The camera fades in with members of Sanctuary sat in the OCW medical office of Madison Square Garden, Crossbones is sat on a desk, seemingly muttering to himself as Crowe and Pyra sit in chairs either side of him.
Bones: 3 go in, 1 comes out.....3 go in, 1 comes out.......revenge...REVENGE!!
Pyra: I'm getting really tired of this...nonesense.
Bones: TETS!
Crowe: Relax, the doc will be in shortly, and then maybe we can get some sense out of this one.
He nods in Bones' direction.
Bones: There be no king here, we be all free men!! I wish te be stayin' that way!
Just then the doctor walks in.
Doctor: Hello all, my name is Dr.Gibbs.
Bones: Gibbs? GIBBS? I once knew a man named Gibbs! or was it Dobbs? maybe it was Gobbs, could have even been Dibbs.....
Everyone in the room looks equally as confused, except Bones, who this is all making perfect sense to.
Doctor: Ok then, let's proceed shall we?
He opens his file and has a scan over his notes.
Doctor: So who do we have here?
Crowe: His name is Crossbones, and he's..well....broken?
Doctor: Crossbones? hmmm..it says here his name is.....
'TETS!!
They all turn to look at him
Bones: 3 go in, down she went, soaking wet, a busty wench!
Pyra: He's been like this since he joined us, but he's getting worse, he keeps 'changing'.
Doctor: Changing?
Crowe: Just wait, you'll see what she means, please continue with your examination, this can't just be amnesia, it can't be.
The doctor walks over to him and takes out his torch, a small click can be heard before he shines his light into each of Bones' eyes.
Doctor: these are some nasty scars, how did he get them.
Bones: They wanted what was mine!! But they couldn't take the shine, the filthy rotten swine!
Doctor: Interesting, ok, first of all, I'm going to address the elephant in the room..this man is dressed like a pirate.
Crowe: Yes, well that's obvious, he is Crossbones, the last pirate king of Tortuga.
The doctor walks over and whispers into Pyra's ear.
Doctor: [whispering] You people know he's not actually a pirate, correct?
Crossbones' left eye twitches and his head flicks down to touch his left shoulder, he jumps from the desk, standing almost at attention.
Crowe: I think he heard you.
Pyra: Did you see it? there it was, the twitch thing, he did it again.
Doctor: Please take a seat Mr.Crossbones.
Crossbones: I'm sorry, Crossbones isn't here right now.
All 3 look a little surprised.
Crowe: Well this is new........
Doctor: I see, so to whom am I speaking?
???: You know not who you address?
The doctor looks over to Crowe.
Doctor: Any ideas here?
Crowe: You tell us, you're the doc.
???: Any promise made beside the word 'forever', is no more than a lie agreed upon.
Doctor: Who am I speaking to again?
???: If you fought like a man, you wouldn't die like a dog.
The doctor takes a step backwards.
Crowe: Relax bones, nobody is dying today, this man just wants to ask you a few questions.
???: Bones? The only bones I know mark the place, the place where it all ended, but all began again, and I have returned, to go back on the account as I see it.
Doctor: The account?
Crossbones hops backwards onto the table.
Crossbones: TETS!!!
His left eye twitches again.
Crossbones: they are coming!! I have warned ye!! 3 went in, 1 came out!!
Pyra: He's done it again, see what I keep telling you Lucas, goes from jibberish, to perfect English, back to gibberish!
The doctor takes a seat at his desk and starts typing away at his computer.
Crossbones: How are the articles? Does everyone be in agreement? Do we have an accord? CAPTAIN ON DECK!
Doctor: There's a few things going on here..clearly some kind of head trauma has happened, but according to this.....
Crossbones: TETS!
Doctor: As I was saying, clearly some kind of head trauma, some form of amnesia too, but he also has a unique strain of tourette's syndrome.
Crowe: What?
Doctor: It's extremely rare, the last recorded version of this strain was way back in the 1700's, it's called tour-tets syndrome.
Pyra: That's ridiculous.
Crossbones: TETS!
Doctor: Like I said, tour-tets syndrome, instead of shouting out random expletives, he focuses on 1 particular thing, in Mr.Bones' case, it's......
Crossbones makes the hand gesture of huge breasts.
Crossbones: TETS!!
The doctor waves his hand towards Bones and makes a 'told you so' face.
The doctor quickly injects a sedative into Bones' shoulder, and within in 3 seconds he's out cold, slumps off the desk and hits the ground with a hard thud.
Pyra: What the hell?
Doctor: I'm sorry, but that was driving ME crazy.
Crowe: That's it? All this behaviour is because of this one little thing? That doesn't help us at all.
Doctor: Oh no, don't get me wrong, he's clearly bat shit crazy, you can look that up, it's an official medical term.
Doctor: I'd also say he's not alone in there.
He taps Bones' on the head.
Crowe: What does that mean.
Doctor: Look, I'll level with you both, this is a grown man, who believes he's a pirate, brought to my office by you [he points at Crowe], who I assume believes you are a vampire, am i on hidden camera or something?
Crowe looks confused.
Doctor: I don't know how I can make it more obvious..a man who thinks he's a pirate, who wrestles for a living, he's basically a cosplayer on steroids....who knows what level of head trauma he has suffered.
Crowe: Apparently he once sat through all 3 Godfather films without having a single toilet break.
Doctor: I fail to see how that information is relevant.
Pyra: Look it up, The Legend of Crossbones.
Doctor: Please take him and leave my office, I don't get paid enough for this nonesense.
Pyra: Ok, well I guess thanks for nothing then doc.
They scoop Bones up off the floor and leave the office as the scene fades.
The camera pans to the announce team.
I mean sometimes, the truth comes out!
TETS!!!!!!!
* Katherine stands in the back as she gets ready to come out and address to the fans. As her music hits she turns around and goes toward the exit.
Jim Black sees her going back and tries to stop her and get a word.*
Jim Black : Excuse me Kat ( she stares at him )
Jim Black:
I mean Katherine ,why are you leaving?
Katherine : Hey Jim , how you doing?
* Jim Black takes a step back*
Katherine: Don't worry Jimmy you are safe long as you know your place.
Katherine:
I'm leaving because I don't want to talk I want to fight. I'll see you soon to show you what I mean.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Thats one way to make a point!
YAWP!
STIGMATA VS VINCENT WINTERS
The camera pans to the announce team.
Fighting from under!
Game BALL!
The scene opens to Baker with a wide smile on his face before holding up a whiteboard that reads “HI MOM!” The camera pans to Matt as he shakes his head in disapproval.
Matt: As it seems that the contestants are ready let’s get into this.
Matt: The first question is for you, Harvey! What is your best friends favorite OCW wrestler?
H2O: Pfft, that's a no brainer! Himself.
The buzzard sounds off.
Matt: I'm sorry, Harvey. But that is incorrect sir.
Baker: Ah man, see, uh, NO! Dude, YOU’RRRRRRRE my favorite wrestler.
H2O: I'm sorry man. I didn't know.
Matt: Anthony same question for you.
Baker looks at Harvey for a second to think about his answer.
Baker: I know Harvey is all about himself with the most annoying thumb pose, H-2-O.
Baker mocks Harvey’s and points his thumbs to himself.
Baker: BUT I know Harvey is a nice guy. So it would be me, Matt.
The buzzard sounds off again.
Matt: I'm sorry, Anthony. But you should've went with your first answer as my teachers used to say. The correct answer WAS himself.
Baker: Dude, you're so conceited!
Matt: Moving on to our second question. Harvey, what is Anthony’s favorite place to eat?
H2O: That’s an easy one. Are you serious? Subway. The BLT there is his ish.
The bell dings as H2O gets a point.
Matt: Now it’s your turn Anthony. The same question.
Baker: This man can never make his mind up. But um, White Castle?
The bell dings as Baker also gets a point.
Matt: Look at you two go. Now, Harvey. What is Anthony’s middle initial?
H2O puts his fingers on his chin while trying to think.
Baker: Look Mom! The thinking emoji!
Harvey stops thinking and looks at Baker with a smirk.
H2O: But much better good looking.
Baker rolls his eyes and puts his finger in his mouth with such disgust.
H2O: Matt, he doesn't have a middle name so he doesn't have a middle initial.
Baker looks at Harvey with a dumb look.
Baker: Dude. Are you f****ing stupid?!
The bell dings as Harvey gets another point.
Baker: I’m kidding my dingleberry. You right! He’s my best friend!
Matt: Okay, Anthony. What is Harvey’s middle initial?
Baker: Simple. Hamilton. H2O. DUH! You stinky.
The bell dings as Baker gets a point.
Matt: Okay. You two are tied and this is the final question. There is no more after this, Harvey. What is Anthony’s favorite sea-
H2O responds before Matt even finishes the question.
H2O: His favorite season is this season right here, Matty! Season 13 is where you will find B2O washing up this tag team division with such style and flare your Mama will be throwing her panties at us as we celebrate with those titles!
Matt looks confused as that was not what he meant. But we can see Baker with a huge smile on his face as he’s nodding his head wildly. The bell rings and H2O gets a point.
Baker: And my best friend’s season is this season! Season 13. The season where B2O will become the Tag Champions of the world. The season where I don’t need a Dad cause I’ll have your mom instead.
The bell sounds again and Baker gets a point as well.
Matt: Ladies and Gentlemen these two yet again have a tiiiiiieeee!!!
All kinds of balloons and confetti drops down from the rafters and onto the set as B2O celebrates. They pose in front of the camera and gesture as if they are winning the tag titles.
Matt: It's a 1st on our show but for these two they are both equally dynamic and invigorating!
Matt: Join us next time on our show, “Who's The Better Friend?” I'm your host, Matt Johnson and well see you next time! Good night everybody!
