Loki: Trance! Trance! Look at me!
Trance just ruffled his newspaper and sank further into his folding poolside chair: Yeah...that’s great. Just great.
Loki: Trance! Come on! I need you to watch!
Trance sighed and crumpled the paper down: What?
Loki stood upon a diving board that jutted out over the deep side of the pool. 10 feet above the pool he stood, close to the precipice he peered over with giddy excitement smeared across his face.
Loki: I have a new finisher I want you to judge.
Trance looked stone face back at Loki: Not my problem.
With that Trance snapped the paper back up and blocked out the constantly annoying Loki.
Loki: THAT IS NOT CHILL!
Trance mumbled back: Oh trust me I’m very chill…
Loki backpedaled to the ladder. Taking deep breaths he steeled himself for an attempt.
Loki: Trance, I call this...Um...I call it...Loki’s...Um....I’m still working on the name.
Trance picked up a mango smoothie from a bench next to him and held it up: Take your time.
Loki flipped Trance off.
Trance: I saw that.
Loki’s eyes went wide and he quickly dropped his finger. He set his feet and began to line up for his jump. He bounded forward and jumped. The board sprang him back into the air. Loki contorted his body and used his momentum to flip forward, unfortunately Loki failed to rotate properly and he wasn’t able to complete his flip. Instead he accelerated forward with the back of his head facing the water, his body perfectly horizontal to the shimmering water.
Trance heard a sick splat, but he did not look up.
He also noticed a lack of splashing, but still he did not look up: Very nice, Loki. Beautiful.
A heavy splash broke the silence. After a few moments another splash and someone gasping for air.
Loki: Help, I can’t swim! Help!
Voice: Bro, calm down you Muppet.
Trance finally looked up from his paper. Loki was flailing in the muscular arm of some stranger that Trance had never seen. Loki’s rescuer took strong, experienced one armed side strokes and moved to the shallow end.
Trance sighed and finally stood up. He walked slowly to the edge of the pool where Loki was now sputtering safely on the edge.
Rescuer: Duuuuuddddeeee, the hell is wrong with you!
He is staring at Trance.
Trance: Well the best way to learn is to...um...do?
Rescuer: Yo, little man, you can’t swim, bro?
Loki didn’t respond, instead he looked admiringly at the face of his rescuer: Who are you?
Rescuer: Bro, check the red, I’m the lifeguard.
Loki: You are an Angel.
Trance went wide eyed and walked away slowly. But it was not to be, Loki called him back.
Loki: This man saved me, we must reward him.
Trance looked down at the lifeguard and patted him on the shoulder slowly: Good job.
Lifeguard: My job, bro.
Loki: No, you, Red Angel. Do you wrestle?
Lifeguard: With my girl?
Loki: No with other men?
Lifeguard: No homo, bro.
Loki: What do you know of OCW?
Trance had enough. He threw up his hands and walked away. He wanted nothing to do with this.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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That boy is 1 hamburger short of a happy meal. |
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBurger! |
OCW TELEVISION #1 CONTENDERSHIP
JACKSON MONTGOMERY vs. GENTLEMAN JACK vs. CACTUS GAUGE
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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We have ourselves a new #1 Contender! |
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Bidness has just picked up! |
Previously Recorded throughout the OCW offseason.
We return to the adventures of the SKWAD during our short break before Season 12. It’s Halloween, and the SKWAD is more than dressed for the occasion. They all are dressed as Dia de los Muertos, what else would the possibly be? Except Malu, Malu is dressed as Malu.
Majin and his daughter Willow the OCW Women’s Champion decided to host a gigantic haunted house. Casa de los Muertos is not for anyone under the age of 18 or anyone with a pre-existing heart condition.
One of the rooms is just a empty room full of nicotine smoke and the sound of buzzing tattoo needles, the lack of oxygen is simply terrifying. Another room, is just a room where you receive insults and Truth Sirens from Parker.
The scariest room of them all is the Void of Valentine, the screeching sounds of innocent stupidity and hallucinations of grandeur pierce right through your soul. No Necromicon needed.
Nathan Carter’s room is basically a BSDM dungeon complete with torture racks and other devices, enter at your own risk. After a few minutes inside Casa de los Muertos you either leave terrified, aroused or just plain disgusted. (Overness haunts us all.)
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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They are having too much fun! |
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Even our commentary is fun!!! |
Smythe D. Wonder has a new locker room due to the women's division being offical. Stacy Clark is scheduled to interview the returning Smythe D. Wonder for the 12 year anniversary show. But she opens his locker room and all the lights are out.
As Stacy stands for a while amazed that Smythe would miss his interview slot at the 12 year anniversary of OCW a small flash of light is seen deep in the locker area. Stacey peers into the room as a few candle are lit and siting at a table inside the room is a hooded figure.
The long dreads coming from the shadow are a dead give away that Smythe D. Wonder is sitting in the room waiting for his interview. Stacy is freaked out, but not scared as she knows Smythe as well as anyone in OCW. She's actually the only person allowed to interview him by contract. She walks in slowly and just starts talking as she sits down.
Stacy: OCW's 12 year anniversary and here you are. Sitting in the dark, doing who knows what. Despite people's feelings about you and the way you sometimes disrespect the entire roster Smythe D. Wonder you are one of the greatest superstars to ever wrestle for this company.
Stacy: A recent grand slam champion by technicality, you've done it all in OCW and you've been inducted into the hall of fame for all of your accomplishments. You're the first person to Main Event Wrestlution twice and you will be forever etched in E-Wrestling for that feat.
Stacy: There I've said it all so you don't have to remind everyone!!!
CROWD POPS
Stacy:
Honestly tho what does it mean to you to be with this company for this long.
Smythe raises his head for the first time. He looks exactly the same just calmer which is a sign that he's upto something.
Smythe: I came to OCW 8 years ago because it was the best wrestling company I could find to build a career, a life and a legacy. I was promised stardom and I achieved it. Actually it was given to me because I made OCW what it is today.
Stacy: I left, this place shut down. I come back and we had our most lucrative season of all time. But that's in the past now. Now I don't have to sell tickets to keep this place a float now I can go back to what needs to be done.
Stacy: Are you talking about stopping Majin and the Skwad, or Overlord Mugen and the Purge, or maybe Nate Ortiz and Rev Inc.
Smythe stands up laughing histarically before he crashes back into his chair and looks at Stacy with a serious face.
Smythe: Stop the Purge? Stop the Skwad? get rid of Rev inc? Why would I want to do that? I can't be me without them. I've been watching with a smile on my face the entire time.
Stacy:Now I get to do what I want starting with showing Anthony Baker that he can't hang in the ring with me, not now not ever. TONIGHT I RETURN TO BEING DARKNESS!!!
Smythe quickly blows the candle out as the scene suddenly cuts out
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Someone is confident! |
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Since 2008! |