The scene opens in the backstage area. Stacy Clark is standing next to Alyssa Winters
Stacy Clark: Aly... mmph. Miss Winters, another impressive win tonight.
Alyssa Winters: I'm getting good at it, am I? I am slowly climbing up the leader boards of OCW. I'll be a Platinum soon enough.
Alyssa Winters: See, the managers bet on the wrong horse with Valkyrie. She can't be the face of our division. Don't get me wrong, I love her: we've been friends since we were six. But I know her better than anybody else, so trust me when I say this...
Alyssa Winters: She is too naive to realize that her career could be a lot easier for her if she just learned to keep her mouth shut and do what she is told to do. Instead, she just keeps arguing over and over, getting into trouble for no reason other than her stupid moral code.
Alyssa Winters: Mister Sensation should bet on me instead. I am the Master Prestige of this Lobby, I'm the Platinum of this Fireteam... you get it.
Stacy Clark: Is there something you want to say to the OCW Universe?
Alyssa Winters: Who? You mean the basement dwellers who cream their pants every time they see me wrestling someone? Oh yeah, I love you. You are the best.
Alyssa Winters: You made me rich and popular, so yeah keep at it. Don't forget to subscribe to my Twitch and to my Patreon for a chance of me showing some cleavage on Live stream for you 40 year old virgins. That's how Twitch works right?
Alyssa Winters: And let me tell you this: I am not just another name in the roster page. I am more successful, more interesting and more skilled than anyone else in OCW. And I don't even need cheat codes! It's all skill, baby.
Alyssa Winters smirks at the camera and then leaves the scene.
The shine of tag team gold elicits booing from the OCW universe as tag team champions Rust Cohle and Ijitu “Cowboy” Quartz stand, seeming very aggravated at something.
The camera zooms out to see a familiar OCW staffer… One of FAME’s lackies.
Staffer: He doesn’t take walk-ins from rookies. You know that by now, don’t you?
Rust: I am also sure you know that us kicking you in the ass wouldn’t bother him too, right?
Staffer: Maybe not, but I’m doing what I’m asked. Can’t you guys just follow direction? Then we can all keep our jobs.
Quartz interjects aggressively. He carries the same tone and violent swagger he’s adopted since embracing his “Cowboy” character the past few weeks. Gone is the typical smug grin and arrogant eyes he once hid behind his PRISTINE SUNGLASSES that were taken off of his face by Paul Pugh.
Quartz: Now listen here, you third-rate, undergrad toadie pile of horse manure. I ain’t have no time to listen to your petty woe-is-me sob story, you understand me?
Quartz: I gots just one question’ ta ask that walking belt rack of a “champion”... and either yer’ fixin’ to tell me where he is or yer gonna get stomped into a fine mound of grain and blood.
Staffer: He--He’s not here.
Rust Cohle, growing more annoyed, gets to the point at hand.
Rust: You seem to have all of the answers, tiny man. So tell us; Why am I in a handicap match with those disgusting Brits’ tonight? I know this is FAME’s doing.
Staffer: I don’t schedule the matches.
An OCW Tag Team Championship swings off of the vested shoulder of Quartz and lands on the ground suddenly as Quartz scowls and pounces on the staff member, slamming him up against a nearby wall.
Quartz: AIN’T NOBODY ASK YOU THAT, DID THEY!?
Quartz turns to see the camera imprisoning him as a Cowboy and drops the staffer to the ground. He grabs the sides of it and looks directly into it, shaking it as he shouts into the lens.
Quartz: You think this here camera’s got a holda me, Paul? You best be gettin’ you and yer’ dumb lacky buddies back there ready, because if you’re thinkin’ you can keep hidin’ behind network outages and “technical difficulties”, yer’ wrong.
Quartz: You can shove yer’ matches up yer’ ass, pardner.
Quartz taps Rust Cohle on the shoulder and lifts his title off of the ground.
Quartz: C’mon, Rust. Let’s go put these rookies down once and fer’ all.
Staffer: W-wait! Didn’t you read the stipulations?!
Rust stops and turns around.
Rust: What are you on about now?
Staffer: ...Uh… TTT members are barred from ringside. Any interference means the tag team titles will be vacated…
Cowboy Quartz’ eyes widen and he slowly removes his 10-gallon hat and gently places it down on a nearby table.
Quartz: Ya’ here that, Rust? Looks like yer’ on yer’ own. I reckon’ this Cowboy’s gotta find a different way to get out all this pent up energy.
Rust laughs to himself and walks with the camera away from Quartz and the staffer, who is still cowering on the ground.
The camera follows Rust Cohle, walking towards the ring for his match as just outside of view, we can hear the screams of the OCW Staff member being assaulted by one-half of the tag team champions. The scene fades to black
RUST COHLE vs THE UNCROWNED
The camera pans to the announce team.
Looks like we had some issues with the camera truck.
Someone is getting fired!
The scene opens on the hallway backstage, the standard crowd of OCW crew buzzing about and working to produce the show that is Riot. The camera pans to the side to show the Pride Champion and One Man Revolution, Bobby Minio, walking through the crowd, a purpose in the pace of his stride.
Dressed in his street clothes we had seen him in at H2O’s place, Minio now has headphones locked down over his ears, and his Pride Championship belt clutched in his left hand as he walks.
As Minio walks by the room with “OCW MERCHANDISE” signed affixed to the door, an OCW staff member peeks his head out, jogging to follow Minio as he attempts to get his attention.
OCW Staffer: Mr. Minio! Uhh, Bobby? Uhh, Mr. Pride Champion?
Minio continues to walk past, finding gaps between the various crew backstage, barely visible routes through the chaos to his destination. Minio is either no-selling the man, or can genuinely not hear him but it’s hard for the viewer to determine at the moment. The staff member is now holding a box of sharpees up, attempting to get ahead of Minio so he can get his attention visually.
OCW Staffer: Mr. Man Revolution or whatever!
He finally gets beside Minio, as he then makes the mistake to reach up and pull Minio’s headphones from his ear, forcing Minio to stop dead in his tracks. Though his Wayfarers cover his eyes, it seems clear that a look of cold death is being directed at the man, who now begins to react accordingly.
OCW Staffer: I-er… T-they have an a-a-assignment f-for you, M-Mr. M-M-Minio.
Bobby Minio: … Assignment?
The man holds up the box of sharpees, now deeply regretting his decision to try this approach and wishing with every fiber of his being that someone else had been given this task.
He then realizes how this must look in front of a camera and works to steel himself, taking a deep breath and holding it in his chest, bass filling his voice and a look of determination rolling over his face.
OCW Staffer: Yeah, that’s right. Before your match tonight. We need some more t-shirts signe-
Before the staff member can finish his sentence, Minio swipes the box of sharpees from his hand, pacing the staff member back onto his heels as Minio drapes the Pride Championship over the man’s shoulder.
With one motion, Minio removes a sharpee from the box, removing the cap with his teeth and then grabs him by his hair, pulling him closer as the staffer winces in shock and slight pain. Minio then signs the man’s forehead while his scared eyes pointlessly roll upward, as if he were trying to watch it in the process.
Once his signature is completed, Minio spits the sharpee cap into the man’s face, the cap bouncing off and falling to the ground. Minio dumps the box of sharpees out onto the floor, then grabs his Pride Championship belt from the staff member’s shoulder, reaching up to adjust his headphones again as he turns to continue on his intended path.
Bobby Minio: Tell ya what bud, I’m really busy today, so you do me a solid, grab yourself a mirror, and just copy that signature down on the shirts for me. If your “bosses” take issue with that, you tell those three bitchmade busters they know where to find me and my guys. We’ll be tearing the roof off of the building in the main event.
Dumbfounded, the man stares in the direction Minio has walked. He looks side to side, trying to figure out what to do, before ultimately dropping to his knees, still shaking as he tries to clean up the sharpees from the ground.
The camera watches the messenger who was just figuratively shot for a moment before fading back to the ring side area.
CORT MARSHALL vs TRE GOLDEN
The scene transitions to the P3 Soundstage 9000. The live studio audience claps in anticipation as Mugen and Drago show up side by side, bouncing on pogo sticks. The pair are also each wearing rabbit ears around their heads. The camera pans to “Fred Durst”, revealing that he too is wearing a pair of rabbit ears.
Mugen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
Drago: And robot.
The camera pans over to the audience, where we see a man wearing a leather jacket and shades with a physique of a bodybuilder. A whirring sound can be heard as he turns to the camera and stares at it, his eye glowing.
Mugen: WELCOME TO……
Drago: THE P3…...
Mugen and Drago try to do a super cool secret handshake while bouncing on the pogo sticks, but they wind up losing their balance and are sent flying. Mugen goes through his desk and smashes for approximately the eighty seventh time while Drago is sent back over the couch. They shrug it off while staff brings Mugen a new desk. Both of them stand back up in unison.
Both: BONANZA!!!!!!
Drago sits on his couch and Mugen sits at his desk.
Mugen: Tonight’s guest is quite a festive one.
Drago: But Easter not for a little while.
Mugen: Old sport, it’s never too early to respect RABBITS.
Drago: Is true!
The camera pans to “Fred Durst”.
“Fred”: That’s deep.
Mugen: I gotta be honest though Drago, I didn’t expect to see this man tonight. We haven’t seen him in quite a while! How’d you find him?
Drago: Well it turn out that he went back to his dimension. So naturally, as responsible person would do…..The last time I’m visit your estate, I went to your time dimension thingy and I’m hit some buttons. So now he back.
Mugen: Now that’s the old sport I know and love! HERE HE IS….BUNNY M!!!!!
Bunny M appears from behind the curtain looking rather confused. But his level of confusion hits an all-time high when he sees Mugen. Mugen stands up from his seat and points at Bunny M. Bunny M reciprocates. Drago looks left and right at Bunny M and Mugen and starts pointing at both of them with both hands.
Drago: You two twins?
Mugen & Bunny M: NO!
Bubba growls to the tune of the Spiderman theme. Meanwhile Mugen and Bunny M are still staring at each other while Mugen attempts to see if there is a difference in their height with his left hand by moving it over their heads.
Mugen: Same height….
Mugen examines Bunny M up and down.
Mugen: Same athletic build……what are you like 250?
Bunny M: 252.
Mugen: Hot dog! That’s what I weighed in this morning.
Mugen & Bunny M: After taking my morning DEEEUCE.
Mugen’s eyes widen and Bunny M’s eyes presumably do too behind the mask.
Drago: That very strange.
Drago motions for Bunny to take a seat on the couch.
Drago: So you and me have match this week on Riot. We have no hard feelings. I like you. You fight well.
Bunny M: Oh that’s nice of you old sport. Yes I would also like to have a respectful contest of graps in the ring this week.
Mugen: What a nice guy he is. Hey I hope you two have a great match but Drago, I also have a surprise for you old sport.
Drago’s eyes widen as he thinks of the possibilities.
Drago: Is it The Room 2: Johnny’s Revenge?
Mugen: Keep guessing.
Drago: Is Bubba having babies?
Bubba growls loudly.
Mugen: I’ll confirm that he said no. I’ll just show you. I also went dimension hopping this week and found this guy to help motivate us. COME ON OUT BUDDY.
The curtains open up on the P3 Soundstage to reveal what looks like Drago but with an insanely hairy chest and a sweet moustache. This Drago from another dimension then delivers a kick to the air which suddenly sends audience members in the bleachers flying back.
Mugen: I present to you. CHUCK DRAGON CESAR!
Drago: OH MY GOD!
Drago gets up from the couch area and starts running at Chuck for a hug. Chuck waves no and at this moment the force from the waving sends Drago flying backwards into Mugen’s desk splintering it into pieces. Drago takes a look at Chuck and can hardly contain himself from laughing.
Mugen: What’s so funny?
Drago points at Chuck and laughs like a maniac.
Drago: His chest look like Chia pet!
The camera closes in on Chuck’s chest and indeed, his chest looks like a garden. Mugen corpses, hiding behind the remains of his desk. The pair finally calm themselves down after a minute or two.
Mugen motions for Chuck Dragon Cesar to join him on the soundstage.
Mugen: What words of advice can you give us in our pursuit of that treacherous, dirty, heinous, terrible, murderous, slanderous, stupid Matsuda and the rest of TTT.
Drago sits up from where the desk was.
Drago: MatsudAaaAAaaAAaaAaaa
Chuck thinks for a moment and kicks the air when he gets an idea. This breaks a lightbulb somehow. I really don’t know how. Chuck talks, but his lip movements don’t seem to match what he’s saying at all. As a matter of fact, his voice sounds like something coming out of a run down recording booth in the seventies.
Chuck: A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can't do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.
Chuck’s gums keep flapping but he doesn’t actually say anything.
Mugen: Amazing. And that thing we can do is TAKE OUT THE TRASH!
Drago: MatsudAaaAAaaAAaaAaaa
“Fred”: YEA TAKE IT OUT!
As “Fred” jumps to get next to Mugen, he startles Chuck who calmly kicks “Fred” in the face.
Mugen: WO………..
Mugen then takes a roundhouse kick to the face as well.
