BLOOD FUED
COLBY MCCALLUM vs. MAXX EDWARDS
We tune in to see Drago and Mugen seated at the P3 Soundstage. Bubba is seated beside the couch with the Legendz Champion Chip between his jaws while Mac and Tosh are jumping up trying to grab the title.
Drago: Welcome to the Bonanza!
Mugen: We’re a little more lowkey this week. Despite this show being called Chaos Theory.
“Fred” is seen playing the drums very quietly.
Drago: Our guest tonight is very special. She retired at last year’s Summercide and we wanted to bring her here to see what she up to.
Mugen: Ladies and gentlemen…..Dragana!
The former Women’s Champion arrives from behind the curtain to quite a warm reception from the crowd. She waves to them while holding a basket of flowers.
The Sensational Impersonator: SHE CUTE DOE!
Mugen gives the Sensational Impersonator a look like “come on, man”.
She takes her time and gives everyone on the soundstage a hug, finally taking a seat next to Drago after giving “Fred” a hug. Bubba, Mac, and Tosh all approach her and get head pats.
Mugen: So I hear you’ve been keeping yourself pretty busy after retiring.
Dragana nods as her brother explains.
Drago: She just started gardening and meditation classes at the Dojo.
Dragana hands Mugen a pamphlet. The cover has Dragana waving and a caption that reads, “Get in touch with your inner nature!”.
Mugen: It says here that the classes are…free?
Drago: Well yeah, if she gonna try to help people, it feel kind of wrong to charge money you know?
Mugen: Huh. This concept is very foreign to me.
Mugen puts the pamphlet down and starts thinking.
Mugen: Is that why you brought all those flowers?
Dragana nods and starts handing out flowers from her basket to the crowd. Eventually she walks up to Drago and fastens a small pink petunia to his hair.
Drago: Man this feel strange.
The crowd joins Dragana in some wholesome laughter.
Mugen: You are right old sport. This might be the first time in a while something hasn't been destro-
Suddenly, a wild Djesus Djones explodes from under Mugen's desk to a chorus of boos.
Mugen: Dammit.
Crowd Member: HE'S DRAGO CESAR'S NON-BIOLOGICAL FATHER!!!!
Djesus takes one look at Drago and smiles.
Djesus: MY SON!
He gives Drago a hug while Mugen facepalms and Dragana just blinks at them.
Dragana: …
Drago: How many times I'm have to tell you? You not my father!
Djesus: But Djesus IS your daddy!
Drago: No! Last time we met, you put me in jail!
Djesus: Djesus had to make you toughen up!
Drago: Like being in war wasn't tough already?
Drago looks at his sister.
Drago: Look, if you are my father, then who she?
Djesus looks at The Silent Queen and gets to thinking.
Djesus: Ah….She was the champ!
Drago: Yes but…..
Djesus: Man f*** this, Djesus don't know!
Drago: She my sister.
Dragana waves to the strange man. Djesus looks at her with his jaw agape. He then immediately hugs her.
Djesus: DJESUS OWN SWEET BABY GURL! DJESUS NEVER HAD A WHITE DAUGHTER BEFORE!
Mugen: Do we need to do another one of those DNA tests?
Suddenly a wild Young Ryan appears! He points at Djesus.
Young Ryan: We don't need no tests! That man is my father!!!!
The crowd gasps. Drago shakes his head.
Djesus turns around and looks at Young Ryan, turns back at the Cesars, then turns to Young Ryan and shakes his hand.
Djesus: THIS IS DJESUS’ NEW SON AND PROTEGE! WE ARE GONNA TAKE OVER THIS S***HOLE SHOW AND TURN IT INTO THE- OW!
Before he can finish, Dragana takes him by the ear and drags him over to Mugen. A flattered King of Kindness points to himself.
Mugen: For me? Aw you shouldn’t have!
Mugen kicks Djesus in the gut and hoists him up.
Djesus: DJESUS GONNA SUE THE SHIT OUTTA YOU BUSTAS!
Mugen powerbombs Djesus through his desk. Drago shrugs and kicks Young Ryan in the gut, holding him up and powerbombing him onto Djesus. Mugen puts on a pair of shades as Dragana lays a few flowers where Djesus and Young Ryan are.
Mugen: Nobody steals our show….and lives.
“Fred” plays a guitar riff as GGIII steps out, eating some fish n’ chips.
GGIII: Mans is like a black Duke Nukem or somefin’.
GRUDGE MATCH
FURIOSA vs. LOTUS FLOJO(c)