The crowd is treated once again to the opening bars of Christian Shepherd’s theme. He strides down the ramp, looking like a man with something on his mind. The crowd boo forcefully as he enters the ring and brings a mic to his mouth.
Shep: OCW fans, did you see what happened last week? That piece of trash destroyed my new ride!
The crowd cheers in approval.
Shep: I don’t get it, he’s supposed to be the example pride, honor, and the American way! What does he do? He goes and commit a felony assault on my car.
Shep: For what? Because I dropped him as a tag team partner? Or because I took the Pride Championship in a match that gave him ample opportunity to get some “revenge”. Not that he was ever going to get it.
Shep: I mean you all saw that masterpiece in video editing last week. He doesn’t have it in him. He’s made to fail. So he had to go on and go after my poor defenseless car.
Shep: Well Cort all last week did was back up everything I’ve ever said about you. It’s sad because there was a piece of me that thought that me doing this would bring something new out of you. But no… still same old failure.
Suddenly, the titantron flashes to life. Both Shepherd and the crowd turn their attention to the screen. The first thing we see is the top half of Cort Marshall, sitting in a camping chair, wearing a fishing hat and plaid shirt. The background is fuzzy, but looks to be an impromptu campsite. You can hear a faint sizzling in the background.
Cort: Oh, hello there! I thought I heard some awful whining. How’re you doing down there, Shep? Enjoying your time as champ?
Shep: Failure! I’m going to kick your ass Cort. You are done! Done! Done! Done!
Cort just laughs in response to Shepherd’s anger.
Cort: Oh, that’s rich. Even for your delusional self, Shepherd, that is RICH. You stole my title. You’ve attempted to steal the rest of my career. But YOU’RE angry about some wheels. Just some shiny object. That title you have around your waist, monetarily, might be worth about the same as those wheels. But it’s not just a THING. It’s not just a symbol to indicate importance, which is why you so desperately cling to it.
He leans forward in his chair.
Cort: No, Shepherd, that title means a lot more around my waist than it ever will around yours. Because I may not have Pride on my waist right now… but I have pride in my country. I have pride in its people. I have a reason to get up every morning and fight through the pain, because of them. Because of every man, woman and child who form the foundation of the greatest country on this God Damn earth. What’s your reason, Shepherd?
Shep: How sweet! For Merica! You wouldn’t know what it’s like to be constantly passed over time after time as the higher ups tend to throw you in high leverage situations no matter how much you lose. Me on the other hand, I had to stick the proverbial knife in your bag to make anything happen. Had to scream from the rooftops to get promoted when people who did half the work that I did already got the call up.
Shep: I want to be the OCW Champion Cort. This Pride Championship is the first step. Back in the day the guys grabbed the NA title, or the International. I got this, it shows that I’m climbing that ladder. Because I’m more than the fluke champion that you were. I prove that when I beat you without even breaking a damn sweat.
Shep: This title around my waist says you’re shit out of luck if you want it.
Cort: You make a lot of claims, Shepherd. You claim you’re here to prove you were always better than me. That I was holding you back. That head office won’t give you opportunities. But truthfully I think you’re afraid that without me… you’re irrelevant. Oh, sure, you’re the champion. You can win a damn match. But is the buzz around you, with that belt? Or have people gone back to gawking at TTT, at this week’s returning legend, at everyone else but you. Do the people in that crowd light up when you walk out, or do they just want to chuck their drink and tell you to fuck off back into your black wetsuit and leave this company the way you came in: a fill-in nobody with no personality, no je ne sais quois, and no PRIDE. Arrogance… but no pride. Pride has to be earned. And you ain’t earned shit.
The crowd pops at the insult, but Shepherd fires back in short order.
Shep: I’ve busted my ass as much as anybody. What I lacked in your “personality” I more than made up for it in the ring. Austin Lee, Jacob Trance, Kassidy Hayes. The three names that have beaten me one on one. What do they have in common? World Champs. Look who’s beaten you this season alone. My performances speak for themselves in the ring.
Shep: How’d you earn that pride title to begin with when I was carrying the team. The tape shows you can’t hang. It should have been me from the beginning and hey I might still have you on my back instead of kneeing you in the face for fun.
Both men are distracted from their arguing, as suddenly, the opening riff of Nobody Speak plays across the arena PA, followed by the opening lines “Picture this: I’m a bag of dicks, put me to your lips…” as the One Man Revolution Bobby Minio elbows his way into a splitscreen view beside Cort.
Bobby Minio: Gentleman… Jarhead. I can imagine you guys forgot about me, given that I was busy on other fronts. Fact is, I was sitting here beside this perfectly good camera and saw a couple of fronters chopping it up over a title that should have been around MY waist weeks ago. Hell, I should have had that strap well before that.
Both Cort and Shepherd look annoyed that Minio has co-opted the screen. Minio is undeterred as he moves in closer to the camera, his index finger pointing at his face.
Bobby Minio: I AM the Pride of OCW. I have been since I signed on the dotted line. Sensation instantly knew that I was that special something that would change the way men on this roster operated in that ring, let alone the way they walk and talk in this place. I don’t just bring out the best in every opponent, I’m the EXAMPLE that they use when they sit down with rookies and tell them how to make a name for themselves.
He reaches to something off screen, bringing another C4 shirt into camera view.
Bobby Minio: I threw the flowers down onto the grave of a long dead outfit here in OCW and I made headlines. I shook the hand of the man I spent the better half of the last year chasing and I changed the entire complexion of the OCW… and don’t let that get in either of your heads, because honestly I feel nothing for the both of yas. No mercy. Zero respect. Now, let’s sit down as one man and two enhancement talent and hash out how I manage to snuff out a dumpster fire on this roster with gold around my waist, shall we?
Cort stares sidelong at the man who took half of his screen space.
Cort: Enhancement talent? Tell me again what you did last show… lash out because Pugh treated you like his bottom bitch. And now you’re here to budge in on my real-estate?
Bobby Minio: You can’t claim to own grounds you’re renting, soldier. I already stated clearly what I did on Turmoil. I think the more significant topic is what I did the last time you and I faced off, which is to beat you clean in what should have been a title match--
Shepherd interrupts Minio, pointing at the screen.
Shep:Neither of you are coming for my title. I earned this in the ring, out of my environment at that. It took upwards of a year to get a legit opportunity at singles gold. I didn’t get it from having hall of fame friends or begging for a handout. I made it known and I took it. I beat the two of you in the same week, convincingly both times.
Shep: So as the man you were referencing Bobby I say either of you want the Pride Championship then you need to earn it. The participation parade stops with me. Just accept that even if either of you two do end up facing me for this thing the end result is going to be the same. The Shepherd’s call will hit and I will continue on as The Pride of OCW, and the Pride Champion!
Cort: OCW will never be proud of you. And I will have my title back. Minio, you might be the One Man Revolution, but you can call me the One Man Army. You don’t want to step into my line of fire.
Cort sits back in his chair, voice returning to calmness.
Cort: But before we all go, I should mention just how good of a grille a car rim makes…
The camera pans down to show the source of the sizzling, a charcoal grille DIY-ed out of a big Mercedes rim. The crowd pop at the reminder of what happened last week.
Cort: See you soon.
Cort’s half of the tron darkens and Minio goes fullscreen, his lips curled up on one side.
Bobby Minio: I feel like I have to keep repeating myself here…
He leans forward, tapping the boom microphone off screen.
Bobby Minio: CHECK? CHECK? IS THIS THING ON?
He rests back on his heels, shaking his head with his eyes rolled back into his skull.
Bobby Minio: What more do I have to do to earn a title than beat the guy carrying it? I earned it weeks before YOU got a shot at it. They set me to be a warm up for Cort, but the truth, the uncomfortable TRUTH Shep, is that I was the blunt object, the tenderizing mallet that left Cort nursing his body and his self confidence back into shape when he gave you an opportunity at the strap that I was not afforded.
Minio smirks to the camera as he glances off to the side, thinking to himself.
Bobby Minio: I’ll leave you with this Shepherd. You’re welcome. Show some gratitude and thank me in the way you know you should. Mic drop.
His fist raises up into the camera frame as he pantomimes dropping the proverbial microphone. He winks into the camera just as he leans forward, cutting the feed and leaving the screen blank as the camera pans back to Shepherd in the ring. The Pride Champion is pissed Cort and Minio have left the champion holding his mic with more to say. He talks to the blank screen like there is still someone there.
Shep: I say when we’re done! There no mic drop when I’m the one with the mic! I will not be disrespected like this!
The crowd laughs at Shepherd as he kicks the turnbuckle. Shep glares at them as the crowd gets his attention. His voice turns a bit more sinister.
Shep: Here’s a little bit of history for you sheep. Queen Elizabeth the first once said, “I’ve sent wolves, not shepherds to govern Ireland, for they have left me nothing but ashes and carcasses to reign over”. This wolf is about to leave two more for you all to see real soon. Drop that.
Shep drops the mic as the the camera cuts back to the announce team.
The camera pans to the announce team.
HAHA!
BOOOO
The XTron Flickers On!
The scene opens in the backstage area. Stacy Clark is standing next to Valkyrie.
Stacy: This wasn't exactly a night to remember for you. Ashley Moore humiliated you with that selfie after the match ended. She layed on top of you and took a picture, then posted it on her Instagram.
Valkyrie: Moore wanted to embarrass me publicly tonight. And she did just that.
Valkyrie: But it's nothing compared to the humiliations I've suffered throughout Season 13.
Valkyrie: Last year, I left Wrestlution on a stretcher thinking that I was never going to walk again.
Valkyrie: I had to spend three weeks locked up in some hospital bedroom, as the doctors were telling me I was going to spend the rest of my life on a wheelchair and my mother was crying 24/7 on the phone.
Valkyrie: Meanwhile, the only friends I have ever had couldn't even be bothered to come and visit me because I ended up just being a burden to them.
Valkyrie: I was physically assaulted in that same hospital bedroom by Heather Angelo while I couldn't even stand on my feet…
Valkyrie: Words cannot describe how helpless and humiliated I felt that day.
Valkyrie stops for a moment. A tear is now running down her cheek
Valkyrie: And what about the night Kassidy Hayes forced me to wear an attire he designed?
Valkyrie: That was by far the most humiliating night of my wrestling career. I was forced to wear his symbols, his shirt, even his silly keychain...
Valkyrie: The bad guys won tonight, sure.
Valkyrie: But this is my Fairy Tale.
Valkyrie: Princesses have to overcome plenty of obstacles but they will ALWAYS get to their Happily Ever After.
Valkyrie: That's because every Fairy Tale has a Happy Ending. And so will mine.
The camera pans to the announce team.
What a trollop!
HOW DARE YOU!
The Camera Pans To The Ramp!
Quartz picks up a microphone as Rust Cohle takes both championship belts outside the ring.
Quartz: Hey, hey, heyyyyy.
The OCW Universe boos at the sight of the tag team champions.
Quartz: Now, that's not the sort of reaction I was expecting, guys! C'mon!
Quartz laughs to himself amongst the boos and removes his TTT jacket (available on OCWSHOP.com) and PRISTINE SUNGLASSES. He places them on the far corner of the ring, just outside the ropes.
Quartz: A few weeks back, I was told I'd have the pleasure of kicking the patriotic ass of one Cort Marshall inside this very ring.
Quartz: Unfortunately, the sissy went and got himself injured at his Devil's Night match.
Quartz walks around the ring with an unbridled arrogance, smirking at the crowd ringside. Rust Cohle claps and hypes his tag partner in the ring.
Quartz: I'm sure you're watching back there, Cort. I wouldn't be shocked if you had learned of our match tonight and decided to feign the injury to avoid facing me.
The tag champion shrugs in the middle of the ring before leaning on the back ropes, nearest the announcers table.
Quartz: ...and now here we are, one of the greatest competitors this company has ever known has to wait patiently in this ring for some third rate replacement to walk out here.
Quartz: Well, you know it doesn't matter who walks through that apron. You're dealing with one of the best on RIOT. I don't care if Vega himself trots his old ass out here.
Quartz shakes his head and gains a level of seriousness before planting on one last statement.
Quartz: I beat DRAGO CESAR. That's right. I am the best in the world now, my wonderful idiots.
Quartz: There isn't a mortal human being that could walk through that curtain that would scare me. I'm Ijitu Quartz, gah' dammit...
Quartz: ...I am the greatest tag team champion this company has ever seen!
A familiar theme interrupts the RIOT tag team champion and he stands stunned in the center of the ring, waiting for his shocking opponent!
QUARTZ vs ????????
The camera pans to the announce team.
Wow!
Word!
Previously Recorded
A car pulls up to a medical facility.
Man: I thought you said you were bringing her to a hospital?
H2O ignores him and they both hop out of the car. He rushes around the back of the vehicle as one of the men opens the door where Heather is seated.
H2O struggles a bit to drag Heather from out of the car. Heather is slowly coming back to her senses after the back of her head hit the wall.
Heather: (Whispers) Where are we?
Harvey continues to ignore everyone’s questions and finally gets Heather out. He leans her up against the car because she’s dead weight.
As she finally gets upright Harvey bends down and lifts her onto his shoulder once again. The man closes the door behind Harvey and runs in front of them.
He opens the door for The OCW Heavyweight Champion and Harvey is met by Dr. Larry in the front door with security.
Man: Need all muscle for one woman?
Dr. You obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with here. Who is this guy? Get him the hell out of here?!
Man: Yo man! Who’da f-
H2O reaches into his jacket and pulls out a card and gives it to the gentleman that helped him and Heather get to the facility. The man looks down at the card.
Man: What’s this?
H2O: It’s two free tickets to The Clash PPV. Type in the promo code: “Head Champ”. They’ll mail it to your house. Thank you...gotta go!
Dr. Heather needs assistance, Harvey! Let’s go!
Heather hears the familiar voice. She lets off a soft but yet demonic growl. Everyone just stares at each other for the longest 2 seconds ever.
Man: You right? Thanks, Champ. I’m out!
Dr. Larry opens his eyes wide, turns and runs while leading Harvey to one of his offices. The doctor opens the door and Harvey rushes in behind him.
Harvey stops to look around the room and it’s totally empty and slightly dimmed. There’s a few crucifixes on the walls around the room. A chair sits alone on the back wall with several restraints on it.
Then you hear…
Heather: (Softly) Harvey?
Dr. Larry points to the chair. H2O walks over to it sits her down nicely. Harvey walks away from her and messages his shoulder that she rested on.
Heather rolls her neck around several times as she starts to growl again. It becomes...ferocious. Harvey turns around and stood aghast at sight he is seeing in Heather.
Furiosa: Harvey, you act as if you never seen me before, haha. You have but just never knew it.
Dr. Larry recognizes the voice immediately.
Dr.: Security!
Dr. Larry backs up against the wall and slides his body away from her as security rushes in. Furiosa tries to fight the men off but it’s too many of them. Dr. Larry stands just outside the door to talk to his secretary.
Dr. It’s time. Get him in here.
H2O is completely beside himself. So many questions is racing through his mind but he can’t get his brain to his mouth to connect.
The security has now fully strapped Furiosa down to the chair. Legs, arms, torso AND neck!
Finally, Dr. Larry’s special guest arrives to the room.
H2O just stands there and puts both his hands on the top of his head.
Priest: Are we ready for the exorcism?
H2O: Wait! Is it THAT serious?
Dr. Larry looks back at Harvey.
Dr. You want your friend back? Stand back and let him do the work.
You hear Furiosa growling like she’s a Walker from the Walking Dead in the background as the scene fades.
