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The graphic for "In Your Crib" flashes across the screen as the theme music plays for a new edition of the segment. The graphic fades away and we find Trisha Waldrop standing next to The Lord of the Lariat Mugen in front of a low rise luxury apartment building in the Upper West Side of New York City.
Trisha: I'd like to introduce my guest for In Your Crib this week, The Lord of the Lariat Mugen.
Mugen: Thank you, it's a pleasure to be able to show the rest of the world how to live like a Lord. Now, please follow me.
Mugen leads Trisha into the lavish lobby of the building furnished completely in minimalistic modern furniture. Mugen greets the door man Melvin as he shows Trisha and the cameraman where the elevator is. The elevator is another marvel of modern design, complete with glass and gold everywhere. As they reach the top floor of the 8 floor building, they walk down the hall to the corner unit.
Trisha: I would have expected you to own a whole floor in this building.
Mugen flashes her a look that just says "come onnnn"
Mugen: Trisha Trisha Trisha, please. Understand that taxes here are a killer, if I were to own a whole floor it would be impossible for me to furnish my place as beautiful as I have.
Mugen unlocks the door and gestures for everybody come on in.
Mugen: Welcome to my crib universe.
Immediately, we see a modern kitchen with absolutely nothing on the counters except for a neatly arranged group of liquor and wine bottles.
Trisha: You do enjoy your alcohol don't you?
Mugen: After a long day at the gym or from traveling, nothing is better than partaking in some drinking. Now, does the world want to see how I stay in as amazing shape as I do? Well let's just check out my fridge!
Mugen opens the refrigerator for the cameras to reveal that there is absolutely nothing but bottles of water, beer and yogurt.
Trisha: My god, this is how you live? Where is your food?
Mugen: You have to understand that I don't cook. I eat out at the classiest places with the classiest people. People that even you, Op....er....Trisha do not have the privilege of dining with.
Trisha: Boy, you...
Mugen smiles at Trisha and motions for her and the cameraman to move to the next room. The segment moves on as they walk into the large, yet oddly empty living room area. The strange room is painted completely in black and with a black carpet on the floor. The sofa, coffee table and TV are completely white creating an odd looking room straight out of a 1990s music video.
Trisha: This room......is very interesting.
Mugen: Yes, I personally designed this room to show the contrast between life and death.
Trisha: That sounds really deep....care to explain?
Mugen: Well yes, when you step in the ring with me, you are still a living breathing organism. Once I hit you with a lariat, you will be gasping for dear life as you are on the verge of death.
There is an awkward silence for a few moments before Mugen grins for the camera.
Mugen: Now, let's move on to where the magic happens.
Mugen motions for the group to move down the hallway towards the bedroom.
Mugen: I must tell you first before we enter my room, my most prized possession is in the room. It is a bit in your face so please don't be alarmed.
Trisha: Care to let us know what it is first?
Mugen: Oh sure, it's a fantastic oil painting that I had commissioned by a fantastic artist in Brooklyn. The image is of yours truly holding all 15 belts from my Quincentuple Univeral Crown. Before that idiot Tibby Perry stole them from me.
Mugen opens the door only to be startled by something or someone as the scene fades to the "In Your Crib" graphic and the words "To Be Continued..." below
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Live from Salt Lake City , Utah
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Welcome LADIES AND GENTLEMAN TO OCW RIOT! THURSDAY NIGHT... SALT LAKE CITY... |
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Lets not be here. Lets cancel this show. |
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RIOT! |
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???: "Hello madame, how can I help you today?"
The camera fades into the spacious front lobby of the newly renovated Hilton in the Salt Lake Center, as the thus-far unnamed woman takes a look at the name card of the gentleman behind the concierge counter.
Woman: "Well, Ben I was looking to check-in please. There should be a reservation for two under the name...."
Before this woman can finish her sentence the phone at the desk rings at Ben has to take the call as he is the only staff member currently at the front.
Ben: "Excuse me ma'am, I'm sorry. This should only take a second.... Salt Lake Center Hilton, how may I help you on this fine day?"
The phone seems to be loud enough so that the caller can be heard by the camera.
Caller: "Ben!"
Ben: "Linda, I thought you were told never to call the front desk, we have customers to take care of!"
Linda: "Extreme circumstances Ben, we're going to need backup in room 617, lots of it!"
Ben: "What? alright, I'll send up another two crews, but you all need to hurry, we have guests with a reservation for that room arriving tonight."
Linda: "You may want to move them to a different room or call them and tell them there's been some unforeseen circumstances."
The camera man intrigued by the phone call follows the two extra crews up to room 617. When the crews and the camera man open the door and step in everyone's jaws dropas they enter upon a room that can only be described as destroyed.
Linda: "Why did you all bring a camera man? Actually, this is a good thing, now we have video proof of this mess!"
The camera pans around the room as remnants of broken beer bottles can be seen strewn everywhere. The mirror above the desk as well as the window with the beautiful view of the city skyline have been smashed and the apparent tool of said destruction is the desk chair which has been broken in three pieces. Several holes of varying size have also been forced into the walls, and the bed which stood atop a beautiful mahogany bed-frame is sitting directly on top of the floor with the bed-frame smashed into pieces and thrown about the room.
Linda: "If our visitor records aren't incriminating enough, this certainly is."
The camera man turns towards Linda, who is clutching in her gloved hands an empty can of Buff Blaster...
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The camera pans to the announce team.
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Hmm... |
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I'm confused. BUFF BLASTER DID THIS? |
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Probably not... |
The noise of the crowd can be heard, chinks of light catching the camera, a loud bang provokes a roar of approval from the OCW audience and it slowly becomes more and more apparent exactly where the camera is.
Under the bleachers.
Johnny Phoenix: "Last week I told the world chaos is a ladder, and like all ladders if you try to climb higher and higher you run the risk of tumbling to earth like a less glamorous Icarus. This misconception that we must all keep moving onward and upward is killing us all, watching people being asphyxiated by their own hopes and dreams is no way to live..."
Johnny Phoenix:" Which brigs me on to my next martyr, someone who buys into this self improving, success gratifying lifestyle that's pushed on us all from birth by the baying jackals of the mass media."
Johnny stretches, his neck joint cracking.
Johnny Phoenix: "Cody Storm, the son of God... An immaculate misconception that simply exists to perpetuate his feelings of self worth. I hate to break it to you but God is dead, I watched his fire be extinguished before my very eyes. It's all a pack of useless lies that needs to be left in the last... But I realise it's hard to forget, it's much easier to forgive those that emphasise the error of your ways, but don't worry Cosy, all you have to do is listen and open your heart... In time you'll be enlightened and in time you too will live... Just... Like... Me..."
Johnny chuckles as abruptly the camera shuts off, plunging the screen into darkness.
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