The scene opens to the backstage area, a side room. The camera pans through the room, a private locker room lit especially chill, with Molly at the center, sitting on a leather loveseat posing into the thirsty lens of a phone on a selfie stick. In a huff, the door bursts open and bounces from the concrete wall on the other side. Molly jumps, slightly, but her focus remains locked on her selfie-shoot.
Bobby Minio: Where is he?
The One Man Revolution, Bobby Minio, had stormed into the room with the opening door, and he is on a mission. Molly is not as concerned.
Molly: I dunno, around?
Pausing mid step, Minio stares down at Molly on the couch.
Bobby Minio: Around… Well, is he getting ready for his match?
A distracted Molly lets the moment sit for a good few seconds as she flashes a sweet smile to, whoever would be looking at the snap story.
Bobby Minio: I need your attention, Mol.
Another few seconds pass.
Molly: … Mmm?
At this point she has stopped pretending to pay attention to the snoozefest unfolding in the room around her.
Bobby Minio: Is he getting ready for his MATCH? With Hayes? The title match?
Molly: Probably not.
Bobby Minio: Probably… not? Probab… no. Goddamnit.
With a short grunt, Minio spins on his heels, snatching the cellphone, selfie stick and all, right out of Molly’s hands. He glares down with a dark look on his face, pleased with the move and the result. He turns to face Molly, his mouth opening to speak, but no sound escapes. In complete disbelief, Minio watches as Molly continues to take pics of herself, only through her imagination, as her hands are empty.
Bobby Minio: Molly… I need you to get him into gear. He needs a sense of urgency, this is a serious threat to his champio-
She continues.
Bobby Minio: Molly, look at me.
She does anything but.
Bobby Minio: Molly goddamnit look at me! I got your phone!
With a wooshing sound, Molly’s head snaps to look at Minio, holding the selfie stick in one hand, the phone in the other. She moves toward Minio, her arms outstretched, reaching for her beloved trinkets as if she were a zombie, or in a trance.
Bobby Minio: Do you understand Molly? I have his back all the time, and in turn, I need you to get his head. IN. THE GAME. Do you understand Molly?
Her swinging hands nearly reach paydirt, as Minio feels a light tug at the selfie stick.
Bobby Minio: ALRIGHT.
He rears back, pulling the phone and the stick out of Molly’s reach. With one swoop, he pops the phone into the air with an underhand toss, bringing his hand back onto the base of the selfie stick, and swinging the stick like a bat through the air with the ferocity of a desperate man.
A great crash rings through the concrete walls of the room around them. The phone has a small explosion of debris into the wall, glass and technological dust and small pieces that should almost never soar through the air at great speeds spray out of the corners of the phone, and it drops to the feet of Minio.
Bobby Minio: Oh don’t mind that. You get him sorted, I replace this crap. You don’t, you never post a ‘snap’, or a ‘gram’, you won’t tweet, you won’t swipe any which way, you’ll be back to the dark ages where you tell time by SHADOWS. MOL. Do you get it?
Molly begins to lunge toward it again but holds, as Minio begins reigning thunderous blow after blow from an overhead position onto the rest of the remains of the phone.
Bobby Minio: Am I illustrating my point?
They pause in silence.
Bobby Minio: MOL! I’M GONNA NEED VERBAL CONFIRMATION THAT YOU’RE GRASPING THE DETAILS OF THIS AGREEMENT!
She seems stunned by the entire display, her eyes never breaking from a lock with the remains of the phone.
Molly: Uh, sure. Whatever.
Bobby Minio: In time… you will find that an operational relationship like this is much easier to deal with.
Just as Molly begins to sink into her shoulders, accepting the fate of today’s cellphone, Minio gives it a short boot, kicking it away from Molly’s reach.
Bobby Minio: Now forgive me, while I take a moment to center myself.
He takes a deep breath, then begins hammering away at the cellphone again relentlessly, as Molly stares on in a quiet and bored horror.
Mugen: EXCUSE ME! A little bit of peace and quiet would go a long way prior to a match of utmost importance like this old sport.
The scene pans away from Minio, away from Molly and towards a smaller adjacent room where The OCW World Heavyweight Champion, The Lord of the Lariat, The Messiah of the Multiverse, the King of Kindness is leaning against the edge of the doorway looking at Minio and Molly.
Minio: YES! That’s right, I need to hear that fire from you like I just heard there.
Mugen: Old sport, have I not told you over the past few weeks. Fire doesn’t always mean anger. A fire burns interrupted when its surrounded in peace and tranquility.
Minio: WHAT THE F….WHAT’S WRO….
Mugen moves towards Minio and puts his index finger a few feet away from Minio’s mouth. The awkwardly close gloved hand displays the word “LOVE” on the side.
Mugen: While the rest of the world is filled with……
Mugen displays the other gloved hand that reads “HATE”.
Mugen: Like Ryu’s son Kassidy. I believe that love will triumph over all hate. Now, would you please join me in a meditation session prior to the match.
Minio’s fists slowly ball up as his frustration has reached a boiling point. Instead of doing anything physical to Mugen, he kicks the remnants of Molly’s selfie sticked phone and walks into the hall.
Minio: I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!
As the camera pans to the hallway we see a fuming Minio walk down the hallway. The camera pans back to the locker room where Mugen is seen waving good bye to his good friend. The scene fades out.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
 |
Oh brother. |
 |
Peace conquers all! |
Wrex vs Bill Ding *C*
The Camera pans to the announce team!
|
Good god almighty! |
|
YEEEZUS |
Seb sat backstage following the TV title match the belt draped over his shoulder, the face paint he wore was wearing off and dipping down his face. Before he could get too comfortable and change out of his attire Ginger walked in.
Ginger: Seb well done tonight, I had my money on Austin Lee but you percevere and pulled out the w. How does it feel to hold the title?
Seb raised the championship to his face and looked into it's polished surface.
Seb: I have some pretty big boots to fill, but in the meantime I'm going to get cleaned up and take this baby out on the town...
He looked up at from the belt to Ginger.
Seb: Who knows, may even find a few birds and give them a Seb tan while wearing it.
Ginger blanched and then looked puzzled.
Ginger: A Seb tan? Do tell.
Abbott winked at Ginger.
Seb: Can't do that mate, there's Riot viewers watching and they're PG.
Ginger: I'll have to Google this.
Seb: Can you google yourself somewhere else? I want to wash up and hit the town.
Ginger nodded and left as Seb placed the title down picked up his towl before heading to the showers, the scene fades out to the announce team as get ready for the next segment....
The Camera pans to the announce team!
|
mmm |
|
mmm |
The Final Round in the cosmic debate between Tiberius Octavian Dupree and Ryu Matsumoto has officially begun. The reasoning behind the “present” being the final round does not have a logical answer. You’ll get over it.
Arbit Rufus wipes the crumbs from his belly and doesn’t finish chewing before addressing the assembly.
Arbit Rufus: This is the final round and quite possibly the most important. Each speaker will discuss the others current influence and status within OCW and the universe as we know it. Ryu, you shall start.
RYU: Beyond the Pristine Golden shell of Butterness you see here today, is the truth.
RYU: And what an ugly truth it is! A truth that holds down his fellows and friends and rookies rather than elevating them.
RYU: Look at the light heavyweight division today, H2O has been reduced to a bumbling pile of rolled up wateriness! Baker… kneesus, just look at him! The boy has clearly developed issues as a result of the reign of Butterness!
RYU: Tiberius Dupree as the Light Heavyweight Champion IS A CORRUPTING force! And I have risen out of the mediocrity and destruction he’s wrought in the Light Heavyweight Division to end it! And free OCW from its shackles!
After an eruption from his supporters escalates then diminishes, Rufus turns to Tibby.
Arbit Rufus: It is now your turn to speak Tiberius.
Dupree: And so I shall! Just look….just look at him.
The camera pans in close to Ryu reviewing all his distinct features.
Dupree: A cycloped sociopath with no socks and no honor. A cretin that pushes his Trash agenda to anyone dumb enough to listen. His complete disregard for the sanity and well being of OCW and the universe as we know it is maddening.
Dupree: His creation of the Trashleks is in clear VIOLATION of my BetterForce. A clear VIOLATION of all human and civil rights across all timelines. When he takes to social media or appears on television with his filth, it’s a clear VIOLATION of life itself!
Dupree: Look what his TTT has done to the likes of Dennis Black, he was once a respectable vanilla midget with potential for greatness. Now look at him, a cinnamon devil now possessed by entitlement and villainy of unimaginable proportions.
Dupree: Take Kassidy Hayes for instance, first Turmoil Champion and avid Twilight mark, swell vampire guy. And now...now...he’s just a dirty and bloody Kasshole short of a office visit from Flojo.
The assembly knows who Flojo is, they clapped.
Dupree: Presently Ryu should be taken to the edge of the city and dumped in a freaking hole, where trash belongs!
Excitement shakes the assembly hall as Rufus instructs everyone to cast their round 3 votes. After a short commercial break by a TOLMC affiliate we pan back to Rufus.
Arbit Rufus: I have received the results of the debate, it was a close battle but we have a clear cut winner. And that winner is…..
There’s a dramatic pause as everyone awaits the results.
Arbit Rufus: MUGEN!
Even Arbit Rufus is taken back, Mugen? But he wasn’t even a speaker in the debate. Both Dupree and Ryu immediately snatch one of the voting devices from a supporter. They turn it over to see the symbol of the “income funnel” on the back.
Dupree: This is ridiculous, you planned this didn’t you!
RYU: HOW DARE YOU!!!
Dupree: How dare me! I won this debate fair and square and you know it.
RYU: Ha, only thing you won at is being a loser, it’s clear as day I’ve outdone in every round, ezpz.
Dupree: No ezpz, we’re gonna settle this once and for all.
RYU: Old Country Way!?
Dupree: Old Country Way!
The camera fades with the massive assembly hall descending into chaos as all the Duprees and Ryus from different timelines, realities and dimensions start brawling.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
|
I guess its settled then! |
|
WAIT HOW THE HELL DID HE WIN? |