KD: So let me get this straight...we show up for the show...talk about…
H2O: Mmhmm
KD: Reclaim…
H2O: Mmhmm
KD: Call them out…
H2O makes an explosion gesture with his hands.
KD: Say less. I dig it.
KD and H2O continue to talk amongst themselves in the hallway. Meanwhile, AC Cobra steps within camera shot.
H2O continues to talk but KD stops listening because notices AC Cobra standing directly behind his new partner.
KD folds his arms and gives a head nod to gesture to Harvey that someone is behind him. H2O turns around and just smiles to serious looking AC Cobra.
H2O: Should I disrespect you like Bobby did? Have you stand there and try to explain everything to me behind the mic?
H2O: Behind that squared circle you have a lot to say. When I physically had The Good Light in my possession you constantly threatened me. Challenged me. Name calling.
H2O: You boast about how much better you’ve become. You wanted to make a name for yourself last season.
H2O: Well now the famished is going get some H2O.
H2O: You ever think for one second that you’re going to do ME the way you did Bobby Minio, You have another thing coming.
H2O: Last time you seen me I was The Head Rookie. Two years later, I’m The Head Superstar of this brand.
H2O: Lighting may not strike twice in one spot. But let me tell you A….C…..
H2O walks up face to face as Cobra’s head shakes and his teeth clenched.
H2O: ….Rip Tides do.
H2O walks away as he is set to take on AC. KD gets up out of his chair and turns to Cobra.
KD: The Garden needs a bit of H2O to grow. It’s about time we weed out the filth.
KD walks away. You can hear off camera.
KD: Yo, Ocean! I’ll meet you back in the locker room. There’s still some Thanksgiving Dinner leftovers that needs eating.
AC is left there in his own anger as the scene fades.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Poor Cobra
GOOD!
The scene opens in the backstage area
Valkyrie is still limping after the assault at the hands of Kat. A couple of members of the OCW medical staff are with her.
Jim Black quickly catches up to her to ask her some questions
Jim: Valkyrie… What just happened? Why did Kat hit you with a low blow?
Valkyrie is biting her lips, still in pain.
Meanwhile Jim Black looks like he's about to burst out laughing
Valkyrie: She snapped! And then she hit me…
Valkyrie: Uhm...
Valkyrie: ...you know where…
Jim Black starts giggling
Valkyrie: Don't laugh! It's not funny!
Jim Black tries to regain his composure, while Valkyrie crosses her arms and looks down, visibly embarrassed.
She simply wants the interview to end as soon as possible.
Jim Black: I'm sorry.
Valkyrie: Getting hit below the belt hurts the girls just as much as it hurts the boys.
Jim Black: Well… a win is a win. Even if it was by DQ. And Kat is a former OCW Women's champion so you should be happy.
Valkyrie: A win?
Valkyrie: Are you kidding me?
Valkyrie: The only person who “won” tonight is my gynecologist, because she's gonna have some work to do tomorrow
Jim Black can't resist any longer and starts laughing out loud
Valkyrie: IT’S NOT FUNNY! STOP LAUGHING!
Valkyrie storms off, as the camera cuts to the commentary team
The camera pans to the announce team.
This is terrible!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA...RIGHT IN THE BREADBASKET EH EHH HAAHAHAHAHAH
The Xtron Flickers On
A camera pans diagonally up to see Ijitu Quartz staring in a mirror, observing his beard. Quartz hair has lost the clean shaven look of the Anniversary show and has grown out slightly over the last few weeks.
Quartz: Tisk, tisk, tisk. You never take care of the beard. One of the many things I can't stand about you.
The lights flicker quickly in the background as Quartz removes his TTT jacket and hangs it in his locker. He runs his right hand through his beard and shakes his head in disgust.
Quartz: Like a gah' damn animal. It's no wonder you're a loner. Who'd wanna come near ya looking like some kind of cave dwelling freako.
Quartz: Ah yeah, big guy. I appreciate the sculpt you put on these bad boys...
Quartz slaps his biceps and grins into the mirror.
Quartz: ... but this beard gotta go. The ladies like a well groomed champion. I think that frizzy haired babe that's been hanging around Kass... Whatsername? - Heather.
Quartz plugs in the small beard trimmer and turns it on, moving it around and looking for a place to start the maintenance.
Quartz: She looks like she's out of her damn mind... but Ijitu likes a little crazy. Hahaa.
Quartz: Hmm...
Quartz suddenly cuts off the trimmer and picks up the scissors instead, swiftly cutting his tied beard all off. The lump of hair and rubber band holding it together fall directly into his hand.
The RIOT Tag Team champion looks into the mirror and breaks out into laughter before taking the beard trimmer and going directly at the remnants of Inness' long beard.
Quartz: That oughta do it for now.
He runs his hand over his short, but growing hair and squints into the mirror.
Quartz: Yeesh. This is the last time I give up control.
Quartz grabs the chunks of hair left on the small vanity and turns to throw them away. As he turns around slowly, a man in a large black overcoat stands in front of him. The camera pans up and Intell Quartz adjusts his glasses, before lowering his hood. A black streak of hair mirrors Quartz blue.
Ijitu jumps back and stares directly at Intell for a few seconds, before looking down at the hair in his hand.
As he looks back up, Intell is gone and Quartz stands alone in the locker room. After taking a serious look and appearing to become saddened, he smirks and drops the hair in the garbage before sliding it away and grabbing his TTT jacket.
Quartz: Finally time to dance, Riot.
The camera pans to the announce team.
Is this some kind of war ritual!
HE READY!
H20 vs A.C COBRA
The camera pans to the announce team.
OUTTA NOWHERE!
He got all of it!
We turn to the patented P3 soundstage as the studio audience claps in supreme approval. However, the only things we’re able to see are the Limp Bizkit cover band standing there doing nothing, Drago’s couch, and Mugen’s desk. The Fred Durst look-alike clears his throat and…..nothing happens. The drummer for the band blows his nose on his hoodie.
After a few moments….
Suddenly, Mugen and a Newly Freed Drago’s heads smash through the top of the desks and they smile devilishly. The Limp Bizkit cover band starts playing their rendition of Smoke in the Water, also known as “Rollin’ (on the Smoke in the Water)”.
Both: WELCOME.
Drago: TO THE GREATEST SHOW….
Mugen: IN THE GALAXY!!!!
Bubba appears from underneath the couch, peeking his head out. He appears to be wearing an astronaut helmet. Drago and Mugen then disappear underneath the desk, reappearing by smashing through the desk entirely from below.
Both: WE ARE…..THE……
Both: PLATINUM PLATONIC…..PARTNERS!!!!!!
The pair fist bump each other, causing an invisible explosion which knocks Mugen to his newly formed desk and Drago to his couch. Bubba sits on the floor between the couch and the desk.
Mugen: Old sport, I heard from the grapevine that you chose the next guest for this show.
Drago looks confused and does a Tim Allen grunt.
Drago: AUGH????? I no choose, I’m thought you choose.
Mugen puts his hand on his chin.
Mugen: That’s strange. I could’ve sworn it was your turn?
Drago: We take turn?
Bubba snarls at the screen as the guest reveals himself from behind the curtain; a man of darker skin looking like he’s in his mid to late forties.
The man is shirtless with glitter all over his dark blue dress pants. He also appears to be wearing a blonde wig that doesn’t really seem to fit him at all. Drago stands up from the couch and lets the man sit.
Bubba has a slight grin on his face, while Mugen appears to be delighted. As we look at the man closer, he seems to be British, maybe he’s Idris Elba. You know what, it definitely is Idris Elba in a blonde wig.
Mugen: Dupree! Old sport, where have you been?
‘The Briterness’ “””Tiberius Dupree”””: Oi mate, time. Long time. Been here smashin heaps of slags rite?
Mugen has buried his chin in his hands while looking at The Briterness and looking very interested in knowing what has happened to his old foe/pal.
The Briterness: The whole time travel gag was fun but it had me in loads of barney.
Drago: Barney? Like purple dinosaur?! AUGHHH
Drago magically pulls a golden sword from underneath the couch.
Drago: CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES. SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU. AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE BARNEY.
The Briterness: No you nutter, you know, Barney……
Drago shakes his head not understanding the British slang
The Briterness: …...Rubble………
Drago is beginning to raise his sword up with a feverish look in his eyes.
The Briterness: TROUBLE. IT MEANS TROUBLE YA BLOODY NUTTER. Why da fa** did ya team up with this bloke….
As The Briterness looks over to Mugen, Mugen is now spinning around in his studio chair.
Mugen: LOOK IT CAN DO FLIPPY STUFF TOO!
Mugen presses a button somewhere on the chair and it launches him into a front flip and forces him to land onto the desk smashing it into pieces.
Bubba and Drago now start stomping on the desk pieces like it’s on fire while Mugen is repeatedly stopping, dropping and rolling.
The Briterness: Look, the only reason you invited me, The Golden God, on your show was to get me cheesed off innit?
Mugen snaps his fingers as a plate of fine exquisite cheese show up on a floating platter where the desk was.
Mugen: I apologize old sport but you got me thinking of cheese and where else to get fine cheese than, Sakuraba’s, New York’s only Michelin Star restaurant owned by a wrestler.
Mugen flashes a cheesy smile at the camera while we hear Drago go “DING”.
The Briterness: Look if you two………
Mugen snaps his fingers again and now a floating plate of fish and chips appear in front of a now pleased “””Tiberius Dupree”””.
Drago: I hear you have gift. Give now Briterness.
The Briterness: Well rite, paid about 30 quid for each of these so you better appreciate it.
Mugen claps his hands as the lights go dim in the stage.
Mugen: CLAP OFF.
A commotion is heard on stage as the three gentlemen are heard yelling at each other. Bubba growls loudly to a pop from the studio audience.
After a few moments, two claps are heard again presumably from Mugen.
Mugen: CLAP ON!
Drago, Mugen, and Bubba suddenly appear with the same blonde wigs on their heads as The Briterness. All of them, including The Briterness, scoff at each other.
Drago: Hmph.
Mugen: Hmph.
The Briterness: Hmph.
The camera pans over by the curtain to reveal an incensed B-17 feeling the top of his head.
