As Hard Target rolls on, we cut backstage, where Stacy Clark stands with Paul Boulet, two men’s worth of dark red suit on his shoulders, and a conspicuous silver briefcase in his left hand.
SC: Mister Boulet, welcome to Hard Target--what do you think of the show so far?
Paul Boulet: I don’t know, I haven’t been watching it. To all those who ‘ave been competing, I am ‘appy for you, or sorry that ‘appened, or whatever.
Paul Boulet: Secondly, Miz Clark, because you are a very pretty girl I will not be rude, but you should refer to me as “monsieur.” I want to be associated with this anglophone connerie as much as ‘umanly possible, oui?
Stacy shoots a single glance at the camera worth a thousand synonyms for “this guy is really annoying,” before complying.
SC: Okay… Monsieur Boulet. If you’re not here to scope out the competition, what are you here for? Catering?
Paul sighs and looks at her like a disappointed 80s father looks at a son who has committed the cardinal sin of having effeminate hobbies.
Paul Boulet: Once again, I am choosing to ignore that. No, Miz Clark, I am ‘ere to make an announcement.
He reaches down for the briefcase and brings it up for the camera.
Paul Boulet: No, I am not Mr. Future Investment. I’d love to be, but C-Note creeps me out. He has got some cursed ancient Egyptian magic thing going on. I do not fuck with that. Paul Boulet is not ending up in the Scorpion King’s CGI tomb, eh?
He chuckles to himself.
Paul Boulet: But I ‘ave made an investment…
Paul clicks a button on the side, and the briefcase pops open, revealing that it’s stuffed with bills.
Paul Boulet: As you know, my upcoming match with the incredible--and I do mean incredible, as in ‘e ‘as no crédibilité--Victor Karmine, is a submission match. ‘E is probably in some stanky dojo somewhere, practicing ‘is little ‘eart out like the valiant hero type ‘e is. I will not be practicing. My wrestling… is perfect. The Loc Quebecois is the most dangerous submission maneuver in OCW today!
Paul Boulet: And I am putting my money where my mouth is. This is ten thousand United States Dollars--or for you folks in the superior country, Canada, one million dollars.
He sweeps a hand over the loot and takes one billfold out, waving it at the camera to show it’s stacked, and not with ones.
Paul Boulet: OCW wrestlers, people of New York and whatever other havens of scumchester and villainy we happen to be touring; if you can survive thirty seconds in the Loc Quebecois, without tapping out or verbally submitting, you can win this money. No hidden clauses, no fine print, and there will be an official there to make the call straight down the middle, like we do on the ice!
He takes a breath and snaps the case shut, drawing it back from the camera and back down to his side.
Paul Boulet: AISU was one of this company’s most recognized submission specialists--before I tapped him out to take his title. Victor Karmine tapped out to The Loc before he managed to SNEAK a pinfall on me due to the incompetent officiating. No one has tapped me out in OCW, and no one TAPS people out here like I do. You think differently? You know where to find me. Take your shot! Win ten thousand dollars… or go home cryin’.
He nods confidently, turning back to Stacy.
Stacy Clark: Certainly a confident challenge from The Goon, Paul Boulet! His match with Victor Karmine still upcoming on the first RIOT of November, but before then… will someone claim the cash? Who will step up? I guess we’ll have to wait and find out…
2 OUT OF 3 FALLS
CCW CHAMPIONSHIP
WREX vs. KING DOC*
Thanks to everyone who particpated in this event. And special shout to our Patreons yall keep the dream alive!
