THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN PREVIOUSLY RECORDED
Date: Saturday, July 27th
Time: 10:33 am
Location: Mourning Wood Correctional Facility
Just minutes after Tibby and Odessa check in the Warden's office, Matsuda has successfully infiltrated the facility via a loose ventalation shaft. As he makes his way though the shaft, he checks the digital map encoded onto his iphone. Within a short few minutes he makes his way to his first destination the Prison kitchen.
He pulls out a small jar containing various species of cockroach, including two Japanese Biting Cockroaches. As he climbs into the back storage room, dropping down making as much noise and one could possibly make. He opens the container and shakes a few of them on the floor, and others around the food barrels. As he tries to release the final cockroach, it runs up the container and up his sleeve.
OUR Villain frantically tries to shake of the large bug crawling up his arm, knocking down boxes and smashing containers. After finally shaking his attacker free, he climbs back into the vent just as two correction officers storm into the pantry. Suda checks his watch and map and continues though the ventalation system
One of the inmates in charge of the kitchen opens the storage room door as a loud "OH HELL NAW" can be heard as we fade.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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You have got to be kidding me! |
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THEY ARE BREAKING LAWS SOMEONE STOP..ERR SOMEONE STOP THEM NOW. |
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Now, next we have a potential doozie of a match - the hardest working man in OCW Tobin Frost will have to bring his a game when he faces the monster K D'Angelo... and Al... Both of these men need a win... who do you have coming out on top here? |
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Tobin Frost is big, but KD is bigger. I think we can all agree that the winner definitely won't be pro wrestling. |
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But KD Angelo is the Black Submission Machine. |
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Machine? This dude is a walking Xerox. If i have to witness him clumsily lock in a Dragon Slayer one more time I'm going to punch you in the jaw... you have my word. Damn idiot. |
TOBIN FROST vs. K.D Angelo
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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That is freakish power right there folks. |
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Indeed! |
THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN PREVIOUSLY RECORDED
Date: Saturday, July 27th
Time: 10:10 am
Location: Mourning Wood Correctional Facility
Nearly fifteen minutes prior to Odessa and Dupree's arrival at the prison Jurai and Junchiro arrived at the front gates with Roofus. The camera pans in close to read their name plates: Wang Li and Wang Lee. Between the two Wang twins is their prisoner, Roofus, who's arms and legs are shackled. He also has a Hannibal Lector-esque mask covering his face.
The itchy mask is forcing Roofus to toss back and forth, looking as if he's deranged and unstable. The Wang twins aggressively drag him along to the first processing station. As he's being processed, the small amount of inmates who have a view of processing gather close the bars. The camera pans across the faces of the various inmates, many seem frightened, others seemed intrigued. We over hear a few of the inmates conversing as Roofus gets processed.
Inmate: I wonder if that's the guy I read about in the papers. I bet it is, that's Reginald Vel'Johnson, it's gotta be!
Inmate #2: Who the hell is that?!
Inmate: You don't know who Reginald Vel'Johnson is? He makes Madoff seem like a second rate pickpocket.
Inmate #2: Seriously? Isn't that the guy from "Family Matters?"
Inmate: You better get it together convict!, That's not Carl Winslow out there! And this isn't ABC's TGIF!!!!!
Inmate #2: Ok, Then what's with the silence of the lambs get up, just for a little white collar crime?
Inmate: Rumor has it, the arresting officer had to get reconstructive surgery after Reggie over there tried to eat his face off.
Inmate #2: No, shit, well I hope they don't put that maniac anywhere near us. Put his ass down there with the moolies or those filthy Persians.
Inmate: He'll probably go straight to solitary or PC, he won't be in general pop, I promise you that. And watch what you say about the Persians, they have ears everywhere...
Inmate 1 whispers with Air Quotes: "EVERYWHERE"
As he begins to be processed the Wang Twins stop with Roofus in Tow.
C.O: Unshackle that inmate!
A gruff female Correctional Officer about 5 feet nothing with a high and tight haircut and piercing eyes, shouts.
The wang twins oblige!
C.O: Now listen here inmate, this is Mourning Wood, we don't take kindly to that whole face eating thing round here. Now if you give me any trouble I will take this here night stick, and hit ya where the good lord jesus christ split ya. You get me convict?
A now extremly scared roofus just continues to nod in place!
C.O: Now strip!
Roofus: Uh what?
C.O: If I have to repeat myself!
C.O: STRIP! INMATE!
Roofus is frozen in fear at the thought of shedding his garments.
C.O: That's it, officers assist Mr.Vel' Johnson!
The Wang Twins sort of look around as they don't know the C.O. Means them!
C.O: MOVE IT!
The twins take a deep sigh and being to remove Roofus's garments as he makes really uncomfortable noises, he kind of sounds like a beached whale!
The Twins kind of just stop and stare in disgust at Roofus's bulbous frame. The female C.O however looks down, and raises and eyebrow as she looks up at Roofus who is essentially beet red.
C.O: NOW SPREAD THEM!, and COUGH!
Roofus!: MISTAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
We won't go into the rest of Roofus's processing suffice to say all involved are now scarred for life mentally and emotionally.Roofus is fully processed and begrudingly handed a khaki jumpsuit to replace his standard DOC jumpsuit. He's finally stopped wrenching back and forth. The Wang twins give Roofus two stiff forearms to the back pushing him towards his next destination. Two correctional officers take control of the deranged Vel'Johnson as we fade.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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No one deserves that! |
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I know those poor C.O's having to look at Roofus UGGGGH!!! |
Fausto pulls from a backstage screen and grabs a security guard as he storms down the hallways in the backstage area.
Fausto: "Security dude whose name I don't know and don't care to learn, we have a situation. A dangerous fugitive criminal may be trying to enter the building.
Fausto:I want this entire arena on lockdown. No one enters or leaves without being thoroughly searched.
Fausto:Every beard must be pulled on to make sure their real, hard enough that even glue won't protect their horrible disguises. And trust no one with an eyepatch!"
Security Guard: "Are you sure he's coming here?"
Fausto: "He's obsessed, he doesn't know that he's already lost. Call the police and shore up the extra security. I don't want his ugly mug on the show ever again. Cut any footage from that prison to the live feed. The best way to kill an egomaniac is to deny him attention."
Security: "Aren't you being a little rash?"
Fausto: "I DO NOT OVERREACT. Matter of fact, call the military. This is a matter of national security. The army needs to set up a barricade around the arena, I want the airforce ready to airstrike with nuclear weapons if he's spotted..."
Security: "Wouldn't...that...kill us all?"
Fausto: "Who is in charge here!? Get the coast guard on this too! He might be planning a naval assault."
Security: "We're 25 miles from the coast!"
Fausto: "BE READY. That man doesn't pay his taxes! Who knows what evil he has in store for us all."
Security: "Ok....sir. I'll get right on it."
The security guard runs off in some odd direction.
Fausto: "He's fired if Jay shows up and we're all not dead in a nuclear explosion... assholes questioning my orders."
Fausto rubs his chin.
Fausto: "I gotta start dropping the hammer on this..."
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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OCW's hit DEFCON 4! |
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This can't be real! |