As the scene opens we hear..... Christmas music? Well hey, 'tis the season right? Ringing bells and song lyrics to the tune of a very familiar Christmas song, but with a twist....
The camera pans and reveals a chubby man. No, not Santa! Bill Ding!
Ding: Ya bettah not shout, ya bettah not cry!! Ya betta not pout, IMA TELLIN YA WHYYY!
Ding: Ding-y Clause is a-cominnnnnn', to townnnnnn!
Ding: He knowwwwws when ya sleep! He knowwwwws when ya awake!
Ding: He knows when ya been bad or good, so damnnnn! Be good for a-goodness sakes!!
Ding: Wrexy ya betta not shout, ya bettah not crai! Ya betta not pout, cuz this daddeh is a-telling ya why!
Ding: Wrex and Ding have co-ome, to TOWWWWNNNN!!
Ding: OOOOH DADDEH this is gonna be DEEEELISH! MAGNIFICENT! I just heard tha winning stipulations and I'm a-feelin mighty electrified!! Mighty JOLLY, if ya wiiiill.
Ding: Iths a HOLIDAY MIRACLE! One of my favs, and I didn't even hafta look under my Christmas tree. Thanks OCW universe!!
Ding: See ya soon for our dance, Wrexy daddeh! I'm expectin' a good fight from ya or Ding-y Claus gonna put coal all up in ya stockin'! Leths GET TA WORK PAPA!!!!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Oh dear! |
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Mmmmm |
Shepard vs Seb Abbott vs Austin Lee
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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He did it! |
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Oh my! |
We return to the grand assembly hall, the official voting for the first round as finally concluded. Arbit Rufus has brought everyone to order once again as the debate for the future is upon us.
Arbit Rufus: Our next discussion will be concerning the future. Assumptions, prophecies and predictions are to be taken as logical reasoning from both speakers. We will begin with you Tiberius.
Dupree: Imagine a universe with no stars, no moons, only the nauseous gas of malicious mediocrity. Picture every man woman and child wearing no socks...living with no honor….
Dupree: The streets paved with the debris of illogical fallacies and broken promises. With more Trashleks than fish in the sea and even the fish in the sea soon become Trashleks, everything becomes TTT, every living organism affected by the hideous and incurable biomechanical T-Virus.
Dupree: A centralized dictatorship with a crazed and delusional despot who has no respect for time and space or anything in between. With the exception of Nate Ortiz there is no other being more detrimental to the universe as we know it.
Dupree: A future without Ryu Matsumoto, is a better future for all!
All of Tibby’s followers and supporters cheer on his behalf. When they finally finish, Rufus clears his throat.
Arbit Rufus: You may speak Ryu.
RYU: Is there anything tackier than a man in platinum blonde hair, a bad tan and wearing gold sequin, glitter, and silk. A UNIVERSE where EVERYONE looks like a Persian Rug Salesman.
Ryu stretches his hands out to the crowd, addressing them directly.
RYU: Imagine for a moment a world where everyone is Better! A world where everyone is Better no one is Better!
RYU: A FUTURE OF MEDIOCRITY!
Ryu points an insolent, accusing finger at Dupree
RYU: A Future ruled by KING SHITERUS!
Dupree: HOW DARE YOU!!
The assembly breaks out into a frenzy, Rufus battles for control.
Arbit Rufus: ORDER ORDER ORDER GODDAMMIT!!!
Things finally calm down, the cosmic tension between Tibby and Spider couldn’t be cut with a saber of light. Arbit Rufus directs the assembly to cast their votes for round two as we fade.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Things are breaking down! |
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An utterly cosmic cataclysm is brewing! |