We cut to the locker room,where Justin Jehst is sitting around, looking a little sorry for himself. Clearly the man is still reeling from the events of Wrestlution 14, when he not only lost a match to the psychopath tormenting him, but lost his girlfriend as well! AC Cobra is sitting next to him, commiserating.
AC: Listen, all I’m saying is there are plenty of fish in the Sega Bass Fishing sea. Stuff happens. You’ll find your player 2 again!
AC Cobra pats Jehst on the back. What a nice guy.
Jehst: I don’t think the gamer puns are helping. She was the one…
AC: Ahh, well. I thought Halo was the best game ever until Halo 3 came out!
Jehst: What about Halo 2?
AC leans in.
AC:BR starts.
AC shudders at the memory. Jehst has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about, but tries a smile anyway. As they talk, Tre Golden bursts into the room.
Tre: Cobretti why are you in here being buddy buddy with the enemy?
AC: I was just--
Tre: I told you. You can’t hang around with losers who cry when a female leaves them. It rubs off on you. Plus we’re gonna be kicking him and that fat and bald dummy’s asses in about ten. So don’t go catching sympathy.
Jehst: You better shut your mouth before I use these Hollywood Muscles to bust your head in!
As he says that, Cort also arrives!
Cort: Justin, we’re up soon, you ready?
He looks over at Tre.
Cort: I’m sorry, did Wrestlution’s Biggest Loser just call ME fat?
Golden: Speaking of snake himself, Wrestlution’s biggest loser…. well this guy right here...
Tre points to Jehst.
Golden:… Lost both his Match and his bitch. so what does that make him? And yes you are thick around the hips, you definitely have halitosis, and you reek of tapioca pudding.
Golden rubs under his nose to emphasize.
Golden: I still think I owe you a couple more spears after stabbing me in the back.
Cort raises his hands as in “we got a badass over here!”
Cort: And here I was under the impression you never paid people back. But what goes around comes around, right? You pulled the same damn thing at Lution. Attacking a man with his back turned, putting him through a table, and then spearing his girl!
AC mutters quietly: … Phrasing.
Cort: And now you’re here trying to kick my buddy when he’s down, because apparently you grew out your insecurity with the fro!
Tre narrows his eyes.
Golden: You think I don’t pay anyone back because I’m black?
Cort coughs in surprise and horror.
Cort: What! No! Because you’re a flake. And since you lost the Pride title, everyone’s been tossing you around like a joint on sunday night. I don’t need another HR meeting!
Golden: The big difference here is Harvey has never been my friend, and I did my work face to face unlike cowards like you and Pepe.
Cort looks confused, while Jehst looks up from his chair, anger in his eyes.
Jehst: You calling me a coward, Tre? I wouldn't do that if you wanna walk out of tonight's match with your face intact…
Tre points to Cort, then to Jehst.
Golden: I’m calling this walking MAGA Hat a coward! I’m calling you a cuck.
Cort: Oh! The FROG. So you just went on 4chan for the first time, too? Call Flojo, we need an intervention. Or maybe it’ll have to take place in the ring when I Cortplex your sorry ass back to Reddit where you belong.
Golden: We will see….. Cobretti, let’s go get ready homie.
Tre smugly motions to Cobra, who looks slightly awkward as he gets up and leaves. Cort shakes his head and turns to Jehst.
Cort: Can you believe that guy!?
Jehst: I’ve seen the best men turn to the worst people. But we’ll get him. For what he said about me.... and what he said about Elsa.
Cort: Damn right!
As tonight's episode of Riot heats up, we turn now to The Mantis in a darkened room with just himself and the camera. Though already dressed for Aisu's Lock Horn Challenge, he appears pensive and gloomy, looking down and away from the camera, as if he'd rather be anywhere else right now.
The Mantis: I can't believe it...I had the biggest opportunity of my life two weeks ago, on the biggest show of the entire calendar, my best chance of proving myself to the OCW Universe...and I blew it. Again!
A tense silence builds as The Mantis suddenly looks right into the camera.
The Mantis: Elliott Parker. I won't tell a lie by saying you didn't deserve to win the ladder match at Wrestlution. But in doing so, you, like all the others, have yet again made me look like a blasted fool. How am I meant to put on such a stellar performance like the one I had, fighting tooth, nail and claw, and have nothing to show for it?! I was meant to bring peace and glory and sanity to this industry, and the Future Investment contract was how I intended to achieve it!
The camera slowly zooms in.
The Mantis: So...while it is true that I cannot take that contract away from you after our match tonight, I'll see to it that everyone knows who is truly worthy to bring OCW into the future. I will show you who was destined to earn that case. For I am The Mantis…...and I've got your number.
The film fades to black...
LOCK HORN CHALLENGE! AISU vs. ??????
Jim Black: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to OCW RIOT. It's certainly been a-
A snap from a camera phone clicks behind Jim Black, interrupting him.
Jim looks confused, turning to find the source of the interruption. As he turns, his eyes widen and he peers upwards to see a towering 6'4 figure staring at him a few feet away.
Debbie D.: O-M-G. Jim, I think I found your angle.
Jim: Excuse me?
Debbie: Jimmmmm! You are so adorable right now. Like, oh my god.
Jim looks around, then back at Debbie, who steps towards him. She blows a bubble from her chewing gum.
Jim: De-
The bubble pops, interrupting Jim. Debbie lets out a 'haaaaaaaaaaaaa' laugh.
Debbie: Jimmy, boo. I know you're stunned to see me again, but be a professional! C'mon babe!
Jim Black looks back into the camera, seemingly annoyed.
Jim: I guess... This is what we're doing. Ladies and gentlemen, Debbie Destruction!
Debbie: Ah ah ah. It's just 'Debbie D.' now. The full thing is like, such a weirdly long hashtag.
Debbie continues clicking away on her phone.
Jim: ... Do you have any words before your ma-
Debbie: My match!!! Yes, that is right Jim. I'm FINALLY booked on OCW RIOT!! I thought I had my shot a few months ago against Empress, but that sexy vix Ashley Blaine decided to nix that. I can't lie to you babe, I was upset... But you know the double D never gets deflated. Haaaaaaa.
Jim: Tonight, it's OCW Women's Championship contender Lotus FloJo. What do you thi-
Debbie: Ohmygod, I totally respect her. To be up there at Wrestlution against Valkyrie? Like, please Jimmy, can you imagine the insta love she got for that?
Debbie: Lemme stop you there. You might not know. Your cute self doesn't know anything about the gram.
Debbie pulls Jim in and snaps a selfie with him with her tongue out, posing.
Jim, stunned, tries to continue the interview.
Jim: Well how-
Debbie: I am so excited to show I belong here in OCW. I haven't had many opportunities, Jimmy. My followers are practically begging for it. When I was invited to Ambition I had big goals, and now my goals are even bigger.
Debbie removes her gum and tosses it in a nearby bin.
Debbie: but I have to go get ready, boo. I'm gonna go do this one for you, Jimmy. mwuah.
Debbie walks off, continuing to click away on her phone. Jim looks around, combining his confusion with an annoyed face. We fade back to ringside for the next segment.
