The moon shines, a cold winter light. A soft wind rustles through the branches of some evergreen fauna as we approach a majestic and imposing building. It’s architecture is old, almost regal like.
Wide stone steps sweep upwards towards huge double glass doors, smoked so they can’t be seen through. Adoring either side are two huge marble lions, their folds grubby and grime encrusted, their features blurred as they’ve been weathered down over the years.
A hooded figure pushes his way through the heavy doors to find a bleak yet bustling room of somber activity.
An orderly introduces herself and asks if he needs help.
???: I seek my sister. Melissa Trance.
The orderly looks shocked: Oh! Well I’m sure she will be happy to see you! Um. Follow me. But...what’s up with the camera? And what’s your name, for the register?
The man draws himself up to his full height: I am a legend of OCW, Aries! The world wishes to see my life story!
Orderly: Oh...ok...
The couple navigate a series of winding halls. The peeling wallpaper serves as a reminder not only of the buildings decay but the slow march to insanity that those that occupied these walls walk. Including Melissa.
Orderly: She’s through here. Good luck.
She quickly hurries away after whispering in her ear: Your brother is here to see you.
Aries pushes through the door: Hello, sister…
Melissa pops to her feet: Aries! I’m so happy t---You’ve lost weight! And grew out your hair! Your eyes have changed color too! That’s wonderful. I’m so happy to see you!
She hugs him.
Melissa: Been working out, huh? You look good! OH you must stay for my party!
Aries offers a smile and looks around the room, a cacophony of stuffed animals have been assembled around plastic furniture, a children’s teapot and cups are on the centrepiece as Melissa pulls up a chair.
Melissa: Maybe the tea will give you back your accent
Melissa giggles before ushering Aries to sit down.
Melissa: Manners, no hats indoors!
At that, the hood is removed, revealing none other than the nefarious B-17.
B17: Sister, when is the last time Jacob visited you?
Melissa: Don't speak that name!
B17 frowns.
B17: Perhaps it's time you exorcise your demons. Tell me, Melissa. How do you really feel??
Melissa: Like multiple people. Abandoned, betrayed, manta ray, big ol’ Jay. Terra left me, Elsa forgot my birthday and then Majin didn’t buy me a bicycle.
B17: Tell me...do you feel...Lost?
Melissa: They won’t let me use google maps, maps, treasure X marks the spot. The muppets is nothing but puppets.
B17: But you have a bicycle. It's right there.
B17 points to the corner: And it can take you anywhere. Maybe we can find the X?
As he talks, Melissa looks around a little, before staring blankly, as if she hadn’t been listening. She looks to the corner, squinting.
Melissa: I don’t see a bicycle, brother.
B17: That's because you've become the puppet. Look again, tell me what you see.
Suddenly, Melissa giggles, clapping her hands together.
Melissa: I understand! It’s in my head, it’s in my minds eye… The bicycle, the burning cities, the road is paved with ash, but I am clean, I am The White. Safe. Secure. With family.
B17: Yes! Tell me. Have you ever heard of Neverland?
Melissa stands up suddenly, a wide grin splitting her face from ear to ear.
Melissa: Oh Peter! It’s wonderful, and forever is such an awfully long time… But they tell me you have to be able to fly to get to Neverland, and my wings, they’re gone. That dastardly Troupe stole them from me, but you can get them back for me, right Peter? I’d be ever so grateful…
B17: Well you can ride that bicycle straight to Neverland. Where you will never be alone. Where you will never be forgotten.
Melissa’s face contorts, her tone becoming serious.
Melissa: Y’know, they think I’m crazy. Even my husband, but these people in here, y’know…
She leans forward, prodding the table with a finger.
Melissa: They’d tell you a grilled cheese sandwich was crazy, then everyone else would just go along with it. I’m not crazy… I’m…
Her voice becomes small as she looks up at B-17: Lost… Can you find me, big brother? I need to be found Stephen.
B17: Why not save yourself? Find B17, he holds the answers. Or so I hear…
Melissa: I could… And… There’s no use going back to yesterday right? I was a different person then.
B17: No no no no. You were a beautiful person before. A beautiful mind. Misunderstood and shunned from society. B17 is the leader of the misfits. The Lost Boys need a mother. Why not lead the lost? As you have been lost and now you're found.
Melissa: But they want to dig a hole in the ground, build up a city and then fight a war… Just to call it progress…
B17: B17 is you, and when you can admit that, you will be free. You have to accept yourself as God before you can truly be home. We’re all in our own prisons Melissa, open the gate, go to him. You are your own warden and you have done your time. You know whom I really am. And you certainly believe what I'm saying
Melissa: I’m only what they made me… I am a reflection of them… I can be me again?
B17: Close your eyes. And breath deep.
B17: Now tell me, who have you always been, and whom will you always be?
Melissa: I am a number, I am Melissa. I am B17, and that is the truth, the God given truth.
B17: Good. Melissa. Open your eyes and announce yourself to the world. Go find your orderly and tell her the truth. I will follow. You will lead.
Melissa nods, rising: To die will be an awfully big adventure… I know where to go…
B17: And where is that Wendy?
Melissa: Second star on the right… And straight on ‘till morning.
We are introduced to a pixelated image of The Overlord’s face, his classic deranged expression covering the entirety of the screen.
The screen then wraps over to reveal Bubba and Mac sitting on the couch at the P3 Soundstage. Mac barks and Bubba grunts. Mac props himself up on Bubba’s head and points at the nearest television screen with his paw.
We transition to The Overlord and Drago at OCW Headquarters, right in front of the reception desk.
Drago: Oh hai OCW!
The Overlord: Welcome dummies, to a very special episode of…..What do you idiots call this?
Drago: P3 BONANZA!!!!!!
Drago stretches his arms out in excitement. The Overlord looks rather unamused.
The Overlord: I’ll never get used to that. Anyways….
The angry panda man turns his head toward the direction of the bewildered receptionist.
The Overlord: I would like to speak to Your Zero, please.
Receptionist: Do you have an appointment with Mr. Sensation?
Drago: No. We barge in.
The Overlord inquisitively turns his head back toward Drago, mouthing a “What?”.
Receptionist: It seems he’s out on lunch. I can have you sit in the lobby until he comes back. May I ask what the purpose of this visit is?
The Overlord: We’re gonna get rid of that dum-
Drago crosses his arms in confidence.
Drago: We’re here to fack shet up!
The pair then walk away from the receptionist and take the elevator up several floors. They come out the elevator to find Mr. Sensation’s office door. The Overlord shakes his head, then turns to the camera following them.
The Overlord: Old sport, you know why this is a special episode of the Bonanza?
Drago: Why?
The Overlord: We’re gonna do something that’s NEVER been done in the history of OCW. I can guarantee it hasn’t even happened after 2016!
Drago: Bring back Legends Championship?
The Lord of the Lariat’s eyes tell a story of profound disappointment.
The Overlord: No. That’s a hard no. Only dummies would suggest a Leeeeegends Championship.
P3 enter the office of Our Hero. It is adorned with plaques and photos of OCW talent past and present. The pair walk over to Mr. Sensation’s computer.
Drago: So what are we actually doing?
The Overlord: We’re taking over OCW!
The “Best in the World” strokes his chin.
Drago: Hmm…..I thought you said this never ever been done before. Actually, isn’t….
The Overlord gets in Drago’s face.
The Overlord: EVER!
He sits on Our Hero’s throne while Drago curiously watches.
The Overlord: Lots of people like to do it the old-fashioned way, as in: going to the shows and roughing everything up. But why resort to violence?
Drago: When we have technology! You brilliant!
Drago looks at the computer monitor for a second. He then screams and clutches it, about to throw it out the window.
The Overlord: JESUS CHR-
We cut to Drago typing like a dad (index fingers only) on the keyboard. The camera shows Drago changing the Turmoil World Champion on OCWFed.com to himself.
Drago: Wow. This crazy.
The Overlord points at the screen.
The Overlord: Look! You can put yourself in every match at Wrestlution! HACK THE PLANET!
Drago: HACK THE PLANET! MY FAVORITE MATCH!!!!
Drago bashes the keyboard with hammer fists.
Drago: ERAGINERG9AEHGNU3I VS. AI9GR89W34T203T2!!!!!! AND IT HAPPEN TONIGHT!!!! This easy! Thought it would take me five hour!
The Overlord: Look, I’ll edit the awards and give myself…….best face…….best heel……..wrestler of the year 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020.
Drago: But it’s 2020 right now.
The Overlord: Old sport, I can see the future very clearly and I am certainly going to be the best.
At that moment we hear the door to the office being fidgeted around with. The Overlord and Drago look over wondering about who is on the other side.
For about 30 seconds we hear the person on the other side being unable to open the door and the keys falling on the floor a few times. We also hear him mutter “madaf***a” a few times.
Drago and Overlord are almost asleep when the door finally opens and we see Mr. Sensation holding a simulation flight stick in one hand, and a cup of caramel macchiato with extra foam in the other.
Our Hero: What the f*** are you muthaf****as doing here?
Drago: Um what you do here?
Our Hero: This is my office……
The Overlord: THIS IS OUR OCW. HACK THE PLANET!
The Overlord clicks the save button and jumps out of the seat.
The Overlord: QUICK DRAGO LET’S GET OUT OF HERE!
As the two run out of the room The Overlord instinctively slaps the cup of caramel macchiato from underneath spilling it everywhere. Drago runs back into the room and apologizes profusely for the coffee.
Drago: Oh shet! I get you new cof-
Our Hero does not even glance at Drago. The veins on his arm holding the flight stick are bulging as he applies the pressure on that poor thing. The flight stick cracks, sending pieces flying all over.
The camera cuts into the locker room of Antonio Everrett. He’s lying on his back, his legs straight in the air, oddly resembling a new born baby. Terra makes her way over to his legs and begins stretching them, holding him by his bare feet.
Everrett: Ohh...yep, that’s the one… ow. OW!
Everrett winces in agony as Terra somewhat aggravates his taped up left knee.
Terra: Was that too far?
Antonio takes in a deep breath of air and exhales.
Terra cautiously continues stretching his various limbs for a few moments before an unexpected voice can be heard from the doorway
Bobby Minio: Hey Uncrowned 2, you been in here bullying that heavy bag over there? Wise choice ‘bruv’, that bag doesn’t hit back.
Bobby points to a rather battered heavy bag in the corner. Terra spins suddenly to look at the door. She freezes momentarily in surprise at the One Man Revolution, who has now appeared in the doorway of Everrett’s locker room.
Terra: Hello, Mr. Minio. Antonio is very much looking forward to your contest later tonight.
Bobby: Warm up all ya like, at the end of the match tonight you’re just going to be left alone with the cold embrace of your regrets, pal. I offered you and your mans the olive branch a year ago and the two of you big leagued me. It’s time we settled up.
Terra drops Antonio’s bad leg onto the ground.
Antonio: Ow.
Everrett stands up and places his towel over his shoulder. He walks up next to Terra and addresses his opponent for tonight.
Everrett: Well, it’s nice to see you too mate. Looking forward to it, I was just telling Terra that it’ll be nice to get my mind off of things for a little bit.
Everrett places his hand on Bobby’s shoulder. Bobby sort of just looks at it for a second, forcing Antonio to awkwardly withdraw and put his arm back by his side.
Bobby: Hm. That part of your warm up routine, too?
Minio smirks and shakes his head in disapproval before continuing.
Bobby: Yuck. Anyway, I didn’t come here to out condescend each other and get molested, I came here as a warning.
Bobby:
I’m on the road to Hall of Fame status and though I have made a legitimate career out of failing upwards, if you get cute out there, you try to embarass me, try to stand in the warpath of my legacy, well…
Minio takes a step closer, holding his right hand out towards Everrett before smacking his left palm across it violently as a sort of grazing clap just a few inches from Everrett’s face.
Bobby: Then you’ll get bowled over.
Everrett’s cheeks begin to turn red in anger, Terra looks up at Antonio with a concerned look.
Everrett: Oh, is that right? Go on then, show me what’s changed since I beat you last year. To be honest mate, you reckon that’s a warning, but from where I’m standing it just sounds like you’re another salty veteran that let a rookie get the better of you.
Everrett:
But guess what? I’m not a rookie anymore. So don’t you try to patronise me, because I’m in absolutely no mood to be patronised right now.
Everrett gets right into Minio’s face. His nose is almost touching his signature shades. Bobby smirks as the two stare off for a few seconds.
H2O: Did I hear someone gave this young man here an olive branch and refused it?
The awkward silence is interrupted by the appearance of the OCW World Heavyweight Champion. He leans up against the doorway, his title draped proudly over his shoulder.
H2O: Hey Ev, did you hear the story about H2O giving someone here an olive branch SEVERAL times over the years and they refused?
Bobby turns and faces Harvey. He’s now standing next to Everrett. Before Antonio can respond Bobby cuts him off.
Bobby Minio: I had your back, Harvey, you just went full Colonel Kurtz on us and now you mean little more to me than an entry on my resume.
H2O ignores what Bobby Minio has to say. He continues to talk to Antonio.
H2O: There aren't enough olive branches in Italy that can get himto accept being loyal. So I don’t know how he can even muster enough olive to give a branch to you.
H2O: I had enough worrying about Bobby Minio. Just like he had enough worrying about me a long time ago.
H2O: Some friend huh Ev? You know how it is.
Antonio: Well I know all about bad friends that’s for sure.
Bobby Minio: How about you two clowns consummate this little relationship in the form of Inception 2.0, or maybe you can call yourselves the ‘New Uncrowned’, which will be pretty appropriate for YOU, Harvey, soon, because I plan to separate you from a title that you’ve been holding on borrowed time.
Minio turns and points a finger directly at Everrett, his face curling into an ugly sneer.
Bobby Minio: AND YOU, you’re gonna serve as his proxy tonight. Thank your new pal Harvey for that.
With that, Bobby storms off out of the locker room, barging H20 in the shoulder as he exits. An awkward silence falls upon the room as the scene fades out.
RYU MATSUMOTO(c) vs. EL PARCA
After washing her hair Ashley is still furious about the recent events in the bathroom. She walks through the floors snapping at every OCW employee getting into her way and asking them where Empress hides.
Finally, someone points at the catering room and Ashley goes there in fast fashion. Arriving she sees Empress screaming and banging on the ice cream machine because it is again not working.
Ashley quickly charges at her going for a strike without caring what the consequences will be because of her temper when a stagehand in a suit who was about to fill his plate with some shrimps sees her and walks right into her way.
Suited Stagehand: Good to see you here.
Ashley Moore: Don’t you see that I am busy?
Suited Stagehand: Just one moment, please. I was sent to ask you which stipulation you want for the Empress vs Valkyrie match next Turmoil. But because I couldn’t find you I thought why not get something to eat.
Quickly Ashley cools down remembering she can harm Empress even more without touching her.
Ashley Moore: Did you hear that, little s**t?
Empress: Anata wa chōdo watashi o yobidasu fakku?
Ashley Moore: You know what. You almost made me being thrown through a table so I will do the same to you.
Empress starts charging toward Ashley before being stopped by the Employee. He stands in between Ashley and Empress trying to prevent them from fighting.
Suited Stagehand: Remember the contract. Save it for The Clash you two.
Empress: Jigoku ni itte tawagoto o shinu! Tawagoto no kachinonai baggu. Watashi wa anata to anata no kazoku zen'in o shirushi no nai haka ni hōmurimasu!
Ashley Moore: And to make it even funnier, why not make it two out of three falls.
That being said Ashley leaves the scene and Empress stares daggers into the back of Ashley’s head as she leaves. Empress balls up her fist in rage and slams her fist into the ice cream machine causing Ice cream to come pouring out if. The stagehand stares at Empress for a moment before gesturing toward the Ice cream machine.
Suited Stagehand: You mind If I get some of that before it stops working again?
Empress slaps the shrimp off the guy’s plate before storming off. The camera zooms in on the guy’s sadden expression as the camera fades to black.
