Loki bumbled out from behind the curtain flanked by The Hattons. They had ditched their traditional looks and instead wore pressed black suits and dark shade aviators. The FBI would be ashamed to see such startling idiots parading around as security. However if Loki had paid for security he wasn’t likely to employ much with Tic Tacs and Play Doh.

Loki looked uncertain. His eyes shifted nervously as the stooges rolled into the ring.

Taking up spots on either side of the ring Graham and Chase folded their arms in an attempt to look more intimidating. They were failing due to catching sight of each other and giggling. Which in turn made the fans giggle, which in turn is making them giggle more...just truly moronic people they are.

Digging into his pants (tights don’t have pockets) Loki pulled out a small piece of paper.

Loki: Dear Owl God---

Chase coughed and gave a reassuring nod to Loki.

Loki: Dear Owl Bitch.

The crowd laughed.

Loki: You’ve gotten fat….and you hurt me. You hurt me badly. And I don’t understand why. You are my friend...You were my friend. I see this now that you are no longer my bff...Or is he?

Loki looks to Graham who slowly shakes his head.

Loki: No. No you are not. NOT CHILL!

Loki looks back to Graham who slowly nods.

Loki: But my heart will go on….James Cameron, Titanic, 19--

Chase rips off his glasses and coughs loudly again.

Loki: Right! The point is you are my best friend and you really suck at it. And I can no longer allow you to be my best friend anymore.

Loki gazed off into the distance. Silent. Unmoving. He remained stationary for quite some time while the crowd grew restless and The Hattons looked suspicious.

Graham approached and tapped Loki on the shoulder.

Loki looked wide eyed back at Graham: I see dead people.

Graham: Oh for f*&k sake, give me that!

Graham ripped the speech away from Loki.

Graham: Dear Owl Bitch, blah blah blah blah. Hurt me, blah blah blah. Love, blah blah blah. Soulmates, blah blah blah. Here we go. I am breaking up with you, Trance. I don’t want you to shed any tears over it, but I don’t believe we can continue this relationship. Please remove your possessions from my hut, blah blah blah. At Certified Greatness I show you how much you’ve hurt me, blah blah blah, why does this go on for another 20 minutes, no seriously I am reading what he has written, including this. Word for word.

Chase stepped over and received the mic: The point is, through that rambling mess, is that this little bro has been ridiculed and demeaned and it ends now. At Certified Greatness this bro is gonna hurt you the way you hurt him. He’s been nothing but kind to you, he’s brought laughter to your lips even if you deny it. But it’s over now. You ruined it.

Loki ran in and grabbed the mic: I’m gonna spank you! Hard! Yeah! I’m gonna ram my fist so far into you that you scream.

Chase ripped the mic back from Loki: The hell is wrong with you!

Graham ripped the mic away from Chase: We are a bit off task here. Ok and the last thing. Notice how he has been more….off lately. Yeah. Please return his medication! Open terms. If he wins at Certified Greatness you return his medication. If you win, you still return it or you will deal with us! Loki, let’s go.

Loki tore out of ring, fast as he could and ran up the ramp and out of sight before The Hattons could even leave the ring. They stop in their tracks as Loki comes rocketing backwards from behind the curtain. He rolls backwards a little bit, coming to a rest on his belly, hands covering his nose. Onto the ramp, cigar cupped in his lips is none other than Parker Stevens. He takes a puff, smirks and crouches, blowing smoke in his face before heading backstage, leaving the fans, Loki and the Hattons to ponder what this means.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Can CANCER not come and kill them all already?
	Jesus Randy, think of the kids.

After Cactus’ match he was taken back to the medical room. As he was being looked at, Stacy comes in to get a quick interview.

Stacy: Excuse me Cactus but can I ask a few questions?

Cactus looks at the doctor: Give us a moment, please sir.

Cactus: Whatcha got Stacy?

Stacy: What are you going to do in response to the attack of B-17 and Austin teaming up on you?

Cactus: What do you think I am going to do Stacy? I am going to reach deep, past the hate, past the revenge, deep inside. I am going to get to that place which pushes me to be better. At Certified Greatness, I am laying down the challenge. Those two cancer inducing idiots against me and a partner of my choice.

Stacy: What if they don’t show?

Cactus: They’ll show. They can’t help themselves. Cancer is attracted to life.

Stacy: Who is going to be your partner?

Cactus: That part I am going to keep close to my chest, if you don’t mind. B-17 and Austin speak of killing Turmoil, of spreading their cancer and ripping apart the very thing that sustains us. They want it all to die and go away, but it’s not possible. Life is about relationships and love Stacy. Turmoil is about the passion of our fans. B-17 and Austin’s hate, their despicable acts, their gospel of hate - it can’t last. Turmoil is stronger than it has ever been and this locker room will come together to fight off any cancer that tries to take us over. At Certified Greatness, love will conquer hate. The Patron’s will motivate and support us to victory. At Certified Greatness, those two will see just how powerful these great people who support Turmoil really are.

Cactus: Until then I rest. Which is what I am going to do now. Thanks again Stacy. You’re the best.

Doctors steps back in to finish their check up of Cactus.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	I wonder who Cactus's partner might be?
	Maybe God?

	Please don't say that, it still hurts.
	Anyway, time for our main event as RD Money takes on Madisons's wrath.

RD Money

vs

Madison's Wrath

The camera pans to the announce team.

	WHOA!!!
	Sunday can't come soon enough.

	Well it's that part of the show where I say that's all she wrote.
	See you all this Sunday at Certified Greatness.