Backstage, all seems well and good for ‘Los Sicarios’, as they style themselves. Gonzalo Munoz and Christian Garcia idly chatter, the latter animated and excited, the former cool and collected, as they run into Stacy Clark backstage. Taking the opportunity, the ever-game reporter steps up to the duo.
Stacy: Christian, I have to say, a lot of us were confused when you came out with the new look and no Luis Bishop in sight, but clearly, something is going on here that we don’t know about, and after a performance like the one you two put on tonight, I think we’re owed some answers.
Christian stops himself mid-sentence, and looks at Gonzalo from behind his garish sunglasses.
CG: Get a load of THIS guy!
Gonzalo smiles and shakes his head, leaving CG to speak to Stacy.
CG: Stacy, no disrespect to young man Luis Bishop, but… HE WASN’T READYYYYY! He’s still a work in progress, and we at the Scumchester Academy are molding him into the future this company deserves, but until that day comes, the Academy needs one thing, and one thing only, and that is-
CG: GOLD, BABY, GOLD!
CG: And when you want the job done right, you call in the G-Man to set things in order, ain’t that right?
Gonzalo nods, and Stacy places the microphone in front of him.
Stacy: So then, Gonzalo, after what you did to Wrex after the Scum City Deathmatch between himself and Mr. Garcia here, and after you replaced him in DDE, what possessed you to-
Gonzalo reaches down and places a finger on Stacy’s lips, shushing her.
Gonzalo: Rumors and innuendo, ayudame. Stacy, obsessing over the past would get us nowhere. It would have Mr. Garcia chasing the ghost of El Parca, or myself wasting my talents in the slums of this company.
Gonzalo: Myself and Mr. Garcia, we are visionaries. We don’t dwell on what came before, only on the now, but I tell you this- this ‘replacement’ business? Business arrangements come and go, but respect is earned, and Mr. Garcia has always had my respect.
CG: Likewise, G-Man. And Stacy, you turn that mic around, let me do what I do best.
Stacy complies, and CG turns to the camera.
CG: What did I tell you I was going to do? EXPOSED. Tre Golden? Fraud. Wolves of the Vanguard? Fraud. We went out there tonight and my man Gonzalo, on short notice, cleaned freakin’ house.
CG: Consider this a message to the rest of the teams in this division- you are not safe.
Gonzalo: Los Sicarios están aquí. Y están aquí para quedarse.
With that, both men begin to walk away, pushing past Stacy and leaving her to stare after them as the camera fades into the next segment.
The scene opens to reveal Maxx Edwards, Colin Locke, Jordan Trance, and John Carter in catering. Something’s different, today, though. Rather than the usual regular meat, slop, and protein bars, the various food counters are covered in an assortment of Mexican foods. A pinata hangs above the four.
Colin: Yeah, this is the perfect setting for discussing The Family’s attack last week.
He flicks the pinata. Maxx’s eye follows it as it sways back and forth.
Maxx: I mean if we’re gonna talk about premeditated assault, we might as well talk about it over some timely Cinco De Mayo themed food.
Colin: Well, it does kind of take the edge off a little bit. Plus, this is the only time of year that calling a bat in a wrestling arena a foreign object feels a bit like a hate crime.
Jordan picks up a nearby miniature bat and starts to tap at the horse-shaped Pinata.
Maxx: I wonder how Blacksmith feels about having his family being taxidermied and filled with candy.
The four take a second to think about the comment before Maxx snaps out of it.
Maxx: Anyway, we should probably get some food before it gets cold.
The four line up at the counter and start loading their trays. John grabs two tacos filling them with rice mixed veggies and beans with salsa on top.
Jordan follows suit grabbinga pambazo sandwich with some potatoes and chorizo. Maxx opts a plate’s worth of chicken flautas that he tops with pico de galloand Colin pours some nachos into a bowl before grabbing some nacho cheese.
John: Keep those hands steady there Colin! Looks like you’re about to spill that cheese.
Colin: John, my hands are steady as they need to be, you’ve decided to wear a crisp white shirt on this day of all days. I wore one for about a year and a half, and even I switched the thing out for Mexican food.
Colin eats a nacho as the four walk to the table, John between Colin and Jordan. Suddenly, as Colin reaches for another, dips it in the cheese, a dramatic zoom in on the nacho happens as the cheese drips ominously, swaying in the artificial wind caused by too much air conditioning.
John: Shit, Colin!
The camera zooms back out, and the cheese hasn’t gone anywhere, everything’s fine.
Colin: John, mate, you are paying way too much attention to how I’m eating these things, sit down.
John: You’re such a messy eater.
Colin brushes off the comment and enters the aisle, flanked by his teammate as the Future Idiots follow suit on the other side.
Colin is the first to sit down and the rest fall in line.
As Jordan tries to sit down, the edge of his plate clips the top of Colin’s bowl tilting Jordan’s plate towards himself, sending salsa all over his white shirt.
The four shoot out of their seats and before Maxx Storage can even muster out an apology, Jordan puts his hands out to calm everybody down and looks over to John.
Jordan: Hey, like… Do you have a napkin? I’ve had something of a salsa situation.
John: I think I got one… Just over… Here…
John gets an evil grin on his face before reaching across the table and grabbing Colin’s shirt with both hands before pulling at it, tearing it off of his chest.
He hands the piece of ripped fabric to Jordan who stands there in bewilderment.
John: We both picked a really bad day to wear white. Thanks for the napkin though Colin.
Colin stares vaguely into space as a flashback of his original shirt burning in Jacob Trance’s dungeon fades in. He snaps out of it, realizing what’s happened.
Colin: Jesus, what the hell, guy? Right, now we’re settling this.
Colin grabs his bowl of nachos and one by one, dips them in cheese before flinging the triangular chips at John as if they were shurikens. Cheese flies everywhere and everyone heads for cover.
John ends up behind a bench when he notices a t-shirt cannon. While avoiding the nacho chip onslaught, he grabs some of Maxx’s flautas before proceeding to load them into the cannon and beginning to return fire.
Various foods and sauces fill the air as the room gets painted in reds, browns, and greens.
In the midst of the all-out battlefield that has broken out in catering, Jordan and Maxx find themselves together behind a table. Rather than battling it out they both begin rolling the circular table as they slowly crawl out of the room leaving the ongoing war behind them.
