We fade in to the inside of the office of the Lord of the Lariat, the World Heavyweight Champion, and the CEO of OCW, Mugenta. We can see him taking down several Halloween decor including skeletons, webs, tombstones, etc. He gathers them all and puts them into one large garbage bag except for one: a skull on the desk. He picks it up.
Mugen: Fate is a cruel mistress.....
He places it back on the desk and then looks at it closely.
Mugen: YOU SEE, DRAGO? YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE AS A REMINDER THAT I HAVE DELETED YOU. YOU HEAR THAT DUMMY?!?!?!?
Mugen quickly does a breathing exercise, realizing that he's been talking to an inanimate object. He kneels to pick up the garbage bag.
Mugen: Of course he can't hear that. I need to chill out for once. I'm already going to win the S-Cup by default. I don't even have to show up in front of these dummies!
The office door slowly creaks open and closes, very quietly.
Mugen: Hey Molly, why don't you grab me a coff-
He stands up with the garbage bag in hand and looks at who's at the door. He drops his garbage bag instantly and his jaw drops. The shadowy figure walks toward Mugen and has a seat in front of his desk. The camera pans around to find that it is Drago Cesar, believed to have been....deleted. He gives a cold, expressionless stare through Mugen's soul. The CEO nervously laughs.
Mugen: This must be some kinda hologram Baker made to prank me. Well it ain't gonna work!
Mugen slowly reaches his arm out to try to poke the "hologram". He retracts his arm before he manages to touch it. His right eye starts to twitch.
Mugen: All right, Baker. You can quit the games son. Dad's trying to do some work......
Mugen tries to pick the garbage bag back up but he just can't help but look back at the figure in front of him. He didn't move. He didn't blink. It didn't even seem like he was breathing. Mugen closes his eyes, perhaps thinking that it was all in his head.
Mugen: Ok, just take it easy......Relax.
He lets out a deep breath and slowly opens his eyes......to find that Drago is still staring at him. His anxiety soon turns to anger.
Mugen: BAKER! STOP! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP PLAYING THESE DAMN GAMES WITH ME OR......YOU'RE GROUNDED!
Again, no response from anyone or anywhere. All that could be heard was silence. Mugen felt as if he was in another dimension. Was he dreaming?
Mugen: This isn't real. YOU ARE NOT REAL!
Drago's eyes shot into Mugen's like an arrow. Mugen shakes his head in disbelief.
Mugen: Why have you come here? You're supposed to be GONE. DELETED. EXTERMINATED. Do you find it funny trying to haunt my existence???? YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF!
Mugen's anger then turns into fear as he realizes that he might just be staring into the eyes of an actual ghost.....or perhaps death.
Mugen: You stay the hell away from me! STAY BACK! BEGONE! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR STUPID FACE EVER AGAIN!!!!
Mugen takes some objects that are on the desk and starts tossing them at the direction of the "apparition", but he wildly misses. He then pulls the desk toward himself and takes cover.
Mugen: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Mugen closes his eyes and fears for the worst. He waits for what seems like forever. Minutes felt like hours. Finally, the door opens and slowly closes again. Mugen peeks out from the desk and finds Molly standing there with a cup of coffee, looking rather confused.
Molly: What was all that noise?
Mugenta awkwardly stands up and clears his throat.
Mugen: Oh, just uh.....Answering some phone calls.
Molly: You sure?
Mugen: Uh, yeah yeah......I don't know.
The CEO drops into his seat and stares at the skull on his desk. Molly puts the cup of coffee on his desk.
Mugen: D-Did you see anybody come into the office?
Molly: No. I don't even recall hearing anybody open the door.
Mugen: ....Thanks.....
Molly: You should take it easy for once. You're the winner of the S-Cup and you have the night off!
Mugen: Yep, thanks Molly.
She leaves as Mugen still stares at the skull, shaking his head.
Mugen: Aw s***balls.
The scene fades to black.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Revenge is a dish best served cold! |
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Tonight we find out, if its retribution or vengence! |
JACK E. QUINN vs BRAY S. SPUR
Cactus finally enters the locker room. Upon entering he finds a subdued Gentleman Jack sitting quietly in front of a locker. Inside the locker we see small voodoo dolls of Versus and Dennis Black surrounded by nuggets of weed and scantily clad Barbie dolls in tantalizing positions.
Cactus: Jack!
Jack doesn’t acknowledge his comrade, instead he begins to vocalize his meditation through a series of deep moans and grunts.
Cactus squints trying to figure out what has happened to the Clubs fearless leader.
Cactus: Jack?
Jack continues his grunts and moans, actively trying to drown out the noise from Cactus.
Cactus: Hey, boss, you ok?
Jack: WHAT?!?!?! What do you want?! Can’t you see I’m meditating here pal?!
Cactus: My apologies Jack, but what is going on?
Jack, now realizing who has invaded his personal space, begins to change his attitude.
Jack: Cactus! DOOKIE! Why didn’t you tell me it was you?
Cactus: Are you ok boss man? I’ve been looking for you every where. I’ve been served, molested, jumped through a window and kidnapped Abe Lincoln. I’ve...
Jack interrupts: I’m glad you’re here Cactus.
Jack: Tonight, the Gentlemen’s Club will be reborn is His Glory. Tonight, you, myself, and brother Jackson enter the arena of combat to spread His message. Tonight, the three of us shall spill our blood in His presence for the chance to enter His Kingdom and face his chosen son one on one.
Cactus: What the hell was in that water?
Jack: I’ve seen the Word of God, Cactus. I know the one true way now.
Cactus: God? What happened while I was gone. What god have you found, Jack?
Jack: Versus.
Cactus: What?
Jack: Versus. For He is the path in the darkness. Though I have acted as a coward in the past, tonight, with His power flowing through me I shall shine a beacon of his holy light for all of OCW to see!
Cactus rubbing his head: I am going to need a drink.
Jack: Cactus I have but one question for thee…
Before Jack can continue, a scuffle is heard outside. Loud shouting by authoritative voices and the lone whimpers of scotsman ring out.
???: I have my paperwork! I’m allowed to be here!
Jack and Cactus stop their conversation, opening the door to reveal Jimmy Henry speaking with members of ICE.
ICE Agent #1: I’m sorry sir but your kind just isn’t welcome here any more.
Jimmy Henry: What da ya mean not welcome?! I’ve been in America for years now!
ICE Agent #2: Tough dookie icehole. The President Elect says all undesirable, immigrant trash has to leave the country.
Jimmy Henry: But I’m legal!
ICE Agent #1: You don’t sound legal pal. Besides somebody reported you. They sold you out!
Jimmy: Who?
ICE Agent #1: Some black dick.
Jimmy: Some black dick? Wait… do you mean Black Cox?
ICE Agent #1: Sure pal, whatever.
Jimmy: Madison!!!!!!!!!!!!
As the two ICE agents cuff Jimmy to send him back across the pond, Jack and Cactus close the door. Confused, Jack looks at Cactus.
Jack: Cactus, who won the election?
Cactus: Trump.
Jack: Really?
Cactus: Yep.
Jack goes into the shrine for Versus and begins to dig around. After a moment he finds what he needs, Shelly, Dustin’s once teenage mutant ninja turtle muse, now the nicest bong in all the land. Jack grabs a nugget from his savior’s alter and packs the bowl. Jack takes a huge hit, offering it to Cactus who politely declines.
Jack: So I vanish for 3 months and the world goes insane?
Cactus: Pretty much.
Jack: Well, let’s go light this candle! First one to get a concussion loses! Today is a good day to die! Valhalla!
Jack takes another rip from his smokey turtle.
Jack: Seriously, Trump? So the PG era in OCW is over right?
Cactus: Oh yeah.
Jack: Did you grab Sophia by the Pu...
Jack loses focus and stares off!
Cactus: Wait, WHAT?, never!!
Jack puts his arm around Cactus as they head out the door.
Jack: Think we’ll be able to smoke in hospitals again?
Cactus: Probably… Jack, if Versus is God, why did he let this happen?
Jack: Jackson probably paid him.
Cactus: Good point.
A the scene fades, Jack asks one final question.
Jack: Cactus, where’s Ed?
Cactus: I don’t know boss… I don’t know...
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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OH LORD!!!!! |
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I WANT WHAT HE IS HAVING, HAHAH! |
Previously Recorded throughout the OCW offseason.
SKWAD, OCW’s most omnipotent faction kept themselves quite busy during OCW’s downtime before Season 12. Fortunate for us all, each adventure was filmed for an upcoming OCW Blu-Ray entitled “An Act of SKWAD”.
This being the 12 Year Anniversary of the greatest wrestling federation on earth, we a privy to a few exclusive trailers.
To celebrate a monumental Season 11, Blake Majin, Parker Stevens, Tiberius Dupree, Leon Valentine, Malu, Casey Paine and Willow have a colossal party at fellow SKWAD member Nathan Carter’s Pleasure Palace. (Matsuda is like a petal in the wind.)
Where every delicacy imaginable either; mental, spiritual, physical or even edible aphrodisiacs of every flavour are simply at one’s fingertips. Parker is seen laughing hysterically as he gives Truth Sirens to various sized goons wearing crudely made masks from hairline to Jaysin Sensation and every sissy in between.
Dupree is having his newly acquired miracle hair brushed and petted by various women dressed in hockey jerseys, that smell oddly like maple syrup. Occasionally telling them repetitive stories of the Ambition Era.
Malu is seen at the buffet eating with his massive paws without seeming to take a breath. Anyone that comes within ten feet of the buffet is immediately scarred off by his savagery. Malu doesn’t just eat lunches!
Screams from grown men can be heard from behind a door where Casey Paine just entered a hour before. Only SKWAD knows how much she’s enjoying herself... Willow can be seen, with her OCW Women’s Title in her lap sharing a cigarette with a young man with more tattoos than skin, quite PG considering the environment.
Leon is sitting Indian-style in the middle the floor with the Necromicon open wide. His pleasure and enjoyment is on a whole new spiritual and arcane level. He mumbles verse after verse with a mysterious grin, his OCW NA Championship by his side. Big Ed still his captive, hidden from the view of the camera.
The perverse and erotic actions of Blake Majin and Nathan Carter can not be shown in any capacity without giving the entire Blu-Ray an X rating. Let’s just say every manner of sexual and physical pleasure reached unimaginable heights that night with the OCW Turmoil and TV Championships among the toys.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Oh.....my! |
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Why didn't they invite me? MY NAME IS BIG AL for a reason!!! |