As we cut to the HUSA dressing room we see Cort Marshall drinking a beer and Jehst using some training bands to pump his Hollywood Muscles.
Cort pushes the button on the remote and turns on the current Turmoil stream running through the arena’s camera system.
Cort: You gonna tune in to the show? The tag match is on in a bit.
Jehst continues to pump.
Jehst: Definitely. I wanna see that ham sandwich Reese slam those UC boys around the ring!
Cort: BEER ME!
Jehst sends a beer can flying towards Cort who catches it with ease and pops the tab.
Cort: Grass-see-us!
Jehst: You mean “gracias”?
Cort: That’s what I said! Parca taught me that one at the bar one time.
Jehst makes his way to the fridge.
Jehst: We need more cold-ones, I’ll fill up the bucket…
He pulls the door open.
Jehst: You gotta be kidding me…
He reaches in and pulls out a blue envelope.
Cort: Don’t tell me we’re out of beers…
Jehst: Another one of these damn letters…
Cort: What’s your pen-pal saying this time?
Jehst:
Another day, another missed opportunity for the supposed Hollywood Icon.
Tough break in the tag team classic... You just couldn't find a way to get to that OCW gold. Cort failed. Hollywood USA failed... and you failed. Just like you do time and time again.
You've got no one left to tell you that those failures will add up. Your tag partner can't be trusted. Your woman is hundreds of miles away.
Luckily for you, I'm here to show you first hand.
See you soon.
Jehst crumples the note up.
Cort: We need new locks…
Jehst: Am I a crazy-magnet? I have no idea what’s going on…
After a moment there’s a knock at the door. Jehst and Cort posture up. Jehst slowly opens the door to reveal an OCW staffer. Both men stand down.
STAFF: Justin...Come with me, Sensation wants to see you.
Cort: Hope you’re not getting fired! Keep your head on a swivel out there! I’ll have nachos ready for the tag match, so don’t take too long…
Jehst grabs his stuff and walks out with the staff member.
Jim Black: Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in welcoming my guests at this time, the reigning OCW Tag Team Champions, Lucha Country!
A muffled cheer can be heard from the Barclays Centre crowd as the Tag Team Champions walk into frame.
Parca: Hey Jim nice seeing you again.
Black: Good to have you back, fellas. Now, the last time I was able to speak to you, tensions seemed to boil over between yourself and your former friend at this time Antonio Everrett, how are you feeling heading into non-title action against the Light Heavyweight Champion and his tag team partner, Doc Green?
Parca: How am I feeling? Hurt. I thought me and Antonio were going to have a very good friendship. We were the International Powers, our shirt was one of the hottest selling shirts on OCWFedShop.com, but tonight. Me and Reese have business to do.
Doc Green: Congratulations, champs.
Sarcastic clapping can be heard slowly getting louder as Doc Green and Antonio Everrett walk into frame, standing opposite Lucha Country.
Doc: Well, you did it. Tag team champions of the world, what an achievement. I mean, you guys dominated the competition, it’s just a shame Ev and I weren’t involved to show you what a real team can do when the pressure is on. But it’s not about us, is it? Tonight is all about you, Parca. I’ve been telling Everrett all about what you’ve been up to since you decided to leave him to rot.
Black: Actually, it really is about both teams tonight. This is the first time you two have teamed up for over seven months, and you’ll be stepping in the ring with a red hot team currently on a four match winning streak. Surely you won’t be underestimating them tonight?
Everrett: Underestimating them? Myself and Doc have made a career out of going above and beyond expectations and you’re asking us if we’ll be underestimating our opposition? Here’s the difference between the Uncrowned and Lucha Country: Doc and I understand the value of working as a team, we’ve gone to hell and back and honestly, we’re both better for it. I’ve met 500 Parcas in my time in professional wrestling, people like him are only in it for themselves-
Parca looks directly into Doc’s eyes as you can see the burning rage.
Parca:: No.. this isn’t about me. I didn’t betray Antonio like you did. We didn’t have a PPV match where YOU lost to HIM cause of it. And there’s something both of you are missing. You lost to CQC multiple times. We got one chance then they called it a day. The only thing you’re underestimating is how badly I want to snap your f**king arm Doc.
At that moment in walks Mark Reese, proudly wearing his tag team championship. He pauses, almost smelling the animosity in the air. He turns to Doc with a heart smile.
Reese: British guy!
He turns to Antonio, still happy.
Reese: Other British guy! I’m really lookin’ forward to tryin’ to get my paws on your greased lightning bodies so I can throw you like a prized pig in the annual toss off competition back home.
Before the Uncrowned can respond Reese, surprisingly, continues.
Reese: Before you guys start jackin’ jaws… I know you’re handier than a centipede, I got a TV, I’ve watched your matches and I liked ‘em...There was one thing missin’ though…What do you think that could be my brother?
Parca: Oh I don’t know big guy, why don’t you tell us?
Reese reaches into his pocket, removing the headband of power. In a movement akin to Rambo, first blood, he ties it on tight.
Reese: Slams.
Parca laughs as he knows that his partner can’t wait to slam both of the Uncrowned.
Parca: Slams, and limb snapping. Looks like you two are in for a world of hurt tonight.
Parca looks at Antonio as it seems he has tears in his eyes, visible even through the vision holes of his mask.
Parca: I gave you my Wrestlelution mask. I was there for you as a friend, and I never wanted things to be this way. But tonight? I will not spare you nor that leech you call “friend” any mercy.
Everrett turns to Jim Black.
Everrett: You see, this is why Parca hasn’t got a chance tonight. He’s too focussed on other things. Other things that were completely avoidable if he wasn’t such a self-absorbed sociopath. But I digress. At least Reese has his head screwed on, hopefully he’ll realise soon enough what Parca is all about.
Parca: You'll see what WE'RE all about later tonight. Come on big guy let’s go get ready.
The Tag Team Champions walk away from the Uncrowned as the cameras drop down fading to black.
Aries vs. ?????
Blaine: AND STAY OUT!
With a quick kick of the ass, Blaine removed the most recent person to remind her that Debbie D had pinned Flojo to become the number 1 contender to Ashley Moore’s Championship.
People seemed understanding. They watched with a small chuckle. This quiet night allowed all patreons a clear view of all ongoings at The Roadhouse Double Deuce. Word was that Valkyrie was doing a nude pregnancy photo shoot and that had cleared out most of the perverts. But a Turmoil show with the return of the disgusting Aries (Blaine looked over at the NO ARIES ALLOWED poster) along with a Lucha Country vs. those smoking hot bods of The Uncrowned followed by the likely train wreck of B17 vs. H20 seemed to have attracted the crowd.
That was perfectly fine with her. Something strange was happening that must be solved.
Blaine: Ok, now. WTF.
For the past hour the taps had all been pulling themselves. Which would have allowed her to fire Archer happily but unfortunately they didn’t particularly seem to care if a mug was under it or not. Even now they were going haywire.
Coors. Bud Light. Coors off. Guinness. Busch. Guinness off. Bud Light off. All off. On occasion the soda would start running too. It would follow a similar pattern. And then all of the taps would open at once.
Now the TV was flickering.
The man, the myth, the not quite legend appears on screen in front of a static background.
RYU: Why hello! I didn’t notice you there!
Blaine looks up blankly at the TV set she then reaches for the remote and tries to switch the channel.
The static background changes into what appears to be a rainforest.
RYU: Nani
A dinosaur bursts out of the trees and starts chasing Spider.
Blaine: I hate documentaries.
She clicks the remote again, a title card appears reading “LA NOCHE CALIENTE”
The card fades into a Telenovella living room set, a woman in a fancy red dress is standing aghast, while Spider looks around, trying to figure out where the dinosaur is.
Woman in Ref: BASURA!
She then slaps Spider across the face.
RYU: Nani?!
Blaine flips the channel again, this time back to static.
RYU: STOP! DID MUGEN AND DRAGO SEND YOU TO TORTURE ME?!
Blaine glares back: Holy shit. Spider? You're at The Roadhouse!?
Spider looks out and around from his static surroundings
RYU: I thought it looked a little more dead than usual… Sakuraba’s is normally packed by now.
Blaine: I'm calling Mugen.
RYU: No! No! No! Hey! I bet you would love some--
Click.
Blaine turned off the tv, took out her wallet and activated the hologram recorder.
She pointed it at herself and pushed play.
Blaine: Yeah. Figured you should know, Spider is trying to escape. Found a way onto my TV. I recommend electric shocks.
Just as she put down the projector all the taps opened at once causing beer to cascade upon the floor.
Blaine: What a dick.
With the speed of a Coke Zero’d up cheetah, Drago Cesar sprints through the entrance and stands face to face with the television. He pulls it out of the stand and hits the power button. The screen lights up with the visage of Spider hiding from the virtual dinosaur.
RYU: YOU!
Drago: Trash! I’m hear you try to escape from The Cube again!
RYU: Of course! And thanks to the power of this very specific television, I am closer than ever to escaping this atrocious torture device and exacting my revenge!!!!
Drago: Hey Spider.
RYU: Wat?
Drago: You ever play baseball?
RYU: I dunno, maybe back in high scho- wait WAT?
Drago spins his body around while holding the television like he’s throwing the discus and launches the TV.
Drago: Kobe!
RYU: NOOOOOOOOOOO
The television SLAMS into the opposite wall, turning the television into a wreckage of shattered glass, sparks, and broken dreams of escape. Drago holds his arms high in the air.
Drago: TOUCHDOOOOOWN!
He looks back at the bar patrons and then back at Blaine. He realizes the damage he’s caused and quickly pulls out a few hundred dollar bills to make up for the mess.
Blaine: What...in the hell?
Drago: Sorry!
He quickly leaves while everyone else is still trying to understand what just happened.
LUCHA COUNTRY(c)
vs.
UNCROWNED
The camera cuts to ringside, where we have Stacy Clark sitting in the ring in a director-type chair, with another not too far away with a table and vase between the 2. A stagehand hands her a mic, and she begins her introduction.
Clark: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the latest installment of “The Clark Effect”!
Clark: My guest at this time is arguably the most surprising breakout star of the year, coming out of obscurity to claim the Future Investment contract, guaranteeing a title shot at his discretion anytime in the next year. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Elliot Parker!
*Cue Elliot Parker’s Entrance*
Parker places his briefcase next to the remaining chair, and sits down.
Parker: Evening, Stacy. I know you must have plenty of questions about the last few weeks of my life, so shoot.
Clark: Alright, so first things first. A lot of people are buzzing about your victory over the current CCW World Champion, B17. However, people are questioning your decision to not cash in afterwards. What do you have to say for that?
Parker: I am a man of my word. Like I said when the match was announced. It was a chance to test my abilities, and his as well. Nothing more, nothing less.
Clark: If that’s the case, when do you plan to cash in?
Parker: To answer that honestly… I don’t know. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, I guess. It could be tonight. It could be next week. It could be at Summercide. It could be the first Turmoil of next season. It could be at Wrestlelution 15. I could just not cash in at all.
Parker: And who says I cash it in for the CCW Championship? Maybe I go for the big gold and blindside Harvey tonight. Maybe I cash in on the International Champion, El Parca. The possibilities are endless, Stacy.
Clark: Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say we definitely can’t wait to see if and when you take that chance! But onto other matters. Last week, you came up short against Antonio Everrett. Dk you have anything to say for yourself following that loss?
Parker: Not much about the match itself. Everrett Proved that, between us, he’s the better man, short and simple. For now, my quest for the Light Heavyweight Championship is on hiatus. What matters now is that I still have this case. And when I cash it in, it will be a different story entirely.
Parker: But that’s a story for the future. Let’s talk about tonight. The good people of Brooklyn paid to see a bunch of people beat on each other, right? So here’s the deal. We got nothing but time, space, opportunity, and a perfectly fine ring. I say let's throw down the challenge, and see who’s ready to give the people what they paid to see tonight!
Parker starts moving furniture out of the ring, when all of a sudden the lights cut out and when they come back on the GTGOAT.
Parker: Well, well, well, what do we have here? Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we’ve been blessed with the presence of the GTGOAT himself, NATE FREAKIN’ ORTIZ! What you got to say for the good people of Brooklyn?
Ortiz stares coldly at Parker.
Ortiz: I want a fight tonight. You don’t seem to have any plans so what do you say? You hold in your hand the opportunity of a lifetime. I’m offering you one tonight...
Parker: Like I said earlier, ain’t nothing here but time, space, and opportunity, and Elliot Parker don’t back down from a good fight. I’ll be seeing you later tonight.
And with that, the camera cuts to the next segment.
