OCWFED.com Presents Riot

   

The final segment of In Your Crib opens with an ambulance arriving on the scene of Trisha Waldrop's greatest failure. We go inside, where an EMT is helping Trisha to her feet.

Paul Pugh is standing beside her, laughing and joking with Gus the cameraman as proverbial tweety birds fly around the head of our host. Pugh points at the name badge on the EMT's chest.

Pugh: Tolu? That's a very majestic name brother... what does that mean in your language?

Tolu: I mean... i'm from Chicago...

Pugh throws his hands in the air in dismay. Tolu is clearly offended as he helps Trisha out of shot, leaving Pugh and Gus in the scene together.

Pugh: Gus, can I ask you something?

Gus shrugs his shoulders

Pugh:
What's my payday here brother? We talking 5 figures right?

Gus shakes his head

Pugh: ...why don't you talk to me Gus? I invite you into my home. I try my hardest Gus - I try my hardest to make this place beautiful and you arrive and you trample my lawn, you drink all of my pickle juice and you leave big lady sweat on my vestibule floor. Why have you done this to me Gus? Do you hate me Gus? Gus? GUS? GUSSSSSSSSSSSS?

Gus: ...what?!

Pugh stops and looks at him for roughly ten seconds - enough time for Gus to be truly enraged.

Pugh: ...I hate you Gus.

Pugh's celebration of Black History month was brought to you by HAUSOFHOOT.com - if you'd like to make a donation to Trisha Waldrop's medical bills, then please buy a T-Shirt. No Trisha Waldrop's were harmed in the making of this ridiculous RP.

Except for one. She now lives in a wheelchair. Probably not forever. I mean... she's doing an episode of In Your Crib with Madison Cox next week right? Cox is a funny name, not just because it sounds like cock, but because it sounds like the plural of cock.

Which is cocks. Gus probably won't be there though. He's just a plot device so I could steal an Eddie Murphy bit. Yeah the guy from Nutty Professor... No you're thinking of Eddie Griffin. That's Undercover Brother.

Is Eddie Griffin still alive? Is that Katt Williams? Am I still typing? Sorry guys, I don't know what happened here. Is this even a promo at this point? I could just say watch Pugh vs H2O at Certified Greatness, but we both know you won't. The scene fades because Pugh has lost his mind...

 

 


The Camera Pans to The Ramp!

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The White Queen of Our ‘Humble’ Hero took a moment to close her eyes and savor the shower of disapproval from the audience. As much as she detested the smell of common folk and the sounds of their urban children, she was delighted to resume what she did best, eliciting a more hateful reaction from the audience as a mere manager than most of the in ring competitors who are supposed to be hated.

Madison:
Hear ye, Hear ye, pip pip! Your Queen, The White Queen of our Honorable and oh so humble Black King has returned! Now I know what you're thinking…


Madison: I did indeed deserve a longer rest. But a Queen’s work is never done. The Revolution has lost one of its own...so I'd like to take a moment of silence...

Madison waits half a second, and continues talking. Fans immediately start to boo her.

Madison
: For my attire at The Clash. It was stolen by a peasant. Much like Tom Brady’s jersey after making the second best comeback in sports history during the Super Bowl. The first, of course, being accomplished by Dennis Black during the main event of The Clash. When all seemed so bleak and impossible, my specimen of perfection overcame the odds once again. Such an underdog, just like the Patriots. People like to steal the clothing of winners, what can I say?

Madison stopped speaking as a fan wearing Versus merchandise jumps the guardrail. He's immediately tackled by security and escorted away.

Madison: My my...New York is a bit on the emotional side this evening. Let's turn those urban frowns upside down! Today is a very special day, ladies and gentleman. Tis my third favorite day of the year. A day for love, affection, and most importantly...edible arrangements!

Madison: February fourteenth is synonymous with love stories. Judging by the way most of you look...I can’t imagine you know the feeling of a true love story. How one seemingly dorky fellow could have something so beautiful, so sexy, stylish, causing so many men to make attempts at stealing her from him.

Madison paces around the ring.

Madison: But those attempts have all had the same result. Failure. She always comes back to him after a hard fought battle. He takes her home, gets a nice cloth and cleans her off before wearing her all... night ...long.

Madison bites her lip and looks to the camera.

Madison: As we steadily approach the year mark of the greatest title reign in OCW history, I simply wanted to take a moment to appreciate how driven he is to keep his favorite girl at his side. This IS Dennis Black history month afterall...

Madison points to the X - Tron.

 

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The camera pans to the announce team.

This woman is a menace!

I just can't with you right now!

 

It's a Match!
Bill Ding vs Drago Cesar

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Nate Ortiz walks out to the ring. This isn’t planned as his music is not played. As he is halfway down the guitar of “Rapture” can be heard but Nate motions for the truck to cut the music. He calls for a mic and begins to speak as he paces in the ring.

Nate: "On a night where we honored my best friend I finally got some good news. The police have a suspect. And it just so happens the guy has been employed here in the past. It’s a guy that has never been able to live up to the grand expectations set upon him. When I left to keep OCW afloat from the board room this guy let this place turn into an embarrassment."

Nate: "Instead of showing how a person can change over the course of a decade this guy has proven to be a bigger piece of shit now than he was back then. To take things beyond this 20 by 20 ring. To affect the lives of a man, his family, and all those that cared for him."

Nate’s anger begins to take hold.

Nate: "Just get your ass out here! I know you’ve been lurking. Laughing to yourself like you’ve done some great thing, when in reality you’re just opening yourself to the beating of a lifetime. The cops may need to be called after I’m done with you. Now get out here!"

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