The X-Tron Flickers On!
Cut-Throat holds a mic in his hand as he looks out to the crowd, half the crowd are chanting his name, the other half look confused as to what the hell he is doing here tonight , and where he has been.
Cut-Throat : I know what ye all be thinkin'.
He rubs his brow.
Cut-Throat : 'Where has ye been Cut-Throat?'
Cut-Throat : Well let me tell yee, after havin' no luck findin' and a plunderin' the HMS Matsuda , I set sail for his homeland , intent on rapin' and pillagin', minus the rapin'...
He strokes his rat tail goatee between his fingers.
Cut-Throat : But on the way, ole Cut-Throat got side tracked , with an opportunity too good te be missed.
Cut-Throat : I stumbled across the whereabouts of me grand-father , the last self proclaimed true pirate lord, Crossbones himself!!
He starts to hop up and down excitedly.
Cut-Throat : Turns out he was in an old folks retirement home just outside of Oklahoma all this time, so I turned hide and set sail back to America.
Cut-Throat : I finally laid eyes on him, late on a saturdays eve , sat there, all peaceful like, in his strange , chariot with wheels..his peg leg replaced with some work of witchcraft , and wearing some strange contraptions called 'Reebok's.
Cut-Throat : I bode my time, and waited til nightfall, til his strange , crew dressed in blue had left him unguarded , I slid up behind him and drew me cutlass, span him round in his chariot and yelled in his face -
Cut-Throat : THE LEGEND CONTINUES!
Cut-Throat : Not a sound he made, his gaze un-blinkered, I waited for him to draw his weapon...but nothing..not a single sound, nor movement.
Cut-Throat : I circled him, ready to pounce, waiting to slay me foe, and take his place as the greatest pirate that ever lived.
He starts to prod the air, mimmicking his movements from his tale.
Cut-Thoat : Still nothing...'What kind of dastardly game is this?' ..I asked him.
Cut-Throat : And still nothing..so I placed me cutlass back in her sheath, and took a step closer...
Cut-Throat : And then it happened.
Cut-Throat : With a might roar, crossbones opened his mouth and boomed -
Crossbones : 1,2,3,4...I DECLARE A THUMB WAR!!
Cut-Throat : He flung his hand towards me, and mine towards his, and we interlocked with an almighty 'CLAP'...locked in a deathgrip battle the likes of which will never be seen again.
Cut-Throat starts to mimmick the hand movements.
Cut-Throat : It was relentless, his thumb over mine, mine over his, I almost lost an eye to the dreaded 'sweat bead' ..the bane of all athletes.
Cut-Throat : For 12 days and nights we fought , neither party giving an inch , after the 4th day I dropped to a knee , all but succumbing to the burning desire in me bladder, and I'm not ashamed to say , I soiled meself , several times , in the pursuit of victory!!
Cut-Throat : On the 12th day, at 11.53am, he showed weakness, the old man blinked, and ole Cut-Throat took full advantage, I kicked the wheel of his chariot, and as he recoiled backwards, his grip loosened, and I pulled the old 'bait n switch'.
Cut-Throat : I swerved me thumb left, and at the last second, jerked it back to the right and placed it ontop of his thumb in a vice like grip , one of his crew who had been watching from the door came running over and slid down on all fours next to us, he began to count as he slammed his hand on the floor.
Cut-Throat : 1 , 2 , 3!!!
He jumps up and down again excitedly.
Cut-Throat : I had done it!! I defeated the greatest pirate alive , in the most deadly battle known to man!! I jumped to me feet, ripped off his mask and stood there, basking in me glory, holding my trophy up high for all to see [ he removes the mask from his pocket, and holds it high so the audience in the arena can see, he then places it on his head , over his own mask]...looking down at me broken foe , everyone in the building came running into the room , and we all stood, pointing and laughing at the broken old man in the wheeled chariot.
Cut-Throat : Until someone pointed out that technically I was trespassing and they had me thrown out on me behind...but still!!!
Cut-Throat : Ye see, I knew this was the perfect time , I knew I could not be beat..and do ye know why??
Cut-Throat : Because Cut-Throat once went 13 days without blinking!!!
Cut-Throat : THE LEGEND CONTINUES!!!
He drops the mic and runs from the ring, hops the barrier and disappears into the crowd as the audience look on in bewilderment.
The Camera pans to OCWFED Commentators Charles Scaggs and "Big" Al Poling.
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Yo-ho-ho- and a bottle of scum! |
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Pirate Lover! |
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Up next A.C Cobra has the chance of a lifetime as he takes on the Eternal EX-Division Champion. Matsuda! |
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This is gonna be rad! |
$$$
OCW EX-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
EXTREME RULEZ
A.C Cobra vs Matsuda
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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What a match. |
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WHAT A MANUVER |
The cameras catch up with the Blacklist backstage, following their ‘hard fought’ victory over the team of Austin Lee and… just Austin Lee.
Jonny D: WE DID IT!
Wheeler: Hell yeah we did! We showed the world and all our doubters that absolutely no one can stop us!
Jonny D: WE DID IT!
Wheeler: Yes. Yes we did. It.
Jonny D: When’s Mahvelous? It’s Blacklist baby.
At that moment Wheeler pulls out a large bottle of champagne and then pops it.
Wheeler: You know something D my friend, we’ve carved quite a path of destruction and success since we arrived here in OCW.
Jonny D: We beat those vampire dudes.
Wheeler: TWICE! I might add.
Jonny D: And with our win tonight that makes us three and oh at Pay-Per-Views. So when’s our title shot?
Wheeler: That’s a damn good question. In fact, where the Hell are the so-called ‘Tag Team Champions’ anyway?
Jonny D: Abuh… abay… abuhy…
Wheeler: Abeyance?
Jonny D: No the A-Team.
Wheeler: Oh that’s right! The undisputed champions of forever. Who are they facing tonight?
Jonny D shrugs.
Wheeler: Exactly. Those guys are off who the Hell knows where, while we’re here busting our asses and getting wins every single night.
Jonny D: So if they’re not here. In OCW. And we’re here winning every time at pay-per-view as the only people to even compete consistently as a tag team. That makes us the only members of the tag division. So... WE’RE THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
Wheeler: Correct! If this company doesn’t want to do anything about the stagnant tag team division, we’re gonna have to take matters into our own hands. So, from this moment on with the power invested in me by Blacklist Inc., I officially declare you and I OCW Tag Team Champions of the World!!!
Jonny D: A toast my friend?
Both members of the Blacklist pour the champagne into red solo cups.
Jonny D: To forever being the Blacklist Inc. OCW Forever World Tag Team Champions of the World Forever!
Wheeler: Forever!
Both: FOREVER!!!
They then proceed to drink their champagne while walking away.
Both: AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA HA!
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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They can't do that! |
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They just did!!!!!! |
$$$$
North American Championship
Mugen vs Buffness
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Good heavens. |
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Word. |
We're taken backstage, where Drago and Johnny Law are standing over a trash can, Drago looking like he's holding something.
Johnny Law: Ya did good out there, Drago. You finally kicked his ass and proved that nobody can change you.
Drago Cesar: Is true, Johnny. But now I'm have to get rid of something that been bothering for some time.
Johnny Law: What is it?
Drago raises his right arm to reveal a duffel bag, he unzips it to reveal his attires that he wore while under Djesus's wing. He drops the bag into the trash can and takes out some gasoline that was beside him.
He dumps that stuff all over the insides of the can and takes a lighter out from his vest pocket, then lights the insides of the can up. He pats Johnny on the shoulder and then they take off. The feed fades to black.
The Camera pans to the announce team!
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Symbolic |
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Indeed |