Sophia texts away on her phone as she walks down a hallway at the local hospital. 

Eerie: Yo bish! What u doin? Let's get all coyote ugly tonight and celebrate! These fists ain't gonna find the bar themselves!

Sophia: Yo! I can prob make it later, at the hospital to check on Madison. 

Eerie: Yuck that slag?? Tell dat hoe she smells like gonorrhea infested trailer trash vagina juice. 

Sophia snorts to herself. 

Sophia: Will do. 

Sophia approaches the front desk where a hospital staff member is typing away at the computer. She's an older woman, with a look of permanent resting bitch face. Her copper-red-from-a-box hair is held up in place with a hair clip and pins, and definitely tons of hairspray. She peers out from behind her red framed glasses and acknowledges Sophia in her nasally, annoyed, telephone operator voice. 

Staff: May I help you?

Sophia: Hi, I'm here to see Madison. Madison Cox. 

Staff: Madison Cox? Has she been registered yet?

Sophia: Yes, she came in a few days ago. 

Staff: What's her last name ma'am?

Sophia: Cox. 

The lady looks at Sophia with the same resting bitch face.

Staff: Pardon me?

Sophia: Cox? Her last name is Cox.

Staff: Cox? Spell that ma'am?

Sophia: Uh… C-O-X … 

Staff: No Madeline Cox here ma'am. 

Sophia: No. Not Madeline, MADISON. M-A-D-I-S-O-N. 

Staff: N as in NIGHT? 

Sophia almost facepalms. 

Sophia: No….. well wait what part? 

Staff: N as in Night, A-D-I-S----

Sophia cuts her off. 

Sophia: Huh? No not NADISON (the hell??) (Sophia begins enunciating) It’s MADISON. M as in Mary, A D I S O N. 

The lady painstakingly types in each lettter on the keyboard. 

Staff: Oh. Madison Cox. Sorry, she isn't taking visitors. 

Sophia: Not taking visitors? She's been staying at my place for the past few months. Surely if you tell her I'm here-

Staff: NO. VISITORS. MA’AM.

Sophia scoffs. 

Sophia: Well, can you ‘at least’ tell me if she's doing ok??

Staff: Ma'am, I cannot tell you anything, that is a HIPPAA violation so I cannot disclose any personal health information. 

Sophia: Well aren't you just a barrel of helpfulness!!!

Staff: Pardon me ma'am? 

Sophia dials it back a bit, whispering ‘wepaaaa’ to herself under her breath to calm herself down. She clears her throat once she's regained her composure. 

Sophia: Nevermind. Thank you, ‘ma’am’. 

Sophia leaves the front desk a bit perplexed but definitely highly annoyed as the cameras fade out.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	H2O is here and I'm sure he wants to hurt Big Ed.
	He may want to, but can he?

H20 vs Big Ed

The camera pans to the announce team.

	That had to hurt!
	Yea he's gonna feel that one for a few days.

We now go backstage where a very desperate Dennis Black is still trying to find a tag partner. After being rejected by virtually every man, woman, and child in the building, Dennis has finally hit rock bottom. The camera pans over to reveal Dennis is standing outside of Gentleman Jack's office. Having no other options, the champion of champions takes a deep breath and opens the door.

As soon as Dennis opens the door he immediately regrets it. A golf ball whizzes by his face as loud mariachi music fills the air. Dennis dodges the errant golf ball and peers inside to see Gentleman Jack wearing a bathrobe and sunglasses, clutching a 7 iron and swilling cheap tequila. The source of the music is also found as for some reason Jack has a live mariachi band playing in the office. No Gentleman Jack office visit would be complete without chubby whores, of which there are many in various states of undress.

Jack, astonished that he's almost killed the champ while working on his medium game, yells out to Mr. Black.

Jack: Fore!!!!

Dennis: ...This is my life now. Matsuda did say the only place I could go from here is down.

Jack: Holy shit!!!! Dennis!!! Hey everybody, I want you to meet a friend of mine! Guys, el hombres, cut the music! This beautiful son of a bitch right here is the baddest creature that's ever walked up right! A man that has more gold than King Midas! He has no remorse, no emotion, no regrets! Mexicans, chubby whores, let me present you to the salvation of us alllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!! Dennis Black!!!!!!!!!!!

The chubby whores flock to the finely tuned athlete like.... well like chubby whores to a finely tuned athlete. Dennis however wants none of it and begins swatting the whores away. Jack's lady friends, clearly high on narcotics, tequila, and Jack's musky aura, just giggle and scamper away as Dennis threatens them with the most dangerous feet in the universe.

Dennis: Away with you, creatures! I've kicked old men and women hotter than you. Imagine what I'd do to you!

Gentleman Jack, delighted with the champ's new attitude, calls off the girls and welcomes Dennis into the office.

Jack: Speaking of, I gotta say you laying out Madison sunday night could be the pinnacle of OCW. No, no, it could be the pinnacle of humanity! People are PISSED! You have any idea how many death threats you've received this week? Thousands!!!! It's awesome! Next time could you piss on the flag and call a disabled veteran a ****** while you do it?

Dennis: Nate Ortiz and Dupree are disabled vets. Speaking of..

As Dennis continues to talk, Jack just keeps nodding his head and saying sure. He drinks deeply from the cheap tequila and walks out into the hallway with his 7 iron and mariachi band. Jack lines up a shot in the hallway and drives the ball, striking a production assistant. The mariachi band begins to play in excitement.

Dennis closes his eyes and sighs loudly at the sound of music from Mr. Sensation’s home country plays. The camera zooms in close enough to see his features twitching. Suddenly, Dennis stands and storms out to the hallway.

Dennis: It was bad enough I had to face Ortiz. But now Dupree is involved. Ortiz is making me fight them both. Do something! I need you to call the match off.

Jack: Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me Nate Ortiz and known pedophile Tiberius Dupree are on OUR show telling us what to do?

Dennis: This is all Mr. Sensation’s fault. 

Jack: What?!!! Sensation is here too?!?!

Dennis: Christ! Don't you watch?!

Jack: God no! Have you seen our show lately??? I mean a nazi is one of our top fan favorites. Give me a break. Why do you think I'm working on my medium game? When this whole Turmoil thing goes south I'm trying out for the PGA Senior's tour!

Dennis: You're in your thirties.

Jack: Yeah but I've lived hard. I'm easily 70.

Dennis: That I don't doubt. They can't get away with this! Right?

Jack: Oh hell no. I'll happily help you f them in the a. Did you know I haven't had an erection since I fought Nate Ortiz?

Dennis: ….What?

Jack: It's true. I've tried everything. Weird stuff, kinky stuff, painful stuff, disgusting stuff, illegal stuff, even some stuff that was against nature itself. Nothing. So I thought, hey maybe I'm just half queer and like wrestling guys but that wasn't it! Beating Mo'Cream did nothing.

Jack: So I thought, hey I just don't like any coffee with my sugar, no biggie. But I ruined H2O's career for a second time and nothing! So then I thought to myself, maybe I can only get hard fighting Hall of Famers. So I whipped Ryu in under 15 minutes and still nothing!

Jack: Then I was informed Ryu wasn't in the Hall of Fame and that it would in fact be a cold day in hell before he ever made it. So that explains that one away... But Nate Ortiz again and a side of known pedophile Tiberius Dupree? If that doesn't get me hard nothing will!!!!

Dennis: ...I wanted you to call the match off.

Jack: We can beat them easily. I'm your guy! We got this bud.

Jack resumes working on his medium game, oblivious to the seriousness of the situation. Dennis clutches his World Title and sighs loudly as the music resumes.

The camera pans to the announce team.

	It looks like the champ found his guy.
	He just signed up for a beating to the one coming up next.

Ryu Matsumoto vs Bill Ding

The camera pans to the announce team.

	Oh my!
	Wow!

Cascading shadows pose 
Looming, threatening upon OCW's Lightweights 
A vast abyss, empty and unforgiving 
Enhanced with silence. 
Their essence engulfs my every thought, 
every vision. 
El Segador is here to Torment all with Lucha prowess 

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