both women turn to look at Dragana, who stares directly through the window. She closes her eyes tight, seemingly re-living her personal hardship.
Terra: Your actions have always spoken louder than words, Dragana.
The scene fades out as all three women prepare to “release” their emotions.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Dragana better focus, she has a match coming up!
CULT!
The scene opens with Joshua "JT" Tucker submerged in his new zombie survival game, Days Gone. He has been playing it the majority of the day.
JT-Come on, Come ON! Put the gas in the tank and get the HELL out of there! OH NO! That's ALOT of zombies! GO, GO! HAHA NOT TODAY! I'm out of here!
After completing his current objective he pauses the game and checks the time, only to realize that Riot is about to start.
JT-OH WOW! Riot is about to come on, I beat that just in time, now time to save.
He saves the game and switches the input to HDMI 1 for cable. He then changes the channel to Riot, then kicks back and enjoys the show.
A little way into the show Danny Watts appears on screen and issues a challenge for JT on the upcoming Turmoil. After Danny is finished JT smiles and nods his head. He then turns to the camera and says.
JT-Danny Watts feels OBLIGATED to challenge me to a MATCH to prove he is better than everybody that competed in the battle royal at R2G.
JT-You see, the commentary team at R2G called the match a rookie RELEVANCY eliminator. Its a clever name, BUT it got me thinking.
JT-If it WAS about becoming relevant, then me being eliminated FIRST would make me like the LAST pick in the NFL draft. Otherwise known as MR. IRRELEVANT, for those who didn't know, and it is not a prestigious award.
JT-So for a CHANCE at redemption, more in ring time, and to prove that I DO NOT back down from ANYONE.....
He stands up, stares into the camera with a determined look on his face and continues
JT-I ACCEPT your challenge and will see YOU at Turmoil. LETS GO!!
He continues to stare into the camera with a determined look and confident smirk as the scene fades to black.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Less time playing video games and more time watching OCW TAPE!
