FROM SOMEWHERE WE CAN NOT DISCLOSE BUT MAYBE WILL ONE DAY, MAYBE LATER IN THIS SEGMENT BUT MAYBE NEVER BECAUSE OF SECRETZ, the scene opens up in an unusual bizarro world looking P3 Soundstage. The usual glitz and glamor is replaced by what looks like a ton of computer servers and a scrolling wall that looks like it’s straight from The Matrix.
And just like that, Drago and Mugen materialize into existence wearing nothing but leather from head to toe and monstrous sunglasses.
Drago: We take red pill. We end up here in elite hacker world.
Bubba who materializes as well now roars in beeps and boops.
Mugen: Tonight we broadcast the world famous P3 Bonanza from somewhere in……..CYBERSPACE.
The camera pans to where the usual studio audience is to find that it has been replaced with GGIII dressed as Morpheus, Fred looking like an albino assassin and Mac holding a bent spoon.
GGIII: I’m like a black Morpheus or somefin.
Drago turns to GGIII.
Drago: Isn’t Morpheus, uh….
GGIII: You heard what I said bruv.
Mugen: Unfortunately, Empress couldn’t be with us. She’s busy with “tech support” shall we say.
Drago and Mugen do some intense air quotes. Drago pulls out a tiny cardboard figure of Empress with a pull cord on it. He pulls the cord.
“EMP”: I’ll f*** you in your ass!
Drago: Hehe.
He pulls it again.
“EMP”: I’LL F*** YOU TIL YOU LOVE ME [REDACTED|!!!!
Mugen: WELL WHOA THERE, THAT’S AGGRESSIVE.
Mugen pulls the cord this time.
"EMP": Robert Wong is the best.
Mugen smiles and nods.
Mugen: Well, that ain’t wrong. But you also know what’s not wrong…………..The Pine Performance Center.
Beeps and boops that are supposed to sound like the crowd cheering is pumped into the speakers.
Drago: That’s right, the Pine Performance Center is producing champions like The Legendz Champion Mugen……
Mugen materializes the Legendz Champion Chip from thin air and starts air guitaring with the belt.
Drago: And our future CCW World Champion……...WREX!
Mugen: This is why we were able to bring a…...well you should say frenemy Wrex into cyberspace. WELCOME WREX!
We hear the clapping beeps and boops as “Wrex” walks into the view of the camera but its actually……….The Sensational Impersonator wearing Wrex’s t-shirt, also wearing several pillows underneath to look “big”.
“Wrex”: Sup muthaf****s.
Mugen: Comrade Wrex! How are you doing? Thank you for sparing your precious time to come into cyberspace with us.
“Wrex”: Thanks b. I’m going to uh……….do Scottish things to B-17. Yea that’s right stupid mothaf****.
Drago has a confused face as he looks at “Wrex”.
Drago: Wait wait wait wait, you aren’t Wrex. You that guy that looks like Jaysin Sensation.
“Wrex”: You know not all bald guys with beards are the same people right muthaf****?
Mugen: Actually old sport, I think you are right. I would know the person that I put through a table several times.
“Wrex”: MAMA GUEVO I am Wrex b. If I was a fake, would I be able to do this muthaf****?
He pulls out a beer and tries to chug it, but spits it all out in disgust.
“Wrex”: This s*** taste like fresh ass b. Who the f*** would drink this?
Drago: Wrex?
Mugen: How dare you waste beer on the Bonanza!?
Mugen starts to freak out but is held back by the cardboard EMP.
Mugen: Hold me back Empress! How dare this mockery of a man who is already a mockery talk ill about beer. I bet you the real Sensation only drinks girly drinks with an umbrella in them.
Mac barks in laughter.
Drago: I’m bet the real Sensation like his steak well done!
Mugen gasps, he pulls string on the Emp cut-out and it also gasps.
“Wrex” starts tearing his non-existent hair out.
Mugen: I’m betting that the Sensational Impersonator is also well experienced in making poor business decisions and that OCW was performing at its best when I was in charge.
“Fred”: Boom bitch!
“Wrex” starts yelling and tears his Wrex t-shirt off his body and starts fuming to the point that literal steam is coming out of his ears.
“Wrex”: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ABOUT MR. SENSATION LIKE THAT. HE IS THE GREATEST OWNER OF WRESTLING PROMOTIONS EVER. HE HE HE HE DOES SO MUCH FOR EVERYBODY AND YOU JUST DISRESPECT HIM. HE HE HE DESERVES TO BE PRESIDENT, FORGET THAT, HE DESERVES TO BE THE RULER OF THE WORLD MUTHAF**** AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Right there and then “Wrex” starts to glow bright green and all of a sudden he explodes into 0s and 1s with Mugen, Drago, Bubba, Mac, GGIII, Fred and Emp all smiling at what just happened.
Drago: What a shame.
GGIII: He should have chose the blue pill or somefin.
GRUDGE MATCH
OVER THE TOP ROPE BATTLE ROYALE
TRE GOLDEN vs. JUSTIN JEHST