The camera cuts to an eerie green fog. The camera cuts through the fog passing various reefs and coffins. The camera stops and zooms in on a wooden coffin that reads Sophia. The slowly the coffin begins to open. Inch by inch it creeps open until Hurricane Holly Hunter reveals herself. Holly’s braids cover her face and she lifts her head showing her face with her eyes rolled back.
She begins to laugh a laugh saved for the cruelest of super villains.
Holly: Wrestlution is only a few weeks away and the world will get to witness the live burial of Sophia’s career. But tonight I pay homage to an old friend and bring you to Holly’s Wake.
Holly reaches behind one of the many reefs and pulls out a not so flattering picture of Sophia. It had to be one of those extra shot mid motion where Sophia looks like she’s trying to hold in a sneeze.
Holly: Great picture of her isn’t it? You see I feel this perfectly captures the spirt of Sophia. An eye sore who no one wants to see!
Holly laughs again as evil as before.
Holly: Tonight we are going to bury this picture like Sophia will be buried in Japan. Just like her father your hero who’s stayed around far past his prime, she will lose.
Holly goes to reach for her trusty shovel but realizes that it is nowhere to be found. For the first time Holly looks legitimately distraught.
Holly: Where is Bellatrix?
She frantically searches to the delight of crowd. Through the fog she finds a note.
Holly lets out a man like roar and storms off. The camera zooms in on the note. It reads, “I can play games too” signed D.O.G.T.G.O.A.T.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Holly's mind games might have just came back to bite her in the bum!
SOPHIA IS DEAD COME, LUTION YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!
The Xtron Flickers On!
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The camera pans to the announce team.
YASSSSSSSSSS!
Nooooo!
Cole Kappa tiredly stands after his victory over Anthony Baker, he stares at Baker's prone body with a cocky smile on his face.
He puts his hands out with all 10 fingers up towards Baker, and slowly closes each one until none of them are up any more. He laughs to himself, leaves the ring and makes his way to the back, taking in the symphony of boo's.
But before he enters to the back, Kappa stops at the top of the ramp and signals for a microphone, one is brought to him shortly after and he begins to speak. The boo's from the crowd still unrelenting.
Cole Kappa: You guys clearly aren't too fond of me, but hey that's okay. All of you KNOW me, and little pigs... that's all I need.
He starts walking but then he stops abruptly and speaks again
Cole Kappa:And DAMN! do I look good.
He then drops his mic and enters back stage.
The camera pans to the announce team.
A big win no question!, but I can't wait for someone to put him in his place!
Why do you hate everything good on Riot? Charles?
After the stunning defeat to Sgt. Cort Marshall, H2O stands in the back just past gorrilla in utter shock. He folds his arms in front him and stares at the taping around his hands that reads, “Head Rook”.
He stands up while shaking his head and gestures to the crew for the microphone.
H2O: You know, it's been a disastrous couple months for H2O. This Head Rookie campaign started as a joke. A simple email to Samsin Simson.
H2O: But then I took it to great lengths. To the rise up to Certified Greatness then the fall until now. This Head Rookie campaign is history. It will always be apart of me but I have to let it go.
H2O, while still staring out to the crowd stretches his arm out and slowly rips the “Rook” tape off his hand.
Then rips the “Head” off the other. The camera pans out to the fans at ringside showing sadness and sincerity.
H2O: Lution is just around the corner and I'll be damned if my (beep) is NOT on that card!
H2O I'm going to Tokyo the same way I arrived in OCW, a, goddamn winner.
H2O drops the mic and walks to the lockerroom.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Keep your head up, kid!
Or down, because you are a LOSER!, AHAHAHAHAHA
The Xtron Flickers On!
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The camera pans to the announce team.
Oh jeez!
Is this Teen Disney or OCW FOR Pete's SAKE!
OCW PRESENTS SENTAI HARE IN
SENTAI HARE SAVES
EASTER !!!
After the dramatic intro it is revealed Sentai Hare is already in her “Hare Mobile” which is just the backseat of an Uber.
Sentai Hare: Yeah. The mall here said the Easter Bunny would be there!
The camera pans to reveal the driver of the vehicle is wearing shades!
Driver: That information is bad! HAHAHAHAH- I mean uhhh yeahhhh well I know a shortcut.
Sentai Hare: Brilliant I’ll be able to save Easter in time!
With that the driver speaks into his wrist watch which is blinking red for some reason.
Driver: Its time.
Sentai Hare: To save the day!
The driver just nods as Sentai Hare awkwardly adjusts in the backseat to try to give a heroic pose, but due to the seat belt fails.
Sentai Hare: And always remember safety first.
Jazz notes rise as the camera whirling zooms to the next scene where the car is parked and Sentai Hare exits the vehicle. Its seemingly in an abandoned dark warehouse.
Sentai Hare: Wait this is not the mall.
The driver with sunglasses lowers the car window.
Driver: Yeah, but if you think about it is the mall. If the Easter Bunny was the villain he’d want you to think you wouldn’t be at the mall.
Sentai Hare: You raise a very good point, sir… I didn’t catch your name.
As the driver also exits the vehicle he stumbles a bit shocked.
Driver: JIM AMYTONY BOB THE THIRD! Sentai Hare looks at him for a little bit.
Sentai Hare : Ah that must be Swedish I couldn’t tell because of the black mask you were wearing… WAIT A MINUTE A BLACK MASK ONLY BAD GUYS WEAR BLACK MASKS!
The Driver takes off shades indeed revealing he was truly wearing a black mask underneath his shades the whole time! A slow clap can be heard in the distance as the lights for the warehouse all light up at one… at…. A time… revealing 1… 2 ….. 3… 4 … many black masked men surrounding … a light appears revealing a tied up Easter Bunny to a chair!
Finally the last light appears revealing…
SAM THEJANITOR THE JANITOR FROM ROAD TO GLORY WHO SENTAI HARE MAY HAVE GOTTEN UNINTENTIONALLY UNEMPLOYED BY SAVING THE DAY!
Sam The Janitor: Sentai Hare. You knew my true identity. That is why you cost me my job. My name is THE JANITOR and I clean up the filth of humanity by ridding them of dirtiness.
Sam The Janitor: Like you filthy disgusting dirty rodents they call bunnies. By getting rid of the Easter Bunny I will clean Easter. No more chocolate eggs, no more marshmallow rabbits instead they will get toothpaste to clean their mouths out!
Sam The Janitor: No more finding eggs outside instead they will find brooms to mop all the floors. AND MOST OF ALL INSTEAD OF ATTENDING CHURCH THEY WILL SPEND THEIR DAY AT JANITORIAL COLLEGE!
THE JANITOR LETS OUT THE MOST EVIL OF EVIL LAUGHS!
Sentai Hare: No that is not the true meaning of Easter and I shall not stand for this!
She enters a combat pose and initiates combat with all the generic black masked minions. She takes out 2 with a BLAM! Sentai Kick! Another one with POW! Rabbit Punch to the bread basket, but the rest start to surround her.
Sentai Hare: You guys sure like to play dirty. Luckily Sentai Hare never leaves without her Hare Brush!
She takes out her Hare Brush which is just a normal pink hair brush with “Hare Brush” written on its spine and is about to swi-
THE JANITOR: Not. So. Fast.
The Janitor has a mop to the Easter Bunny’s throat.
THE JANITOR: Drop your weapon or the Easter Bunny gets it!
Reluctantly Sentai Hare has to drop her Hare Brush as it is the Heroic thing to do.
THE JANITOR: FOOL!
THE JANITOR swipes his mop into the Easter Bunny’s face and
???: ITS HOPPIN’ TIME!
THE EASTER BUNNY LIGHTS UP WITH A GREEN FLASH AND CHANGES INTO A GREEN SENTAI HARE AND IS FREE FROM HIS BONDS! HE HOPS NEXT TO SENTAI HARE!
Green: You really saved my bunny butt. Let's make this a clean sweep. BUNNY BLASTER GO!
Green Sentai Hare reveals a green House of The Dead 2 Light Gun while Sentai Hare picks back up her Hare Brush and they both easily destroy the baddies with many invisible bunny bullets and Hare Brush strokes of justice!
All that was left was THE JANITOR, but he has disappeared. All that can be seen is a floor drenched in water and a “Slippery When Wet” Sign.
Green: It seems THE JANITOR has slipped from our grasps!
Sentai Hare: Its not ogre yet my Shrek pigmented friend. Sentai Hare might travel by land, but she never leaves without her Harepoon gun!
Taking out a plastic Harpoon Gun with a Pink Bunny mounted on its head. She seemingly shoots it in a random direction in the sky as the camera cuts to THE JANITOR running outside panting.
THE JANITOR: I’m about to reach THE JANITOR’s closet. Once I get in I never need to come out!
Finishing his sentence he can only stare in the camera in horror as a Pink Bunny projectile lands on his head and knocks him unconscious.
The scene swirls back with all the bad guys tied up and Sentai Hare posing for the camera giving her peace sign pose. The Green Sentai Hare however kneels before her.
Green: Princess Sentai Hare. Heir to the Hare Kingdoms. Your fighting skill is truly matched by your kindness. I was sent by your grandfather Sensei Hare from Drago Island to assist you.
Sentai Hare: Assist? Like a sidekick.
Green: It’d truly be an honor and a privilege for I a simple knight of the Rabbit Rangers to serve under you. I ask will you notice me Sentai?
Sentai Hare: On one condition. Don’t call me princess. I need to intimidate my foes and if I start being recognized as one how would anyone fear me?
The Green Sentai Hare can only stare blankly.
Green: … Of course.
Sentai Hare: Awesome I have my very own sidekick! Anyways what’s your name?
Green: Damn it.
The Green Sentai Hare stands up proudly before the Pink Sentai Hare. He gives a much exaggerated self point.
Green: I’M BUNNY D!
Sentai Hare and Bunny D do a simulataneous muscle pose as the segment ends and a really quick credits roll
The camera pans to the announce team.
KAPOW TAKE THAT!!!!SAM!
A MAN LOSES HIS JOB AND YOU CELEBRATE?
Buddy Burns vs Kik Goodwin Gable
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The camera pans to the announce team.
HOLY HELL THIS IS TOTAL ANARCHY!!!!
Are they even going to make to Wrestlution!
The limo sits under an overpass, Leon leans out of the sunroof drinking beer. Luther and Jack are nowhere to be seen. Jack then appears from behind a column, with a hideously thin woman, with sunken in cheeks, and empty, soulless eyes. Jack takes a small baggie off of his drug anal bead rope and tosses it in her direction.
Leon: We done here?
Jack: Sure, whatever.
Leon: What's wrong with you? Too many drugs, lil gentleman won't work?
Jack: It'll work, but not for that beanpole.
Leon: What? I mean...for a meth head...she wasn't too bad.
Jack: I like my women...middle American.
Leon: I'm terrified, but elaborate.
Jack: I only get off from chunky housewives with underboob sweat from curves. Big square fartboxes and a big ol' fupa, stretchmarks...the works!
Leon: So why did you choose an underpass? We could have just stopped at a Curves.
Jack: I have to stay 50 yards away from all Curves until 2019. Apparently, standing outside of a Curves establishment eating a bag of Lindt chocolates and beating off staring into the workout area is frowned upon.
Leon: I can understand their point on that one Jack.
Jack: Then I won't mention that I finished on a Snickers and offered it to them.
Leon gags and shakes his head in disbelief. You then hear a bit of rustling behind another one of the columns, when Luther comes out, still naked, followed by 2 beautiful women, dripping wet...no not like that, like they just came out of a pool.
Luther: Now no other man will touch you!
The girls walk off, holding hands, and whispering to each other happily.
Leon: The hell mate? So many questions...How did you get 2 of the most good looking whores I've ever seen, under an overpass in the middle of nowhere? And why did they look like they just swam in a pool?
Luther: I marked my territory. Now, they're mine.
Leon: Jesus...Jesus man...I'm now certain you were raised by cavemen.
Jack: I tried to mark mine too, but I'm on so many drugs my stream is almost strong enough to reach the tips of my toes.
Leon: Too much...I...we need to go. And Driver, hit up a place I can get more alcohol. I need more, and I need it now.
The camera pans to the announce team.
GROSS!
This is why you still live with your Grandma!
Time Stamp - Some time last week
The scene opens and you see a sight that you would have never imagined in a million years. The sight of Dimsmore……. carrying groceries in the house. SHOCKING!!! Anyways, he also has his earbuds in his ear and seems to be on the phone. He is having a very heated conversation with some high ranking official in OCW.
Dimsmore: THIS IS BIGGER THAN THE PURGE. BIGGER THAN REV INC. BIGGER THAN OCW. THIS COWARD HAD THE AUDACITY TO INJECT MY WIFE WITH THAT SYRINGE. AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM??
Dimsmore places the bags on top of the island counter. He begins to put them away and in the distance he hears the faint sound of a bell.
Voice: Dimmy (Ring Ring Ring) Dimmmmmmyyyyyyyyy (Ring Ring Ring)
Dimsmore: (Rolls his eyes like any husband would) Look, do whatever you have to do to make that happen and call me back.
Dimsmore hangs up his phone, places it on the counter along with his earbuds and heads into the living room. Once in the room, you see Lacy Love laid out on the couch.
She has padded sling for her right arm, a foam neck brace, both knees are wrapped with Ace bandages and ice packs, both ankles with heavy duty braces on them and an eye patch. She continues to ring the bell until Dimsmore acknowledges her.
Dimsmore: ……….. Yes dear.
Lacy: Could you get me a water from the fridge, pour it in a tall glass and with half of a lemon and a quarter of a lime? Oh and a pinch of splenda??
Dimsmore doesn’t necessarily responds but he heads back into the kitchen. He also begins to mumble to himself.
Dimsmore: This woman went to Rite-Aid and got all these bandages, braces and what not after her encounter and the doc only told her to rest and take it easy. But what do I know?
As Dimsmore is gathering the “ingredients” for Lacy’s water, his phone rings. He recognizes the number as one from the OCW offices. He puts the earbuds back in his ears and answers the call.
Dimsmore: Hello?? What’s the word??
Dimsmore: DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH WITH ME!! DO I HAVE THE MATCH OR NOT??
Dimsmore slowly develops a grin on his face. That grin turns into a chuckle and gradually turns into a very evil and sadistic laugh. The scene fades.
