The scene opens up showing Baker and Becky at what seems to be a bar of somesort. Each of them with a glass of some magical juice on the counter.
Becky: Bakey. Thank you for taking me out tonight.
Baker: Of course, what else would I be good for?
Becky: Maybe taking those tag titles home.
Baker takes a sip of his drink before he flashed her smile.
Baker: Oh, pumpkin. If only you knew how soon the titles will be home.
Becky: Do you really think you and Harvey can take down Big Ed, and Cort? I mean look at Ed. He’s. Well. Big.
Baker: He’s no worry now sweetheart. You gotta keep positive and let B2O take care of the trash. They don’t stand a ch-
Baker is cut off as H2O is seen running into the bar with a worried expression on his face.
H2O: Bake, Big Ed and Cort are on their way here. Someone told them they could find you here.
Baker shakes his head at H2O.
Baker: Harvey. I can’t. They can’t get me now. Those dingleberries will...How do I say this? Kill me? I’m not prepared.
H2O looks at Baker and Becky with a confused look. Meanwhile, Big Ed can be heard getting closer as he’s yelling some sort of gibberish.
Big Ed: Small ego, penses, Japs, AMERICA. ALL OF THEM. AMERICA
H2O: There’s no time!
H2O grabs two pool sticks and hands one to Baker.
Baker: Becky, you gotta get out of here. Through the back. Now!
Becky with no hesitation is seen running to the back of the bar.
Cort and Big Ed are now seen passing a window to the bar. As they enter, Cort stares down H2O and Big Ed looks like a starving dinosaur as he stares at Baker. He’s smacking his lips like a dog.
Baker has a worried expression on his face as he looks at H2O.
Cort: What have we here? Two zebras at the watering hole. Shame the lions followed.
As Cort finishes speaking Big Ed takes a step towards Baker before screaming.
Big Ed: SUGAR!!
Big Ed closes on Baker before Baker swings the pool stick at him. Big Ed grabs the pool stick and stares at Baker before letting out a loud scream and snapping the pool stick against his head.
Baker’s eyes grow wide as if he is wittensing death. He screams like a little girl before he runs and hides behind the camera man. Ed grabs the camera man and tosses him over the bar counter.
The camera turns black before the scene switches to a crappy phone camera. A patron is taking a video of his friend doing shots as they hear Ed's yelling and a guy goes flying over the bar in the background.
Guy 1: Yoo holy sh*t, what the ***k? Turn around, dude!
Guy 2: What?
He turns around and sees the unfolding chaos.
Guy 2: That guy is like... huge!
Guy 1 & 2: Woooorldstarrr!
The two minor-league guidos shut up and start looking for a better angle to film.
Baker books it as Ed chases him around the bar, hopping over pool tables and throwing chairs back at Ed. Ed just throws everything to his sides, including innocent bargoers getting ragdolled. Meanwhile, Cort's grabbed a bottle and is circling H2O.
H2O takes the first swing, cracking Cort in the thigh, but Cort shakes it off, rushing in and smashing the bottle over his head. He takes the upper hand, laying rights and left into H2O as Ed finally catches Baker.
Ed: HOLLER IF YOU FEAR ME.
He yells, picking Baker up by the shirt collar. He carries him over to the bar, where the cameraman is just getting back up. The shot switches to his view as Ed throws baker headfirst down the bar, collecting a few glasses to the face on the way.
Ed and Cort look at each other and nod, Cort grabbing H2O and throwing him towards the elevated stage where the bar band is still playing. Ed follows suit with Baker.
Cort motions towards the band to get off the stage, and they do... but for the lead singer, a blonde bombshell with a punk hairdo and a bright pink 80's-riffic flying V guitar.
She gives him the finger and Ed reaches to grab her, but she snaps the guitar in two over his head!
Baker takes the chance given and elbows Ed in the gut, freeing himself, before superkicking him in the chin. Ed's draped over the stage now.
Cort is momentarily distracted by this, and H2O decks him before dumping him over his shoulders onto the ground in a sloppy fireman's carry. Baker and H2O take a moment to gather their wits, before H2O points at the stage and says
H2O: Shall we?
Baker nods and they hop onto the stage, while Cort and Ed stumble back, dazed.
H2O: We’re Hard 2 Obtain….
Baker: AND IT'S BAKING TIIIIME!!!
Both men dive on Bad Company, knocking their aggressors onto the floor. The bar, at this point, is in complete chaos and anyone not filming is running away.
Baker and H2O pick up Bad Company and drag them towards one of the bar's pool tables, clearing the balls off it and rolling Cort onto it with ease. Ed they have to co-operate on.
They waste no time getting up onto neighboring tables and landing stereo elbow drops onto Bad Company! There's no give on the table and the impact is hard, and Baker and H2O roll off the table onto the floor before getting to their feet.
Baker: Holy dookieshoe, that was AWESOME!
H2O nods.
H2O: But we better get going before... are you kidding me.
Baker looks behind him and somehow, Ed is sitting up.
Ed: BAD CHILDREN!
He yells, and grabs Cort.
Cort is totally out of it and mumbles something about gorilla forces as Ed lifts him up and throws him like a dart at B2O. All three men go down, and Ed stands up, cracking his neck.
Ed: TIMEOUT FOR KINDERGARTEN
He lunges for H2O on the ground and starts hammering away at him with punches. Baker crawls away and grabs a few pool balls, throwing them towards Ed's feet. Ed leans back to stand up but pratfalls on the balls.
Baker: Get McAllistered, dingleberry.
With Baker the first up, followed by Ed, Baker goes to work with a series of quick strikes, keeping Ed on the back foot until H2O comes in with a flying forearm. Ed goes down to a knee as H2O gets an idea...
H2O: Keep him busy.
Baker nods, landing his patented chest kicks, and H2O backs away from the scene, looking up towards the bar's lighting. Above the pool tables are classic box-shaped glass lamps, attached to the ceiling with chain... they look pretty sturdy. The tables are also jumping distance from one another...
H2O mutters to himself about not getting paid enough for this dookieshoe before hopping up two tables away from Baker and Ed. He takes a running start, hopping from the first, to the second, then jumping and swinging on the chandelier above the third.
H2O: OUTTA THE WAY. COMPADRE!
Baker looks back just in time and dives out of the way, leaving Ed to take H2O’s flying Indiana Jones dropkick right to the chin, pushing his head into the edge of the table behind him.
In the background of the video, you see another OCW star coming out of the bathroom. Yoo PS takes a second to survey the scene before shaking his head and getting as far away from this as possible.
Yoo: Des norm?
Baker, meanwhile, just stares.
Baker: Damn, man, I didn't think you were that indie.
Cort: Me neither.
Cort appears behind H2O, grabbing him in a headlock.
Baker steps towards him but Cort just drags H2O, who's in no condition to get out after that dive, back a step.
Cort: Whatchya gonna do, boy?
Baker eyes the scenery looking for weapons. No dice. The area is pretty much cleared out from their mad brawl.
H2O is starting to go blue in the face from the hold, and Baker decides something is better than nothing, rushing Cort head-on. Cort just pushes H2O into him and they both bounce off each other as Cort retreats to the back of the bar, which features a huge wall mirror for the ugly people in the bar to avoid, and the attractive people to stand by while taking selfies.
B2O gather themselves and approach Cort, who's cornered himself.
H2O: Thought you could pull a fast one on the fastest guys in the division?
Baker cracks his knuckles, but Cort just smiles.
Cort: Yes.
They hear heavy footfalls. Running footfalls. Big Ed footfalls.
Ed, somehow still conscious, grabs both members of B2O from a run, carrying them with his momentum and smashing them into the wall mirror. He slumps back into a seated position and breathes heavily as the ragdolled bodies of H2O and Baker slump in the shattered glass.
Cort claps him on the shoulder.
Cort: We win.
Ed nods.
Ed: Skull beat table.
Ed drags himself to his feet and Bad Company stumble towards the door--but not before Cort tosses a bottle at B2O for good measure.
Cort: See you on Sunday.
He laughs, before finally turning to leave before the cops show up.
In the course of the aftermath. There's a silence in the bar. All you can hear is men moaning and groaning, police sirens and the jukebox playing some heavy metal.
You hear the bells of the bar door sound and then the door closing. You can't see a thing cause those thirsty world star idiots dropped their phones during the battle.
But all you can see is both B2O members down on hardwood floors. A pair of high heel stiletto boots walks into the camera shot and stops between both Baker and H2O. A familiar voice cracks the silence.
Heather: Anthony Baker. You befriended someone who's completely toxic. Look at you. Keeled over laying next to him like a little boy that you are.
Heather: You were better without him....Like me.
Heather steps over Baker and stands over H2O who's holding gripping his head tightly.
His eyes open while laying face up on the floor. His vision is blurred but he recognizes the women's perfume.
H2O: Heath-?
Heather steps on Harvey’s head and mooshes his face to the side; causing him to stop talking.
Heather: Look what you have you done with your face. I have to admit it was gorgeous but now, horrid.
Heather takes her foot off his face and kneels down to the point where her face is close to his.
Heather: You pitiful disgusting creature. As you lay here agonizing in pain, you better think about fighting Bad Company at Chill Faktor.
Heather: As you come to your senses, the same fate will happen to you there as it is here. You two little boys thought tonight's punishment was bad. I'm sorry, Harvey. You haven't seen nothing yet.
An alley cat walks in from the back of the bar where Bad Company exited from. It caught Heather's attention as it purrs and rubs its body alongside Baker's face.
Heather: Well look what the Kat dragged in. Some rodent breath, flea infested creatures.
Heather: I guess you know how to attract them, huh?
Heather looks over at Harvey. Then she quickly turns to grab the cat by the scruff of its neck. The Kat hisses at her. Heather just stares into its eyes and talks to it.
Heather: You just reminded me that there's an old Pussy Kat that needs some love and affection. C'mon little kitty. Mama will take care of you.
Heather: Now if the you’d excuse me, boys. I have to rekindle with Big Daddy. You guys take care. I'll see you at Chill Faktor.
Heather walks out of the bar and heads towards the ally way in the back where Bad Company awaits in a H3 Hummer.
The chauffeur opens the door for Heather.
Ed: The cat too?
The cat screeches in fear as Heather tosses the cat to the ground.
Heather: I hate Pussy's
Cort: I think I'm going to like you.
Heather closes the door to the Hummer and the chauffeur drives Bad Company away.
The camera pans to the announce team.
What in the world!
WORLDSTAR!!!!!!!
The camera pans to the announce team.
SO AMPED!
Who you telling?
TJB vs Bill Ding
The camera pans to the announce team.
......................................
Oh Mugen......
We return to Djesus Dlek and Kyle as Djesus Dlek leads Kyle the intern into the empty green room. Kyle walks in and past him.
Djesus Dlek: bzzzzz VIO-LATE DAT bzzzzz -TA
Just as he shouts YSLek flips dangerously across the room and crashes into Kyle the intern.
Djesus Dlek starts shuffling back and forth “dancing” as BuddyLek, who is much smaller than YSLek drops onto Kyle from the ceiling.
Buddylek: Suck on bzzzzzz nutz.
Djesus Dlek: Hurry bzzzzz get dat bzzzzz -tas wallet!
Just as he says this Tiberius Dupree and his Betterlek appear in a golden flash of Betterness.
Dupree: Halt foul Rhymeleks!
Before he can summon a mighty knee, Betterlek’s head explodes
Betterlek: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
The now reeing Betterlek starts spewing golden glitter from where its head used to be.
During the distraction Djesus Dlek grabs Kyle’s wallet and flees the room leaving YSLek, Buddylek and Tiberius Dupree staring at Betterlek’s reeing, glitter spewing remains.
