The scene opens on Wrex backstage as his match draws ever closer, anxiously pacing back and forth clutching onto a folded chair like his life depended on it. Considering the opponent that might not be completely false.
Jim Black Wrex, I already told you that it isn't no disqualifications.
Wrex Don't care. One is all I need to avoid all this.
Jim Black Really want to get fired that badly?
The best answer Wrex could think up quickly was to throw the chair at the wall. Closest to Jim.
Jim Black Jesus Wrex! calm down.
Wrex Calm down!? Easy for you to say! You ain't gotta fight a giant tonight do you? Well I do! How the hell am I supposed to do this without the stipulations huh? I ain't got my own giant to counter balance like some people. I have to do this s**t myself!
Jim Black Well this isn't going to help you is it?
Wrex How the hell would I know? Last time I fought this guy he was a puppet and I was whacked out of my damn mind more than usual! I don't remember how to prepare for this, I don't know if preparing for that's even f**king possible.
Jim Black Wait you were what?
Wrex Not important right now!
Jim Black Well you could start by relaxing, calming down a bit? Getting agitated isn't going to help you.
Wrex Relax? Calm down.. calm down.. Go f**k yourself!
Jim Black F**K it, can't say I didn't try. Good luck.
As Jim walks off to do whatever else he does here Wrex picks the chair back up off the ground and throws it at Jim again.
Wrex I don't need you luck Jim! It's nothing but a goddamn curse!
Stagehand Excuse me, It's nearly time.
Wrex You think I don't know that?
The camera pans to the announce team.
Next up we have a tag team match.
Wait what?
Cory Ford & Ricky the Dragon vs Sexton and Tay Terror
The camera pans to the announce team.
That wasn't expected.
Not at all Randy! That was crazy.
Today, you see two men dressed up in renaissance attire. Both are wearing big white wigs with long pony tails. They are shooting a new infomercial advertising their new body spray.
Cameraman: Ok guys, talk like you're from that period. Make the audience believe you. Now, ready when you are. Aaaannnd ACTION!!!
H2O: Hi! I'm the Sultan of Seas, The Head Kick Courvoisier.
Baker: Courvoisier?
H2O: Yes.
H2O: I’m also The Freshest Kitty Litter of this Time and The Better Half of B2O….
H2O: I am Harvonious Hamiltanious Ocean.
Baker: Greetings! I'm The Lord of Lewdness, The Menace That's Bigger Than Dennis...
H2O: Black?
Baker: Yes, lad.
H2O: Ok. Carry on.
Baker: The Exquisite Half of B2O and The Bakerness...
Baker: Anthonius Baker.
A recorded audio of a crowd applauding sounds. Baker signals to the sound crew to cut the applause.
H2O: We know that the industry is saturated with all kinds fragrances these days. But this fragrance is unique.
Lady #1: Harvonious, what makes it so unique?
H2O: Cause, my dear. I'm the one who's selling it. Duh!
H2O: When you want to stop smelling this, “Betterness” thing that's spreading across these hallways. Try splashing on some “O”.
H2O: It's not only good for...ALL...of your extremities. But it's also good for your breath. What body spray you know can be beneficial to your breath as well?
Lady #1: Like an ocean breeeeeze.
Baker: Dude, that's not unique. That's the same fragrance you can find in fabric softener and fabreeze.
H2O turns his head slowly in disgust towards The Exquisite Side of B2O, Anthonius Baker.
H2O: Such bitter banter coming from you brother. So you have anything better?
Baker: Indeed I do.
Baker stands up from his throne and stares off away from the set as if he was in a Shakespeare play.
Baker: “TWO BE OR NOT TO BE” That is the fragrance!
H2O puts his face to his palm.
Baker: Once you get a sniff of this it'll leave you high like you just got done sniffing some...(Oregano).
Baker: Like my Better Half Harvonious, you can also use this as a breath freshener.
Baker: But I must warn you. A splash of this on your tongue will make you think you just took some…(Oregano).
H2O eyes opened wide; not sure if this live shot is even being censored. The producers signal to H2O “OK”; letting him know they have it under control.
H2O: Well folks, it seems that our time is running out. My counterpart has completely lost his mind thinking his body spray is better than mine.
Baker: Oh Harvonious, you're just mad your fragrance compared to mine smells of a swashbuckler named Crossbones.
H2O: Are you referring my scent of a pirate?!
Baker: You are the “Sultan of The Seas”!
The two of them start clamoring in the background as their voices begin to fade. The announcer speaks over them.
Announcer: Please try these new modern renaissance body sprays, “O” and “2B/Not 2B”. Good bye everyone!
