The camera pans to the back where Stacey is interviewing Ijitu Quartz, he is holding the back of his neck.
Stacey: So Quartz, you were up against Natolie Joe for your first match here on Riot, how did that go, were you expecting that? As an unknown, what can people expect from you going forward?
Quartz (breathing heavily): An unknown! Stacey, let me let you in on a little secret.
Quartz suddenly stops and stares at something behind Stacey. The camera slowly pans around Quartz to reveal what has caught his eye.
Quartz: You like what you see, little guy?
Rust Cohle stands still. Deadlocked on Quartz, a smug, confident smirk rolls across his face as he eyes down the rookie.
Rust: Hm..... Hi Stace. Not bad out there, kiddo.
Quartz: Sorry, but who are you? You want some of what great value monopoly man just got?
Cohle looks at him with a little smirk and walks away eithout saying a word. The camera fades away as Quartz murmurs something and throws on his sunglasses.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Man that Rust guy is kind of unlikeable!
It is called SHOWBIZ, not SHOW Friendship!
A.C. Cobra vs Jookie vs Scaar
The camera pans to the announce team.
(Checks Watch)
Different Timeline!
As I step foot into our very own locker room, I put my bags down for a moment. Then my locker room phone rings. Startled by the unfamiliar sound, I walk over towards it confused.
Not knowing who it was, I press speaker and answer anyway.
Mom2O: Harvey!
I look towards the phone and I recognize that voice instantly. But I ask myself a very serious rhetorical question, “SELF, how dare she talk to The Lightheavyweight Champion like that!”
Notice I said to myself? I wouldn’t be caught dead talking to Mom like that. Champion or not.
As she continues to talk I can only hear her voice speak to me in ”Charlie Brown” if you know what Harvey means.
Nevermind that lets continue cause she’s still talking!
Mom2O: You know, you’re never home anymore! You don’t call….(Charlie Browned)
I really don’t have time for any of this. I have someone I need to discuss business with. Plus, I have a match later on tonight.
Wait! What did she just say?!
Mom2O: I talked to some of the finer folks of OCW and told them my good ol’ son doesn’t have time to see his family anymore.
Mom2O: So I asked if they could set up some sort of arrangement to see our extended family member, Ligermask. Have you seen him yet honey?
This woman I swear is gonna be the death of me. When she said, “I brought you in this world and I can take you out….”
I guess she must’ve set up my funeral arrangements for tonight.
H2O: Mom! What in the world did you do? I have a match with hi…….
Liger: Tranquiiiiiiiiiillllllooooooooo.
DEFEATED SIGH!!!!!!!!
He’s standing right behind me?! I haven’t even sat down yet!
H2O: Thanks Ma. Gotta go!
I had to hang up quickly. She’s too much right now.
So this is how we’re going to deal with today?! This guy should be VIOLATED but I know my mother will overturn it in Hoot Court!
Liger: Tranquiiiiiiiiiillllllooooooooo.
H2O: Alright already! What do you mean? The time that I was with Heather I asked her what that means.
H2O: Said it can mean a lot of things. Be quiet, calm, at peace, umm and so many other things. I can’t do neither cause you’re so ANNOYING!
Liger: Tranquiiiiiiiiiillllllooooooooo!!!!
I can’t with this guy today. Not after what he has done with my house. It went from a nice comfy home into his tranquility.
NO! I said the “T” word. “T” is for Trash! I’m gonna be wasted tonight if I don’t get away from this guy!
H2O: Get out Liger! This isn’t my house. It’s my room! Please go!
Is he serenading me with a song right now?!
Mom2O: Oh Liger...What a beautiful voice.
Oh no. I thought I hung up on her! These Old Country phones.
Mom2O: Oh and Harvey. I’m your mother. I can read your mind before you say anything. Wait until you get home!
I’m done with tonight already and we didn’t even start yet.
Mom2O: You’re right Mister!
The camera pans to the announce team.
Oh for heaven's sake!
TRANQUILLO, Sir!
Jett Draven vs Ricky The Dragon
The camera pans to the announce team.
(Checks Watch)
He got all of it!
Evil has many faces. Some say she breaks evil in pieces.
Sentai Hare!
Our Bombshells/Women's Champion is coincidentally walking around in the middle of a park using her portable garfield telephone that is actually designed as a house phone.
Sentai Hare: So what your saying is?
Garfield Phone: Snig snug shippy doo wag.
Sentai Hare: Even though I saved the timeline. Crazy things are afoot?
Garfield Phone: Fliffy sniffle la fignut strudle.
Sentai Hare: And it’s just not people dressing up as me in order to get title shots!?
Garfield Phone: Agh lug schnug angly tagy.
She hangs up.
Sentai Hare: This is worse than I thought.
CLANG~! A grandfather clock collapses behind Sentai Hare. The Garfield Phone flies out of her hands and she almost falls over in surprise.
Sentai Hare: EEEEEK!
A grandfather clock in the middle of a park…
Sentai Hare: There must be alternate versions of myself trying to get into the brightest timeline I created!
A Red version of Sentai Hare appears before her holding a Future Investment Briefcase.
Sentai Hare: Bunny M?
The Red Sentai Hare has a deeper voice, possibly EVIL in nature.
Red Sentai Hare: Call me Sentai Hare The Red. Bunny M was a rabbit ranger.
Sentai Hare The Red:
I eliminated him in my timeline and absorbed his hardcore rabbit ranger power.
Sentai Hare The Red:
His destiny was to to be a vanquished rabbit ranger. So is yours.
Sentai Hare: Eliminating is not in my nature. I don’t understand why you are doing this.
Sentai Hare The Red: It is in my dark evil timeline.
Sentai Hare The Red:
You foolishly never learned the true power of the Future Investment briefcase.
Sentai Hare The Red:
When you are gone I alone will have the Bombshells title!
Sentai Hare hugs her Championship.
Sentai Hare: Mine!
Sentai Hare The Red: Mine!!!
They both stand off and draw their Hare Brushes which look just like normal hair brushes with their respective logos on it.
They both throw their Hare Brushes like projectiles and they clash.
However after they clash they magically grab their own Hare Brushes like if somehow the footage was using a “Rewind” function.
They then proceed to enter melee combat and when the Hare Brushes connect it starts making sword sounds and whooshes.
With many ninja backflips and acrobatics it ends when Sentai Hare stabs Sentai Hare The Red anti-climatically.
She releases her Hare Brush and Sentai Hare The Red sells it with a front flip for reasons unknown.
Sentai Hare The Red disappears back to her timeline.
Sentai Hare runs off into the distance knowing there is much left to be done.
… to be continue…?
The camera pans to the announce team.
AMAZING!
Didn't someone call Riot a God Damned Anime? Because this just felt like a God Damned Anime....YAMMMMEERRRRRRRO
