Damian would walk towards the announce table grabbing a microphone and walking back to stand in the center of the ring with Mistico
Damian: “Scumciety and Celtic Dragons I hope you're sitting down, eyes peeled, ears open, and whether you want to or not let me talk to ya. What're we talking about? Well who is Damian Bourne and why is he standing in the ring with this guy over here? Well I'll tell you why, it's because we got two men standing here in this ring right now who have a common bond. We're not two guys traveling through time, we're not some dudes stuck in the 80s, and we're definitely not superstars! We are professional wrestlers and yes we have something to prove, we heard the call for a change and we answered it. So all you other tag teams I hope you're listening, and although I'm my only man don't get lost in the sauce because when you mess with Mistico you're messing with me!”
He spits on the mat and hands the microphone to Mistico
Mistico: “Well, first off, I think it’s pretty funny that our original opponents weren’t even at the arena to fight us. Benji probably couldn’t even hobble his way to his car after how Damian destroyed him a month ago. But all that is besides the point…. normally I’d say this is all for my fans after proving that I’m one of the best luchadores to ever step in the ring but no. This time I’m doing this for myself and Damian, I’m not gonna let these shitty wrestlers who can’t do anything in singles matches try to come up in the tag division. Damian here hasn’t even let his shoulders be down on the mat for a three count. I’ve been making people tap out or blackout for two months, who really thinks they can stop us?”
Mistico would laugh a bit and toss the mic onto the floor as they walked backstage.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Well then!
Statment #made!
We fade in to the sight of Mugen and Drago at the backstage area. Drago has his hands on his hips as he looks fairly annoyed at the OCW Lightheavyweight Champion.
Drago: So, who you have for me tonight?
Mugen: Old sport, you’re very familiar with this man. He is a former champion much like us!
Drago: Has he drop DE FIVE?
Drago holds out his hand with the five fingers outstretched. Mugen laughs.
Mugen: Ohoho, he dropped DE FIVE a long time ago…..Some would say in a dimension far, far away……
Mugen: Oh yeah, and he’s in the Beat Drago Club!
Drago furrows his brow. Just then, a figure appears from out of nowhere. The masked man is none other than Ligermask, to the chagrin of Drago. Ligermask waves at the hunter.
Ligermask: Hola Senor Drago! Como estas?
Drago stares at Liger, then looks at Mugen.
Drago: You gotta be kidding me.
Mugen: Fortunately, I’m not! Mister Liger over here will show you exactly why you should consider dropping DE FIVE. Right viejo deporte?
Liger feverishly nods.
Ligermask: Si si! Es mucho necesito!
Mugen: He may have lost the Riot Tag Team Championship…..
Liger points his finger toward his eye, and slowly moves it down his face to indicate a tear.
Mugen: But I think him receiving a second star in the BDC Club would be a more than worthy consolation prize!
Liger raises his fist in approval.
Liger: Prepararse, Senor Drago!
Liger runs off towards catering to get ready for his upcoming match. Drago cups his mouth with his hands to yell at Liger.
Drago: It’s gonna be “Hasta La Vista” after tonight!
Drago turns to Mugen and smiles.
Drago: Like always, I play your game. But you know what happen when you play the Drago game long-term.
Drago: I’m gonna drop him like I gonna drop DE FIVE come Summercide.
Drago pats Mugen on the back and walks away. Mugen looks quite cheerful.
Mugen: How DELIGHTFUL!
The camera pans to the announce team.
DRAGO vs LIGER! TONIGHT!
OH NELLY ITS GONNA BE ONE TO REMEMBER!
The camera pans to the announce team.
SATURDAY ALSO!
THATS HOW OCW DOES IT! JACK!
The scene opens in Our Hero’s office
Our Hero: Listen Valk, I’ll be honest with you. OCW has been making a killing on the: B community t-shirts and Straight Outta Valhalla t-shirts.
Our Hero: Well, we are also selling a lot of Kasstianity t-shirts but the god dam printers are acting like jive ass turkeys and won’t give me my cut!
Valkyrie nods without saying anything
Our Hero: After Summercide I’m going to get my well deserved vacation. I want to go to one of those sick five star hotels.
Our Hero: Hell with the money we gave you from your merchandise deals you should take a little vacation yourself! You could go to one of those fancy hot lagoons they have in Iceland! thats where you are from ain't it!
Valkyrie: Boss… there’s just one problem.
Our Hero: What’s that?
Valkyrie: I sorta donated some of the money to charity…
Our Hero:........Welp looks like its Motel 6 and Ramen noodles for you kid!
Valkyrie: But boss! Money means nothing to me! You have to understand! A lot of whales are in danger right now and some species are about to become extinct! We need to protect them!
Our Hero: Damn whales… well, you are a money printer around here believe it or not, so you’ll find a way to make some cash and make it fast or you won't be saving any more Whales no time soon!
Our Hero: Maybe you could drop a new mixtape…
Valkyrie: A mixtape? Yeah! We could sell it on iTunes!
Our Hero: Good. Now get the hell out of my office and go make me err...you...err OCWFED rich again.
Valkyrie: Roger that, boss.
Valkyrie: I will release the Heather Angelo diss track...
Valkyrie give Our Hero a military salute and then leaves the office
The camera pans to the announce team.
She is a tiny money machine!
(Covers up his Straight out of Valhalla XXL shirt)
We revisit Cort and Shepherd, on a road trip to Turmoil in the slapped-together but somehow decent-looking monster truck. They seem to be arguing over song choices.
Cort: And up next, we got Bonnie Tyler, with a song that ALWAYS makes me cry…
Shep: No. Not that. Anything but that embarrassing, dated shit. We’re putting on A Tribe Called Quest.
Cort: A tribe called what? Never heard of them, Shep. I’m not into this indie shit. How about some Winger!?
Shep: Hard pass.
Cort: Air Supply?
Shep: I’d rather suffocate. If it MUST be rock… In Living Colour?
Cort: … Fuck yeah.
Shep shreds air guitar on his tag title as Cort sings along to "Open Letter to a Landlord" while they blast along the highway, other cars giving them a more-than-generous berth.
Cort: You know, I wouldn’t write a letter to a landlord. I’d just do what I always do when people come with bills. Clutch my shotgun and give them the crazy stare.
Shep: And that’s why you’re on the no-fly list.
Cort: Ya win some, ya lose some.
The camera pans to the announce team.
HAHAHA
Man these two!
Drago Cesar vs Ligermask
The camera pans to the announce team.
OH MAMA!
HE GOT ALL OF IT!
The scene opens backstage, the smell of rice juice immediately filling the air. Grumpily, Bray carries the drunken mess of a body containing his sister around the backstage area.
Though angered, he speaks to them in a calm yet menacing manner.
Bray: Which one of you allowed her to go to a bar during Riot?...
No one steps up, only irking him even more.
Bray: If I don’t receive an answer in five seconds, I WILL-
Ace: Ali…
Bray: Yes!? What is it!? Tired!? Hungry!?
She whispers in his ear...
Ace: Dragon… Ball Super… isn’t… canon.
Bray: Silence! You’re pouting nonsense, little one. Just let me take care of you...
He carries her around some more, feeling a little more weight on his shoulders as he passes by the Turmoil card. She suddenly springs to life, eyeing it down.
Mori: Mm hmm… mm hmm… oooooh. Flojo, huh?
Bray: About time…
Mori starts to jump around with enthusiasm, alarming Bray. Her plan is obvious.
Bray: No.
Mori: Why the f*** not!?
Bray: Don’t think about it. You’re not going out there. My sister is.
Mori: I AM your sister, dumbass. Well… half anyway.
Bray: Get her out. NOW.
Mori: Little miss weeb in here is all hopped up on rice juice at the moment. Please leave a message after the “FAWK you, I’m going out there.”
Bray: She is not-
Ace: Sticksandstoneswillbreakmybones...
Bray sighs and rests his head on his hands.
Bray: ...How did you even get rice juice anyway?
Mori: Japanese folks be creepin. Anyway-
She slaps him on the shoulder.
Mori: Just sit back, CHILLAX, come to the ring, and SEE how the better half of the body kicks ass.
She skips away.
Mori: I wonder if we can get Mugen to see if he can see us in that universal… dimensional… parallel bullshit!
