The scene opens with Stacy Clark sitting next to Cheryl in her dressing room. Cheryl seems to be excited about her first Clark Effect appearance, so much that she barely allowed Stacy to say anything, constantly interrupting ordering Danny to make their guest feel welcome.
Cheryl: You want more champagne? What about another chocolate-dipped strawberries?
Stacy: actual-
Cheryl: MORE STRAWBERRIES DANNY!
Stacy: ...but I-
Cheryl: Oh I am so sorry… AND THE CHAMPAGNE DANNY! SHE’S THIRSTY!
Cheryl yelled at Danny, that was already too busy trying to handle other five different requests.
Cheryl: He’s good with hair and all of those things, but besides that, he’s not what you would call “a genius”... hahaha
Stacy: No, it’s ok Cheryl! I’m good really. Actually, I just really wanted to start our interview. So, can we start it… finally?
Cheryl: Oh… Sure, sure… I just wanted to make sure that you were bein-
Stacy: I’ve never been better Ms. Stixx! Shall we?
Clearly more nervous than the usual, Cheryl’s excitement wasn’t being enough to cover up her anxiety. Hoping to keep everything under control, Cheryl gave Stacy and awkward thumbs up.
Stacy: Hello OCW Universe and welcome to this week edition of the Clark Effect. It was extremely hard to get this guest to sit and talk with us, but she’s finally here! The Vicious Showgirl, Cheryl Stixx. Thank you for being here Cheryl!
Cheryl: Oh Stacy, it’s an honor to be here with you! I can’t believe I’m finally here, it feels so special to allow the OCW universe to know me a little be more. I’m sure they’ll love it!
Stacy: Oh… well, I mean, sure! They’ve been asking for you for a while. And I’m going to ask you some questions that I’m sure everyone wants to know.
Stacy: First of all, how do you feel about the new attitude Quinn has had ever since your match with Valkyrie?
Cheryl: Well, Riley is a grown woman and so am I. Apparently, we don’t agree about everything… She’s entitled to her own opinion and you know what Stacy? I don’t care… we’re still allies, but we’re not the same person.
Stacy: Do you think she thinks the same thing?
Cheryl: I guess you’ll have to ask her.
Stacy: Alright, moving on… So, tell me, what is the deal with you and CJ? Are you an item? Are you strictly friends with benefits?
Cheryl: Well… I don’t know what you heard or what you think you know Stacy, but we’re friends. CJ is someone special, I care about him and he definitely had some influence on me over the past few weeks. But please, let’s not throw me under Riley’s bus… haha!
Stacy: Well, I’m pretty sure that saying that he’s special is practically confirming that you’re more than friends… but ok, I’ll buy it. For now.
Stacy: Now let’s talk about other special someone in your life: Valkyrie.
Stacy: You two delivered an excellent match at Lution, but it came with not so great consequences for Valk. Do you feel any remorse over what you did to Valkyrie?
As soon as Stacy asks about Valkyrie, Cheryl starts to feel really uncomfortable and, for a second, seems to break her plastic happy celebrity act.
Cheryl: I’m not here to talk about someone that attacked me backstage. That bullied me and tried to portrait me as villain just because I look good.
Cheryl: She asked for everything that happened to her. And you know what Stacy? You know that! The OCW universe knows that. And OCW Knows that too. If I was wrong I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have my job.
Cheryl: Valkyrie is the personification of every nasty thing that people say about me. And I proved her wrong. I am here because I am a good wrestler. If you wanna insinuate anything else, good luck with that. But first, take a good look at where Valkyrie ended up.
Valkyrie: Wait just a minute…
Valkyrie enters the scene, accompanied by a couple of Production Team members.
Valkyrie: Dear Stacy, can’t you see it’s summertime? I saw the previous episodes of the Clark Effect: your “guests” always treat you poorly and disrespect you constantly. I think you deserve a vacation.
Valkyrie: Please, allow me tonight to replace you and finish this interview in your place.
Stacy is flustered by her words, but Valkyrie doesn’t waste time and politely shows her way out of the room. The production team then quickly set up a sign in the middle of the scene, that reads “The Valhalla Effect”.
Valkyrie then picks up the microphone as Cheryl looks on in disgust. She clears her throat and gets ready to start.
Valkyrie: If Kass and Ryu can have the Trash Effect, then I can have my own...
Valkyrie: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the very first edition of the Valhalla Effect. I’m your host, Valkyrie and I’m here tonight with the scum of the earth: Cheryl Stixx!
Valkyrie: So Stixx, please tell me. How does it feel to have failed so miserably to end my career? I’m still here alive and well, as you can see. I buried Moore in 6 minutes last week and I could take on both you and Riley if they are ever going to give us that handicap match.
Cheryl: Wait, what is this? What are you doing Valkyrie? Anyway, I’m glad you’re here… and this attitude? It just proves my point. And if you really think you’re somehow threatening for beating Moore… it just shows how delusional you are, you still are.
Valkyrie: Mmmm… next question! Cheryl, we all know you are a terrible role model for kids. I mean, there are far worse examples here in OCW, I’ll give you that, but still… Are you ever going to change? Did you not learn anything from me, after all the time we spent together?
Cheryl: There’s nothing to be changed here. But yeah, I learned a lot from you. You enlightened me about how people’s perceptions can be easily manipulated just by how you look. You’re a troll, a bully and clearly has a problem with authorities…
Cheryl: You’ve disrespected OCW with ludicrous allegations several times. You have disrespected me… and now Stacy? You’re just a petty, whiny little b that doesn’t know anything about the world, the REAL world.
Valkyrie: Well, Cheryl I was hoping this interview would have gone differently, but apparently nothing changed. You are still the same, I’m still the same. Sometimes I have the feeling we sound like broken records. But I’ve been trying to move forward, to forget about what happened. And I really thought you could do the same.
Valkyrie: And that’s because, unlike Riley, I feel like you actually have a fully functioning brain. You know I’m a part time valkyrie and a part time detective: nothing gets past me. For example, I’ve already exposed how much of a hypocrite Aerith really is…
Valkyrie: I’ve noticed something different in you, after everything that happened on Lution. You will never say to my face, nor admit it publicly, but I can tell your regrets are haunting you.
Valkyrie suddenly drops the trolling act and gets very serious as Cheryl looks away.
Valkyrie: You know, sometimes I think about that night. What would have happened if it was you laying down on the mat and me holding that steel chair? I wonder if I would have done the same thing to you...
Valkyrie: ...and I really don’t want to know the answer.
She then walks always, leaving Cheryl alone as the camera fades back to the commentary team
The camera pans to the announce team.
Well dam that was tense!
You telling me!
C.Q.C vs B20
The camera pans to the announce team.
Ohhh Noooooo!
Ohhh yesss!!!
The scene opens up at the OCW Headquarters in New York at Mr. Sensation’s office.
Mr. Sensation: Jesus Christ......it smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
Mr. Sensation begins to grab his Febreze out of his desk drawer and begins to spray frantically. His office door begins to creak open and the smell grew worse.
Mr. Sensation: It smells like Bigfoots ****......
Mr.Sensation: Oh god it's you.
Code Jackman steps into the office.
Code Jackman: Excuse me sir.
Mr. Sensation: No you excuse me. You smell is offensive, dear god man at least roll around in a puddle for Christs sake, have some dignity!
Code Jackman: But it has been over 30 days.
Mr. Sensation: Ah, that's why you are here go outside here is a trash bag.
Jackman grabs the bag and goes outside. He began to scrape and claw what is left of his T-shirt. He ends up getting the shirt and tights off and he put them in the bag.
Mr. Sensation opens his window from his office and begins to shout down.
Mr. Sensation: Move stupid stand outside, OUTSIDE!
Mr. Sensation begins to squirt Jackman with a hose! Why does Our Hero have a hose? well I ask you why the hell not? He tossed a bar of soap down and 5 bottles of Febreze.
Mr. Sensation: Now just do what you need to do! LEAVE!
An hour later Jackman is all clean, wearing a garbage bag looking like the step son of trash he shrugs at Mr.Sensation as if to say now what?
Our Hero looks around and throws him an XXXL Sentai Hare Tshirt, Limited Edition Mo'Cream Velour Sweat pants in Pastel Purple, and a size 13 pair of Jacob Trance Fuzzy Fat Slippers!
Mr. Sensation: Go now wear those, go away, go home!
Code Jackman:Thank you this is just one step towards success.
Jackman grabs the clothes and he glanced over to the trees where all the buzzards that were watching over him descenagrated like Wrex chance of winning a title. Jackman begins to grin and smile.
The camera pans to the announce team.
I CAN SMELL HIM FROM HERE!
Smells like teen spirit!
The Camera Pans To The Ramp!
Kassidy: Lets not pretend you don't know why I am out here and cut right to the chase.
Kassidy: My Fasha, Ryu, was kidnapped and I know who did it; it all really came down to who would want to get rid of Ryu?
Kassidy: That no good, dirty, disgusting, two cent street corner THOT: Stacy Clark! You were tired of being told BEGONE THOT, and tried to make my Fasha begone instead.
Kassidy: Now get your ass out here, admit to you crimes and tell me what you have done with him.
